Celebrity Perez Hilton / ThePerezHilton / Mario Armando Lavandiera Jr - The Biggest Douchebag in the Known Universe, Dramamonger, Washed-Up Has-Been, CP Distributor


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Perfectly Cromulent Poster
Disgusting fat fuck aside, how fucking filthy is that carpet?!
If it's the kind of carpet I think it is, it might not be filthy. It's just a shitty weave that turns dark if it gets rubbed the wrong way because it's in the weird place between a shag carpet and a normal short fiber one. Like petting a cat backwards and it's fur goes nuts.


Likes : Rooftops.
True & Honest Fan
When I started studying journalism, he was at the height of his popularity and was given as an example of a successful blogger. Which was fucking laughable because all he ever did was draw dicks on photos, gossip about pointless Z-List Celebs like Courtney Peldon, her sister Ashley and Jason "Gummy Bear" Davis and harass Brittany Murphy to her grave and beyond. Perez Hilton 2004-2006 RIP Fatass.


Anonymus Fluhre

No man fears what he has seen grow
I only heard of this website of his because I believe I seen Vordrak commenting on Evanescence fans back around 2010 or so on it. Other than that I had no reason to pay any attention to him

Vordrak can be seen in the comments

I should point out he's no longer fat as he did lose weight, but he doesn't seem to be one who keep in shape afterwords.

Also, here's him on RAW
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Broken Pussy

Kitten Enthusiast
True & Honest Fan
I've always wondered how he's never been sued by the Hilton family. I know his name is a parody or whatever but he's such an attention whoring asshole that I'm surprised he hasn't pissed off someone like Paris Hilton enough to have her throw a hollywood lolsuit at him.
I always wondered, too, especially since Hilton is a brand name for hotels. If Page Six could do it, why couldn't they?


Organ Donor
His video pissing and moaning after getting punched by will.i.am is fantastic. They dicussed it on the Opie & Anthony radio show and after playing just a short part of it, the late, great Patrice O'Neal stopped the tape to say "If you had never heard the word 'faggot' before, your brain would invent it for this dude." I hope that clip is on YouTube somewhere.


Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
I've always wondered how he's never been sued by the Hilton family
I always wondered, too, especially since Hilton is a brand name for hotels. If Page Six could do it, why couldn't they?
Let me enlighten you. Paris was an early adopter of using gossip media to keep her empire churning. She was delighted by Perez, and GLADLY fed him material and photos. Note that Perez NEVER shit on Paris; it was always how fab and glam and out there fun she was. Paris even adopted this fat ugly fag into her family - one of his early articles exclaims gleefully that he was invited to spend Christmas with "Cousin Paris and Aunt Kath!". So every once in a while, Paris would take pity on this giant nerd, and in return she got tons of positive coverage. Perez even kept covering once no one else did.

And that is the story of how the Hilton's have never sued him. On the contrary, they adore what he did for Pais's personal brand.

The hotel brand is another story - that's Paris's grandfather Conrad, and because the grandchildren were so numerous, and Conrad was a strict Catholic who was appalled at Paris (old school money wants to be in the papers exactly 3 times in your life: when you're born; when you marry; when you die): he donated all his monies to Catholic charities, none to the grandkids, when he died a few years back. So the Hilton Hotel brand was always held distinct from Paris herself; she's not often described as a "Hilton heiress" any more, because she didn't inherit shit. Her money comes from her father's real estate dealings and her own branding.

Nikki on the other hand has been involved with the hotel. She actually went to college; started a design company; got married to more old money (after suffering a pretty horrible eating disorder); and has done interiors for boutique Hiltons before. But the family seems to be able to separate Paris's circus from Nikki's work as an asset to the hotel brand.

The fact that all this has been sitting in my head for a decade is pretty sad, lol.


Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
How much do you have to pay to surrogate a child? God damn that's got to be the most pathetic form of prostitution ever (I know it's artificial insemination so good for her), I feel bad for the woman. Knowing youre bringing monsters into the world.
I had to research a shady IVF clinic once and "gestational carriers" (GC) get paid about $30,000, but it seems they rely on the GC to have their own medical insurance or be eligible for medicaid. A woman who simply donate her eggs gets paid around $6,000 (but then you have all the medical expenses with that so it costs around $15,000 to get donated eggs)

Surrogates used to mean bio mother with sperm donor carrying a child. Now they use donated eggs, plus sperm and a gestational carrier so the woman carrying the child has no genetic link to the baby and can't try any kind of custody claim because there is no genetic link to the child. Basically you'd pay between $50,000 to $100,000 for a baby if all goes well. I could become a gay status symbol because of the associate cost of a gay man getting his own bio baby.

Perez seem to get these babies made out of pure ego and the fact no one wants to date/be with him and baby can't run away from his annoying ass. Poor kids.


Here's Mr. Lavandiera innocently bathing with his child:


Now, I know what you're thinking. But luckily he has an answer for you, it's all totally innocent!

Hilton said he and his nanny “tag-team” on the bathing responsibilities and he always wears swimming trunks during the process.
Swimming trunks! You see, totally innocent! I know I feel a lot better when preschool teachers reassure me they wear a sports cup to restrain their genitals while teaching a class.