Flowers For Sonichu
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Yet he refuses to acknowledge he needs to get more IRL friends or go to therapy 
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Peace Please? -
- Thread starter The Golden Knight
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I just turned 21 last sunday.
However I don't know what that has to do with anything in this thread Jay
The thing I am most ashamed about? Honestly there is a lot of things I am ashamed off but ill list one here and that is probably either almost getting done for indecent exposure wearing a morph suit and mooning a unmarked police car in the suit...
The Golden Shower said:I emotionally abused Heather by hoping I could develop her into my perfect match. Heather, I am officially sorry for forcing such upon you.
A step in the right direction...
Goldielocks and the Three Bears said:Oddly, I feel they are enacting the same emotional abuse onto me, trying to mold me into someone I am not.
This is because according to them, the only way to expunge my bad points is to fundamentally change who I am. I like who I am.
Goddammit, Jay.
"It is never cool for any adult to make any physical contact with a child, ideally not even if the adult is a parent. So says my generation."
I don't think Jay understands the meaning between good touch and bad touch....
Honestly Jay if you are still reading its ok to give your kids hugs pat on the backs etc...
But if its anything sexual then no it is completely wrong.
I don't think Jay understands the meaning between good touch and bad touch....
Honestly Jay if you are still reading its ok to give your kids hugs pat on the backs etc...
But if its anything sexual then no it is completely wrong.
I'm talking to jay now on dA. I've actually been talking to him for a while, checking in on his life, and how he views things... I can't let this guy hurt himself any more, this one is vicariously killing me. I might post logs later!
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deadson
kiwifarms.net
Please do. :3
B
BT 075
Guest
kiwifarms.net
What I am most ashamed of is my lousy haircut, lack of artistic skill and the fact that I still don't own epic armor. Also I burned down my house with a grilled cheese gone horrible wrong, and even my wolf BFF, who was basically a marine, abandoned me that day. Now I am but a shadow of the man I once was.
Let's see. I'm 28, married, no kids. So far this year I've had a couple of things published in nationally-circulated magazines and promoted a sellout local rock concert. I've also just started my own business and so far it's going well.
My biggest shame and regret is that it took until my late 20s to get tough on myself and actually do the things I want to do.
I'm very afraid of failure. But I'm even more frightened of never having tried.
My biggest shame and regret is that it took until my late 20s to get tough on myself and actually do the things I want to do.
I'm very afraid of failure. But I'm even more frightened of never having tried.
I'm 29. I'm most ashamed of abandoning my sisters.
My parents disowned me after I came out about five years ago, and after a long and drawn-out conflict (they extorted about ten grand from me and cleaned out most of my furniture), they finally stopped actively harassing me and said I was dead to them. (Now they just passively harass me with letters and phone calls.) Which would be fine, except that I have three younger siblings, a brother and two sisters. My brother was an adult at the time (and took their side), but my sisters were still pre-teens, and my parents forbade me from interacting with them since I was clearly "a bad influence" and would "corrupt" their innocent souls.
They're much older now, and in fact, my middle sister is legally an adult. But I haven't reached out to them because they still live at my parents' house, and I'm too afraid of them to risk getting anywhere near them. They've grown up without me, with only cards on birthdays and Christmas, and they probably hate me for it. There's so much I missed in their lives. I should have fought harder to see them, should have been braver, but I didn't and I wasn't. I'm still not. I miss them every day, but I'm still too scared to contact them, and I'll always regret missing those years.
I don't know why I typed this since he's clearly gone, but Jay, on the off-chance that you're lurking around? I miss my little sisters every day. I think of them often, I regret not knowing about how their minds and ideas have developed over the years, and if I ever get the chance, I will make amends and do my damndest to rebuild a relationship with them. This is empathy. This is love. If you don't recognize this emotion in your own life, please, seek help.
My parents disowned me after I came out about five years ago, and after a long and drawn-out conflict (they extorted about ten grand from me and cleaned out most of my furniture), they finally stopped actively harassing me and said I was dead to them. (Now they just passively harass me with letters and phone calls.) Which would be fine, except that I have three younger siblings, a brother and two sisters. My brother was an adult at the time (and took their side), but my sisters were still pre-teens, and my parents forbade me from interacting with them since I was clearly "a bad influence" and would "corrupt" their innocent souls.
They're much older now, and in fact, my middle sister is legally an adult. But I haven't reached out to them because they still live at my parents' house, and I'm too afraid of them to risk getting anywhere near them. They've grown up without me, with only cards on birthdays and Christmas, and they probably hate me for it. There's so much I missed in their lives. I should have fought harder to see them, should have been braver, but I didn't and I wasn't. I'm still not. I miss them every day, but I'm still too scared to contact them, and I'll always regret missing those years.
I don't know why I typed this since he's clearly gone, but Jay, on the off-chance that you're lurking around? I miss my little sisters every day. I think of them often, I regret not knowing about how their minds and ideas have developed over the years, and if I ever get the chance, I will make amends and do my damndest to rebuild a relationship with them. This is empathy. This is love. If you don't recognize this emotion in your own life, please, seek help.
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Everyone here has made mistakes or things they are afraid off. It's impossible for somebody to go through life and never feel bad for anything they've done. Somebody that's 100% fine with every action they've ever done isn't normal.
People here have given you good advice. Glaive pretty much nailed everything:
You know Jay, I actually feel a ton of shame.
I have feelings of shame to the point where they prevent me from doing a lot of things in life that I want. Because I'd rather avoid any kind of embarrassment. I don't stick my neck out enough and am missing out on a lot as a result. That in itself I am shameful of as well.
You on the other hand I feel like have no sense of shame whatsoever.
You are making an honest fool of yourself then act boastfully proud of it. To top it off, you deny needing any kind of professional help which tells me that you...
1. Don't really believe these are issues
2. Won't actually work at improving them yourself
3. You have no sense of what is socially appropriate
4. You have autism (not actually an issue but something that you need to recognize and be aware of)
5. Will continue acting defensive here to help rationalize your behavior to yourself rather than correcting it
I recommend you don't do a Chris and go "Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts." and actually listen and internalize what's being said to you.
Honest truths can be hurtful, but you can take them two ways: Live in denial and lurk in the DeviantArt hugbox or get professional/help therapy.
Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. I myself had to get therapy for depression when I was 18.
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I'm ashamed of trying to troll Jay a long time ago because I didn't realize how fucked he really was. Wouldn't have wasted my time trying to genuinely argue about stupid shit. Actually I'm ashamed of all instances like that. I used to be so much more of a lolcow.
Also I'm ashamed of visiting my boyfriend without discussing it with my parents first
And not performing enough Satanic rituals.. and not being on top of taking my meds sometimes....
Also I'm ashamed of visiting my boyfriend without discussing it with my parents first
And not performing enough Satanic rituals.. and not being on top of taking my meds sometimes....
I just wanted to point out that Commander Stryker having been the Dark Lord all along is a true miracle.
Also Jay you should be thrilled to have the opportunity to change, to not be static. To perfect yourself.
I really hope you don't read this and say "but I am already perfect in all the ways that matter." The best aren't the best because they say they are, they live life in service to others. That's why they're the best: they've overcome human nature, which is to constantly look out for Number One.
Overcome, Jay Geis.
Total Dingus
kiwifarms.net
I've said it before, but your quest for fame seems to be missing some critical steps, like developing the thing you want to be famous for.
In order to be an artist, you need to learn to see. You copy stuff without actually understanding what you're copying, so you miss the fundamental aspects of the style you strive for. While you seem to be able to develop some interesting scenes, you don't put enough thought into how to convey these scenes to the audience. If you have to write out ten paragraphs of text to explain what just happened on one page of a comic, you're doing it wrong. Every line on that comic page should be telling your story for you, and if they don't, go back and do it better. And if you don't know how, find out how.
I don't think you look at art and understand WHY it looks how it looks, so that's a skill you should try to develop. Once you understand what you're looking at, you can emulate it, and maybe even improve on it. And this is only a very small part of the effort that needs to be exerted before you can expect to become rich and/or famous for your stories. As others have said, it seems to be blind ego and negative re-enforcement that's holding you back, but I can guarantee you right now that fame takes a LOT more than "wanting to be famous". Don't let people buying your book at a tiny convention lull you into a false sense of accomplishment. I hate to say it, but I feel like a good portion of those buyers either wanted something to remember a weirdo by, or felt bad for a special needs kid who was yelling at them with his "booming voice". (Poor volume control does not equal resonance, by the way.)
You CAN be successful, even if you're just some weird kid. But you'll never make the leap from idea to fame without putting in a shitload of effort. "Good enough" isn't good enough. That's mediocrity.
You hate making art, and you hate putting work into things, so I'm still perplexed why you'd want to seek your fame through art, but I can only assume from what you've said that you think it's somehow "easy". It's not. I don't give a damn about your abrasive personality, but you've gotta learn to step back and objectively look at how BAD your art is compared to "famous" comic artists. You use Adobe Illustrator wrong on such a fundamental level that it's tragic. Maybe watch some online tutorials about how to use the pen tool correctly or something. AI is designed to create smooth, balanced forms, so there's no reason for your comic to look the way it does if you use the tools properly. Failing that, maybe invest in a Cintiq and draw right into Photoshop. Go technical, or organic, but don't fall in between. And for fuck's sake, stop rushing through art because you hate doing it so much.
That's enough sperging from me.
In order to be an artist, you need to learn to see. You copy stuff without actually understanding what you're copying, so you miss the fundamental aspects of the style you strive for. While you seem to be able to develop some interesting scenes, you don't put enough thought into how to convey these scenes to the audience. If you have to write out ten paragraphs of text to explain what just happened on one page of a comic, you're doing it wrong. Every line on that comic page should be telling your story for you, and if they don't, go back and do it better. And if you don't know how, find out how.
I don't think you look at art and understand WHY it looks how it looks, so that's a skill you should try to develop. Once you understand what you're looking at, you can emulate it, and maybe even improve on it. And this is only a very small part of the effort that needs to be exerted before you can expect to become rich and/or famous for your stories. As others have said, it seems to be blind ego and negative re-enforcement that's holding you back, but I can guarantee you right now that fame takes a LOT more than "wanting to be famous". Don't let people buying your book at a tiny convention lull you into a false sense of accomplishment. I hate to say it, but I feel like a good portion of those buyers either wanted something to remember a weirdo by, or felt bad for a special needs kid who was yelling at them with his "booming voice". (Poor volume control does not equal resonance, by the way.)
You CAN be successful, even if you're just some weird kid. But you'll never make the leap from idea to fame without putting in a shitload of effort. "Good enough" isn't good enough. That's mediocrity.
You hate making art, and you hate putting work into things, so I'm still perplexed why you'd want to seek your fame through art, but I can only assume from what you've said that you think it's somehow "easy". It's not. I don't give a damn about your abrasive personality, but you've gotta learn to step back and objectively look at how BAD your art is compared to "famous" comic artists. You use Adobe Illustrator wrong on such a fundamental level that it's tragic. Maybe watch some online tutorials about how to use the pen tool correctly or something. AI is designed to create smooth, balanced forms, so there's no reason for your comic to look the way it does if you use the tools properly. Failing that, maybe invest in a Cintiq and draw right into Photoshop. Go technical, or organic, but don't fall in between. And for fuck's sake, stop rushing through art because you hate doing it so much.
That's enough sperging from me.
So Mr Golden Knight, I have a suggestion for you, provided you're still checking this forum and are open to any sort of criticism or life-style change. From one writer to another, you really need to drop your profile down. Not a little, but in a big way. Most people who bother posting their, to be frank, unpublishable work, simply post it without all of the spergy and ridiculous dross and drivel you consistently post on your DA account. Do you really need to have a journal full of immature and unrealistic declarations, as well as deeply personal experiences? Don't you see that this is how people are able to fuck with you? Now, maybe you're too autistic to hear, understand, or listen to what I'm suggesting, so I'll attempt to break it down for you. Stephen King had a day job before Carrie got published. Now that he's making the big bucks, he doesn't dress up like the Gunslinger, Stan Lee doesn't carry a cement Mjollnir, and Alan Moore doesn't dress with a splotchy sock over his head. Furthermore, these motherfuckers weren't screeching about how egotistical and awesome their creations, or they themeselves were; their individual works of art made it into the mainstream, and now people laud them for their greatness. Recognition is the natural outcome of talent, talent is not the natural outcome of recognition, unless you want to be a reality internet laughingstock your whole life.
DrChristianTroy
kiwifarms.net
Or not take his mother's word as god. He really avoided that question.Yet he refuses to acknowledge he needs to get more IRL friends or go to therapy
The only thing I'm ashamed of - is that I didn't go to college for computer science sooner in place of my time in Cooking... I'd be a lot smarter and more prepared to do this shit if I had, despite my love for cooking...
That, and wasting my time here on this particular thread complaining about this guy - which I still seem to be, too. Damn.
That, and wasting my time here on this particular thread complaining about this guy - which I still seem to be, too. Damn.
22. What's it to you?
Probably that I see so much of myself in you (among other lolcows discussed on this board).
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