Containment Now that Chris-Chan's story is coming to a conclusion, who/what should be in the movie about his life?

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JavisFNF

The Mad Hat
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Glad CWC wiki "misgendered" him while Wikipedia avoids "misgendering" because "LEGACY" and Sonichu lore. One was about Chris becoming a "woman with D-cup breasts Christine" and looking radically different. It was narrated in a panel which made me kek.
S11-43.jpg


Glad his sis or mom wasn't skinwalked, but I think his mom and/or sis should be in the movie too
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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In the post credits scene, the merge happens and the jerkops guarding Chris are murdered by Sonichu, Rosechu and Magi-Chan. Chris transforms into his Sonichu form and the four of them fly off to CWCville.

I still prefer the community interpretation that the Merge will have everyone exploding into Orange Fanta as a naked Chris reaches out to touch them.
 

Linkola's IT Guy

Not removing my medallion
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I agree that a Chris-Chan movie or professional documentary seems inevitable at this point, although a mainstream one may not come out until after his death. I have no opinions on possible directors or actors, but since this thread exists I will use this opportunity to sperg out about possible ideas for the movie (I'm only half-serious about these):
  • A sappy depressing drama or a feature-length documentary that mostly sticks to the facts, but portrays him as the innocent victim at the hands of the evil trolls and Kiwis. This seems the most likely to happen, but it would totally suck.
  • A dark comedy film. To make it accessible to those not familiar with Chris and so it isn't entirely focused on trolling or incest, it should start with his birth and end with either his discovery by the internet or with Megan abandoning him. Since so much of this is "pre-Christorical" time, they can just make plausible things up to fill in the gaps.
  • A humorous documentary or a comedy-drama. Split it into three parts: Birth to internet discovery, internet discovery to Bob's death, and Bob's death to incest arrest. If it was a drama, the trolls and sweethearts could be consolidated into a few characters to make things more concise. If it was a documentary, basically just make a professional consolidated version of the GenoSamuel series.
  • A film in the style of The Usual Suspects. Chris just got arrested (lump together incest, Snyder, and GameStop for comedic effect), and he's telling his life story during the interrogation. He talks about how he was a top student in high school and college, is a celebrity, has a popular comic book with thousands of fans, defeated an imposter trying to steal his character, and is drowning in boyfriend-free China. He even convinces them that he didn't commit the crimes. But once they let him go, they Google his name and show a collage of CWCki articles and Kiwi Farms posts demonstrating that he made the whole thing up. Then the movie ends.
  • A Sonichu cartoon series or animated movie, being based on a more well-written version of the story in the comics. Won't ever happen due to the intellectual property nightmare that would be involved. In fact, Sonichu would probably have to be replaced in a theoretical movie due to this issue.
  • Make a spiritual successor to The Social Network called The Kiwi Farms. Like that movie, make up as much of the story as necessary to make it entertaining. Null steals source code and screws over the previous owner(s) of the CWCki Forums to create Kiwi Farms, and he is making a killing off of CWC-related merchandise. He is being sued by Chris-Chan's high-priced lawyers, who allege that Chris deserves a share of the profits. The flashback scenes will just be various real and fabricated humorous Chris or Null incidents.
If you're an indie filmmaker, please make a CWC movie that is actually decent. The story basically writes itself, and you can film half of it on a 2007 webcam anyways.
 
Last edited:

AfghanBlue

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Feb 2, 2021
I'm 4300 words into a script. I'm not going to post it because it is a very very rough draft and I only want people who aren't super familiar with CWC reading it for the time being, because they can give more objective criticism of it as a script.

Got tired of people talking about "oh what if we made a Chris movie blah blah blah" and not actually just writing one.
how it goin'?
 

Hogar Grupal

Chris Needs Me
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Joined
Aug 13, 2018
I agree that a Chris-Chan movie or professional documentary seems inevitable at this point, although a mainstream one may not come out until after his death. I have no opinions on possible directors or actors, but since this thread exists I will use this opportunity to sperg out about possible ideas for the movie (I'm only half-serious about these):
  • A sappy depressing drama or a feature-length documentary that mostly sticks to the facts, but portrays him as the innocent victim at the hands of the evil trolls and Kiwis. This seems the most likely to happen, but it would totally suck.
  • A dark comedy film. To make it accessible to those not familiar with Chris and so it isn't entirely focused on trolling or incest, it should start with his birth and end with either his discovery by the internet or with Megan abandoning him. Since so much of this is "pre-Christorical" time, they can just make plausible things up to fill in the gaps.
  • A humorous documentary or a comedy-drama. Split it into three parts: Birth to internet discovery, internet discovery to Bob's death, and Bob's death to incest arrest. If it was a drama, the trolls and sweethearts could be consolidated into a few characters to make things more concise. If it was a documentary, basically just make a professional consolidated version of the GenoSamuel series.
  • A film in the style of The Usual Suspects. Chris just got arrested (lump together incest, Snyder, and GameStop for comedic effect), and he's telling his life story during the interrogation. He talks about how he was a top student in high school and college, is a celebrity, has a popular comic book with thousands of fans, defeated an imposter trying to steal his character, and is drowning in boyfriend-free China. He even convinces them that he didn't commit the crimes. But once they let him go, they Google his name and show a collage of CWCki articles and Kiwi Farms posts demonstrating that he made the whole thing up. Then the movie ends.
  • A Sonichu cartoon series or animated movie, being based on a more well-written version of the story in the comics. Won't ever happen due to the intellectual property nightmare that would be involved. In fact, Sonichu would probably have to be replaced in a theoretical movie due to this issue.
  • Make a spiritual successor to The Social Network called The Kiwi Farms. Like that movie, make up as much of the story as necessary to make it entertaining. Null steals source code and screws over the previous ower(s) of the CWCki Forums to create Kiwi Farms, and he is making a killing off of CWC-related merchandise. He is being sued by Chris-Chan's high-priced lawyers, who allege that Chris deserves a share of the profits. The flashback scenes will just be various real and fabricated humorous Chris or Null incidents.
If you're an indie filmmaker, please make a CWC movie that is actually decent. The story basically writes itself, and you can film half of it on a 2007 webcam anyways.
As long as Chris doesn't profit from it or gain sympathy, I'm all for it. Maybe it will happen after his death. I think some people are afraid to get to Chris now for fear they will get doxxed.
 

Johnny Clyde Cash

I mocked a cow on KF just to watch them cry
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I think one of the main difficulties with making a Chris Chan movie is part of what doomed him to become a massive lolcow in the first place: he never changes, and he never learns.

Aside from the fact that he trooned out, what's changed about Chris as a person over the last dozen or so years? Aside from becoming paranoid about trolls, what has he learned? Chris Chan lacks a lot of the qualities that make for a typical protagonist because he spent the better part of his life sitting around waiting for things to happen, and then being angry at the universe when those things didn't just appear in his lap.

That's not to say a movie or documentary can't happen, only that I don't think Chris can be the character the audience follows through the movie. You look at movies like The Disaster Artist or A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, those are movies that are about eccentric or interesting people (Tommy Wiseau and Mr. Rogers, respectively) but told from the perspective of more normal, understandable people (Greg Sestero and Lloyd Vogel, respectively) that the audience can project onto.

You wanna know who the Chris Chan movie should be about? One of his defense lawyers. Imagine one day you're in your office, going about your business, normal life, normal family, and then all of a sudden you land a case involving this fringe celebrity that millions of people know, and the more you learn about this person that you have to defend and their online history, the weirder things get. It's like lifting up a rock in the forest and gawking at all the weird bugs that scurry away. Seeing a normal person's journey down the Chris-Chan rabbit hole is probably one of the only ways to tell this story in a fictionalized way that won't alienate most audiences.
 

Hogar Grupal

Chris Needs Me
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Glad CWC wiki "misgendered" him while Wikipedia avoids "misgendering" because "LEGACY" and Sonichu lore. One was about Chris becoming a "woman with D-cup breasts Christine" and looking radically different. It was narrated in a panel which made me kek.
View attachment 2899804

Glad his sis or mom wasn't skinwalked, but I think his mom and/or sis should be in the movie too
It's interesting since Chris states "he's changed" and in this drawing he insists he's the same person then as he is now. Which is true because Chris still has the same disgusting habits/traits.
 

Strange_Bear

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Joined
Feb 10, 2022
Glad CWC wiki "misgendered" him while Wikipedia avoids "misgendering" because "LEGACY" and Sonichu lore. One was about Chris becoming a "woman with D-cup breasts Christine" and looking radically different. It was narrated in a panel which made me kek.
View attachment 2899804

Glad his sis or mom wasn't skinwalked, but I think his mom and/or sis should be in the movie too
If he was normal, he’d be so well-spoken
 

tonysgotballs

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Jul 30, 2021
Idk or care who should play as chris/barb/bob but there has to be a sex scene between chris and barb (hell we can throw in bob Chandlers ghost witnessing his autistic son actually hitting his wifes g spot.)
 

Hexbox

I nurture my skin.
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Somebody call Joe Mantegna, I don't care what role he gets.
 

Ser Ciappelletto

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Aug 2, 2021
Idk or care who should play as chris/barb/bob but there has to be a sex scene between chris and barb (hell we can throw in bob Chandlers ghost witnessing his autistic son actually hitting his wifes g spot.)

It has to be shown symbolically (ie the train going through the tunnel in North by Northwest). In this case, it can be a literal bent duck trying to stick its head into a dusty, cobweb filled sewer pipe.
 

Shidoen

... .--. .- -.-. . / -. .. --. --. . .-. ... --..-
True & Honest Fan
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I want every actor who once placed a role for Benjamin Franklin and have a lineup as them for the Chris Chan Movie: Fucking for Nuggies.
 

Pointless Sperg

Crying Anchuent Cherokian
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It has to be shown symbolically (ie the train going through the tunnel in North by Northwest). In this case, it can be a literal bent duck trying to stick its head into a dusty, cobweb filled sewer pipe.

I mean, it doesn't have to be. They could shoot something tastefully like in Harold and Maude.