@Null Lolcow Megathread - The Autistic Owner of an Autistic Site

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SIGSEGV

All statements made by this account are fiction.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 8, 2020
Hello Kiwifarms, long time lurker first time poster.

I just want to point out to you guys that this site's administrator, null, is a pedophile. ''How do I know that?'' You might ask. *smirks* well I read it on Encyclopedia Dramatica of course. I have been on the internet for ages you know and was an active member of chanology and anonymous, where I single handedly attempted to take down the scientology church. After 4chan became filled with literal nazis I moved to reddit, which to this day is my base of operations. I must say, I like this site, you guys have guts and I like that, but unfotunately your ''admin'' is a pedo and you guys seem to just accept that. I do not accept this and therefore I am looking for users who are willing to form a group to hunt down pedos infesting this website. You in?

See you in court pedos.
 

SIGSEGV

All statements made by this account are fiction.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 8, 2020
“My God, you are all fucking retards,” @Synth snarled, throwing up his forehooves and scooting his chair back from the table with one kick. He was done, absolutely done, the Clawmmunists were a distracted bunch but they were usually able to at least focus on the details of the latest mission before devolving into jokes, not to-fucking-day though. The entire group had devolved into verbal shit posting before he had even began to outline anything. Synth, who’d admittedly drank too much the previous night and was still dealing with the repercussions of that choice, was too cranky to even entertain the idea of controlling the wild shitlords.

So he simply chose not to.

The satyr stormed out of the debriefing room and into the streets of 8chan, frustration pouring off of him. Nothing could be easy for him could it? A hot wave of anger swept from his neck to his hooves, making him shutter. Fuck, he had to get back into the privacy of his rented room.

It had started when he was just barely in to his ram-hood, he had gotten into an argument with a close friend, Synth had feigned defeat so that he could tug one out in the bathroom. From then on Synth placed himself in aggravating situations almost as fervently as he sniffed out raunchy ewe pin ups, becoming a master at holding on to his fury until he could lock himself in his room.

By the time he arrived in his room, Synth was panting in both arousal and anger, his cock bulging painfully against the zipper of his pants. As the door closed, his fly was popped open and his wet, dripping member was exposed to the cool air of the small room. He briefly considered just spitting into his forehoof and rubbing it out, no, Synth was a special kind of pissed off today.

The satyr began rummaging through his foot locker, ripping out his immaculately folded clothes and tossing them aside like they had insulted him on a personal level, searching for his more ‘personal’ items. His fingers finally closed around a hefty chunk of silky silicone and he pulled out a thick, royal blue dragon dildo that Lemmingbot had smuggled him. It was blunt with a sizable knot near the base, about ten inches long and thick as a small cup. Yeah, he liked to ravage his own ass with thick, ridged dicks sometimes, he was a size queen, sue him!

Toy in hand, Synth practically threw himself on his bed, ass up, tail out of the way in what looked for all the world like a bitch in heat. Wasting no time, the satyr plunged a finger, totally dry, into his hole. The stretch fucking hurt, feeding the hot ball of rage in the rams belly. He worked himself open with one, then two, then three fingers, stretching himself just enough to accommodate the thick, punishing cock without injury but not without pain.

Synth pulled the digits from his body with a lewd, slick noise as he repositioned himself to kneel on the wood floor, arms resting on the mattress, the dildo head resting on his loosened entrance. Keeping the shaft steady with one forehoof, Synth breached himself with the toys head.

The satyr let out a long, low groan, the stretch stung but sweet God it felt so good. He paused when he had taken just under an inch, rolling his hips, letting the toy press up against his insides. Synth’s cock, heavy and ignored between his legs, pulsed with need as it began to drip precome. Fuck, he’d need to wipe the fucking floor, great. Another wave of hot fuckthisfuckthatfuckeverything crackled in Synth’s loins.

The ram bristled and his hips gave an involuntary jerk, stroking his inner walls just so. He could take more now. Bracing himself, Synth used the weight of his body to impale himself further and further on the toy. The room was filled with heavy breaths and muffled cries as the satyr sunk onto the cock. With each violating millimeter, Synth imagined himself straddling the hips of one of the Clawmunists, watching them as they gasped beneath him, trying to buck into his body but being unable to. Let them be frustrated, let him fuck with them for once.

When the toy’s large knot met Synth’s opening, he paused once again, this time allowing himself the luxury of grabbing his flagging cock and aggressively stroking it as he wiggled his hips again. Yeah, you feel me, you little cunt? You like my ass? You want to cum?

Synth began to grind against the knot with gusto now, feeling the bulge begin to slowly, painfully, slide inside of him, stretching and stretching his already abused hole. Im going to fucking take all of you! Synth bore down on the knot, and with a sharp sting and a slick noise, it seated itself inside the ram.

The feeling of the hefty bulge finally locking the huge toy inside of his body was too much for Synth to bear. With a distressed bleating noise, the satyr’s entire nervous system lit up in ecstasy. His cock pulsed as it released rope after rope of white over the floor, hips bucking, hole pulling at the knot deliciously. The invisible Clawmunist below him was crying out, begging Synthovine for relief as well, but no, they would be left to deal with their own needs.

Synth let himself fall sideways as he was released from his orgasm, boneless on the dusty floor. He tested the knot inside him checking to see if his body would release it, his ass clenched around the toy like it had a mind of it’s own. Fine, what fucking ever.
 

Cuck Shack

Leaving the lights up for next Christmas.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 27, 2019
Come to think of it, Jersh has never put an explanation for the ED shit in an easily accessible place. There's no way that he doesn't expect the occasional spastic to do this every now and then. Some retard shits out a poorly written NoOoOol thread at least every three months. I bet the madlad would allow a well written thread about himself and shitpost in it.
 

Moon Pigeon

don't feed me past midnight
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 9, 2019
I want OP and his socks to get their own thread
I want to amass a collection of Null threads and toss it all into one, where we come to mock the führer (and his dissenters, of course.) Invite all of OP's socks to come and sperg. Invite any of the peanut gallery who wish to do the same. And bring in the big man himself to take a few potshots, a critical mass of retardation which we may milk an infinite lol from.