Prison Letters Oct 25 2021 - Chris writes letter about a doll

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Doctor of Autism

The True and Honest Man
True & Honest Fan
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The real question is: is Luan Loud and/or The Loud House officially part of cwcverse now? Is Luan now living in cwcville after left Royal Woods?
Every cartoon is part of CWC's dimensional merge delusions. Only exceptions are to Steven Universe, cartoons that are very comedic in the style of Teen Titans go (which is pretty much a new indicator of how autistic someone is similar to trains), and any cartoons that are dealing with the post-apocalypse
 

Sasha

The real name that God and the bear has given me.
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Wait. Hold the fuck up. I took one break from CWC and now he is Christ Chan? What.
It's just his way to remind his followers that when it comes to lolcows, Chris is the first, the last, the everything. The son of soul-bonded-Emmanuel.

So, how long was the break ? Did you have a nervous breakdown when he made sweet sweet love to Emmanuel ?

In case you didn't know, yes, Chris is god and all that, but the GOD OF THE GODS, aka Emmanuel, is Barbara. True story. He fucked his godhood hierarchical superior.
 

No Batty Boys in Jamaica

Rude bwoy nah promote no nasty man, dem haffi dead
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I'm no longer a practicing Muslim. I still know my Arabic, and my friend Mahmood knows Persian. I'm late but the blessing "إيان براندون أندرسون" translates to Jan Brandon Anderson. I would've had something funnier to trigger Muslim inmates, like "سونيشو هو الله والدب هو نبيه" (Sonichu is God and the Bear is His Prophet),
"مارست الجنس مع والدتي المصابة بالجنون" (I had sex with my demented elderly mother), "رمز الله يشبه القضيب" (the character for Allah (الله) looks like a penis) and "مارست الجنس مع والدتي المصابة بالجنون" (My penis is small and curved).
 

HeilDave

GodBear must feed (and sneed)
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He's not trying to communicate with his attorney in sending these letters though. He's just acting conspicuously and stereotypically crazy and wanting his attorney to have a copy of it, which obviously raises some questions about the sincerity of it all.
I think we can all agree this is a very deranged individual who'd been left alone with this thoughts for far too long. It's fair to say his prose would be disordered even if he wasn't gunning for the insanity defense. He wanted the Null letter (sent to some ween) to also be forwarded to his lawyer. We know that Null was also ignoring him at this time.

It's safe to assume his lawyer saying something along the lines of "Chris you've been a very naughty boy so you need some kind of punishment. I've been able to get you (plea deal), it's the best you'll get". Here I speculate Chris says fuck that I did nothing wrong, and felt the urge to shout it to the world.

Friday the 30th: Forced out of my home and Temple; had no where else to go. Had less than 50 dollars between pocket money, and only a couple of bucks or so in my bank account, NO money in my PayPal, Patreon was not due for a payout until Sunday and SSI was not coming into my bank until Tuesday. Harriet and Tom Ashby caste me out before I even arrived to Midlothian. The Van was not majorly uncomfortable. Josh had wired a thousand to my bank that Friday, But it would not arrive until After or on Monday. Little food and Options, and you try bumming in Any Parking Lot without feeling insecure and paranoid. I Needed Safety and Comfort As Quickly As Possible. THAT is why I transferred that money. I was going to pay it back in full; EVEN had $150 from Patreon on Sunday the 1st that went Straight to Barbie Chan's bank account. I WOULD have paid the ramining 600 Monday or Tuesday,
I have written further insights and details and already shared them with David Heilberg. And I get out on Second Coming, or Sooner by uninterrupted Co-Divine Intervention. All of your dreams and curses are No More and unrevivable. Judgement day. Praise us Gods.
 

Procrastinhater

Not my professional opinion
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If possible can somebody redirect me to first relevation of this. Like. Woah. What if that is why he changed his name to Christian? And only now got no fucks to hide it. The rabbit hole is drilling through the hole in the earth. And its not stopping.
:stress:
He wrote a letter to someone and asked it to be passed to Null where he started calling himself Jesus and Null Judas lol.
Then he wrote one to Kengle that continued the tardation.
Oh and then some faggot tried to get him to convert to Islam, but Chris wrote back and told them HE was god, and Allah was his bitch, basically.
 

DeeCeeBees

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I haven't filtered through all the responses because these threads grow like an AIDS breakout in a bathouse. Do we know the identity of the letter writer yet? Did anyone consider it might be Cristina Pucelli, the voice of Luann? Perhaps it creeped her out to imagine he fucked an avatar of her that is supposed to be like 15 years old. Chris does have an affinity for driving voice actresses insane.
 

Plight of the Bumblebee

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I haven't filtered through all the responses because these threads grow like an AIDS breakout in a bathouse. Do we know the identity of the letter writer yet? Did anyone consider it might be Cristina Pucelli, the voice of Luann? Perhaps it creeped her out to imagine he fucked an avatar of her that is supposed to be like 15 years old. Chris does have an affinity for driving voice actresses insane.
It's some ween on 4chan
 

No Batty Boys in Jamaica

Rude bwoy nah promote no nasty man, dem haffi dead
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Joined
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It's rural as fuck Virgina, I doubt there's many Muslims there, but your ideas are indeed funnier.
It's jail. There are lots of Nation of Islam members in jail. And there are plenty of Muslims in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Anwar al Awlaki was imam at a mosque in Falls Church. Then he ran to Yemen where I killed him with a drone lol. Back in '03 when I was just an Illinois state senator (and still a Muslim), the Bush administration uncovered an entire Jihadi network in Virginia.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/06/27/terror.arrests/ < An article about it, back when CNN was just half-truths instead of SJW fake news.
Then of course there were the Beltway snipers. Those two goons did not originate in NoVa but they did commit their crimes in that area.

There wouldn't be too many Muslims in Ruckersville, but as you get closer to DC, the percentage picks up. In Charlottesville there are plenty of Muslims associated with the UVA hospital and the university in general. Many smart people, and sometimes they have children who get into Jihadism because they can't get into right wing ideology. I used to know the exact number of Muslims because the FBI was tracking all of them, but I cut that program after they accidentally stalked my family and almost got into a shootout with me and my Secret Service detail.


Christianity is the white man's religion. Islam and Rastafarianism are the Black Man's religion.
 

Cletus Kasady

The Devil with Yellow Eyes
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He probably fucked the Sanic Totem at one point. It did have some sort of glaze on it...
Did the Totem have any holes in it or???
This is the most boring letter yet, I don’t think we’ll get anymore funny information from this point on, Jesus I wish this gay ween faggotry would cease.
The letters started out strong but now there just annoying.
 

Thomas Highway

We all need somebody to lean on.
True & Honest Fan
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It's jail. There are lots of Nation of Islam members in jail. And there are plenty of Muslims in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Anwar al Awlaki was imam at a mosque in Falls Church. Then he ran to Yemen where I killed him with a drone lol. Back in '03 when I was just an Illinois state senator (and still a Muslim), the Bush administration uncovered an entire Jihadi network in Virginia.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/06/27/terror.arrests/ < An article about it, back when CNN was just half-truths instead of SJW fake news.
Then of course there were the Beltway snipers. Those two goons did not originate in NoVa but they did commit their crimes in that area.

There wouldn't be too many Muslims in Ruckersville, but as you get closer to DC, the percentage picks up. In Charlottesville there are plenty of Muslims associated with the UVA hospital and the university in general. Many smart people, and sometimes they have children who get into Jihadism because they can't get into right wing ideology. I used to know the exact number of Muslims because the FBI was tracking all of them, but I cut that program after they accidentally stalked my family and almost got into a shootout with me and my Secret Service detail.


Christianity is the white man's religion. Islam and Rastafarianism are the Black Man's religion.

What the fuck is wrong with you?
 

GreaterHacaryguaspear

Back faces motherfuckers!
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Wouldn't Chris have to technically wear a Hijab if he became Muz? He would be the only Muz woman with a fucking MLP print Hijab with rocks and bullshit dangling off of it. And he's drank his own jizz, a pint of camel piss wouldn't be too far of a stretch.
I'll funnier if Chris convert to Islam and start use Niqab or Burka
 

Disastrously Dumb

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Oct 5, 2021
Well, the username definitely fits.

On a serious note, people have tried something similar in the past. Chris has always brushed it off; at first he said "[fictional character] isn't real, stop making parodies of my art", then he would say "you do not have my Great Director powers", now he would say "this is from a darker dimension, luckily it didn't happen in C-137 or C-1218". If you want to get Chris to follow the words of a fictional character you have to get him really invested in the narrative you're creating. That's why the Idea Guys roleplayed with him for months, and the trolls after them made friends with him irl.

ah alright.
i just assumed that if people find a way to snap him out of whatever he is in right now
his survivability rate would drastically increase
because the way he is going now would either end with him being shanked
or him thinking that running head first against a wall repetitively will help him cross over the dimensions to C-137 or C-1218

i mean he did punch holes in his room walls, whose to say he wont try it with his ol' noggin.
 

No Batty Boys in Jamaica

Rude bwoy nah promote no nasty man, dem haffi dead
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 4, 2021
I'll funnier if Chris convert to Islam and start use Niqab or Burka
he could commit to Jihad. But I don't see him submitting to Allah's will when he believes himself to *be* Allah's will. He was raised Christian and despite doing godless tings, his Judeo Christian beliefs factored heavily into his decision making.
 

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Taller than a tree
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Sep 25, 2021
I think people should milk the Messiah complex if they want more entertaining letters.

If Chris is getting all these letters rattling his fragile ego, asking about his rape allegations or doll fucking, he'll go into his sonic ball mode and get all catatonic.

Instead I think the letters should be written to be from something like his future self or another version of himself from a different dimension (the only thing that could even hope equal to The True Player One's power level and be worth the time of a CPU goddess). The conceit of this being that now that Chris understands the 'truth' he is communicating with his other selves, across infinite time and space to finally join all the dimensions into a final Ultraverse where everyone eternally kisses his ass without any effort on his part because he's the True Player One.

Meanwhile, in reality, Chris develops a fungal infection in his feet from the showers the jail medical staff are unable to identify. Chris convinces himself that this is because he is possessed by a forest sprit and his power is only growing stronger.

Idk, I think Chris is at his most entertaining when he believes he is in full control, but that couldn't be further from reality.