Outfits that would make Chris look okay -

  • Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Looking into some solutions.
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DykesDykesChina

Human/Science
Deceased
kiwifarms.net
Until now, Chris's attire was usually located somewhere on the plane defined by the three points "creepy", "weird" and "goofy". But there might be styles that make him look okay. Let's give him a makeover.

As I already mentioned somewhere, I think a punk "Iro" haircut might not look completely terrible on Chris's head. Alternatively he might just cut his hair off, down to a recruit stubble or a completely bald head. As for clothing, I'd suggest a a gray turtleneck sweater and sand-colored flanell trousers combined with black leather shoes.

Also, he should put on shades a la Carlos Chantor. Hiding his boatlights staring into the distance does wonders for him looking normal.
 

cypocraphy

Deader than the parents on "Party Of Five"
True & Honest Fan
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I mentioned in chat before that if early to mid 2000's Chris was slimmer, showered regularly, and didn't dress like a 2nd grader from 1989 he honestly might look pretty decent. Oh, and ditch the pedo glasses too.

(his social skills on the other hand, well....)

Chris today is beyond repair.
 

Judge Holden

NO!!! MASSA NO!!!
True & Honest Fan
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burka_graduation.jpg
 

Kosher Dill

Potato Chips
True & Honest Fan
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Well aside from how huge he's gotten, there's not all that much standing in the way of him looking normal. In the McDonald's surveillance photo our field agent captured (which I can't find at the moment) he looks more or less like some regular fat guy. He doesn't even wear the pedo-glasses, medallions, or other autism markers anymore. Really, all he needs to do to pass for normal is wash regularly, wear his hair in a sensible style, and wear clean, un-ripped, plain men's clothes with no words or logos on them. And of course, ditch the makeup/warpaint.
 

Null

Ooperator
kiwifarms.net
These are some mean ass comments.

The problem with dressing Chris is his tits. It completely defies typical masculine figures and even heavy clothes wont look good because of them.
 

cubesandcubes

kiwifarms.net
Null said:
These are some mean ass comments.

The problem with dressing Chris is his tits. It completely defies typical masculine figures and even heavy clothes wont look good because of them.

I suppose that this is one of the reasons why Chris started to wear the "muscle bra". There's a degree of spergy tard-logic there.

There are smoothing tops for men that are not bras, though.
 

JimReynolds

kiwifarms.net
cubesandcubes said:
Null said:
These are some mean ass comments.

The problem with dressing Chris is his tits. It completely defies typical masculine figures and even heavy clothes wont look good because of them.

I suppose that this is one of the reasons why Chris started to wear the "muscle bra". There's a degree of spergy tard-logic there.

There are smoothing tops for men that are not bras, though.
I'm pretty sure Chris was more concerned with stopping them from moving instead of making them less noticeable. Yet another example of Chris' incredible logic skills.
 

cubesandcubes

kiwifarms.net
JimReynolds said:
cubesandcubes said:
Null said:
These are some mean ass comments.

The problem with dressing Chris is his tits. It completely defies typical masculine figures and even heavy clothes wont look good because of them.

I suppose that this is one of the reasons why Chris started to wear the "muscle bra". There's a degree of spergy tard-logic there.

There are smoothing tops for men that are not bras, though.
I'm pretty sure Chris was more concerned with stopping them from moving instead of making them less noticeable. Yet another example of Chris' incredible logic skills.

Perhaps it had something to do with his sensory defensiveness.
 
T

TL 611

Guest
kiwifarms.net
My mate John weighs 22 stone (approx 300 pounds)* and he manages to make himself presentable by wearing very loose fitting hoodies and jeans. Stay simple I guess, and I agree that the Carlos chanter glasses worked with cris's face.

*hes also 6'5" and a bit more built than Chris, but point still stands
 

cubesandcubes

kiwifarms.net
Melchett said:
My mate John weighs 22 stone (approx 300 pounds)* and he manages to make himself presentable by wearing very loose fitting hoodies and jeans. Stay simple I guess, and I agree that the Carlos chanter glasses worked with cris's face.

*hes also 6'5" and a bit more built than Chris, but point still stands

I agree that looser clothes might help. Chris has not updated his basic style since gradeschool. And with the appearance of a gut and manboobs he truly and honestly looks like this when he wears those goodwill polo-style shirts.
 

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Marvin

Christorical Figure
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Kosher Dill said:
Well aside from how huge he's gotten, there's not all that much standing in the way of him looking normal. In the McDonald's surveillance photo our field agent captured (which I can't find at the moment) he looks more or less like some regular fat guy. He doesn't even wear the pedo-glasses, medallions, or other autism markers anymore. Really, all he needs to do to pass for normal is wash regularly, wear his hair in a sensible style, and wear clean, un-ripped, plain men's clothes with no words or logos on them. And of course, ditch the makeup/warpaint.
http://i.imgur.com/GFZJ0Li.jpg
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
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Marvin said:
Kosher Dill said:
Well aside from how huge he's gotten, there's not all that much standing in the way of him looking normal. In the McDonald's surveillance photo our field agent captured (which I can't find at the moment) he looks more or less like some regular fat guy. He doesn't even wear the pedo-glasses, medallions, or other autism markers anymore. Really, all he needs to do to pass for normal is wash regularly, wear his hair in a sensible style, and wear clean, un-ripped, plain men's clothes with no words or logos on them. And of course, ditch the makeup/warpaint.
http://i.imgur.com/GFZJ0Li.jpg



Okay maybe he should wear t-shirts of currently popular r&b artists.
 

cubesandcubes

kiwifarms.net
CatParty said:
Marvin said:
Kosher Dill said:
Well aside from how huge he's gotten, there's not all that much standing in the way of him looking normal. In the McDonald's surveillance photo our field agent captured (which I can't find at the moment) he looks more or less like some regular fat guy. He doesn't even wear the pedo-glasses, medallions, or other autism markers anymore. Really, all he needs to do to pass for normal is wash regularly, wear his hair in a sensible style, and wear clean, un-ripped, plain men's clothes with no words or logos on them. And of course, ditch the makeup/warpaint.
http://i.imgur.com/GFZJ0Li.jpg



Okay maybe he should wear t-shirts of currently popular r&b artists.

And ditch the purse.
 

LordCustos3

Guvking Stalbjer
kiwifarms.net
Well, considering how he needs not only support for manboobs, but also restraint to keep him from running people over, might I suggest....
 

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T

TL 611

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Is Chris even capable of wearing something baggy? I mean the t-shirt he's wearing in that pic Marvin linked looks like it should be baggy, but his blubber just kinda fills in the space, like some weird liquid or something. I mean you can see his rolls and stuff, kinda gross.
 
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