People that border being an LOLCow but have yet to cross it? -

Deadpool

He is not lonely, who takes pride in solitude.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Mike Matei for his gross ass bandito comics alone
I've always thought something was up with that guy (other than being a closeted faggot). If anyone gets ousted as a cow from Cinemassacre it'll be him.
 

TotallyAChick

kiwifarms.net
Pewdiepie. He's not a lolcow, but most of his new videos are just about him being an unfunny edge lord. Sure, some jokes he makes are fine and it's not like his opinions are all crap, but that edge. He responds late, is not accurate and yet he has this smug air about him. I really hate his current online persona. BUT he seems to be doing fine outside of Youtube and is too mentally stable to provide serious tard cum. I can't see him crossing that line.

Other than that I know people irl who are full-blown cows but have such minor online presence it's as if they didn't exist.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Syaoran Li

Basil II

National Opthalmologist of Bulgaria
kiwifarms.net
I hear that @Syaoran Li fella is a complete and utter sperg....

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't be halal'd yet.

But seriously, I'd say Tara Strong, Varg Vikernes, Charlie Sheen, Keith Olbermann, and a few others who are technically immune due to the "No Celebrities" rule.

Uwe Boll and Randy Quaid got a pass because their careers were long dead before they got their threads and IIRC, Shia only got in because of how 4chan trolled him and his meltdown that followed.

Amanda Winn-Lee got herself thread since she was also a has-been (in a niche fandom) and is tied to the Weeb Wars

Although, given that Varg is now mostly known for his YouTube channel and has left music completely, maybe he could be an "Internet Famous" lolcow?

Westboro Baptist Church could also count under a "Community Watch" or at least be included under the thread for general fundies. If I remember correctly, they were kept away from lolcow discussion due to similar reasons as the "No Celebrities" rule but let's face it, their media presence pretty much ended after Fred Phelps died and apparently, they've gone even more batshit since Steve Drain became the de facto leader.
>tara strong
>"""""celebrity"""""

we have fucking wil wheaton who's somehow more relevant than her.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: The Pink Panther

Syaoran Li

Honorary Zoomer
kiwifarms.net
>tara strong
>"""""celebrity"""""

we have fucking wil wheaton who's somehow more relevant than her.
I'm not saying Tara Strong is a celebrity, I'm just saying she was saved from getting a lolcow thread because of the "No Celebrities Rule"

Wil Wheaton was given an exemption because his actual celebrity career was over and his modern-day fame exists entirely online for the most part. Aside from Big Bang Theory, which is on its deathbed, he hasn't gotten any mainstream exposure outside of the internet and I think he only got on Big Bang Theory due to being a Star Trek has-been who had an internet following before.

I think the main reason why Tara Strong was covered while Wil Wheaton was exempted and given a thread despite being more well-known among mainstream society is because Tara still is a fairly active voice actor while Wil Wheaton is honestly more "Internet Famous" nowadays but unlike Sargon or Boogie, he actually was famous outside of the internet at one point in his career.

I think if his thread was created nowadays, it would go to Internet Famous and not the main lolcow forum.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Jewelsmakerguy

Basil II

National Opthalmologist of Bulgaria
kiwifarms.net
I'm not saying Tara Strong is a celebrity, I'm just saying she was saved from getting a lolcow thread because of the "No Celebrities Rule"

Wil Wheaton was given an exemption because his actual celebrity career was over and his modern-day fame exists entirely online for the most part. Aside from Big Bang Theory, which is on its deathbed, he hasn't gotten any mainstream exposure outside of the internet and I think he only got on Big Bang Theory due to being a Star Trek has-been who had an internet following before.

I think the main reason why Tara Strong was covered while Wil Wheaton was exempted and given a thread despite being more well-known among mainstream society is because Tara still is a fairly active voice actor while Wil Wheaton is honestly more "Internet Famous" nowadays but unlike Sargon or Boogie, he actually was famous outside of the internet at one point in his career.

I think if his thread was created nowadays, it would go to Internet Famous and not the main lolcow forum.
Monica Rial and Jamie Marchi are still voice acting but we make fun of their exceptionalism all the time, so the still working thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and no one outside of cartoon autists like Enter know who she is. I bet more people know who fucking Maddox is than her.

Why is there a no celebrities rule? I understand celebs tend to be incredibly exceptional normally so I guess @Null doesn't want people spamming the farms with them, but why can't we give them their own section or something?
 

Basil II

National Opthalmologist of Bulgaria
kiwifarms.net
because I don't want exceptional individuals spamming threads on people more successful than them that makes them look petty.
I see, we would get an influx of autists "REEEEE MY WAIFU GOT A BOYFRIEND"
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Syaoran Li

Syaoran Li

Honorary Zoomer
kiwifarms.net
Monica Rial and Jamie Marchi are still voice acting but we make fun of their exceptionalism all the time, so the still working thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and no one outside of cartoon autists like Enter know who she is. I bet more people know who fucking Maddox is than her.

Why is there a no celebrities rule? I understand celebs tend to be incredibly exceptional normally so I guess @Null doesn't want people spamming the farms with them, but why can't we give them their own section or something?
Monica Rial and Jamie Marchi probably fell into a special exemption like Shia LeBouf did because they were among the main architects of the KickVic shitstorm that created a whole new and extremely active sub-forum as a result, similar to how Shia LeBouf was still getting work when he got his thread due to the sheer insanity of the He Will Not Divide Us debacle and his subsequent breakdown that unfolded as a result.

IIRC, someone did try to make a Tara Strong thread due to her SJW views and her primadonna attitude towards the nerds who follow her, but it was shot down under the "No Celebrities" rule because despite her shitty opinions, she hasn't done anything really exceptional to deserve a lolcow thread exclusive to her.

She's no more of a lolcow than Robert DeNiro or John Oliver in terms of her actual statements and behaviors, so even if she's not famous outside of cartoon sperg circles, she's not really a lolcow.

Wil Wheaton, Randy Quaid, and Uwe Boll all got their threads because they were all washed-up has been types even before their online notoriety and their online antics would have branded them lolcows even if they weren't celebrities to begin with.

It also helps that Uwe Boll's infamy and online antics were a major part of 2000's internet culture.

The only mainstream celebrity lolcow who could be truly thread worthy that hasn't gotten a thread that I can think of is Charlie Sheen, and that's because he's been relatively quiet since his infamous meltdown and later public disclosure of his HIV status (notably, he became infected with HIV around the same time as his public breakdown) and I think if Kiwi Farms existed in 2011, he would have gotten a thread for the same reasons as Shia LeBouf did.

IIRC, when CWCki Forums started to branch out and focus on other lolcows, there were threads that were pretty dumb and autistic in retrospect, most notably threads on Westboro Baptist Church and North Korea (the latter thread got turned a general thread and moved to what is now A&H and I think it's still there today) and the Westboro Baptist Church thread must've been downright awful because it was given its own specific clause in the same lolcow criteria that the "No Celebrities" rule is listed.

Varg Vikernes didn't get a lolcow thread of his own (although I think he deserves one) because of the "No Celebrities" rule at first, but when CWCki Forums was first branching out into lolcow territory, he hadn't really got into his online antics yet and was more of a meme among metalheads because of his antics in the 90's and a few infamous photos.

Before he became a YouTube Nazi, Varg was about as much of a lolcow as other metal musicians who were "meme bands" like GWAR, Steel Panther, Sabaton, Alestorm, and Cannibal Corpse.

Now I think Varg (and his wife Marie) would definitely qualify for a thread in the Internet Famous sub-forum.
 
Last edited:

Syndrome of a Down

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm not saying Tara Strong is a celebrity, I'm just saying she was saved from getting a lolcow thread because of the "No Celebrities Rule"

Wil Wheaton was given an exemption because his actual celebrity career was over and his modern-day fame exists entirely online for the most part. Aside from Big Bang Theory, which is on its deathbed, he hasn't gotten any mainstream exposure outside of the internet and I think he only got on Big Bang Theory due to being a Star Trek has-been who had an internet following before.

I think the main reason why Tara Strong was covered while Wil Wheaton was exempted and given a thread despite being more well-known among mainstream society is because Tara still is a fairly active voice actor while Wil Wheaton is honestly more "Internet Famous" nowadays but unlike Sargon or Boogie, he actually was famous outside of the internet at one point in his career.

I think if his thread was created nowadays, it would go to Internet Famous and not the main lolcow forum.
There is a lot wrong with Wil but he does do a good job narrating audio-books.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Syaoran Li

THEF00L

kiwifarms.net
because I don't want exceptional individuals spamming threads on people more successful than them that makes them look petty.
that and it bring even more attention to this site and it might get flooded by their fans or there will be more lolsuits
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Syaoran Li
Tommy Wiseau has to count...
He's kinda in his own league. He does what he loves and somehow has piles of money to do it.


Anyway I'd say Alyssa Milano is approaching a level if conflicting personal traits and aspirations that express themselves in all manner of delusional conjecture that it's backfiring from all directions: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6796681/Alyssa-Milano-slammed-calling-transgender-disabled.html

I don't use the term Lolcow, but I'm sure she'll fit there soon enough for those that do.

It's quite sad. She was a fantastic person and has a good heart.
If she wasn't so naive her message of being "everything" could be seen as transcendental but instead of standing up for herself she covers and begs for forgiveness to be approved and appreciated by the most degenerate elements of those she tries to protect and help.
 

Debrotherized Luigi

Late Night Delight
kiwifarms.net
He's kinda in his own league. He does what he loves and somehow has piles of money to do it.
Tommy Wiseau somehow did the impossible and turned what would have been a career destroying failure for others, into a massive (if ironic) success for himself. And if even half of what's said in 'The Disaster Artist" is remotely true, Tommy is something of a sympathetic figure, if also highly enigmatic and eccentric. I wouldn't say he's a lolcow like, say, DSP, Andrew Dobson, or Amberlynn Reid, but he's a lolcow like Ugojesse or Tamers12345: they're weird, oftentimes cringeworthy, and you don't get why they do, but you have to admire them for doing what they love and feel passionate about.

This will likely be a controversial one, but IMO James Gunn almost fell into the lolcow territory with his political spergouts over the years (and whether or not you agreed with him, he was one of those 'Rules for thee, but not for me' types), but I think the whole debacle with Cernovich's mob, the old tweets, and getting fired from GOTG Vol. 3 really humbled him, if the tone he's taken in interviews for 'Brightburn' are any indication.
 
There's something about Tommy that clearly isn't very well understood. It is speculated that he, just like Uwe Boll, are or rather were deeply vested within the criminal underworld let alone the now more or less official story that he owned real estate that most people only can dream about and imported clothes and flipped them with his brand with added retail value while selling other clothes at a discounted value, like one of the earlier form of what became an Outlet industry.

He had an accident so he might've suffered some brain damage. But there's absolutely no ego or intentional over-reacting in the way he behaves. For me a Lolcow isn't just some weird or eccentric person. It's someone that invites abuse through willful overexposure of their less than refined traits.

Tommy is both private about his life and his emotions.He's probably just autistic or something like that, disconnected in some way.
He reminds me more of someone like this: Ghaal, from Black Metal Norway band Gorgoroth:
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Syaoran Li

TheImportantFart

Tradflatulist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I’ve considered starting a Dave Rubin thread, but he’s just too fucking boring to justify it.

I used to be a huge fan of Dave’s, but around 2017 I began to get bored of the conservative circlejerk his show’s become. Dude’s such a doormat for the right it’s actually kind of pathetic. I knew something was up when he started endorsing nosebleeds like Candace Owens and Charlie Kirk (he said Candace Owens could successfully run for government - what the actual fuck?) and after watching him embarrass himself when Joe Rogan and David Pakman asked him some slightly difficult questions about his political beliefs only confirmed those suspicions. The fact he now runs and hides whenever anyone who might be critical of him sneezes in his direction is tribute to the fact he knows he can’t stand up to scrutiny.

When he first started out and was a liberal who wanted to talk to people on the right, his show was actually interesting. But now it’s just him bootlicking for Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro ad nauseam to an audience of fart huffing cringe merchants who actually believe they’re saving Western civilisation by doing this shit.

Like I said though, too boring to justify a thread - an empty husk of a man parroting the same talking points about how the left is no longer liberal and you’ve got to go to a different baker and by the way did you know I’m gay married? over and over is more likely to generate eye rolls than laughter.

Maybe one day though.
 

FireGod365

kiwifarms.net
Can we all admit Elon Musk that has crossed the threshold of being an LOLCow, or at least skirted dangerously near the edge of a cliff if we're being honest?
 

Jerkov

kiwifarms.net
He's been mentioned in Joe Cumia's thread, but failed Sci-Fi author Patrick S. Tomlinson.

He had an abortion tweet go viral after his constant politisperging.

One particular attempt at going viral stands out as extra cringey:
patrick-s-tomlinson-stealthygeek-follow-you-watched-a-generation-31187710.png

He said "Norm MacDonald isn't funny" because of some minor league #MeToo shit so the Opie and Anthony subreddit declared war on him (yes, that was literally why lol).

He has consumed himself in this battle with the subreddit who he believes is alt-right incel cyber terrorists, but is really just a collection of assholish computer illiterate boomer comedy fans.

He's become so paranoid about this that he'll accuse anybody (legitimate negative book reviews, people who disagree with his political statements etc) of being a troll from the subreddit.

He also does stand up comedy objectively poorly but is very proud of himself for it. Regular poster on r/standupshots.

I don't think he's thread worthy just yet but he's definitely tip-toeing the line and we should get some content before long that plunges him into full on lolcow territory.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I forgot. The O&A guys got all his Twitter accounts banned so he made an account for his fucking cat named Robert S. Mewler
 
Last edited:
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino