Kiwi Farms

With the passing of David Rockefeller and Trump's pro-USA policies, we're seeing a number of interests in alignment that point back to one thing: a Pre-Industrial isolationist America, as we saw during the 20th century, as opposed to a New World Order leader creating superstates and intervening in costly foreign wars. Iraq, Ukraine, Syria, Afghanistan - it all boils down to modern colonialism, a post-industrial colonialism; as we explain in our book Splitting Pennies.

Pulling back our troops from the middle east, closing the majority of military bases in the world like those in Germany and hundreds of other places, will leave our soldiers with little to do - putting them on the streets to fight gangs is not practical (especially with the high instances of gang members enlisted in the US Army already). Logically, there's one best solution - 'as a practical matter' that means the 'best bang for the buck' - INVADE CANADA. It's not our idea. Take a look at this site, it's been up for a long time: http://invadecanada.us/

You know if it wasn't for Benedict Arnold (Yup, the traitor of later) losing a key battle in the Revolutionary War, Canada would probably be a part of the U.S. (But much like New Jersey, we probably wouldn't want it).


Reasons to invade Canada, instead of Syria:

• More convenient. Canada is one of two countries where the US could stage a real tank invasion, like Hitler did "Blitzkrieg" America could have "BlingBling" and just roll over their non-existant border
• Spoils of war. Canada has it all! Gold, oil, trees, minerals, coal - name it.
• Canada may as well be part of US. Who are Canadians? They are the jerks that didn't want to leave the cozy British Empire.
• They speak English (although poorly).
• Probably will not put up a fight.
• Common currency system - "Loonie" can be easily absorbed into USD. All of Canada can be 1 Fed district.
• Although USA has invaded hundreds of countries mostly illegally - there's only ONE COUNTRY in the WORLD other than the BRITISH that has ever INVADED USA's borders - and that country is CANADA. In fact, they nearly burnt the white house down to the ground. Read about it here.

You think it's nuts? Think again:

This Is the War Plan America Will Use When It Invades Canada | The National Interest Blog

What Would Happen in the Minutes and Hours After the US Invaded Canada? - VICE

Revealed: America's Secret War Plan to Invade Canada | The National Interest

And practically, while we're looking in caves for Terrorist camps, Canada is probably harboring more terrorists than anyone would care to admit. With their security lacking 'free love' policies on immigration, anyone who can't get into the US, goes to Canada. We all know it.

It's time for our military planners to step up and take action. Canada, you're next. And hopefully, the last and only. Mexico can remain behind Trump's wall.

CANADA: THE REAL 51ST STATE

To learn how the Global Elite manipulate financial markets that ultimately make or break COUNTRIES - checkout Splitting Pennies - (read: Splitting Dendrites) a real mind opener. Re Route your Axons. Pick up a copy today!

Why invade Canada?

It's been done before
(And we're not just talking about those South Park kids or John Candy.)

You know if it wasn't for Benedict Arnold (Yup, the traitor of later) losing a key battle in the Revolutionary War, Canada would probably be a part of the U.S. (But much like New Jersey, we probably wouldn't want it).

Canada Has Stuff!
First off, let's make Alaska actually connected to the U.S. again! Those Alaskan folks are always getting screwed by not being part of the "continental 48 states". Let's give them a nice little bridge downstairs. A little bit of farmland never hurt anything either, but forget the permafrost part. Canada is the second largest country in the world; let's fix that.

If Christmas ever fails to come, the Canucks did it
The magnetic north pole is within the Canadian border. We must protect Santa Claus!

They're just a little too proud
Perhaps if they didn't think it was so cool to live in "Diet America" we wouldn't need to invade them, but with people like this guy and these people thinking that Canada is the coolest thing since sliced bread, we need to do our part to keep them in their place. There's a reason the continent is called "North America" and not "North Canada".

They stole our basketball teams
Since when does the "N.B.A." stand for "Canadians Can Play Too". We need to get Vancouver and Toronto annexed into America to preserve the "N".

They don't play nicely with each other
There has been a secessionist movement for years. Quebec doesn't like other Canadians, and the feeling is pretty much mutual. We don't have that in the U.S... you know, there aren't any (Texas) big states (Texas) that think that they're better (Texas) than the rest of the Union (Texas).

It's possible
Why go to the moon? Because it's there. Same with Canada, it's just colder than the moon.

How To Invade Canada?

However you want!
With the world's longest undefended border betwixt us, you've got a lot of options of where to cross!

They want to make it easy for us
The border is wide open, with usually less than a 10 minute wait at the border. But if you have a pot-luck dinner in the evening and need to be home early, the Canadian government is nice enough to keep us up to the minute with the wait times here so you can pack your panzer and move on out!

The paths that we'll need to take:
There will be four teams (Quite possibly Little League Teams if they don't already have a game scheduled that weekend) that will move into Canada using a system of "roads" and "railways". By spreading out, they can attack the most important part of Canada: Beavers. The Beaver defense network is vast, but not insurmountable. After turning them into warm yet stylish hats, the little leaguers will continue on by using the paths below:



Now you're probably wondering why not a five-pronged attack from the North as well?

We're letting Canada keep the North. It will from now on be known as the smaller version of Canada, "Canadi" (Pronounced "Canadee"). The plan for the new border is below:



Let's not forget their defense force is somewhat less than credible...

America Canada
Armed Forces Budget: $276,700,000,000 $7,861,000,000
Manpower: 73,597,731 7,158,016
Best Ground Weapon: M-1 Abrams Tank "Mounties"
Military Hero: Gen. MacArthur Dudley Do-Right
Patriotic Music: Lee Greenwood Celine Dion
Backbone: Fully Developed Missing
Secret Weapon: Stealth Technology Rabid Beavers
National Symbol: Our Flag. On everything. Their Flag. On everything.

Or the new national symbol.

The surrender will come quickly, they're French after all...
Let's not foget that not only do they speak French but a lot of them are. We should see white flags before we even leave home!

Aftermath
Welcome our funny-sounding countrymen!
Now that Canadi is created, and the U.S. has taken on another state (We suggest calling it "Canada" just to piss of the Canadies that still remember their old country), we'll have a really big party. Quebec can hang out with the South, since they both have this nasty little secession gene apparently; and we'll let Toronto re-unite with Seattle live on Oprah.

And finally, just for good measure, it's ZEE, no "Zed". Also know as, THE END.