Our Standards - It seems that everyone isn’t perfect, no shit

[Masta]

Ok, so I was watching a YouTube video about a woman, who got other women matched with men, and her established point was that too many of her clients (women in their late twenties, thirties, and forties) standards for men were way too high. Like they had to have a six figures job, six foot tall, have hair, no kids, had to be outspoken with their feelings, and the list goes on. She said her clients had these standards, however these women themselves werent really all that, they too were out of shape, had kids, not a six figures job, etc. so they need to think realistically.

So, I was thinking, she’s probably right, even though I’m not in her age demographic, instead I’m in the late teens to early twenties. I can see her point even then. I can see this happening, not just a women thing, but for guys too, who are incels, who set the bar so high no one can realistically meet it.

How did we get to this point?
Is there any hope for these people, like what’s the future going to be like?

 

[Pixy]

Is there any hope for these people, like what’s the future going to be like?

That's where the internet comes in. To knock these people down a peg and tell them they aren't special.

 

[The Fool]

Everyone has high standards. This is a natural impulse. Imagine your dream partner. Who are they? Are you imagining a handsome, rich, faceless golem with no personality? That's what most people visualize as a perfect partner, more or less.
There's no such thing as a "perfect partner", like there's no such thing as the "ultimate joke". These things are contextual, they depend on your environment. You'd be happiest with a partner who understands you, and you understand them, you share a lot of opinions but can still have friendly disagreements. I guess a good example would be like, Jim Halpert versus Michael Scott. Mike sounds good on paper, regional manager of a company and all that. But Jim is obviously far more charismatic and competent as a person, and thats why he ends up with a wife where Mike doesn't. Everyone has some bland, unobtainable standards for a partner, until they meet the right person and then forget about every single requirement they ever had. Real-life interaction with a person beats an imaginary prince charming every time.

 

[Tim Buckley]

Maybe its because I'm a gross narcissist but my high standards are for myself only and to be fair I'm really not picky at all regarding who I chose to fornicate with.

Perhaps having an unhealthy obsession with one's own apparence mitigates the bratty fixation on arbitrary traits for a partner and vice-versa, ugly ass abominations with absolute zero self-consciousness are natural with the idea that they're entitled to only fuck perfection.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Part of it can be blamed on showbiz which popularized the ideas of "insecure plain Jane gets to have <handsome actor>" and "useless bumbling man-child gets to have <hot actress>".
Most, if not all old folk tales of the youngest son getting the princess and half of the kingdom were fabricated to placate youngest sons who wouldn't inherit shit when their parents passed away. They shouldn't have been taken seriously.

 

[peanus weenus]

That's where the internet comes in. To knock these people down a peg and tell them they aren't special.

Lmao the internet echo chambers do the exact opposite to their egos.

 

[Bumblino]

I mean even if they have super-high standards can you really force yourself to be with someone you find disgusting? I get what you're saying but to their eyes that's what's "acceptable" so anything below that is not okay. I don't know if they talk about dream scenarios when they speak about standards and they're willing to let go of some of them but when I say "standard" is simply "less than this is not acceptable at all" so I understand how people cannot let go of their standards. At some point you gotta ask yourself too if it's even worth it to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone despite that someone being the kind of person you can't stand.

 

[SSF2T Old User]

Ok, so I was watching a YouTube video about a woman, who got other women matched with men, and her established point was that too many of her clients (women in their late twenties, thirties, and forties) standards for men were way too high. Like they had to have a six figures job, six foot tall, have hair, no kids, had to be outspoken with their feelings, and the list goes on. She said her clients had these standards, however these women themselves werent really all that, they too were out of shape, had kids, not a six figures job, etc. so they need to think realistically.

I've been saying this for YEARS, but everyone outside the internet thought I was nuts. It only took about 5 years for everyone around me to go "oh shit, you were right, it really IS that bad out there", especially when they heard stories from other single guys that we knew (friends/relatives)

All you have to do is create an online dating profile and browse the thousands and thousands of profiles that outright say these exact same things. And there is no compromise, it has to be all or nothing... these people have never heard of "middle ground" before. I'm lucky that I've had the relationships that I had because each year it gets WORSE and harder for a man, even the straight-laced ones with no skeletons in their closet.

So, I was thinking, she’s probably right, even though I’m not in her age demographic, instead I’m in the late teens to early twenties. I can see her point even then. I can see this happening, not just a women thing, but for guys too, who are incels, who set the bar so high no one can realistically meet it.

Not to defend incels, but you can blame modern feminism for that. They are the cause and effect of everything that's going on between men and women socially. Modern feminism has not only brainwashed women into thinking one way, but they also bash the ever-loving fuck out of men in general. Doesn't matter what kind of buy he is personality-wise, if you have a penis, you are the root of all evil and must be punished for things that you had absolutely nothing to do with, even going so far as citing the monster from forever ago.

Is there any hope for these people, like what’s the future going to be like?

BOTH sexes need to take a good hard look at themselves in the mirror and get their shit together otherwise the dating scene will become more shit than it already is. Both of them need to build up their self-esteem, take responsibility for their actions, and come back to reality. They need to get over the past and focus on the future. They need to quit it with the "guilty until proven innocent" lifestyle and realize not everyone is out to hurt them.

Women specifically need to realize that they too need to put in just as much effort as a man if they want to find that special someone because dating is a 2-way street.

 

[guffrey__]

Pop culture and all these corporations peddling the message that "you're special" and "you have no flaws" have basically shot peoples' appropriate expectations for a sexual partner.

 

[Red Hood]

People realize there's not an infinite supply of good looking dudes with huge incomes, right? There is only ONE of me, ladies. Take a number.

But seriously, if it's a crowded market you need to put in the work. Needy hamplanets typically aren't the first choice of dudes with decent paychecks and fitness levels. Chris Hemsworth might be in a movie with Melissa McCarthy but he ain't banging her.

If women are shallow enough to consider a 6'0 guy but not 5'10, it's their own damn fault they can't find a man. Putting arbitrary standards on attraction is weird. I mean no, I'm not gonna feel eager to get down with someone with track marks or a fupa, but I'm also not going to put in a profile "tiddies must be 34C or bigger, must be able to bounce a quarter off your ass".

 

[kūhaku]