Interests OFF TOPIC: OPL - The D&D PC - Group project: Let's make stats for Chris if he had to play himself.

  • Apologies for the site issues. The server's shipment was delayed. I'll ask again about it and if they can't provide it I'll source another.

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
"Once upon a time there was a fat, autistic man who believed he was a woman and had magical powers. One day, on his way to McDonalds, the man lost control of his car and drove into the ditch. But this was no ordinary ditch. Instead of crashing, the man's vehicle fell into a hole, but no mundane hole in the ground. No, this was a special hole. This hole was a magical portal into a whole different world. A land of living gods and mighty men, of swords and spellcraft. That man was Christianine Weston Chandler. And this is the story of his adventures.

In the land.

OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS."

Alright, boys get your books and gather 'round. Given Chris's new enthusiasm and renewed interest in D&D, it's time that we stat him out as a PC as people suggested in the thread dated 01/17. Yes, this has been done elsewhere online, but as this is something relevant I think it would be a fun initiative for us to do as a community.

Methods:
  • We're going to play it straight, We're not going to pick things to make fun of Chris' short comings, but just to stat him as he really is.
  • Chris is a level one PC.
  • Chris is human. Specifically, a base human in 5th edition. Chris does not get a feat.
  • RE: Stats - we'll be using the Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 Edition Players Handbook (PDF here) to determine his stats. All "modern" editions run on the d20 engine, so the stats are the same in all recent editions. However, the 3.5 PHB provides additional information that will help us to determine legitimate stats for Chris.
  • For the remainder, we will be using the 5th Edition Players Handbook (PDF here) to select his class and background. Why? Because in this edition of the game, "saving throws" are contested against specific ability stats rather than a separate group of characteristics (such as Reflex, Will, Fortitude). This will make it easier to select a class based on what few strengths Chris does have.
  • We'll just work at one piece of the puzzle at a time. Once, let's say, 20 unique users have posted about whatever is the current feature being discussed and a general consensus has appeared, I'll update this thread to reflect what we've got.
  • We'll also add in an extra ability stat from 1st Edition AD&D, Comeliness; this stat reflects a character's physical attractiveness.

CWC's Character Sheet:

Chris Chandler
Lvl: 1
Alignment:TBD
Class: TBD
Background:TBD

STR: 8 (-1)
DEX: 8 (-1)
CON: TBD
INT: TBD
WIS: TBD
CHA: TBD
COM: TBD
* denotes which ability Chris has proficiency w/ when making saving throws.

Prof. Bonus:

Skills:

Equipment:


THREAD IS CURRENTLY DECIDING: CON score

Last updated: JAN-19-30 - DEX score added to OP.
 
Last edited:

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
To determine Chris' strength, we'll need to compare his feats of strength as demonstrated against the Carrying Capacity chart found on page 161 of the 3.5 PHB, specifically referencing the the "Heavy Load" column, as this equals the maximum amount of weight he can lift over his head, and I feel the over-head lift will be one of the best measures of his strength.

In the "Strongman" video, Chris appeared to have the upper body strength to lift the chair with his junk no problem, but lacked core strength as he seemed to tip backwards.

It was also observed that he was carrying a large amount of stuff around with him at Bronycon.

I think his max lift is probably 80lbs. or 8 STR.

We know he doesn't have the leg strength to lift something heavy off of the ground, regardless of how strong his arms, shoulders, neck, and chest may or may not be.
 

The Fool

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"Once upon a time there was a fat, autistic man
chris was born to a post-menopausal woman with terrible genes and never get exercise. his body produces more estrogen than normal and probably has more genetic defects than the average person, it literally isn't his fault he's slightly overweight. you're all nothing but a bunch of snooty little manchildren who just looks for the easiest most obvious target on someone and goes hog-wild while never actually analyzing someone enough to offer constructive criticism of their lifestyles. it's fucking amazing i even log in to this shitty website anymore, i may as well browse reddit.
 

Mr. 0

god im not good at computer how did this get here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
chris was born to a post-menopausal woman with terrible genes and never get exercise. his body produces more estrogen than normal and probably has more genetic defects than the average person, it literally isn't his fault he's slightly overweight. you're all nothing but a bunch of snooty little manchildren who just looks for the easiest most obvious target on someone and goes hog-wild while never actually analyzing someone enough to offer constructive criticism of their lifestyles. it's fucking amazing i even log in to this shitty website anymore, i may as well browse reddit.
get the hell off this site you paypig
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
chris was born to a post-menopausal woman with terrible genes and never get exercise. his body produces more estrogen than normal and probably has more genetic defects than the average person, it literally isn't his fault he's slightly overweight. you're all nothing but a bunch of snooty little manchildren who just looks for the easiest most obvious target on someone and goes hog-wild while never actually analyzing someone enough to offer constructive criticism of their lifestyles. it's fucking amazing i even log in to this shitty website anymore, i may as well browse reddit.
That's just "fluff" to set the scene. Chris' weight and body type don't matter to make him into a PC.

RE: Actual criticism of Chris' body; he clearly has a high metabolism and could drop weight if he weren't sedentary. Between autism and other defects he's screwed as far as adding muscle mass is concerned, but that doesn't mean he couldn't be strong if he was more active. It's called "being wiry",
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
Does 8 str seem reasonable when the failure to do a pullup is taken into account? I used to have a bunch of dnd pdfs because I liked the lore but the mechanics never interested me.
Remember, STR is a person's OVERALL strength. The particular form Chris tried to use to do those pull-ups relies on a lot of strength in your lat muscles. Plus, Chris weighed more than 80lbs at the time and still does today.

Nobody is naturally overweight. Calories in, calories out you pleb.
Hormone imbalances can make you overweight regardless of what you eat. Chris also suffers from hypotonia, making it harder for him to lose weight as he cannot build muscle easily. However, the fact that he is as slender as he is indicates an incredibly high metabolism, making Chris luck out into breaking even.
 

The Fool

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That's just "fluff" to set the scene. Chris' weight and body type don't matter to make him into a PC.

RE: Actual criticism of Chris' body; he clearly has a high metabolism and could drop weight if he weren't sedentary. Between autism and other defects he's screwed as far as adding muscle mass is concerned, but that doesn't mean he couldn't be strong if he was more active. It's called "being wiry",
Nobody is naturally overweight. Calories in, calories out you pleb.
you fucking 18th century medical science neanderthals think it's so easy for chris in his current state to just pick up a barbell and start pumping iron like it's a fucking video game. ever think about his diet? his lifestyle? that maybe psychological issues need to be covered before physical ones? no of course not because you all think exercise and physical health are just points to be collected and you have to treat those with less points like an outcast like you're playing fucking fortnite. you're pathetic.
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
you fucking 18th century medical science neanderthals think it's so easy for chris in his current state to just pick up a barbell and start pumping iron like it's a fucking video game. ever think about his diet? his lifestyle? that maybe psychological issues need to be covered before physical ones? no of course not because you all think exercise and physical health are just points to be collected and you have to treat those with less points like an outcast like you're playing fucking fortnite. you're pathetic.
Lifestyle. Ahem: "sedentary".

And this isn't about criticizing the real CWC. Just making a character based upon him.
 

Argh My Cigar

You like grilled cheese?
kiwifarms.net
you fucking 18th century medical science neanderthals think it's so easy for chris in his current state to just pick up a barbell and start pumping iron like it's a fucking video game. ever think about his diet? his lifestyle? that maybe psychological issues need to be covered before physical ones? no of course not because you all think exercise and physical health are just points to be collected and you have to treat those with less points like an outcast like you're playing fucking fortnite. you're pathetic.
There’s truth to this. People are born with varying body types. Ectomorphs are those tall lanklets who can eat twelve rounds of Taco Bell every day and not gain a pound, at the cost of being unable to pack on muscle mass easily. Endomorphs are those short/average height, sometimes stout people who gain weight easily but can build muscle mass just as much (provided exercise/a non-sedentary lifestyle is involved. Ever notice how overweight people have sturdy leg muscles?). Mesomorphs are that genetic sweet spot where you both burn fat and gain muscle mass pretty easily.

Still I don’t think Chris has any particular genetic defects outside of the usual variables most people are born with. His age is probably the major limiting factor that he can’t control— he’s middle aged and definitely can’t lose weight or gain muscle as easily as he could’ve in his 20s.
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
There’s truth to this. People are born with varying body types. Ectomorphs are those tall lanklets who can eat twelve rounds of Taco Bell every day and not gain a pound, at the cost of being unable to pack on muscle mass easily. Endomorphs are those short/average height, sometimes stout people who gain weight easily but can build muscle mass just as easily (provided exercise/a non-sedentary lifestyle is involved. Ever notice how overweight people have sturdy leg muscles?). Mesomorphs are that genetic sweet spot where you both burn fat and gain muscle mass pretty easily.

Still I don’t think Chris has any particular genetic defects outside of the usual variables most people are born with. His age is probably the major limiting factor that he can’t control— he’s middle aged and definitely can’t lose weight or gain muscle as easily as he could’ve in his 20s.
Hypotonia is a common symptom associated with autism. And a general inability to develop muscle mass has a negative impact on weight loss.
 

Argh My Cigar

You like grilled cheese?
kiwifarms.net
Hypotonia is a common symptom associated with autism. And a general inability to develop muscle mass has a negative impact on weight loss.
Hypotonia isn’t a specific disorder, it’s the result of a handful of underlying issues, mainly neurological and involving the spine. Correlation doesn’t equal causation, and it only affects about 30% of people on the autism spectrum anyway.

The simplest answer is usually the most likely: shitty diet, lack of protein, too many processed meals, sedentary lifestyle brought about by shitty habits enabled by his equally shitty mother.
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
Hypotonia isn’t a specific disorder, it’s the result of a handful of underlying issues, mainly neurological and involving the spine. Correlation doesn’t equal causation, and it only affects about 30% of people on the autism spectrum anyway.

The simplest answer is usually the most likely: shitty diet, lack of protein, too many processed meals, sedentary lifestyle brought about by shitty habits enabled by his equally shitty mother.
Chris is a good candidate for hypotonia, though. We've seen him stand for long times in lines and walk around for hours at cons and other events. His legs should be chonkier than they are.

Lifestyle certainly got him where he is, but I don't think he could work his way out quite as easily as most people.