On a homeless man and his situation, what do? - Homeless being abused and no one will help. What can be done here?

[Maiden-TieJuan]

There is a really sweet homeless guy around where I work. Call him Jeff. He is about 24 25, I guess? From Florida, been homeless since he was 15 he says. Abusive parents. He comes into my work, always says "Thank you ma'am, bless you ma'am, how are the kids maam?" And is generally a great guy. When I get off work he is always waiting to walk me to my car, because it isn't the best area to be in. He has chased guys away from breaking into my car before, and doesn't expect anything from me. I give him PBandJ's every once in a while, because he doesn't eat much. Well, I found out where he gets the bulk of his money from.

I was watching on the security cameras as he walked up to another local homeless guy. This other guy, Leo, is a real asshole. Calls me nigger(I am white as hell) and who're and bitch, and isn't allowed in the store anymore because of it. Well, he started to hold out money to Jeff, and pointing at the wall of the store. First Jeff shook his head no, then took the money nd walked away a bit. Then, no shit, turned and ran head first at speed into the brick wall right behind where I was standing. Literally knocked himself unconscious. I freaked! I could hear his head hit the wall thru the thick brick, it was so hard! I ran out of the store and yelled at Leo "What are you doing you sick old fuck?" He mumbled and cussed and walked off laughing. A couple of Jeff's friends and fellow homeless dude's came up and said " this happens a ,ot. They pay him to hurt himself so they can laugh at him. He'll be fine." They got him up and walked him off.

I was seriously pissed off and sad. I called the cops, showed them the tspe, exp.ained what happened. They are familiar with Jeff's situation, but said "we can't do anything. They move around too much to even prosecute them correctly." I called Adult Services. When they heard he was homeless they hung up after telling me "They don't WANT help. You'll learn." When Jeff came in later that week, he had a huge scab where he broke the skin, and when I tasked him about it he began crying and said "Don't worry about me ma'am. I ain't worth it."

What can I do? None of the shelters can help with this. The cops WONT HELP. Adult Services won't help. Other homeless can't or won't help. I feel so bad for the kid, because he is smart as a whip (we were ta.king about black holes and alternate realities, and he had some great theories) and polite and I really hurts my Mommy heart to see a kid like this being so abused. Now when I see him, I have started noticing more and more bruises and scabs, and realized he was always showing up with them, I was only now notici g them and putting 2 and 2 together.

Kiwis. What do?

 

[300mm]

Tough situation for sure. Do you know if he's able to hold a job at all?

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

Tough situation for sure. Do you know if he's able to hold a job at all?

He works odd jobs under the table for local businesses. From what I have heard from one of his friends, he sends money every month to someone via western union. He also smokes pot, some of his money goes there. He doesn't drink at all, he is VERY against alcohol of any type. We even argued over whether or not cooking with beer left any alcohol in your bloodstream, and he is even against cooking with it. His explanation was "heh, my dad was a drunk....." When I asked why he felt that way.

I just....don't know what to do for the poor guy. I know 80% of homeless stories are all hot stinky air, but this kid is just . . . . . Different. You would have to meet him to see it.

 

[mate]

Is he black?

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

Leo, the guy who calls me nigger and paid him to run into the wall , is black.

Jeff is white.

 

[BerriesArnold]

First off, and this is going to sound fucked up, but you need to realize that you have no fault or obligation towards this guy. It's ok to feel pity and empathy towards his situation, but don't put yourself in harm's way just to help a guy out. If something were to happen to him, don't feel that you are in any way guilty.

Now second of all, if this kid is accepting money to run into walls, he is not exactly the brightest bulb in the basket. Sounds like he may have a few screws loose and has taken a liking to you in particular since you show him pity. Is there a local YMCA or community recreational area that could help him out? This kid needs to find anything to sustain him. A part-time job anywhere doing menial labor is a good place to start. Sweeping, cleaning, greeting, stocking etc...

My point is, he needs an entry of money of some kind from his own efforts. Not just a quick gofundme campaign. With the small bit of money coming in, he can look for a room to rent somewhere and slowly build his life up. With just $1,000 coming in a month, he can barely rent a room in FL. I will repeat. Do not feel obligated or guilty for not helping this kid out. If you feel like helping in any way, then it's all on you. Good luck and keep up updated.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I guess when your life is shit, you want to spread the wealth.

That sucks, but I'm not quite sure what you can do about it. It sort of similar to "America's Funniest Home Videos". Those people sometimes intentionally filmed themselves doing painful things in hopes of a $10,000 payday.

I guess you could talk to Jeff, but I doubt you'd be able to get through to him.

Either way, good luck.

 

[QU 734]

That's really rough. Years ago, I knew a guy who was similar.

Spoiler: Spoilers for blogpost

Let's call him Mike, because that's his name. In his 20s, homeless since 13 after his dad died and step-mom gave him the boot, no noticeable mental illness, just shitty circumstances. He just didn't know any other way of doing things and homelessness tends to limit one's options.

There was a shelter he could have slept at, but it was full of schizos and junkies and he wasn't having that shit, so he camped innawoods with a tarp and a bunch of blankets. He'd do odd jobs for ridiculously little pay to eat. Didn't drink or use drugs that I was ever aware of.

After getting to know him and his story, I ended up taking him to social services to get him on food stamps, gave him an old 10-speed bike, bought him a bivouac tent and some camping gear so he could cook, sleep more comfortably, keep cleaner, etc.

After some pestering, I got a guy who ran a bar I knew to give him odd jobs when they came up and I'd have him mow my lawn or paint my fence or what have you.

We had a conversation at one point where Mike revealed he wanted to be an electrician because his dad was one up until he died.

So I contact social services again and see if there's a job program or something he can get into. Of course there's not, because fuck people who actually want to better their situations.

So to make a long story short, I put up some cash, we crammed for his GED and got him into trade school and I moved him into a detached carport I'd enclosed, intending to use it for storage.

To make a long story slightly less long, he had an apprenticeship several months later, started making pretty good money, eventually got a car and moved out of my place into an apartment, and last I heard was a Journeyman and doing quite well.

As for what to do, if you think the dude's salvageable, do what you can.

Edit: to be fair to the state, they did pay for the GED testing.

 

[Prussian Blue]

Probably not much help, but I was in a similar situation that I can share.

Where I work there are plenty homeless around, and nearly all of them are junkies or foreigners that don't get my sympathy much. Anyway there was a homeless chap, lets call him Jeff, that used to sit outside a small cinema I frequented. I'd give him a cigarette or a cup of coffee and he would let me know what films were any good (It was a cheap theatre and he went to see movies constantly for warmth and entertainment.)

Flash forward a few years and I'm managing a small store nearby, I spotted him shaking and clinging to a wall, clearly out of his mind, I get him to sit down and got him some water to try and calm him down. I shouldn't have involved myself, I knew next to nothing about this man, but I had always seen him sober, polite and friendly. Once he eventually calmed down, he said some teens had rolled a cigarette to give him but it was spiked with one of those legal highs that were all the rage. He had also had a rough time recently, with other homeless attacking him for his "lucrative spot", causing him to move position and miss curfew for the shelter, forcing him to sleep rough. After this we sort of bonded, I told him to beg across the street from my store and I'd give him a smoke and some spare change to catch a movie to keep me updated now and then. I learned his back story, abuse from his dad made him flee home in his early teens, he didn't have much education and struggled to find accommodation/work and life had just spiralled down further as he got older.

I knew I couldn't get really help him or get involved too much, but I did try a little. I'd get him to go get lunch or a paper and give him change or a bite to eat for doing so. A couple of times I even had him watch the store for a few minutes while I nipped out back for a smoke, never stole or touched anything either.

He stopped appearing outside the store and I assumed he had moved on somewhere else and that I'd bump into him again, have a smoke and ask him what was currently on at the cinema but alas, I found out a few months later he died of hypothermia.

So I guess the point of this story is it's probably impossible to 'save' him, but by lessening the hardships slightly, you can at least provide moments of respite for the poor guy.

 

[PantsFreeZone]

You could setup a homeless MMA training area, design a regimen and then have them fight, videotape it and put it on YouTube then give the bums the money earned.

What? It worked for Kimbo Slice.

 

[Dial M for Misgender]

Cover the wall with yoga mats.

 

[QU 734]

I dunno about MMA, Jeff sounds like he might have a glass jaw.

 

[Piss Clam]

You can't help him unless he wants to help himself.

What you can do is get him food stamps and medicaid. He just needs an address which you could supply. It depends on your State though.

In my State you just had to show up and you would get food stamps. Just sign the forms indicating you had no assets, or if you do then you declare them like a car or bank account.

If you want to help then you have to go to DHHR (Department of health and human resources, or whatever it is called in your state), not adult services.

All these things are really different depending on your State. I've helped a few people driving them down to apply and the process was pretty simple.

Your State probably has a web page that you can look up and he could even apply via the website.

 

[ES 148]

If it were only a year or so ago he could just say 'my name jeff' and thousands of children would shower him with money

Ofc he isn't actually called Jeff so I guess that's my store of ideas exhausted

 

[Secret Asshole]

I come from a city with a lot of homeless and I have a lot of experience dealing with them. Be extremely, EXTREMELY careful with what you do for him and how much access you allow him to your life. A lot of homeless are very, very manipulative and there are more than a few who are expert con artists. The best ones produce real looking documents and work with others to scope out their marks. Even if you don't have all that much. They see that you're emotionally sensitive and they will 100% exploit that. It also isn't out of the question that he's working with a group, to emotionally exploit your kinder nature.

Their stories often feel authentic and they're really good at reeling people in. I met a con who cried that he was just released from prison, literally sobbing, and had papers from a prison I can't mention without powerleveling. He was in one main station. A few years later I was traveling from another big station and I found him pulling the same con. I've seen the shitty ones ("Let me borrow your phone" - The old classic, equivalent of "Do you have the confidence of lending me your watch?" which is where the term con-man came from, to the obvious - "I don't have enough money for the train." To the expository, like the prison story or someone who was just looking for a job and needed some money for lunch or to buy a cheap burner. And to the long con of fake job services to pull you in).

You can't know who he is or his story or believe what you see. Con men are some of the most empathetic people on Earth. The can read your face, your body language and know what will and will not work. He's not overtly mentally ill, is not a junkie, is not an addict, can work, is not disabled o1r does not have a disease. These are HUGE warning signs. A large portion of homeless you see are addicts, disabled or severely mentally ill. Those are the chronic homeless. The acute homeless or working homeless you typically don't see because they move around from job to job and typically live in temporary housing, which is why they have no permanent address and find it hard to get a job. A very small slice like the lifestyle and the freedom it gives them. But these you won't typically encounter, because they're more the classic drifter type and frequently don't beg.

The type of homeless you're describing is rare in and of itself, which is why I caution you to be careful with what you do and how much you expose yourself. Don't display any overt signs of wealth, let him know where you live. He knows where you work so he can gauge how much money you make. Again, its not like the movies where they go after the rich. They go after marks they know they can get to and emotionally manipulate. I'm not saying you're naive, its kindness and generosity conmen exploit.

I'm not heartless, being homeless is one of my biggest fears. But the fact is, this smells wrong to me. Comes from living in big cities. Once again, I urge you to be extremely careful with what you do. Then again, I'm a misanthrope and I don't trust anybody worth a fuck. I hope I'm wrong.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

I'm going to reiterate what others have said and suggest that you be careful with not letting your empathy get the best of your judgement (however good it may be).

I would advise you to think very hard about how well you really know Jeff. Has he said anything about himself that is contradictory? Is there something about him that appears contradictory? This latter question seems especially important to me because on the one hand you say that he is very intelligent (to the point of being able to formulate convincing theories on black holes and alternative realities), yet on the other, you say that he is taking money from his fellow homeless people to smash his head into a wall (something an intelligent person wouldn't do, unless, perhaps, they were trying to manipulate surrounding observers into thinking that they were a vulnerable and easily manipulated victim of their own intellectual deficiencies).

I couldn't say what I think is going on here, but if I were you, I would point him in the direction of whatever organization may be able to help, and offer to go along with him if you feel you must. If he chooses not to accept such help, then you shouldn't lose any sleep over it. As far as you should be concerned, you did what you could.

 

[Commander Keen]

I come from a city with a lot of homeless and I have a lot of experience dealing with them. Be extremely, EXTREMELY careful with what you do for him and how much access you allow him to your life. A lot of homeless are very, very manipulative and there are more than a few who are expert con artists. The best ones produce real looking documents and work with others to scope out their marks. Even if you don't have all that much. They see that you're emotionally sensitive and they will 100% exploit that. It also isn't out of the question that he's working with a group, to emotionally exploit your kinder nature.

Their stories often feel authentic and they're really good at reeling people in. I met a con who cried that he was just released from prison, literally sobbing, and had papers from a prison I can't mention without powerleveling. He was in one main station. A few years later I was traveling from another big station and I found him pulling the same con. I've seen the shitty ones ("Let me borrow your phone" - The old classic, equivalent of "Do you have the confidence of lending me your watch?" which is where the term con-man came from, to the obvious - "I don't have enough money for the train." To the expository, like the prison story or someone who was just looking for a job and needed some money for lunch or to buy a cheap burner. And to the long con of fake job services to pull you in).

You can't know who he is or his story or believe what you see. Con men are some of the most empathetic people on Earth. The can read your face, your body language and know what will and will not work. He's not overtly mentally ill, is not a junkie, is not an addict, can work, is not disabled o1r does not have a disease. These are HUGE warning signs. A large portion of homeless you see are addicts, disabled or severely mentally ill. Those are the chronic homeless. The acute homeless or working homeless you typically don't see because they move around from job to job and typically live in temporary housing, which is why they have no permanent address and find it hard to get a job. A very small slice like the lifestyle and the freedom it gives them. But these you won't typically encounter, because they're more the classic drifter type and frequently don't beg.

The type of homeless you're describing is rare in and of itself, which is why I caution you to be careful with what you do and how much you expose yourself. Don't display any overt signs of wealth, let him know where you live. He knows where you work so he can gauge how much money you make. Again, its not like the movies where they go after the rich. They go after marks they know they can get to and emotionally manipulate. I'm not saying you're naive, its kindness and generosity conmen exploit.

I'm not heartless, being homeless is one of my biggest fears. But the fact is, this smells wrong to me. Comes from living in big cities. Once again, I urge you to be extremely careful with what you do. Then again, I'm a misanthrope and I don't trust anybody worth a fuck. I hope I'm wrong.

As a dissenting voice, when I flirted with homeless (very briefly during college) and was borderline transient, the people I came across who were homeless were mentally ill and unable to do much of anything except be homeless.

Problem when you're mentally ill is that treatment requires you to be in a certain place at a certain time and getting the correct assistance isn't a one-visit thing. It took me ten years before my epilepsy was treated to an acceptable level and allowed me to function in society.

When you hear stories on the web from eloquent authors who discuss their period of homelessness, it's usually one of two stories being told. They made an insanely stupid decision regarding school or employment and didn't have the cash to make it work or they were batshit crazy but had a social network (family, friends, partners) who helped them get effective treatment.

That's how you beat homelessness and, I'm sorry, but OP isn't able to help. OP is saddened by this sight, but they are not qualified to help. They shouldn't beat themselves up over that, either, it's not easy and just giving a homeless person a few bucks or some food is never going to get them out of the situation.

So, OP, if you want to shell out the cash for multiple mental health visits and provide this person with money for clothes and a place to shower and shave after you have paid for their medication and whatever else they need to even out and then paid for...well, you get the idea. There's a limit to what a private person can do to life a stranger out of homelessness.

 

[Globe]

idk, he sounds like a nice guy but even decent people can have a few screws loose that make any attempt to help a zero-sum game. If I were going to do anything at all, i'd start by finding out who he's wiring money to and why, because that's the weirdest part of his situation. He's homeless and from the sounds of it, he can't even always afford to feed himself, I can't imagine who in his life would need the money more than him.

 

[QB 290]

Maybe it's a bit heartless to suggest, but Jeff has to deal with this himself. Any battle worth fighting is worth fighting is worth fighting alone and even if he is homeless and alone, that only gives him less to lose.
@Secret Asshole is also right in that homeless people feed off sympathy and lies, praying on anyone with a concious and profiting from their mistakes. The safest thing for you, as in @Maiden-TieJuan is to stay far away from this problem and divorce yourself from any fallout knowing Jeff may cause you.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

You can't help him unless he wants to help himself.

What you can do is get him food stamps and medicaid. He just needs an address which you could supply. It depends on your State though.

In my State you just had to show up and you would get food stamps. Just sign the forms indicating you had no assets, or if you do then you declare them like a car or bank account.

If you want to help then you have to go to DHHR (Department of health and human resources, or whatever it is called in your state), not adult services.

All these things are really different depending on your State. I've helped a few people driving them down to apply and the process was pretty simple.

Your State probably has a web page that you can look up and he could even apply via the website.

I would also add the Salvation Army to the list. Get in contact with them and see what they can do to help. Their whole basis for existing is pretty much helping people like Jeff. Be his advocate and help him get into their transitional housing and support program.