Containment Now that Chris-Chan's story is coming to a conclusion, who/what should be in the movie about his life?

Christorian X

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Aug 3, 2021
The Early Chronicles of The Egg Lady.
All the scenes in CWCville could be done as a trippy, trooned out musical like Hairspray.

Since I'm already invested in this by suggesting John Waters as writer/director, here's the cast list in my mind:

Bob - Dustin Hoffman (even looks like him a bit)

Barb - Kathy Bates (seriously spot on with this one)

Teenage / 20's Chris - Erik Charles Nielsen (Garrett from Community)

Cole - John Luvitz in a bald cap

Meagan - Bailee Madison

Mary Lee Walsh - Glenn Close

Clyde Cash - Glenn Howerton

Bluespike / Julie - Jack Macbrayer

Liquid Chris - Evan Peters

Man in the Pickle Suit - H. Jon Benjamin or Billy Eichner, two very different directions, both equally funny

Michael Snyder - Craig T. Nelson

Various Female trolls - Patton Oswald, Charlie Day, David Hornsby, Aubrey Plaza, BJ Novak

Null - Mark Duplass

The Idea Guys - Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Current Chris - Zach Galifianakis

Bella - Gilbert Gottfried in a $10.00 wig

CWCville residents - Hank Azaria

Sonichu - Justin Roiland

Jacob Sockness - TJ Miller

Jerkops - Rainn Wilson, Danny Devito
 
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Mariposa Electrique

October 4-18, Chris Will Be Happy!
True & Honest Fan
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Jun 3, 2016
Since I'm already invested in this by suggesting John Waters as writer/director, here's the cast list in my mind:

Bob - Dustin Hoffman (even looks like him a bit)

Barb - Kathy Bates (seriously spot on with this one)

Teenage / 20's Chris - Erik Charles Nielsen (Garrett from Community)

Cole - John Luvitz in a bald cap

Meagan - Bailee Madison

Mary Lee Walsh - Glenn Close

Clyde Cash - Glenn Howerton

Bluespike / Julie - Jack Macbrayer

Liquid Chris - Evan Peters

Man in the Pickle Suit - H. Jon Benjamin or Billy Eichner, two very different directions, both equally funny

Michael Snyder - Craig T. Nelson

Various Female trolls - Patton Oswald, Charlie Day, David Hornsby, Aubrey Plaza, BJ Novak

Null - Mark Duplass

The Idea Guys - Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Current Chris - Zach Galifianakis

Bella - Gilbert Gottfried in a $10.00 wig

CWCville residents - Hank Azaria

Sonichu - Justin Roiland

Jacob Sockness - TJ Miller

Jerkops - Rainn Wilson, Danny Devito
Chris will be played by Ted Cruz or Bruce Vilanch or no one at all.
 

Terrorist

Osama bin Ladkin
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Jul 7, 2015
The best way to make a CWC movie that would stand on its own and be accessible to outsiders would be to start in his childhood and have the Megan Saga + his discovery by ED be the climax. Barbcest really changes what "Chris the Movie" would be like, since prior to very recently Chris's Oedipus complex was just one of many disturbing undertones in a larger saga; now, it would have to be a focal point.

There should be CWCville fantasy sequences where Comic!Chris is played by James Franco or some other mainstream actor friendly to weird indie projects that would look similar to the Wachowski bros' Speed Racer. At the end, CWCville's pastel skies darken and we see references to various sagas pollute Chris's mindscape (Asperchu comics in the newsstands, etc.)

As far as directors, I think Jim Jarmusch, Harmony Korine or Todd Philips would be pretty good choices.
 
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ñññ

Me encanta ser blanco y estoy orgulloso de serlo.
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Jun 14, 2021
I just want the CWC movie to be written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by David Fincher. Imagine all those gorgeous shots of Null looking sexy in front of a computer screen (a la Girl With the Dragon Tattoo) while Liquid or Alec Benson Leary have a quick and snappy dialogue exchange with Chris over the phone.
 

Dafioskeus Azbiyo

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Nov 10, 2021
anyone who does would be perfect for the roles
But.
Only 3 directors would be directed by this first: Michael Bay, for the explosions and the action.
Zack snider for the tragic and dark-toned way for the story and last but not least.
The direct rob zombie to look like a low-cost feature film that looks snuff.
 

AVZ

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Joined
Oct 5, 2017
The real question is: how much will a studio pay for the rights to Chris' life story and what plastic bullshit will he spend it on?
 

Sailor

Oh Fawk Buddy
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Oct 6, 2021
If only we can get Tommy Wiseau in this film. I don't know what part he could play other than a weird skinner version of Chris.

"You're tearing me apart Megan!"