Our Pet Lolcow vs. Nick Bravo -

[LordCustos3]

How does OPL stack up against another notorious internet lolcow, namely Ryan "Corky" Fenster, aka "Nick Bravo".
(https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Nick_Bravo)

I mean, both OPL and Corky have just the right mixture of self-inflicted fail, unwarranted egotism, entitlement issues, hot-and-cold running 'tardrage and space-case worldviews.
What separates Corky and OPL from many of the other more vile lolcows (Brett Keane, VenomFangX and JDubs for example) is that underneath the childishness, ingratitude and borderline psychosis....is someone you want to root for. An underdog with a dream.

Similarities:

• :arrow: Both have dreams of artistic stardom, that their (inferior to non-existent) talents can never realize.
  :arrow: Both believe they are mystics able to tap into supernatural forces, and routinely lay "curses" on their "foes".
  :arrow: Both blame all of their failures on a conspiracy of trolls; and blames a random bystander (Mike Snyder, HappyCabbie) as being a mastermind or ringleader.
  :arrow: Both are/have been on disability/welfare/the dole....and they STILL think everyone else owes them a living.
  :arrow: Both have made statements in the past that could paint them as racist, sexist or pedophiles.
  :arrow: Both have The Creepy Stare, and Corky even uses The Claw of Fail mannerism occasionally.
  :arrow: Both have received free laptops from their fans....and both accused the fans of being treacherous trolls and claiming the laptops were boobytrapped.
  :arrow: Both make YouTube vids that alternate between non-sequitir laden ramblings and hate-filled death-threats.
  :arrow: Both RAEGQUIT from YouTube when the "haters" outnumbered the "fans" by 10:1
  :arrow: Both keeps "quitting da innernet forevah" only to come crawling back 24-48 hours later.

Differences:

• :arrow: Corky isn't a shut-in....he doesn't even have a house to be shut-into.
  :arrow: Corky has much better hygiene; and he -- as far as I know -- doesn't randomly shit himself.
  :arrow: Corky ran for public office in the real world rather than in cartoon fantasyland.

So....with that in mind....
Lets run these two up a flagpole and see whole salutes.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, that match up would be a match up that the Hulkster would want to see. While Corky would obviously have the physical and mental fortitude to defeat Chris, but Chris has Barb in his corner ready with the steel chair. The Hulkster would imagine Corky would win via disqualificiation, man.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

At least Chris is funny. Corky is just a JERK.

Honestly, Corky has a much better chance of reforming himself. He just needs to realize he isn't going to write any movies and needs to get a real job.

 

[regularjohn]

I stand by my statement that chris is the only lolcow for me because he is the only one that doesnt make cringe in pain when I see him do stupid stuff because I know exactly why everything he does is his fault. Not only that, but everything he does is a spectacular failure. Also, Chris, I feel, wouldnt be that much of a pain to talk to, as opposed to this guy, who I think would get annoying real fast.

 

[LordCustos3]

Playing Devils Advocate.

I stand by my statement that chris is the only lolcow for me because he is the only one that doesnt make cringe in pain when I see him do stupid stuff because I know exactly why everything he does is his fault. Not only that, but everything he does is a spectacular failure.

I think the major difference here is that Corky desires what he wants more intensely, but can't figure out how to implement his impossible schemes.
Da Chris'tard doesn't even seem to know what he wants anymore, much less care.

Also, Chris, I feel, wouldnt be that much of a pain to talk to, as opposed to this guy, who I think would get annoying real fast.

Well, they both have speech impediments....if that is what you mean.
But Corky has more on his mind than just vidya, pokemon and da trolls....so I suspect (if you can acclimatize yourself to his impediment) he would actually be LESS of a pain to talk to. Sure, they would both become insufferable....but Corky has a broader and more eclectic knowledge base, and talking with him would become boring after, say, the 20 minute mark; whereas Chris'tard would become dull almost instantaneously.
OPL's interests are not only ultra-narrow, but he can't seem to articulate them in an entertaining or engaging fashion.
(Granted, considering how the average Chris'tard video is ~90 seconds long, and the average ChristBravo video can go on for more than 5 minutes, we can see which one wears out his welcome faster.)

Also, side note, regarding their attempts to "Master the Supernatural" :
Corky seems to want to be the next Alasteir Crowley.
Da Chris'tard wants to be....Son Goku.
I can't tell which of these aspie-rations is awesome and which one is pathetic.

Discuss.

 

[Yawning Squirtle]

I stand by my statement that chris is the only lolcow for me because he is the only one that doesnt make cringe in pain when I see him do stupid stuff because I know exactly why everything he does is his fault. Not only that, but everything he does is a spectacular failure. Also, Chris, I feel, wouldnt be that much of a pain to talk to, as opposed to this guy, who I think would get annoying real fast.

Yeah, he's the only lolcow for me too, but for different reasons.

CWC took lolcow to the extreme Plus, his wiki is the most complete and entertaining of all websites ever created for lolcows (maybe one of the most entertaining things on the web, actually; albeit not one of the most productive or useful ). He just crushes the competition, man.