Personal Lolcows: Furry Edition - Only God Knows the Horror Lurking in this Fandom

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Feline Darkmage

Gamer Gril Queen
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Just like Tumblr (which we also have a subforum about) the furry fandom is full of insane, hilarious, and occasionally pathetic individuals. This is the thread for the ones not infamous or prolific enough for individual threads that the users here have personally met and observed.

For instance a couple years back I became email penpals with a dude who had a dragon fursona (I sadly don't remember any of his usernames though) and we would talk back and forth.

To make things short this guy was perpetually lonely, like Incel level lonely. Although he never held any bitterness toward any particular gender or sex (due to being bisexual on top of being a lonely and depressed horndog) he was definitely the kind of person that would be classed as a "nice guy".

I'm not joking. This guy would email me incessantly about how lonely he was and I tried to cheer him up but he just never listened. Eventually we ceased all contact when I became fed up with his whiney, self-defeatist bullshit.

And this is the kind of thing that makes someone a lolcow, any attempt at talking sense in them either doesn't work or it backfires.

I look forward to the other stories our users (both new and old) will bring.
 

Pangoro

kiwifarms.net
I find it funny that there seems to be a theme among those who have more exotic fursonas (bats, dragons) and being an all-around weirdo.
General rule is, the more "special" a fursona is, the more likely it is the person behind it has some kind of mental issues. This goes for double if their fursona is a mythical creature or a fictional creation.
 

Reynard

Vixen on the Edge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Finally! I can share this with the Farms! Around April someone in a chat I'm in showed me this guy: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/john-hyacinth-macaw/

If you look through his gallery, you'll notice that he takes pictures of the camera taking pictures, can't spell to save his life, is obsessed with birds farting on him, he draws on dry erase board instead of paper, trying to start fart RPs in the comments sections of unrelated art that he has favorited, and just all around strange behavior such as deleting his journals whenever he posts a new one.

My favorite part has to be this little comment an a joke photograph he found: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/8355311/#cid:117840709

I'd love to make a thread on this dude, but I just feel that there'a not enough here to keep one alive, unfortunately.
 

Bob Page

Electronic Old Gendo Ikari
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Well, I did know one:

This person (I'll refer to him as Clive, not his real name) I knew in high school was a friend of some of my friends and a furry. Clive and I were neutral with each other at first until we both started saying stupid shit to each other(It was high school, we all did and said stuff like that back then). I soon realized how much of an asshat he turned out to be. I haven't seen Clive since he graduated a year before me. But, from what my friends had told me, he came out as pansexual, a literal furfag. Most of my friends had broke off contact with Clive when he started getting a huge ego problem. He even badmouthed a friend of mine over skype which ended in said friend telling him to go yiff in hell. He shook his mother down for money to attend Anthrocon 2012, despite his family finances not being in the best of shape. When he got to the con, he got screwed out of his hotel and chimped about it. Ever since I graduated(the last time I heard anything about him), he hasn't gotten a job or made an effort to do
so and didn't even go to college. He just sits on his ass and makes LP's of minecraft or something. I'm not even sure if he does that anymore.

Unsurprisingly, he has a furaffinity account.

All in all, I don't give a shit about him anymore. I don't care if I do come across him irl. I would just leave him to fuck his own life up himself.
 
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Kaabi

Poyo
kiwifarms.net
Well, I did know one:

This person (I'll refer to him as Clive, not his real name) I knew in high school was a friend of some of my friends and a furry. Clive and I were neutral with each other at first until we both started saying stupid shit to each other(It was high school, we all did and said stuff like that back then). I soon realized how much of an asshat he turned out to be. I haven't seen Clive since he graduated a year before me. But, from what my friends had told me, he came out as pansexual, a literal furfag. Most of my friends had broke off contact with Clive when he started getting a huge ego problem. He even badmouthed a friend of mine over skype which ended in said friend telling him to go yiff in hell. He shook his mother down for money to attend Anthrocon 2012, despite his family finances not being in the best of shape. When he got to the con, he got screwed out of his hotel and chimped about it. Ever since I graduated(the last time I heard anything about him), he hasn't gotten a job or made an effort to do
so and didn't even go to college. He just sits on his ass and makes LP's of minecraft or something. I'm not even sure if he does that anymore.

Unsurprisingly, he has a furaffinity account.

All in all, I don't give a shit about him anymore. I don't care if I do come across him irl. I would just leave him to fuck his own life up himself.
I love how he has a Patreon and of course, he gets dust in his pocket. Bonus points for the lack of banner and a crappy description why people should throw money at him.
 

Reynard

Vixen on the Edge
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I love how he has a Patreon and of course, he gets dust in his pocket. Bonus points for the lack of banner and a crappy description why people should throw money at him.
It's basically just a typical shitty crowdfunding effort that pretty much every dime-a-dozen shitty let's player makes because they're delusional that they'll make it big. You'd think they'd get it through their heads that such a saturated market is impossible to penetrate at this point, don't they?
 

NumberingYourState

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Gonna call this kid 'Jenkins', and he was huge into the Naruto weeb fashion, also labeling himself "My Animal Spirit is a Fox but I Don't Consider Myself a Fox" type furry. What's the difference, with or without the self-defeating 'really but not really' logic? Jenkins also had BPD which led to some borderline A-Log shenanigans. Like throwing a chair across the room.
 

Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Guess I finally have the opportunity to get this off my chest, but this is rather tame.

My first exposure to furries was through an old friend, I'll call her Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue actually became a furry in high school, though by that time we were slowly going our separate ways since our schedules couldn't cross often enough to stay in contact (and I'm pretty bad about staying on top of e-mail--didn't help she only ever had Internet access at the library). I think she was discovering bit by bit what being a furry even was because she suddenly showed up one day with a fox tail pinned to her jeans and had that throughout high school. (It took her a while to come to the conclusion she was a furry because she realized she wanted to live in the forest and be wild and free--pretty sure she became an otherkin and mistook that as being a furry, but I don't remember the signs otherwise.) Weirdly enough, while she was a Naruto weeb, she never crossbred furries and anime.

Peggy Sue drew some furry art while in high school (though thinking back on it, she was drawing them back in middle school), so I would see it from time to time, but thought nothing of it since I actually knew and was friends with an unsettling number of people with fursonas or at least drew anthros. After graduation, we never saw each other again, but through sporadic, somewhat vague updates on DeviantArt, I learned she got more involved with the furry community, had a fursuit made, and even got a boyfriend (whom she called her mate, never saw his face or got his name) through the community and married him (my guess was because she got pregnant), though that marriage didn't last.

I honestly do miss Peggy Sue since we were good friends, but I have a feeling we don't have much in common anymore, and I'd hate to see what's become of her since her divorce. I mentioned DeviantArt, but she's rarely active on there anyway and I sincerely doubt she's made money off of these adoptables she had attempted to get in on a few years back, so no point linking to it (she might have a FA account, but I doubt that's active as well). I'll give her fursona, however; it's probably what she still identifies as, but I don't know at this point.

fursona.png


She calls it a draguar (dragon/jaguar hybrid, don't know how common that is).
 

Kurosaki Ichigo

an approaching murder
kiwifarms.net
We had an event at my school a couple years back to celebrate Fall/Halloween and we had a small costume contest, nothing big just for fun kind of thing.

Some guy brought his ugly ass fursuit that I could tell he'd made himself on a minuscule fund and not with much experience in general crafting. The thing belonged on the terrible fursuit thread. The head was the classic bucket head formation: a tube of foam wrapped around the wearer's head and not much more added to it. Hideous craft store fur that looked like he colored blue using markers or spray paint. The thing was probably hot glued together, nary a stitch on it, so I could see bits of green foam being exposed.

I think the slapped together ones are the worst.
 

soryu

Jerry Mouse
kiwifarms.net
I knew a friend since middle school who started showing their furry side in high school. They were obsessed with wolves and befriended a horse lover.

The horse lover would never stop talking about horses and drawing horses. I had a couple classes with her and she did a speech once about horses and cried at the end of the speech from remembering her dead horse.

My wolf friend would wear collars, chains, would make growling sounds when we would annoy her, and grew her fingernails out to cut them in a sharp style. She also loved drawing wolves and wolf people. I remember one time she stole a drawing from the horse girl and claimed she actually drew it even though horse girl put her signature on it. She would show the drawing to all of our friends during lunch with her thumb covering the horse girl's signature very poorly, it was hilarious. After a couple months of her going furry, I didn't see her often so we grew apart. I remember she did ask me once if I had any spare duck tape so she could use it for her future fursuit, but I didn't have any at my house at the time.
Years pass and her furry phase is over, she has a daughter. I visited them a year ago and they are doing really well.
 
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