Personal Lolcows: Tumblr Edition - A website like Tumblr tends to breed exceptional individuals

Melkor

Turbo Cancer
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
After talking to a mod about it, I've been given the OK to make this thread.

One thing to remember: do not give out any information that may identify you. Tumblrinas can be volatile and may try to dox you.

I'll start.

I used to follow this guy on tumblr about 6 months ago. Let's call him Mike.
Now, Mike was a fake tranny woman (he made no attempt to pass) who identified as monosexual--he was attracted to women only. Which is kind of autistic in and of itself, because if he identified as a woman and was only attracted to women, wouldn't that make him a lesbian?
Anyways, he made a post one day saying how demisexuality wasn't real. When someone reblogged it refuting his claim, he proceeded to derail the post to make them look like an idiot.
Basically, he was a massive hypocrite for claiming to be monosexual and saying demisexuality wasn't real. After seeing how he acted, it was enough for me to unfollow him.
 

Lackadaisy

ZA FOOL
kiwifarms.net
My personal tumblr lolcow is this fourteen year old "demigirl" who's kin with Charmander and posts about how much she hates her parents. I can't even be mad at her; it's like a blast from the past for me with all her whiny teenage garbage about 'minor emancipation' and not being allowed to go to the mall. It's kind of adorable, really, because I'm 90% sure she'll grow out of this soon and look back on it with regret.
 

Galaxy Harasser

NO. Magenta horsecock is foreboden.
kiwifarms.net
I only really interacted with her in her streams, and she's more of a sadcow than a lolcow.

She went by many names, but mostly as "Nemu". She was an artist that was obsessed with puking and puke itself (I liked her non-puke art). She inserted her Mary Sue in every fandom she was in, usually shipping herself with the ugly characters.

It seems like every few weeks she would have a meltdown, and when she got further diagnosed with more mental disorders (by a real doctor, none of the self-DX shit), she would bring it up almost all the time.

One day she just snapped and left Tumblr forever and I think she went to Twitter. I never did find her account.

Other than that, she was a nice person who tried to stay positive most of the time.
 

Tlazolli

pingas
kiwifarms.net
I met this chick who thought she was a character from a children's cartoon, was obsessed with shipping an incest couple while insisting it wasn't incest. Was very homophobic and claimed the mere sight of yaoi made her puke. She was quite an individual.
 

Rilakkuma

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
kiwifarms.net
only really interacted with her in her streams, and she's more of a sadcow than a lolcow.

She went by many names, but mostly as "Nemu". She was an artist that was obsessed with puking and puke itself (I liked her non-puke art). She inserted her Mary Sue in every fandom she was in, usually shipping herself with the ugly characters.

It seems like every few weeks she would have a meltdown, and when she got further diagnosed with more mental disorders (by a real doctor, none of the self-DX shit), she would bring it up almost all the time.

One day she just snapped and left Tumblr forever and I think she went to Twitter. I never did find her account.

Other than that, she was a nice person who tried to stay positive most of the time.
I followed her too. She was actually really nice and I loved her art. She nuked her tumblr because she wanted to keep her fetish art separate from her real name and career. Funny enough, she got all her student loans paid off by the time she was 21 and was one of the most hardworking and responsible people I've ever seen. She's a weirdo, but in a cool way.
 

Jester

I was the problematic fav all along.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I have a personal lolcow who thinks that if they're kin with Adachi, they can keep him from doing evil actions. I don't get the logic behind that either.

Pretty sure he's a fictional character and that if he did do something again, they wouldn't be able to do anything about it. They also use it/it's pronouns for him, so there's that.
 
V

VJ 120

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Really the only cow on mine (because I actually try very hard to avoid following stereotypical Tumblrina douchebags) is a fairly popular oddity blogger. She really has interesting content, usually off the wall photographs or strange art, or gross stuff, but as a person she's honestly a scumbag.

She takes photos and posts them without context, which is fine for some things but there's also art that she doesn't credit artists for. When people have called her out on it, she writes an excessively nasty response like "Pfft, I googled this and I'm NOT going to credit the artist, sucks to be them" and blocks the person who asks.

Also, she advertises herself as being a solid single-topic oddities/weird shit blog, but she'll randomly go on SJW rants. When she does this, people will either question why she posted it there or bring up debatable questions, typically in a pretty respectful way. She'll get pissy and write a mean-spirited response, and block the person. Her typical response is to just block anyone who minorly inconveniences her, while writing a post about how she blocked them.

This blogger is actually schizophrenic (or some type of similar mental illness) in the non-self-dx way. She posts ramblings on occasion about how she's so mentally ill that she sees shit that isn't there or whatever. She also does LSD, smokes weed, and snorts coke, and drunk-blogs pretty often, as well as being generally promiscuous with both men and women. And she alleges that she had a really hard childhood and grew up rich/elite but now she's broke in Minneapolis and works at a furniture store.

Honestly she could probably have a thread here, but her instances of being shitty and cow-like are somewhat sporadic. For the most part, her blog is just a collection of bizarre-ass pictures interspersed with long, spergy ramblings about her life. Despite being a massive cunt to people, she actually has a pretty large following of loyal asspatters.
 

patchwork

EAT SOAP
kiwifarms.net
I have a particularly depressing sadcow that I've been debating on making a thread about, but decided there wasn't a shred of hilarity with her so there was no point.

In the Homestuck fandom, one of the the Things to Do is make your own "fanventure" in the style of the original comic with your fantrolls, or whatever. This person, whom I'll call Rot as an obvious hint, made her name decently big by making one of these fanventures. However, like many creative tumblrinas with big dreams, she completely drops it just as the comic gets interesting and then falls into depressive alcoholism.
She does this INCREDIBLY often. She also completely chimps out whenever anyone brings up this comic, or ANY of her projects that got popularity at all. She absolutely hates being reminded of when she used to be popular and had a decent fanbase. One of her sidebar 'rules' was to basically never ever bring up this shit or she falls back into depressive alcoholism. Or she'll just do that anyway later on for unrelated reasons.

Well, the real reason Rot dropped that comic was because she wanted to make a game - a game she has a successfully funded Kickstarter for. This game is basically an OFF rip-off style wise and battle wise, and has an incredibly ambitious plot and dating system (or something) planned. She has a playable demo and... that's it. After the demo was released, nothing else was heard of this game again. She dropped it and fell into depressive alcoholism again, though periodically she makes promises to work on the game before something else happens (or she works on yet another project, like ANOTHER comic).
Rot chimped out when Undertale was released, and several people called her out on her complaints of Undertale being the most boring game ever when she hadn't touched her own game for months, or hadn't even been a relevant name for years. She later apologized but this was the last landmark I have of Rot ever saying anything positive about her life ever again.
She did release an entirely different game that's just a 2deep4u walkaround that repeats 50 times over and over, so she's got that going for her.

On the side, she makes some creepy ass looking dolls and jewelry and gets upset when people call them creepy or ugly.

I actually rechecked her blog just now, and it seems she's been working more consistently on that kickstarter game now so it looks like something's being done finally. But every single page has a different post about how she wants to die, how much her life sucks, or whatever else that's just... really uncomfortable to be following long term. Drunk posting and/or crying is still commonplace.
 

Yamyam

Uki uki motherfucker
kiwifarms.net
OK like I used to be friends with this guy who is pretty bratty.
I met him through the rp community that I am in and I liked his muse so we decided to exchange Skypes and things was pretty ok the first 3 months. After that his true colors began to show.

He was always bitching and complaining how mean his parents where. Even tho they had no problems with him being trans, brought him anything he want and pulled him out to be home school when he was complaining how he hates school. Not to mention he was mad at his mom for hiding his medication after he made several threats of suicide with said pills.He also hated his parents because they wanted him to go to college. All he wanted to do and stay in his basement and smoke weed says he can become a video game designer from his basement.

He was always complain about ships. He hated any het ships and always scream about how gay his muse is. He also did smut dispute being underage at the time and wanted to do smut with one of my other friend muses but he wanted her to change her muse into a guy for the thread so it can be gay.

He always was cry typing and bitching about how people like things that he don't like. I remember one time some one made a rape joke on their personal and it was a close joke with their friends and he threw a bitch fit about how trigger he was. I told him that wasn't really none of his concerns because that's their sense of humor and laughing at something dose not mean agreeing with it. He got pissed at Me and became very passive agressive.

The thing that made me stop talking to him because I refuse to tw boobs. I told him if it made him uncomfortable unfollow but nope he tried to guilt trip me.

After a few months he was kicking up drama in the rp community. This girl was doing a gender bend event on her ask blog and he had a shit fit over it. He and his friends was sending her death threats and when people called him out he was playing victim been 'I'm trans.'

Funny thing is he did the same thing before but it's only ok when he do gender bends.
 
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The Joker

Does not have a girl penis
kiwifarms.net
This girl "Zara" (she actually used her real so I will just call her this) has since deleted her blog since she was whining about her sister finding it...

For almost a year I followed an 18 year old who considered herself a "true" Trans ally. She would do Fucked up shit like write out apologies just for being a cis, white, female. At first it was kind of sad in a pathetic way but she showed her true colors when a rather nice Trans blogger with a large following messaged her and told her she didn't have to do that stuff and that just being supportive was all that she needed to do. Zara flipped out and called the blogger a fake and called her a sellout for having surgery and wearing makeup.

She kind of went off the deep end afterwards, rapidly gaining then losing weight, shaving off her eyebrows and replacing them with fake ones she drew on with odd colors, posting disgusting selfie of her in humiliating positions, and arguing that many cartoon and anime characters were actually trans! Her favorite was Lisa Simpson and she wrote some incredibly disturbed fan fiction about her being molested by Homer for being trans, about Marge mutilating her, and some more fucked up shit.

Later on she complained about her family monitoring her Internet use and going in different types of counsling, not before diagnosing herself with Autism and multiple personality disorder though. One day her blog was just gone...
 

Trucute

that boils my parsnips
kiwifarms.net
I've seen a whole lot of these but I'll just post the best two.

He was pretty normal when I met him, just a general young adult with some home life issues who I met through mutual enjoyment of a game. Pretty solid artist, didn't get too far into the usual tumblr shit. Ran a blog prodding at people's shitty art for said game which was absolutely hilarious to pass the time with. Then everything got weird around when he started honing in way too far on his autism diagnosis. Go figure it's always the 'tism. Shortly after this I learned of a blog of his where he would go full tard. I found it weird that he was posting so much in the actually autistic tag but I was like ok whatever dude.

Then he started drifting into a new group of friends who had clearly drank the tumblr juice. It was starting then that things went from awkward to hysterical.

He abandoned the friends he met through the game we bonded over claiming that we were all abusive and garbage people he had to get away from. Plus he made a post trying to call me out for pedantic bullshit he wouldn't mention at all throughout our friendship that he had problems with. Oh and he blocked me on every outside contact I had with him so I couldn't talk it out with him in private. Then he started changing his urls to be whatever animu character he liked at that time and I believe eventually he started being fictionkin of a Dragon Age character? Or at least he was close to it when I gave up looking due to constant url changes as he wanted to go by that name. He was also now a "true tranny" who wouldn't shut up about it or his autism.

The real fun was when he sperged so hard against FNAF of all things. He was going on about how people should only pirate it because the creator had another game with Christian undertones and therefore he was responsible for all the horrible things people of that religion had ever done. Even though, you know. Some of his friends were Christian. But they're all just abusive and homophobic even though they did nothing but support him.

This one.. I forget his name I swear it was like Bruce or something. He was always really fucking weird, never much cared to speak to him. Constant rants about how horrible and transphobic his family was and he had a weird affinity for koalas and Sniper from TF2. Huge fucking sperg for that OFF game and went so far to make a fan character called Conductor or something that he was constantly drawing. Never paid that much mind as I found the fans of that game annoying as shit.

The next thing I know, I don't talk to him for awhile and unfollow because he was shitting up my dashboard. Theeen he shows up on multiple blogs poking at the social justice idiots. The first time I saw him, I went to go look at his blog and he was now a demiboy tucute who was otherkin with skeletons and koalas. I shit myself laughing this was already going horrible. He had gone on a huge rant about how tranny women were the only ones who deserved support and how horrible tranny men were despite being one. Basically tranny guilt. People called him out on it and laughed at him and he backpedaled apologizing and saying that it was the fault of his family for being so phobic of him.

The next time I saw him pop up was when he called Shrek transphobic which I'm pretty sure wound up in the random tumblr posts thread. I think it was around then that he suddenly became fictionkin with a stupid fucking skeleton from OFF named Dedan.
 
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Rilakkuma

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
kiwifarms.net
Hmm, this one is kinda powerlevely and humiliating for me, but it kind of relates to how out of touch with other people these bitches were. So I was a teenager going through a rough spot and I didn't think anyone really cared. I made a post on my blog about how I was having a bad day. I actually got a message asking if I was okay and if I wanted anyone to talk to. Saying yes was the biggest mistake ever.
I add this girl on skype and we talk and talk about stupid teenage girl things all the time and vent. Until one day she brings up her immense hatred for white people. She herself is white. I, being of mixed heritage am rightfully confused as I have never been exposed to tumblr bullshit on race relations up until this point and tell her that's racist. She berates me telling me that only white people can be racist. Over the next couple of months she would tell me this over and over and over and over. Instead of being a caring and supportive friend she makes me miserable and afraid to go online.

Every time I challenge her viewpoint she keeps telling me how wrong I am. I try to point out the irony of how she a white person was speaking over my personal experiences with racism and telling me it has to be defined her way. I get told off for this. She's made cruel accusations towards the white part of my family and berates me for being upset and offended when she was "stating the facts".

She keeps drilling it into my head how wrong I am and how I'm problematic and need to learn these things that I become depressed to the point where I stop arguing. Nothing matters anymore. I don't care. Why should I even bother having opinions? I get berated even more for being "emotionally manipulative" and she warns me not to do it again.

To put this in perspective, I was an awkward as fuck kid. I didn't have any friends. This chick was really the only person I had to talk to and if I didn't change my ideals to fit hers she would give me a further emotional beatdown when I was already in a shitty place. She bitches about how oppressed her life WILL BE when she graduates from such and such and tries to get a job here and there while ignoring any anecdotes I have about mistreatment from people who aren't white and how the white part of my family can't possibly be good people.

The friendship ended abruptly when I told her that she was making me upset to the point where I felt suicidal and got another guilt trip on how it's my fault for being an emotionally manipulative problematic shitlord.

HAPPY ENDING @Meowthkip woke me up to how much of a royal cunt this person was being to me and I did not deserve this kind of crap and I got help.

This is kind of more of a horror story than lulz. It's startling how easy it is for people with abusive personalities to find people through this website.

EDIT: Oh wait there was lulz, I had completely forgotten. Crazy and friend invited me to a card against humanity game. They got very upset when I kept making offensive card plays. Sadly I was too meek to tell them to fuck off and that's the point of the game.

They were also super into fandom shit. They'd both do cosplay and one of them had an okay cosplay for one thing, everything else was pretty baaaaad. I'd like to think it was because she was a beginner but she had this insistence that it didn't need to be accurate as possible because it was her "interpretation of the character".

Her art was pretty not good, but hey, that's life. I was weirded out that she drew porn with her scribbly childish doodle style. She even went as far as getting her terrible art of a minor character from a game printed on a body pillow from one of those custom websites. She kept showing people and was completely oblivious to how cringey the whole ordeal was.

Icing on the cake after all the crap she put me through and told me not to talk to her again: she mailed me out of the blue like a year later asking if she could use something I wrote in a fanfiction like nothing really happened.
 
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desertfoxgoggles

a hot nazi with a machine gun for a chest
kiwifarms.net
Damnit, son. I've been on tumblr for a good six years now; it's full of lolcows.

A few notable ones I've met whilst roleplaying in different communities on the site.

There was a thirteen-year-old fiction kin who identified as a character from Mad Max and swore by her own life that every character was Autistic in some way or another. I told her she was a fucking idiot (hey, I didn't know her age at that point) and she went totally sick with her posts and her tags until she eventually got her account deleted.

There was a girl I roleplayed with who used to message me sexually explicit messages when we were talking out-of-character to each other. She'd send them to me as if I WAS my character and when I told her I wasn't him so to stop, she just simply couldn't grasp it. She was also a massive drama queen. Suicide threats every week.

There was one person who I RP'd with who instantly began shipping our characters. I had no problem because she was a good writer and our characters gelled but soon she began to act really clingy. Had I not responded in a couple days, she'd send me passive-aggressive messages. If I didn't respond instantly to her fanmail she'd get antsy or weird with me. Eventually I blocked her when she sent me over ten messages while I was at work begging me not to ignore her and that she'd hurt herself if I ignored her. I was at work, that's why I never replied.

Finally, there was a person I never had any contact with but knew from the fandom I lurked in. She was obsessed with one character; to the point of being in love her. All she'd do was post about her, lesbianism and feminism. She hated men with a passion, she'd debate with anyone who didn't like her character and she'd refer to everyone she didn't like as 'problematic'. Sure she doesn't sound that bad here, but, boy was she insane. The things she'd post and her unnecessary aggression were frightening. Especially when she said she had a degree and was over the age of 25!
 

magikarp

but nothing happened!
kiwifarms.net
http://devoncuppycakes.tumblr.com/

It's so crazy because I've been casual acquaintances with this dude for years (mutual follows), but I always kinda had a feeling there was more going on with him. A little recently a thread about him blew up on lolcow. Scammer, e-beggar, raging slut, this guy's got it going on.

He lives in Japan and teaches there I guess, and his parents in the States are going through a financial crisis at the moment. He begs others to give him money to send to them but it's like... bro, you dump TONS of cash on lolita garbage and other cutesy shit and you're telling me that you can't spare any of that fun money for your parents?

"No I can't boo hoo I only make enough money here to live comfortably I can't spare a dime boo hoo". Bull shit.

I knew he was loose but there's also apparently a sex tape or something floating around? Wild stuff, man.
 

Melkor

Turbo Cancer
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've seen a whole lot of these but I'll just post the best two.

He was pretty normal when I met him, just a general young adult with some home life issues who I met through mutual enjoyment of a game. Pretty solid artist, didn't get too far into the usual tumblr shit. Ran a blog prodding at people's shitty art for said game which was absolutely hilarious to pass the time with. Then everything got weird around when he started honing in way too far on his autism diagnosis. Go figure it's always the 'tism. Shortly after this I learned of a blog of his where he would go full tard. I found it weird that he was posting so much in the actually autistic tag but I was like ok whatever dude.

Then he started drifting into a new group of friends who had clearly drank the tumblr juice. It was starting then that things went from awkward to hysterical.

He abandoned the friends he met through the game we bonded over claiming that we were all abusive and garbage people he had to get away from. Plus he made a post trying to call me out for pedantic bullshit he wouldn't mention at all throughout our friendship that he had problems with. Oh and he blocked me on every outside contact I had with him so I couldn't talk it out with him in private. Then he started changing his urls to be whatever animu character he liked at that time and I believe eventually he started being fictionkin of a Dragon Age character? Or at least he was close to it when I gave up looking due to constant url changes as he wanted to go by that name. He was also now a "true tranny" who wouldn't shut up about it or his autism.

The real fun was when he sperged so hard against FNAF of all things. He was going on about how people should only pirate it because the creator had another game with Christian undertones and therefore he was responsible for all the horrible things people of that religion had ever done. Even though, you know. Some of his friends were Christian. But they're all just abusive and homophobic even though they did nothing but support him.

This one.. I forget his name I swear it was like Bruce or something. He was always really fucking weird, never much cared to speak to him. Constant rants about how horrible and transphobic his family was and he had a weird affinity for koalas and Sniper from TF2. Huge fucking sperg for that OFF game and went so far to make a fan character called Conductor or something that he was constantly drawing. Never paid that much mind as I found the fans of that game annoying as shit.

The next thing I know, I don't talk to him for awhile and unfollow because he was shitting up my dashboard. Theeen he shows up on multiple blogs poking at the social justice idiots. The first time I saw him, I went to go look at his blog and he was now a demiboy tucute who was otherkin with skeletons and koalas. I shit myself laughing this was already going horrible. He had gone on a huge rant about how tranny women were the only ones who deserved support and how horrible tranny men were despite being one. Basically tranny guilt. People called him out on it and laughed at him and he backpedaled apologizing and saying that it was the fault of his family for being so phobic of him.

The next time I saw him pop up was when he called Shrek transphobic which I'm pretty sure wound up in the random tumblr posts thread. I think it was around then that he suddenly became fictionkin with a stupid fucking skeleton from OFF named Dedan.
Holy shit dude, I knew that Bruce guy.

I'm pretty sure he was the same guy who drew OFF smut for a while, then got all catty with people calling him out for drawing Elsens (minor NPCS from OFF) with cunts and calling them cunt boys. (If this was a totally different person, ignore this.)

He was just overall autistic as fuck and incredibly rude when real tranny people brought up how shitty he was being.
 

Galaxy Harasser

NO. Magenta horsecock is foreboden.
kiwifarms.net
I followed her too. She was actually really nice and I loved her art. She nuked her tumblr because she wanted to keep her fetish art separate from her real name and career. Funny enough, she got all her student loans paid off by the time she was 21 and was one of the most hardworking and responsible people I've ever seen. She's a weirdo, but in a cool way.
I agree. Despite the stuff I have mentioned about her, she was probably one of the most responsible tumblr users I've ever come across. Worked 3 jobs at once and held herself together pretty well most of the time. The month before she left Tumblr was probably where she really let go and it was very sad to watch.

A while ago, someone asked her best friend, Zan (chibihisagi) about Nemu, and she said she was doing better. So that's good to hear.
 

The Joker

Does not have a girl penis
kiwifarms.net
Another one I have is an autistic blogger that has his entire blog dedicated to Proving that Sterling Archer from "Archer" is autistic.

There was a thirteen-year-old fiction kin who identified as a character from Mad Max and swore by her own life that every character was Autistic in some way or another. I told her she was a fucking idiot (hey, I didn't know her age at that point) and she went totally sick with her posts and her tags until she eventually got her account deleted.
Why can't parents just lock their sperg kids in a basement with a Nintendo ds? It would be much more human than letting them humiliate themselves online.