Personal Lolcows -

Mr Himmler

Reichsminister für Arschlochbilder
kiwifarms.net
Anthony fantano certainly isn’t only a personal lolcow, but his incessant need to shove his shitty opinions down the throats of his fans on social media is just gross. On top of his shitty takes no one wanted, he retweets and follows a bunch of lefties on his social media. He posts PARAGRAPHS of fucking text on his instagram about bullshit no one wants to hear about usually under a slideshow of him making goofy faces and article screenshots. This man blows so much hot air up his own ass regarding both his musical and political tastes someone should resurrect Zeppelin and find a way to utilize him for something other being a fucking snob.

If you’re unfamiliar with him, he started YouTube reviewing music in the most unaware snobby way possible. The dude thinks his opinions are fucking gold or something. These days he uses his platform as a fucking soapbox for his equally snobbish political views. Its like he doesn’t understand how to separate his brand, theneedledrop, from himself, a stuck-up asshole who thinks he knows everything. Oh yeah he’s also a vegan and sprinkles in rants about that in his videos. I’m surprised no one has made a lolcow thread about him before.
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GOOFY FACE = FUNNY LOOOOLLLL XD
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Chaos Theorist

It would be spiteful To put jellyfish in a trifle
kiwifarms.net
Anthony fantano certainly isn’t only a personal lolcow, but his incessant need to shove his shitty opinions down the throats of his fans on social media is just gross. On top of his shitty takes no one wanted, he retweets and follows a bunch of lefties on his social media. He posts PARAGRAPHS of fucking text on his instagram about bullshit no one wants to hear about usually under a slideshow of him making goofy faces and article screenshots. This man blows so much hot air up his own ass regarding both his musical and political tastes someone should resurrect Zeppelin and find a way to utilize him for something other being a fucking snob.

If you’re unfamiliar with him, he started YouTube reviewing music in the most unaware snobby way possible. The dude thinks his opinions are fucking gold or something. These days he uses his platform as a fucking soapbox for his equally snobbish political views. Its like he doesn’t understand how to separate his brand, theneedledrop, from himself, a stuck-up asshole who thinks he knows everything. Oh yeah he’s also a vegan and sprinkles in rants about that in his videos. I’m surprised no one has made a lolcow thread about him before.
Man has opinions I disagree with so it makes him a lolcow

hmmmmm
 

Mr Himmler

Reichsminister für Arschlochbilder
kiwifarms.net
Man has opinions I disagree with so it makes him a lolcow

hmmmmm
No, thats not the reason. The reason is that he is a snob. Lefties are a dime a dozen, but Fantano is particularly snobbish about everything he says. I could have very well picked out his reviews and shown how much he’s up his own ass about himself.
 

Argh My Cigar

Knoxville World's Fair 1983
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A couple of weeks pass and P hurts herself on the job. P tells me how fucking weird it was that B kept insisting she give him her house keys so he could go wake up her children. Of course, P said no.
How in the everlasting fuck did she not quit on the spot? I understand being between a rock and a hard place as far as paying the bills is concerned, but jesus fuck. I would’ve bailed the moment the neighbor informed me that they were a sex offender.

Your friend seems like a pretty tolerant person to be able to put up with that sort of client.
 
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Sailor Mars

your average weeb
kiwifarms.net
How in the everlasting fuck did she not quit on the spot? I understand being between a rock and a hard place as far as paying the bills is concerned, but jesus fuck. I would’ve bailed the moment the neighbor informed me that they were a sex offender.

Your friend seems like a pretty tolerant person to be able to put up with that sort of client.
Well, she likes to think positively and she felt bad for her client (his wife was her client, not the sex offender).
 

KingFrampt

The scourge of man
kiwifarms.net
There's this guy call Suicide Sux (real name Cornell something) that I like to check in on every now and then, he doesn't do anything particularly funny but he goes on long completely incoherent rants on YouTube when hes off his meds, he served 5 years in prison for beating the fuck out of someone when he was a teenager (he explains everything here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AzrG72pgBU)

Summary
  1. His son overdosed / killed himself, he blames himself for it and says hes an accessory to murder
  2. He claims to be gay, which is kinda confusing cause he was dating a transgender 'woman'
  3. He has bipolar but refuses to take the meds
  4. His transgender wife/husband/whatever was arrested shortly after their wedding date because they were an illegal immigrant(?)
  5. He goes on huge sprees of uploading vids while hes off his meds, uploading as many as 100 videos in just a few days, he usually deletes em though so you gotta act fast.
  6. He has a vendetta against some random judge
He hasn't uploaded in awhile, not sure if he's changed YouTube accounts, got help or worse. Just wanted to put this here cause he's super unknown (though, I guess theres a lot of crazies on YouTube)

[edit]

Facebook | Archive
Eviction Notice | Archive

Apparently police got a warrant on his house for the constant harassment so that's probably why he doesn't upload anymore, date checks out
 
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Nekoi.Inukuma.00

just a d00d
kiwifarms.net
I've got two in particular that stick out: First one just suffers from massive TDS. There's other reasons he's exceptional, but what I really want to cover is the other personal cow(s). A whole community that probably deserves a spot in the dead ass LARP community thread, if this Facebook group doesn't deserve a thread on its own. There's reasons, aside from economic ones, I don't go to events anymore. This is one of them.

So, there's this Facebook group for discussions around Live Action RolePlay (LARP). I used to know at least one of the original founders, but many of the original admins fucked right off as the place spiraled into having the reputation of being probably the worst LARP community on the internet. Considering the cultures of many of the games I've played, that's saying a lot. Let me tell ya about LARP Haven.

Most of it is pretty boring, costuming and prop construction posts, LARP stories, memes, event announcements, buy/sell and other shilling, etc. However, probably once a week there is *some* kind of dust up around social justice related topics that turns into an utter dumpster fire. Last week it was that viral twitter post about racist tropes in D&D Orcs.

If it's not SJW BS, it's something like "parlor LARP vs boffer LARP" or "Euro-LARP vs American-style LARP"... fuck, I think I saw a "lightest-touch vs full-contact combat" thread this week. Sometimes there is some genuine drama with one game or another, like the time someone thought a game based The Handmaiden's Tale would make a good feminist LARP. Or the drama around a $500/ticket LARP organizer going bankrupt because it turned out no one wants to go to one of your events when one of your writers turns out to be a creeper. Seriously, reading this group is that stupid sometimes. Oh and goddamn LARP YouTubers.

There are a couple of third rails in the group, like believing "drow makeup is not blackface"; that opinion will get ya a ban. Using "the G---- word", as in "thieving wee gypsies"... that's a ban. I think any "LARP requires costuming" memes are unwelcome for being non-inclusive, even though this is the group that meme was coined in... and I think the guy who coined that meme is still banned from the group.

Needless to say, the place isn't always a dumpster fire... but when it is, you'd better bring a lot of popcorn. The theadnaughts in there have thoroughly convinced me that Facebook is an absolutely shittily designed website for shitty people.
 

Massively Strong Greed

Thanks for the money, dummy!
kiwifarms.net
Got another story; I’ve brought this guy up before in the Mr. Enter thread, but whatever.
This guy used to be friends with one of my friends for a while. One day, the two are playing GTA Online, my friend angrily shouts “I’m gonna kill you” within the context of the game. I shit you not, the lolcow proceeds to take my friend to court and my friend gets put on probation because the lolcow was just so TRIGGERED. As such, they no longer associate with each other.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
Lately, my neighbour has been an endless source of entertainment/aggrivation. He sits on his deck and yells racial slurs at anyone that passes his house, even those of his own race. Today he called me a "fucking chink", which was confusing, since I'm very white looking. I yelled back that "cracker" would be more appropriate.

He also cannot fucking figure out how to garden. One day I came out and my lawn was soaking. This was odd, since there had been no rain that day. He'd put a hose in his garden and left it on all night, because he thought "the more water the better" when it came to plants.

He is afraid of the internet. Not certain sites, but the internet itself. He covers his windows in foil and once yelled at me because I had wifi. I thougt he wanted to steal it, but no. He said it was making him sick. This is why I think he isn't on the farms yet- he would totally sperg on the internet if it didn't scare him.

Today he yelled at me for smoking a bong on my property and out of the way of public view (he can see me from his deck though.) He came out and told me I was a dirty-ass nigger and that I should watch out for the kids. I don't have any and neither does he. He's not dangerous so I just sit and chuckle when he acts like a loon.
 

Ghost of Wesley Willis

Whooping Batman's Ass in Heaven
kiwifarms.net
I got a good one right here.

In my more unfortunate days in the brony fandom, there was a chatroom of a forum I used frequently. This was around early 2012, near the time of the peak of the fandom.

You had the usual sort of brony autism you’d expect on a forum dedicated to animated pastel equines, but there was this one user who stuck out like a sore thumb because of her frequent schizoposting interrupting circlejerk sessions about the show. Whenever she joined the chat, she would immediately start sperging out about how the Russian government had bugged her house and had a plan to kill her. She claimed to be a Russian living in the UK, along with having ties to the Russian mafia, and even singlehandedly fending off operatives from the FSB and MVD when they "invaded" her house one night, with nothing more than a kitchen knife and a lead pipe, despite these said operatives being armed with AKs and body armor.

Nobody ever took her seriously, whenever you questioned her sanity, she’d start sperging out about how you’d be targeted next for assassination or some other shit, before it devolved into rambling about the impending apocalypse. Eventually, the moderators started getting sick of her shit and banned her from the chat for a couple days, only for her to stir more shit up when her ban expired. This went on and on for a couple weeks. When she was banned from the chatroom, she’d go on the forums outside of the chatroom and made even more detailed schizoposts about the end times and how it would start with the restoration of the Soviet Union. The mods were still tired of this rambling and started deleting her posts, partially for their incoherent nature, but also posting it in threads with different topics.

This all ended when the chatroom was closed down about a month after this and she just flat out disappeared from the forums. To this day, I still wonder if this was an actual schizo or an absolutely dedicated troll.
 

derpi

Shaped like a girl
kiwifarms.net
Used to go to law school with this guy. He got kicked out for domestic violence, shocking absolutely nobody. Won’t bother providing dox because he does it himself wherever he posts.
He’s obsessed with building his “brand” and believes in some wild conspiracies (anti-vaxx, anything Alex Jones says, aliens). He’s got serious daddy issues and likes to make sure you know he’s not gonna be like his womanizing daddy when he grows up.
Every time he would get called on in class he would be unprepared, swear at his law professors, and generally make an ass of himself. Absolute failure of a gunner that got laughed at whenever he volunteered an answer.
One girl reported him to administration for flashing her. He was really into letting girls know that his penis is average at best. Creeped a lot of us out with his overtly sexual behavior.
One of his more disgusting habits during class was chewing on a cigar through the lecture. Made the entire classroom reek and just looked nasty.
Up until now his online presence has been nonexistent with the exception of his Instagram and pornhub. He doesn’t really know how to use a lot of social media beyond the basics but what little he does post is schizophrenic gold.
His insta is full of generic tryhard “I’m an entrepreneur!” posting. When he discovered you could post multiple images in one post he began uploading normal posts with conspiratard memes tossed in.
The pornhub was a weird one. He used his real name on it. His girlfriend doesn’t shave. Unfortunately it was discovered when he got kicked out and he rage deleted it after a bunch of irl alogs began pestering him about it.
After getting kicked out of law school he moved back to Louisiana with the girl he allegedly beat the shit out of.
Today he uploaded his first YouTube video.
I present to my fellow kiwis:
The Xan John Show
 

Lonely Grave

naked and alone, we die
kiwifarms.net
Used to live in the same college dorm with this cow - literally, considering her substantial girth. She was the end-all wrecking ball of everything - natural deathtouch to everything social. Any 'friends' she had were at best acquaintances and it was obvious her presence was actively shunned or at least barely tolerated. She would attach herself to certain groups without any kind of invitation and butt into conversations without a care, then proceed to openly trash whatever they were talking about or liked if they didn't line up to her interests.

There was this one time when she attached herself to a group of MtG players spontaneously, watched them play in the cafeteria and then went on a long rant about the sexist illustrations on the cards. Needless to say the MtG group rid themselves of her by quickly by breaking up the party whenever she popped up with made-up excuses.

There were several DnD groups in the dorm community and she loved to relate her own weird, edgy fanfiction-esque fantasies whenever they met in the common areas to play or theorycraft. She thoroughly creeped everyone out with these stories and would constantly find herself barred from open games for this reason among others.

By far the worst thing she did personally to me was when I was watching TV in the lounge area with my then-GF and she asked to talk to me privately for a minute. She went on to tell me that my GF was 'easy' and 'didn't deserve me'. I listened in silence and went back to watching TV, but I was livid inside. The next day I told my GF who was similarly furious, both of us resolving to never talk to her again. She didn't do much else by the end of the year, but I did hear that she had suffered several backlashes for her dickish ways and had largely retreated from the college social scene.
 

Floppy Baby

This is not America's Next Top Best Friend!
kiwifarms.net
I keep tabs on someone who posts on the Neoboards frequently (Neopets in-side forums, yes I know autistic) who is a 20-something (maybe older) person pretending to be an 8-year-old boy due to "trauma" and acts as though it's some sort of healthy coping mechanism. They proclaim themself to be obsessed with mayonnaise and rats and carry a stuffed bear everywhere. This person bitches on the Neoboards of all places about the people in their life and claims to "actually be a very hateful person."

Anyway, here's a thread they posted in talking about how they had head lice for five years straight and treated them as friends and were distraught when their stepmother forced them to wash their hair to get rid of them.
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yasscat

picture a cat that is also a bumblebee
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Used to go to law school with this guy. He got kicked out for domestic violence, shocking absolutely nobody. Won’t bother providing dox because he does it himself wherever he posts.
He’s obsessed with building his “brand” and believes in some wild conspiracies (anti-vaxx, anything Alex Jones says, aliens). He’s got serious daddy issues and likes to make sure you know he’s not gonna be like his womanizing daddy when he grows up.
Every time he would get called on in class he would be unprepared, swear at his law professors, and generally make an ass of himself. Absolute failure of a gunner that got laughed at whenever he volunteered an answer.
One girl reported him to administration for flashing her. He was really into letting girls know that his penis is average at best. Creeped a lot of us out with his overtly sexual behavior.
One of his more disgusting habits during class was chewing on a cigar through the lecture. Made the entire classroom reek and just looked nasty.
Up until now his online presence has been nonexistent with the exception of his Instagram and pornhub. He doesn’t really know how to use a lot of social media beyond the basics but what little he does post is schizophrenic gold.
His insta is full of generic tryhard “I’m an entrepreneur!” posting. When he discovered you could post multiple images in one post he began uploading normal posts with conspiratard memes tossed in.
The pornhub was a weird one. He used his real name on it. His girlfriend doesn’t shave. Unfortunately it was discovered when he got kicked out and he rage deleted it after a bunch of irl alogs began pestering him about it.
After getting kicked out of law school he moved back to Louisiana with the girl he allegedly beat the shit out of.
Today he uploaded his first YouTube video.
I present to my fellow kiwis:
The Xan John Show
...did we go to the same law school?
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
Lately, my neighbour has been an endless source of entertainment/aggrivation. He sits on his deck and yells racial slurs at anyone that passes his house, even those of his own race. Today he called me a "fucking chink", which was confusing, since I'm very white looking. I yelled back that "cracker" would be more appropriate.

He also cannot fucking figure out how to garden. One day I came out and my lawn was soaking. This was odd, since there had been no rain that day. He'd put a hose in his garden and left it on all night, because he thought "the more water the better" when it came to plants.

He is afraid of the internet. Not certain sites, but the internet itself. He covers his windows in foil and once yelled at me because I had wifi. I thougt he wanted to steal it, but no. He said it was making him sick. This is why I think he isn't on the farms yet- he would totally sperg on the internet if it didn't scare him.

Today he yelled at me for smoking a bong on my property and out of the way of public view (he can see me from his deck though.) He came out and told me I was a dirty-ass nigga and that I should watch out for the kids. I don't have any and neither does he. He's not dangerous so I just sit and chuckle when he acts like a loon.
My neighborcow has struck again. He seems to have ramped up his particular brand of crazy. He came by and insisted I turn off the internet. I refused because... of course I did. He went home and started throwing random objects onto my lawn. I just sell anything worthwhile and put anything else in the trash, but he thinks he's annoyingi nstead of being amusing. I'm waiting to find out if he gets evicted post covid.
 
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