Obscure Laughingstocks -

[💗Bitchstopher Columbitch💗]

I'm not sure where else to put this. I found this lovely post. in a facebook group Tamarlover was in. Apparently, makeup is witchcraft.

 

[Deranged]

Myblossomsnowydaisy / Rebecca Hills, Insane brittish women, bus driver stalker and groupie.

Spoiler: Images

She looks like this:

Spoiler

:/

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Dr Phil is back with more famous internet people

He had on an internet famous girl who cuts herself and gets famous for it.

 

[MysticMisty]

Many years ago I was a member and later mod of a Super Mario forum. It was small but the people there skewed older than the average on other sites (late teens and 20's) so it balanced out that things were a lot less spergy there for the most part. That said it wasn't immune from drama or spergs and today I'm going to talk about Terry.

Terry said he was in his early 20's, but he acted half that age easily. For example, when he found out that Burger King in the US and Canada was currently running a promotion with Nintendo toys in the kids meals, Terry actually ran out and bought a kids meal. In England. And then bitched on the forum because the UK wasn't doing that promotion. Did I mention that he was 20 at the time and that nobody else was considering buying a kids meal?

By the way at this time he actually listed his favorite restaurant as Burger King.

Needless to say Terry was an unpopular member due to his immaturity and either left or was banned, I can't remember which. I do remember one of the last things he told someone was that he was "just like Reese!", someone who got banned before I joined but according to Terry made fun of his mom dying. For the record the other member would lightly tease Terry (and everyone else) but never mentioned his dead mom once.

Fast forward to 2014 when someone contacted me out of the blue on DA saying they were from the forum. I didn't recognize their name so I visited his page and immediately discovered it was Terry. I ignored his ass but occasionally check out his page for anything worthy of the DA Horrors thread. I never noticed anything good, but silly me, I forgot to check his journals.

At age 32 he still acts like he's 10.

So the first thing I discover is that he deleted fucking everything late in 2014 because of drama, but doesn't really say what. Considering that a few journals later he decided to "forgive" the people involved only to then immediately state they don't deserve it it's safe to say he 100% brought it on himself for being a massive fucking sperg.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Starting-again-488868872
http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Forgiveness-499985843

He also whines twice about cyberbullies and ED, but they're otherwise not noteworthy journals. The one where he bitches about permabans, however, is!

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/The-immorality-of-permabans-501141568

For the record he's not talking about the forum I was active with, but I'm positive whatever he did they were justified in permabanning him and tired of his whiny bullshit.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Blocking-for-no-reason-503117740

The stalking thing he mentions is really interesting and I wish I knew what exactly happened.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Fairy-types-Eugh-516270201

Bitching about type balancing dragon discrimination in a children's RPG! That he admits he hasn't even played in years.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Getting-my-life-back-553959864

One of the only clues I can find to what happened in 2014. Looks like everyone including his tard wrangler got tired of his bullshit and called him out on it attacked him for no reason.

There's nothing worth mentioning for a while, just lots of LPs. But then we have this:

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/75-more-days-565420715

Terry isn't like Chris! ...If only because there are no n00dz, tomgirl/trans antics, or death threats/revenge via poorly drawn comics.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Happy-Christmas-502414575

Never mind I went back to a journal I overlooked and found this:

From now on, there will be no talk of revenge or how much I hated you or your forum, etc and there will be no more "revenge" fics either.

Never mind he's kind of a Chris-lite after all!

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/2014-in-a-nutshell-502956791

Doesn't really offer any information, but the mods must have been really fed up with Terry because as far as I know Lemmy's Land was/is really spergy and skewed young (as in actual kids).

Terry became vegan about a year ago and will not fucking shut up about it. I'm trying to find a journal where he openly supports peta propaganda I saw a few months ago but can't find it. I did find one where he legit believes Brexit will fuck over animal welfare.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Devastated-617334814

Also there's a bunch of journals mixed in about learning how to drive. He still hasn't managed to yet. At least Chris got his license in his teens/20's. I mean, he absolutely sucks at driving, but he still can legally do so.

http://scarpine496.deviantart.com/journal/Urgent-update-RT-UK-in-threat-640644777

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one.

Can't find anything else to really add so I'll just end this with the face of an extremely obnoxious sperg.

Spoiler

 

[MW 002]

Oh boy this lolcow is making me feel like I'm in 2007 again. I just might make a topic on her later if there's enough demand.

Allow me to introduce you to BurntheBible666:

An edgy satanist Tranny sped who drew themselves going white chapel on Blaire White and frequently attention whores on Twitter.

Her main headline in her twitter account:
"666 hail satan. fuck your religion. fuck god. and i burn bibles, now fuck off."

YouTube channels:

https://m.youtube.com/user/andersonjuan16
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCKgsYX375E2VTM5hERQhE3w

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/redshadowcloud

 

[💗Bitchstopher Columbitch💗]

I'm surprised no one mentioned Chris Pagano, the swiss cheese pervert of Philadelphia. He's a fat guy who flashed women while masturbating with swiss cheese.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/beho...izarre-story-of-phillys-swiss-cheese-pervert/

http://www.phillymag.com/news/2014/01/11/norristowns-swiss-cheese-pervert/

He used to post on okcupid about cheese, but now I can't find his posts or his profile. I guess they've been deleted.

 

[💗Bitchstopher Columbitch💗]

These anti gay comics are pretty great. I'd love to visit Rainbowland's poop shop.
https://www.facebook.com/HeterosInspiringPride/
http://heterosexualsinspiringpride.weebly.com/index.html

This one's actually a pretty accurate representation of SJW troons:

 

[MysticMisty]

So...is it the Train of Death or the Train to Nowhere? Also a missed opportunity to have the temperature be 69. And if this town is all gay all the time why do they need to worry about murdering babies? Also those random wind turbines.

10/10 Hang it in a museum.

 

[Big Nasty]

So...is it the Train of Death or the Train to Nowhere? Also a missed opportunity to have the temperature be 69. And if this town is all gay all the time why do they need to worry about murdering babies? Also those random wind turbines.

10/10 Hang it in a museum.

Recycling is for fags

 

[FemalePresident]

I'm just discovering this guy, he's another extremely autistic brony who happens to tag Neo Anderson in his embarrassing posts sometimes.

He's from Ireland. Born on October 25th 1988.

Spoiler

You should also check his facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100015098771367

There are some weird videos of himself talking to his 'friends'

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/graemek86/featured
Twitter: https://twitter.com/graemekelly1988

Oh God...

This guy is a complete trainwreck.

 

[CatFace]

http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/catholicchurch/about-website/#.WP_xOP_qZJ8

 

[Morose_Obesity]

My former boss was obsessed with Hooters girls; most of them were wannabe "models" posting lots of handbra and other shit on social media. I was fucking sick of eating there with him and the girls lived lolcow lives stringing along rich guys like him only dispensing the punani often enough to keep them desperate. One of them married a guy for a greencard but then decided to fuck off with his money anyways and head back overseas. It's been a decade and I moved. I looked that guy up and now he's a 50ish party animal still acting 20 and clubbing and driving sportscars and shit.
I looked up the alpha hoes and lo and behold, they're either STILL working at Hooters or some other bartending job in skimpy clothes. The one he liked best is a single mother and still thinks she's a model at 30ish years old. Pregnancy made their boobs even smaller.
There was this real pathetic moment when I had to endure their bullshit on my boss's boat. He (looks like Gary Cole with cirrhosis), one guy who was sorta a real life Campbells soup kid come to life but as a bloated, alcoholic and the Hooters girls, one with a thick accent rapping to Fergie "If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home" I suddenly realized how pathetic men can really get.

 

[Dual Rectifier]

After purchasing and playing Rocksmith 2014 for a bit, I delved into online communities, namely reddit, and found this absolute gem of a schizophrenic mess right there. Bear with me as we delve in. This guy has been completely untouched, and I don't know how he might react. However - this, in my opinion, makes him all the more interesting, because what I've already found in his containment is hilarious. I'm still not sure if he fits the definition of lolcow, but I'm not sure where better this would fit.

Kyle John Abent
12058 Bertha ST
Cerritos, CA 90703
(562) 653-0493

Reddit: www.reddit.com/r/rocksmithcustomsongs (He created his own reddit as a "personal song diary")
YouTube: www.youtube.com/rocksmithdiary
YouTube: www.youtube.com/mynameiskyleabent
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/kyle-abent
Facebook: www.facebook.com/kyle.abent
Last.fm: www.last.fm/user/kyleabent
Twitch: www.twitch.tv/kyleabent/
Steam: steamcommunity.com/id/KyleAbent
Blog: www.rocksmithdiary.blogspot.com
Email: kyleabent@gmail.com

View attachment 210942

Kyle Abent is a 28 year old, currently unemployed, self-proclaimed musician. As for his musicianship? I think he would prefer to let the music do the talking. Let these videos speak for themselves.

In fact, let his 1,019 songs on SoundCloud do the talking for him.

They're all completely and totally *average*. They're not the worst I've ever heard in my life, but they're nowhere near good. They're beginner's work. It's clear he has rhythm, not much, but no mind for melody in the slightest. His songs are all very similar - except they drone on for quite a bit longer. This was the best example I could find.

How does he feel about his music? Oh, do you even have to ask? He expects bitcoin, you see! In fact, he expects people to pay for his every expense, and his car insurance and own debts!

View attachment 210979
http://archive.md/eT8YW

Along with that, his facebook and reddit posts are nothing short of strange, in the way that's almost memeworthy.

Here's him acting strangely while being confused that another bad guitarist is bad.

Spoiler: Some choice cuts from his facebook

View attachment 210985

View attachment 210986

Spoiler: Posts about the same song. 8 times.

View attachment 210971

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Possibly more of these posts to come, too.

Spoiler: His kink is making you confused.

View attachment 210984

Spoiler: Has interesting views about American education.

View attachment 210980

I'm sure there's much more out there, but this is a good stopping point for me. I'll continue mining tomorrow. It's your turn to experience the "Kyle Abent Experience", as he calls it!

 

[MW 002]

Oh boy this lolcow is making me feel like I'm in 2007 again. I just might make a topic on her later if there's enough demand.

Allow me to introduce you to BurntheBible666:

An edgy satanist Tranny sped who drew themselves going white chapel on Blaire White and frequently attention whores on Twitter.

Her main headline in her twitter account:
"666 hail satan. fuck your religion. fuck god. and i burn bibles, now fuck off."

YouTube channels:

https://m.youtube.com/user/andersonjuan16
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCKgsYX375E2VTM5hERQhE3w

Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/redshadowcloud

I have found another obscure lolcow:

https://www.patreon.com/Carliro
https://mobile.twitter.com/Mullerornis
https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1646834232&tsid=0.49434883340583724&source=typeahead

Luckily he is dumb enough to reveal not only his full name, but as well as his face:
https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10206499567361742&id=1646834232&set=ecnf.1646834232&source=49

A self hating SJW of the straight white male variety, he's pretty interesting.

He has sent multiple death threats to Blaire White and Sargon of Akkad, while declaring his oppenents as being sociopaths. He doesn't listen to any logic nor reason- to be expected From someone that sends death threats with his personal email attached.

For reasons only an autistic will understand he has also set up a patreon, where so far he has only received a dollar in the last few months. Surely his shitty PR skills have nothing to do with this.

Due to his inability to handle other people's opinions, disagreements according to him will lead to being called a sociopath/tyrant/Christian/alt-right... even if you happen to be a weed smoking liberal

On hisPatreon he aspires to work in the animation/fine arts industry, but doesn't even realize that his behaviour on social media (on top of a severe lack of examples of his "works") isn't helping him win over any financial support.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

I'm just discovering this guy, he's another extremely autistic brony who happens to tag Neo Anderson in his embarrassing posts sometimes.

He's from Ireland. Born on October 25th 1988.

Spoiler

View attachment 209097 View attachment 209098 View attachment 209099 View attachment 209100 View attachment 209101 View attachment 209102 View attachment 209103 View attachment 209104 View attachment 209105 View attachment 209106

You should also check his facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100015098771367

There are some weird videos of himself talking to his 'friends'

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/graemek86/featured
Twitter: https://twitter.com/graemekelly1988

His nose looks like a flaccid penis

 

[Morose_Obesity]

Hey, I have some competition for Chris in regards to shitty art: http://www.littletonstudio.com/pi-atas.html

The artist in question is in his mid 50s to early sixties.

 

[Mr. Burgers]

Http://www.youthink.com/redreine

Very dishonest and our fat enemy.

 

[MysticMisty]

Today I'm going to talk about Hoshun, also from the same Mario forum I initially encountered Terry on. Unlike Terry I coudn't find Hoshun on DA unfortunately, so chances are he did a better job at deleting everything and using a new name to sperg under (unlike Terry who makes sure to slap down his real name everywhere). This is a shame because I won't have his poetry to show off, but it's not surprising for something that happened over a decade ago either.

Hoshun constantly acted like a dick to everywhere. Unlike other members who sometimes gave people a hard time because they actually got along, Hoshun, like Terry, had zero friends and was just being a dick. The way bans worked at this place is that unless you massively fucked up, you would publicly get warned by the staff. This warning also showed up not only on your profile but under your name when you posted so you'd have a reminder (and no excuses) that you were on thin ice. If you fucked up a second time you'd get a second warning and the third time it'd be a temp ban. So Hoshun was constantly at second warning or temp banned. He never spent much time on first warning because he couldn't stop being an asshole. Behind the scenes the admins were strongly considering a three strikes system with bans to get rid of Hoshun once and for all.

One day Hoshun started a new thread opening with something like "Hi I'm Hoshun's IRL sister and I thought I'd post here to tell everyone that Hoshun died in a car crash last night!" On the staff subboard we immediately started to wonder what Hoshun's goal was. Pity before leaving for good because fuck you? The next post by Hoshun's "sister" after a day or so was a shitty sprite memorial made in MSPaint. The kind of shitty sprite pictures Hoshun made quite a bit, further proving that he really wasn't dead but fishing for asspats. But we still weren't sure what his real goal was.

Another day passed and his "sister" announced that in honor of his brother she's going to take over posting here for him because it was what he would've wanted. Ah, there it is. The founder personally replied with something along the lines of "Actually, since Hoshun is dead and you have no ties to this community I'm just going to close his account for good. There's no point in keeping it open since he's dead. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you a nice day." And everyone rejoiced because Hoshun was gone for good.

Many months later the founder posted for all to see a poem Hoshun had linked to her on DA. It was one of those non-rhyming deals, and was really emo. What was it about? How much he wanted to come back despite not liking any of us before. He likened the process as passing through a bunch of gates with the first three or four being time and forgiveness (forgiveness for not going along with his attempt at asspats and pity) with the last two as the forum forgiving him and unbanning him. Something like that. Everybody agreed that they didn't want Hoshun to return, laughs were had at his emo poem, and that seemed like the end of that.

Just a few weeks later the founder posted a couple of pictures she'd just been linked to by Hoshun, but there was no amusement to be had that day. Rather than type up his next emo poem, Hoshun decided instead to write it out on paper...with blood. I really hope he just mixed together brown and red watercolors, but nobody had any way to be sure about it. This time not only did he address the founder by name, he made vague threats about suicide because he just can't live if he's not part of this forum (where he doesn't actually like anybody), more emo bullshit, now with 100% more blood. A few jokes were made about Hoshun making a fake head to show us next, but mostly we were creeped out about how much he was obsessed with returning.

We didn't receive any other emo poems, bloody or otherwise, after that and I can't find a trace of Hoshun on DA now. I'd like to hope he grew up and matured a lot. But if you're on some other forum and a newly permabanned member starts likening returning through a series of gates, watch out for the emo blood poem.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

Hey, I have some competition for Chris in regards to shitty art: http://www.littletonstudio.com/pi-atas.html

The artist in question is in his mid 50s to early sixties.

This is the fucking idiot who made those shitty pinatas:

He is a pariah to anybody but commie antigentrifiers in the 60640 zipcode.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Anyone remember Charles Hamilton? Well someone managed to re-upload the Sonic Brainfart videos on this guy.