Personal Lolcows -

FuckedUp

kiwifarms.net
I just remembered this UK sped a couple years younger than me, who joined a Skype group I was co-admin in when I was 15. He was some Christfag (think ChristianU2ber or whatever, not modern /pol/ deus vult) who unironically referred to black people as "monkeys" and got dunked on constantly. In 2016 he started using /pol/ to become cool like the rest of us and managed to get indoctrinated by the HRC shills.

I had a pic of him with an "I need feminism" sign but didn't see it in my images folder, so I think I'd have to dig up a hard drive backup to get it. I remember him looking really autistic, though.
Found the pic:
callum IRL 2.jpg
 

The enigma high

Mission accomplished.
kiwifarms.net
Mmmkay so there's this person on some furry website, let's call her Amber
Pretty much every time she does/says anything it causes drama. But I guess that's to be expected from a bunch of furries. She started out cool, just minding her own business and being the hapless victim of a bunch of immature morons.

Thing is, I think its driven her crazy. She's on some anti psychotics or something (for what I don't know) but they ain't working. At this point she's driven all her former friends away and people are sick of her. It started out with her making wild accusations on a tumblr drama blog for the furry site, now she just calls everyone SJWs for some reason and thinks they hate her or something.

There used to be some people who supported her (hell, I was one of those people once) but now... I don't know. Seems she's just a drama whore now trying to bait someone, anyone to argue with her. Which I did, I suppose, but it was worth it for the lols. I don't know if she'll ever return to being normal (...like she ever was?) but I'm sticking along for the ride.
 

Travis Touchdown Cumsock

What an absolute travesty.
kiwifarms.net
Mmmkay so there's this person on some furry website, let's call her Amber
Pretty much every time she does/says anything it causes drama. But I guess that's to be expected from a bunch of furries. She started out cool, just minding her own business and being the hapless victim of a bunch of immature morons.

Thing is, I think its driven her crazy. She's on some anti psychotics or something (for what I don't know) but they ain't working. At this point she's driven all her former friends away and people are sick of her. It started out with her making wild accusations on a tumblr drama blog for the furry site, now she just calls everyone SJWs for some reason and thinks they hate her or something.

There used to be some people who supported her (hell, I was one of those people once) but now... I don't know. Seems she's just a drama whore now trying to bait someone, anyone to argue with her. Which I did, I suppose, but it was worth it for the lols. I don't know if she'll ever return to being normal (...like she ever was?) but I'm sticking along for the ride.
The person running this throwaway account is this btw: http://www.furvilla.com/profile/29913

"Married" to two cartoon characters and dedicated completely to wasting his money on adoptables and self-insert artwork. Also a manipulative piece of work in general, from my experience.

He and his crony Sadie (KilljoyLights) both have extreme paraphilias and cower inside of secret servers, they are the definition of potential cows with a shit ton to hide. They define themselves by paraphilias and engage in social dogma grooming and gaslighting behavior all the time. They seem to be genuine psychopaths if I'm honest. They are really abusive and dangerous, I'm speaking from experience in getting away from them.
 
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The enigma high

Mission accomplished.
kiwifarms.net
Wrong, I'm afraid. I'm a nobody. Never posted on FVC, and hardly at all on furvilla itself. I try to keep hidden, stay out of drama (until now at least...). But it's nice to see you respond. I was beginning to think you never would.
You do seem to like throwing around accusations though. Would you like to take another random guess? Just pick a random FV player, it would be more accurate than what you're doing now.

Oh, I just checked FV and it looks like you're unbanned! Have fun :)
 
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ArtinglyUnwillingly

Kevin in AC is a pig. All too fitting.
kiwifarms.net
The person running this throwaway account is this btw: http://www.furvilla.com/profile/29913

"Married" to two cartoon characters and dedicated completely to wasting his money on adoptables and self-insert artwork. Also a manipulative piece of work in general, from my experience.

He and his crony Sadie (KilljoyLights) both have extreme paraphilias and cower inside of secret servers, they are the definition of potential cows with a shit ton to hide. They define themselves by paraphilias and engage in social dogma grooming and gaslighting behavior all the time. They seem to be genuine psychopaths if I'm honest. They are really abusive and dangerous, I'm speaking from experience in getting away from them.
I’d love to see proof of this if these people are really that shitty. Though it more sounds like you have some sort of personal vendetta against them than anything else. We’re talking about websites here, cough up them screenshots! You can’t be this massive of a dramamogner without some juice to consume.
Also how do you know for sure that the person you quoted is the person you’re saying they are? Sounds like you’re just flinging shit at a wall and seeing what sticks.
 
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Travis Touchdown Cumsock

What an absolute travesty.
kiwifarms.net
I'm laughing so hard it hurts a little, oh my god... :story:

This is the third sock account that your little cultlet has made. Do you really have nothing better to do with your lives?

PS: This thread be like:

Getting back onto personal lolcows...there's someone at work, I have to deal with him, he's autistic but makes no effort to control his behavior and literally acts like a toddler. Got yelled at for it yesterday lol.
 
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The enigma high

Mission accomplished.
kiwifarms.net
I'm laughing so hard it hurts a little, oh my god... :story:

This is the third sock account that your little cultlet has made. Do you really have nothing better to do with your lives?

PS: This thread be like:

Getting back onto personal lolcows...there's someone at work, I have to deal with him, he's autistic but makes no effort to control his behavior and literally acts like a toddler. Got yelled at for it yesterday lol.
Not going to provide any proof of your claims? Then I suppose I will. I would suggest anyone interested in this drama visit this site: https://furvillaconfessions.tumblr.com/search/Kevin
It's a wild ride. But here are some choice bits:
(And just now I realize these links don't work right on the tumblr app...oh well)

Here we have a dumb post that has Kevin going nuts in the comments and making another of her wild accusations with no proof (seeing a pattern here?)

Someone calls her out, and she responds by saying a hive mind is stalking her, definitely not crazy sounding at all.

Kevin "leaving" FV for the millionth time.

And here we have a nice little rant in the comments. I hope you enjoyed my little presentation.
 

ArtinglyUnwillingly

Kevin in AC is a pig. All too fitting.
kiwifarms.net
I bet $5 that Travis Touchdown and enigma high are the same person on different accounts acting out some weird sketch to make one account look like people are going after it. Why would someone be so reactionary otherwise? Especially here? It’s a good show though.
 
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The enigma high

Mission accomplished.
kiwifarms.net
I bet $5 that Travis Touchdown and enigma high are the same person on different accounts acting out some weird sketch to make one account look like people are going after it. Why would someone be so reactionary otherwise? Especially here? It’s a good show though.
Plot twist: we're all Kevin on different accounts
Seriously though, if anyone actually knew who I am, I'll give you all 14 thousand of my FD. Not like I'll be using it anymore.
 
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ArtinglyUnwillingly

Kevin in AC is a pig. All too fitting.
kiwifarms.net
Plot twist: we're all Kevin on different accounts
Seriously though, if anyone actually knew who I am, I'll give you all 14 thousand of my FD. Not like I'll be using it anymore.
Yes, we are all apparently Kevin, even myself because I hate myself. Kevins all around!

I don't even know what y'all are even talking about. I'm just here for the ride. Though between this Kevin dude and you my good sir/mam/ Kevin guy on a separate account, you've definitely brought more to the table on Kevin being a lolcow than anything else.
 

cryptidfuck

Convincing the world that aliens exist
kiwifarms.net
Yes, we are all apparently Kevin, even myself because I hate myself. Kevins all around!

I don't even know what y'all are even talking about. I'm just here for the ride. Though between this Kevin dude and you my good sir/mam/ Kevin guy on a separate account, you've definitely brought more to the table on Kevin being a lolcow than anything else.
> Kevin being a lolcow than anything else
I've been saying this for the longest time but nobody takes me seriously.

I too, am a Kevin.
Fear me.

more of Rocket Man, this time featuring the most violent tantrum I've ever seen him have (apart from the thunderstorm freakout)
previous instalments:
an introduction to Rocket Man
Rocket Man races me to work
Rocket Man bawls over a broken umbrella
Rocket Man eats and drinks

a couple of days ago I was in the wash-out area on the shop floor when Rocket Man came flying out of the office and into the break room, shouting, wailing and snapping his fingers; I could see through the window that he was sat on the sofa red-faced, red-eyed and in the grip of a tantrum

when I went into the office a few minutes later he was lying on his back, on the floor, being instructed by my colleague F (his tard wrangler by default) to take deep breaths and calm down; he eventually did so, and went back to his previous task, helping F with customer returns, but while he was doing that he was loudly ranting (he has trouble with volume control) about how he has the worst luck in the world, he never gets what he wants, he's a walking disaster, he'll probably lose this job, he'll have to spend thousands of pounds on therapy (there are NHS-backed organisations that can provide this service for free), and generally reciting a whole litany of misery

after he'd gone for his dinner, I found out the root cause of his tantrum, and to be quite honest I was gobsmacked

like many (man)children, Rocket Man has a Nintendo Switch at home, and has recently got into a game for the Switch which has collectible cards, some of which are rarer than others; in the last week or two he has also discovered ebay, and bought a whole load of packs of these cards

the reason for his tantrum? the packs he bought didn't have any rare cards in them

if this is how he reacts to card games, god only knows how he'll (not) handle something serious like a bereavement
The only game I can think of that has cards like that is LightSeekers, and I'm pretty sure you can buy individual cards for cheap on ebay, it's a scam to buy blind packs like that. I'm on the spectrum too but come on, trading cards? Are you fucking kidding me?
 
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An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
kiwifarms.net
The only game I can think of that has cards like that is LightSeekers, and I'm pretty sure you can buy individual cards for cheap on ebay, it's a scam to buy blind packs like that. I'm on the spectrum too but come on, trading cards? Are you fucking kidding me?
it wasn't that one - apparently it was a children's game (I heard the details second hand, and my knowledge of console games is fuck-all squared)
as I've said before, your man has had a very sheltered upbringing and is quite literally a child in an adult body

physically he's about five years younger than me, but as far as the mental age gap goes I'm old enough to be his grandfather
 
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ArtinglyUnwillingly

Kevin in AC is a pig. All too fitting.
kiwifarms.net
I have never seen a bigger clash of personalities fight than what I witnessed today at work.

A setup,at my job I have these two coworkers, let’s call them M and C, they do not get along at all. C is kindof an older woman, she has no ability to hold her tongue, and is rather ‘assertive’ and nosy. M minds her own for the most part, but is tough and also doesn’t know when to shut up. Up until this point they have been able to at least tolerate each other. Today was apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Myself and another coworker had been waiting to clock in, as we had gotten in quite early and still had a bit of time. C comes in around ten minutes before clock in time. Mind you, none of us really talk to each other, and C despite having headphones on insists on playing and singing her music rather loudly. Mild annoyance, but I don’t comment.

Now it’s two minutes till clock in, M comes in and immediately clocks in. C fucking loses it on her. Says that ‘we’ were waiting in line for the time clock. Like bitch, first off don’t drag me into this! Secondly, why do you care? She’s clocking in two minutes early? You could have done the same thing! C continues to berate M, saying that she doesn’t respect lines, and she shouldn’t have clocked in. M decides to fight back, saying that no one else seemed in a hurry to clock in (which no one was we were early) and that the rule of thumb is to clock in a max of five minutes early (which is true) and tells her to mind her own business. C drops to petty insults before M walks off, and then decides to loudly comment that I can clock in first. Again, dragging me into this when I’m just wanting to mind my own.

Anyways I get down to the work area and they start up again! M starts yelling at C, and C is yelling back. Still about the stupid time clock! These bitches are seriously fighting over the privilege of being able to come to work. I think C’s initial comment was uncalled for, but this is getting out of hand. Supervisor comes in and breaks it up, but this shit shouldn’t have started in the first place.


UPDATE:

Turns out C was moved to a different area entirely from the rest of us today. And M went home because she was so affected by the entire exchange. Personally I feel sorry for M, mainly because this isn’t the first time C has gone after her for literally nothing. I mean who attacks someone over taking over a work spot that you walked away from? Obviously C. I dunno what is up with this lady, but she needs an attitude adjustment.
 
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DungeonMaster

kiwifarms.net
Since Year 7 i've had to contend with this son-of-a-bitch whom I shall call DickGobbler. The first thing I'll note about him is his effeminate, high-pitched voice and condescending tone which he uses to gaslight anyone who calls him out on his bullshit. He speaks to everyone younger and/or shorter than him (To this day he subconsciously thinks of his lankiness as requisite for authority) as though he's speaking to some retarded toddler. But when he annoys a teacher directly he adopts a submissive stance, hands covering his mouth, and does the puppy dog eyes, on the brink of tears. He never apologizes for his actions but instead ingratiates himself in the face of authority. DickGobbler is the most pathetic, amoral cunt of a man I have had the displeasure of encountering in meatspace, and I would not be surprised, nor would I be in any way disappointed, if he gets in trouble with the law one of these days.

His most distinctive trait, perhaps, was his disregard for other's privacy combined and obsession for gathering other people's personal information. Zero respect, for anyone, unless he was scared out of his shit. I was eleven years old when he looked through everyone's school diary and memorized everyone's emails and phone numbers, not to mention their addresses. That day I was totally unprepared for what was to come. After the weekends, DickGobbler had looked up everyone's houses on google maps and printed some of them out, including mine.

And he didn't stop there. He looked up everyone's pages on facebook and followed all their family members. You see, the only thing that DickGobbler is proud of is his monumental memory as something he is proud of, as a way to assert his dominance on everyone else. He probably knows my entire genealogy (An astounding feat, considering my East Asian heritage). He regularly went up to people and straight-up told them things he learned from their family member's facebook profiles for no reason except to make himself look smart. He especially liked talking about my sister. This gave him an ego trip. And when it did his face contorted into a hideous grin, with beady eyes that expressed nothing but egotistical self-satisfaction.

DickGobbler has never taken anything said to him to heart. He views everyone around him as a potential source of entertainment. The concept of a reputation is so beyond him he'd constantly ask paternalistic and intimate questions about things that don't concern him at lunchtime from someone who told him to fuck off at interval. (For the last goddamn time, DickGobbler, I haven't learned to drive. I'm one year younger than you. I might be a baby, but at least I don't fail half my internals, you precocious imbecile. Get a hobby.) It was almost as though he was trying to be everyone's mother by infantilizing anyone shorter than him, implicitly or explicitly.

He is insufferably smug. He likes scrutinizing certain people's behaviour so he can arrogantly nitpick them. Whenever I made a minor mistake he tilts his head back and croons to me like he's the adult in the room. Then snitches about it to the teacher, who gave zero fucks because I wasn't disrupting anyone. He learned everything about human interaction from British children's media. At least it wasn't anime. He regularly quoted Horrid Henry and Home Alone whenever he felt the need to assert his paternalism.

Also, he liked talking about the humiliating things he wished he'd do to his sisters. Sometimes sexual, other times violent.

For some reason he was above the school rules. He got away with everything like a moral houdini. He once groped a girl in the locker bay yet he got off scotfree and bragged about it. I don't know who his parents are blowing to give him this kind of immunity but I wouldn't be surprised if it were someone on the Board of Trustees. Seriously, what kind of mental disorder does he have to have to be this unaccountable for his actions?

I have heard very little from him as of late. But when I was in year 12, he forgot it was Mufti Day (It's when you wear casual clothes to school instead of the uniform). And by interval my friends who were unfortunate enough to share classes with him told me he went apeshit. He called his parents eight times, disregarding the fact that they work at the opposite side of town and it takes them two hours to drive to there. Then his phone got confiscated before interval. He threw a goddamn fit. While my friends were telling me about what happened, he skipped across the field, flapping his arms, making a teeth-gritting, eyes-closed face like there were flies up his ass, wailed "I FUCKING HATE MY DAD!!!"
 

Tatu Carreta2

kiwifarms.net
One member of my family has lolcow tendencies but I dont think he has an internet presence(or at least I dont know about it). I dont want to say his name,he is 31 years old but has only worked for about 9 months of his life,he has mystical delusions,is extremly inmature and a serial moocher. Sorry if this is a little long:

-His mom is a doctor and got him his first job at 18 because she knew the owner of a pastry store,the job was only four hours a day three times a week,but he still skipped worked sometimes and he was so stupid that he would ruin part of the production because of did things wrong and he complained how everyone was always on his ass(the idea that they did that because he fucked everything up didnt occur to him) and he ended up quitting after about 3 months.

-He got a second job about 10 years later as a dishwasher at a restaurant,he had to work like 12 hours a day for shit pay. You might think "thats good at least he got a job" but no,he only got a job because he wanted to save money to go backpacking through south america with his hippie friends (He lives in Argentina and went though several countries in his trip). He quit his job 6 months after he got it and went backpacking for several months with his friends and spent all of his money.

-He started smoking weed in his early 20s and because of that he became the biggest hippie stereotype you can think off,he is a 140lb vegan,he belives in every woo woo you can imagine,he has a picture of a catholic saint in his desk,he has healing crystal and stones,and he practices tarot,he is into reiki,chinese tui na,reflexiology,japanse shiatsu,holistic healing,translation of light,etc. His father died and he is not using his doctors office anymore,so he uses his dad doctors office as an office where people that belive in woo woo non-sense come in and he practices those things on them or gives them massages. You might think "well at least he is making money that way" but he only has like 2 or 3 customers a week,and he charges 8 USD per session so I would be surprised if he is making 1/3 of minimum wage.

-He is extremly inmature,he does autistic things that a child would do,for example one time he saw my cat,flexed his knees as he hunched over,and started flailing his arms saying "KITTY KITTY WOOHOHOHO", another example of his behaviour is when he was talking to my aunt and randomly flexed his knees,got in a squat position and started rocking side to side.

-He is a socialist that belives we should redistribute wealth,last year we went to a fancy restaurant for my birthday and at the end they gave us survey and asked us to fill it,normal stuff,how good was the service? did you like the food? anything we can improve? and he wrote "you should redistribute the wealth". Let me remind you that he only worked for 9 months in the 13 years since he has been an adult and he dropped out of university in his first year,he is typical comunist stereotype of the lazy leech that doesnt work but wants other people money.He has a che guevara shirt and che guevara flag on his room. He didnt said it directly but for the things he says I infer that he thinks having a job is being exploited.

-He mentioned me one time in a conversation that doesnt base his ideas on evidence.He said something like "I used to use evidence,but now I dont anymore" as if that was a good thing.

-Everyone in the family enables him,especially his mom,everyone in the family belives in woo woo so they cant bring themselves to tell him that what he is doing with his "holistic healing" and "reiki massages" is a waste of time because all of them belive in it,he knows that his mom is never going to kick him out of the house and when she dies he is going to inherit about 3 properties(in argentina that like 100 years of minimum wage,so he knows that if he gets a job he will get less money than with inheritance,and he doesnt want to go university,so he is just mooching of his mom until she dies so he never has to work a day in his life).

-He is very narcissistic,he always belive he is right about everything and every time I see him interacting with his mom he treats her like shit,he is spoiled because he never had any responsabilities and knows he doesnt have to grow up because mom will take care of him all his life and will give him more money when she dies that he cloud ever make by working. He talks to people as if he was smart and inteligent but he is a literal communist that never had a job or read a serious book.He is petty and will use any situation,no matter how small,to tell you that you have to do something and how you are making mistakes and need to own up and be responsible,he does that as a way to exert power over people when he is a mess of a person.

-He is a vegan,uses "neutral language" that means he speaks and writes without assuming people gender,instead of saying "nosotros" he says "nosotres",he is a feminist,and a SJW in everything you can imagine.

-He used to do "clown classes",I think its because it gives him a font to act autistic and childish without people thinking he is autistic and childish,he has pictures on his facebook with a clown nose making exceptional faces and the soysmile.

-He thinks he is "brown" even though both his parents are white,maybe because he thinks that makes him opressed and cool. Also when he is with new people he starts talking like a poor brown person because he thinks that using poor non-white person words and phrases makes him cool. Oh and he listen to cringe "rap battles".

Edit: I deleted a few things that were not as interesting,I hope you enjoyed reading them.
Update on my chronical NEET,mooching brother with mystical delusions: You guys know about Corona virus right? here in Argentina we have around 40 cases,I showed my brother and my mom stats about italy and germany,germany had 16 infected 21 days ago and now it has 3700,and italy had 150 23 days ago and now it has 20k,hundreds are dying in Italy per day and they have thousands of new infected per day.

I explained to my brother in no unclear terms about this situation and how its going to get a lot worse in a few weeks and thats why I bought supplies of various types and im going to buy more tomorrow before the panic hits and people realize we are going to be like italy soon,I told him to stay in the house and just play games and do everything online and to stop giving people massages and stop going to mystical bullshit classes,and you know what he said? my autistic dumb fuck brother told me the following:

"its just like any other flu",that there is nothing to worry about, I responded "are you only going to take this seriously when we have thousands of infected? you can kill me or mom and also yourself,if we have 20k infected like in Italy and dozens of thousands more that are just not presenting symptoms would you still go out?" and he responded "Yes". And my mom is so weak that he is basically going to let him do that, I told my mom to tell my brother that he can go live in my unocuppied dad clinic(where he does massages) if he wants to do that but and be on his own because this tard is going to live life as normal in the middle of a pandemic even if we have dozens of thousands of infected because he is a fucking tard that thinks this is a nothing burger,I migth go live with my aunt and uncle and take all my supplies with me,jesus chirst,what a fucking mongoloid of a brother I have.

Also he said "in times like these we need healers" because he is a tard that belives that he has magical mystical powers that can heal people with reiki and tantric shit.His stupidity is going to infect me and my mom,maybe not me because I might go to live with my aunt and uncle because of this,but my mom is 65 so if she gets infected she is fucked,jesus Santiago,you fucking retard.
 

Swiss46

Halo fag
kiwifarms.net
I am friends with a family of white trash rednecks who live around me. Usually I ignore them when they contact me, but occasionally I'll let them talk to me to laugh at the retarded things they do. Here is a non comprehensive list.

1. Dropping their 12 year old daughter out of school to try and get engaged to a 16 year old guy.
2. Secretly recording one of the twilight movies in theaters and several years later still using that shitty cam footage to watch it.
3. having a tree collapse on their house and just ignoring it because it didn't completely smash the roof.
4. buying 4 Xbox ones "just in case".
5. Being to exceptional for welfare, so they instead have a complex chain of baby daddies to get money.
6. Owning a violent pit bull who attacks people that visit them. also letting that dog piss in their beds.
7. Using an Industrial air conditioner they "Found" cool their house.
 

Quiet Dignity

Basically stuck in an endless buying food cycle
kiwifarms.net
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