Personal Lolcows -

Ophiophagus

kiwifarms.net
So I used to be friends with someone on a petsite - she used to be normal but suddenly drastically changed into a delusional mess after she got banned from it
She was a 26 year old woman obsessed with Travis Touchdown, triggered by the mention of aliens and dragons laying eggs - and believes aliens (who also happen to also be Travis Touchdown?) cured her non-existent intersex condition

She also believes some furry sites have a personal vendetta against her, that they're trying to kill her, that they hacked her friends accounts to manipulate her and so on

Hard to know if she's genuinely mentally ill or doing this for attention - I sway more to the former, but she is a known attention seeker
 

bonitoflakeprincess

sys failure
kiwifarms.net
would a man who use to be "peace,love, meditation, prayer, crystals, good vibes yoga" and watching some guy have a bunch of young girls enamored with him as he play is guitaur, turning into a (sperging?) antisemetic-homophobic-antivaccine, transphobic, anti public school, anti medication/drug (except for that DMT) right wing Christian? I don't know what he is up to. but his "mr. kumbya, peace, love yoga, good vibes" was annoying to me, so I thought it would be fun for him to go dark.

but one of his kids died last year in a car crash.(one of the good kids)

if you want to know, just look up "boycott evolvefest"

he used to be in my neighborhood. so I only interacted with him when he would do yoga handstands near the beach and be all for that light and love. so not really my lolcow.
 

bonitoflakeprincess

sys failure
kiwifarms.net
i can't edit my post. I somehow forgot this guy also was a bit school shooting hoaxer. he needs to see dead kids to believe any of them ever happend.
 

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO

HERE WE GO
kiwifarms.net
i've recently become aquainted with quite the pair of cows

one is a woman, obsessed with the barbie aesthetic and insecure about her appearance to the point where she regularly photoshops her pictures with the intent of making her nose barely visible. very prone to mental breakdowns, oversharing, and seemingly unaware of why people only view her as either an easy bang or an object of ridicule
the other is an overweight middle aged man with clear mental impairments, horny every moment of the day and willing to make very humiliating things, and i mean VERY humiliating, in order to get the attention of the ladies. he's also keeping this act where we're supposed to believe that the porn videos he posts wherever are him and that he's some unmatched sex god

now, i won't go too deep with the details about both of them individually (i've seen the asshole of one and seen the other cry for an unconfortable amount of time, feel free to pick which is which) but i've seen them give their very best when they're put together in a group chat, with other people having the privilege of partecipating in the mess that is their life against their will. the woman will go on and on and on about how her life is miserable, how she hates herself, how her sex life sucks and yadda yadda, only to be met with the immediate reply of the man, sending her a voice recording that usually goes along the lines of "hey beautiful send me pictures of you naked lets fuck without condom i fuck all the women lets goooo!", rendering any attempt at talking about the woman's feeling kaputt. it's such a sad yet entertaining show, and it only gets better with every time it repeats
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
My neighborcow has struck again. He seems to have ramped up his particular brand of crazy. He came by and insisted I turn off the internet. I refused because... of course I did. He went home and started throwing random objects onto my lawn. I just sell anything worthwhile and put anything else in the trash, but he thinks he's annoyingi nstead of being amusing. I'm waiting to find out if he gets evicted post covid.
Neighborcow was quiet for awhile, but yesterday I caught him trying to kill my rhubarb. It's in a pot and isn't going to smother his garden, but he sure as fuck thinks it will. He was jumping up and down in the pot and oddly missing somehow? He stole a stalk and called me a nigger when I chased him off.
 

NerdShamer

kiwifarms.net
Neighborcow was quiet for awhile, but yesterday I caught him trying to kill my rhubarb. It's in a pot and isn't going to smother his garden, but he sure as fuck thinks it will. He was jumping up and down in the pot and oddly missing somehow? He stole a stalk and called me a nigga when I chased him off.
Schizophrenia is an terrible way to go...Especially when they start attacking people.
 

Buxinator

Just an average joe
kiwifarms.net
Recently I got a blast from the past. While browsing on Facebook, I was greeted with the anniversary of a "friendship" I almost forgot. So I decided to go back and have a good chuckle with some old posts. Basically it's a dude I met in a group for authors and writers, who is in an early retirement and wanted to become the king of german horror story telling. Some basic background information about this guy, because it is important for the story and supports the giggles.

The has two daughters but is devorced, since his ex-wife found out that she is attracted to women, betrayed him for several years and decided to get rid of him as soon as the daughters left home and went their own way.
Like every lolcow, he was/is very narcisstic, start writing his first book and already calling himself the king of german horror literature, sharing his ideas all over Facebook and thinking that someone big will play with him. He has/had a group of approx. 10 people following him like a cult, which sucked his toes and kept motivating him.
He only wrote one book, more were planned but never realized. Basically the plot is about the eternal fight between heaven and hell, with a chosen won, who will turn the tide. It incluced bloody battles with lots of blood and gore, dead babies and a "hot" lesbian sexscene with some bondage (girl getting tied to an St. Andrews cross, titty and clit rubbing from behind, laying down, getting fucked with a strap-on and simultaniouesly getting her toe sucked).

I first met him in a group, where he introduced himself and uploaded a short story to show off and pretended, that this is a masterpiece. Turned out, that it wasn't. Poorly written, full of errors and a horrible boring plot. What happened was a series of sperg outs, where he flung shit like an enraged monkey, tried to use his fans to get infos, dox and dirt on his critics, who where jealous, failing with it, because not everyone is showing his/her powerlevel on the internet and waging a minidjihad against the admins, who were too lazy to ban him.

Later on the rage quitted the group and left, but joined another group with the same attitude, but this time it got worse. He finished his first draft of his epic novel, decided to extend it and make a triology out of it and was looking for a publisher. One member of the group was indeed a publisher and decided to have a closer look. And here the fun part begins. The publishing company consisted of three progressive, lesbian feminist, who read his draft and, suprise suprise, denied it. They were polite in the denial but it was enough for the guy to wage a complete jihad against them. Not only calling them ugly fat dykes (which is even more funny because one of the women was skinny as fuck) but also telling them, that they should get fucked by a real man to get to their senses. He also wrote some E-mails, in which he threatened to pay them a visit, kill their pets (cats and dogs), then burn their houses down and fuck them first in the pussy, then in the ass and them force feed them their own shit. Guess what happened? The womend sued him and the was punished by the court.

During the court trial the layed low, besides some facebook posts in which he was ranting about the unfairness of the judicial system and so on. After the trial he was banned from the group, because he was messaging a female admin, starting dirty talk and sending her dickpics including the description of things he would do to her. She saved everything and posted it in the group and everyone had a good laugh. It was around that time, when I got ahold of the final draft of his manuscript, therefore I send him a friend request, which he accepted. I did something like a commentary reading of it, recorded it and shared it with friends via a USB-Stick to be on the safe side. It was really boring and more or less a cheap trashy copy of a movie that tried to impose as Gods Army.

Fast foreward a few months and somehow he found a publisher. He was happy and his fanclub was already asking for signatures, meet ups and a release party. But then reality came around the corner and the success wasn't coming. The few copies were sold out but the demand wasn't high enough to reprint it, therefore it is lost. Somehow this event cured him from sperging, and the isn't quite active on the internet. Usually he is posting a youtube video with songs from Iron Maiden or Judas Priest and stays away from art. Somehow sad, because it was always a pleasure to see him sperging out and making a fool out of himself.
 

NerdShamer

kiwifarms.net
Recently I got a blast from the past. While browsing on Facebook, I was greeted with the anniversary of a "friendship" I almost forgot. So I decided to go back and have a good chuckle with some old posts. Basically it's a dude I met in a group for authors and writers, who is in an early retirement and wanted to become the king of german horror story telling. Some basic background information about this guy, because it is important for the story and supports the giggles.

The has two daughters but is devorced, since his ex-wife found out that she is attracted to women, betrayed him for several years and decided to get rid of him as soon as the daughters left home and went their own way.
Like every lolcow, he was/is very narcisstic, start writing his first book and already calling himself the king of german horror literature, sharing his ideas all over Facebook and thinking that someone big will play with him. He has/had a group of approx. 10 people following him like a cult, which sucked his toes and kept motivating him.
He only wrote one book, more were planned but never realized. Basically the plot is about the eternal fight between heaven and hell, with a chosen won, who will turn the tide. It incluced bloody battles with lots of blood and gore, dead babies and a "hot" lesbian sexscene with some bondage (girl getting tied to an St. Andrews cross, titty and clit rubbing from behind, laying down, getting fucked with a strap-on and simultaniouesly getting her toe sucked).

I first met him in a group, where he introduced himself and uploaded a short story to show off and pretended, that this is a masterpiece. Turned out, that it wasn't. Poorly written, full of errors and a horrible boring plot. What happened was a series of sperg outs, where he flung shit like an enraged monkey, tried to use his fans to get infos, dox and dirt on his critics, who where jealous, failing with it, because not everyone is showing his/her powerlevel on the internet and waging a minidjihad against the admins, who were too lazy to ban him.

Later on the rage quitted the group and left, but joined another group with the same attitude, but this time it got worse. He finished his first draft of his epic novel, decided to extend it and make a triology out of it and was looking for a publisher. One member of the group was indeed a publisher and decided to have a closer look. And here the fun part begins. The publishing company consisted of three progressive, lesbian feminist, who read his draft and, suprise suprise, denied it. They were polite in the denial but it was enough for the guy to wage a complete jihad against them. Not only calling them ugly fat dykes (which is even more funny because one of the women was skinny as fuck) but also telling them, that they should get fucked by a real man to get to their senses. He also wrote some E-mails, in which he threatened to pay them a visit, kill their pets (cats and dogs), then burn their houses down and fuck them first in the pussy, then in the ass and them force feed them their own shit. Guess what happened? The womend sued him and the was punished by the court.

During the court trial the layed low, besides some facebook posts in which he was ranting about the unfairness of the judicial system and so on. After the trial he was banned from the group, because he was messaging a female admin, starting dirty talk and sending her dickpics including the description of things he would do to her. She saved everything and posted it in the group and everyone had a good laugh. It was around that time, when I got ahold of the final draft of his manuscript, therefore I send him a friend request, which he accepted. I did something like a commentary reading of it, recorded it and shared it with friends via a USB-Stick to be on the safe side. It was really boring and more or less a cheap trashy copy of a movie that tried to impose as Gods Army.

Fast foreward a few months and somehow he found a publisher. He was happy and his fanclub was already asking for signatures, meet ups and a release party. But then reality came around the corner and the success wasn't coming. The few copies were sold out but the demand wasn't high enough to reprint it, therefore it is lost. Somehow this event cured him from sperging, and the isn't quite active on the internet. Usually he is posting a youtube video with songs from Iron Maiden or Judas Priest and stays away from art. Somehow sad, because it was always a pleasure to see him sperging out and making a fool out of himself.
Ironically, this could provide an decent horror story if he actually killed and raped people for rejecting his glorified doorstop.
 
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Buxinator

Just an average joe
kiwifarms.net
Ironically, this could provide an decent horror story of he actually killed and raped people for rejecting his glorified doorstop.
True, but I think due to his issues with rage you'd see him a long time coming. Also for sure he'd send dickpics to his victims and write something like: "I'm coming for you and I'll stick it right up your whoremouth!"
 
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catpin

Esfores is nice chicken and rice
kiwifarms.net
Posted a story about a guy named Tim last year, he did some pretty fucky things later.
Quick summary: Guy has a voice as if he had swallowed several bees, sends unsolicited nudes to girls on Instagram, got pushed around by her boyfriend, claimed nudes are photoshopped.
Guy has one of those autism councilors now telling him how to act like a decent human being.
This did not help at all since he'd constantly lie that he had a girlfriend way out of his league.
Turns out he tells everyone in class he got catfished and are asking for money or less they'll release his nudes.
Guy jokingly tells him that he should release his own nudes.
"Yeah... I should run this by my council friend, but she's sick at the moment"
A day later he sends his nudes to another, girl in school.
The girl tells everyone that Tim is a creep.
Guys from another class mock him.
Tim tells me they want him in a special class but their parents refused this.
"Can you believe that? Everyone is acting like I'm some kind of retard!"
Tim is still in my class.
Fucker lied to me about an internship position not being available anymore so he could take that position.
Later hear he broke his wrist trying to push a washing machine on a wagon.
Tim was awfully insured and his internship nor school don't want to pay for his medical bills because it's not IT related, the guy had to get a loan.
Turned out he also send a friend of mine a message on WhatsApp that the might be bisexual but he didn't know what to do with totally having no prior conversation with him whatsoever about this.
I'm afraid that I'm gonna be in the class of a future serial rapist/killer.
I should ask his autograph or other personal belongings of him so I can sell them later for profit just like in Hannibal.
 

irishAzoth

40.18024,44.48743
kiwifarms.net
My favorite dead beat mother:
Orinthia Enriquez
her irrational fear of Canadian cops are making her dementia and anxiety go overboard.

She has a son that her baby daddy has custody over. She deleted all her videos with her son so she can mask her channel as a TTC single mom channel sadly she either privatized them or deleted them. Not once has she mentioned him

(side note this girl is 20 years old and she looks like she's pushing 30)
 

bothiggedyhog

Thank fucking god its all coming to the light.
kiwifarms.net
mine is repzions girlfriend. still not enough notoriety to be a full cow and he blocks her internet privileges when she says stupid crap so there's not a constant flow of posts but i admire her shameless cucking of him.
if you see this maya, while you're searching your own name attached to repzions girlfriend, keep up the good work, keep it public, tone down the nazi shitposting
 

Ciscoipphone

They're GRRREAT!!
kiwifarms.net
The levels of spergery, passive aggression and powerlevelling I have to deal with daily, this is on the discussion of whether or not you should rinse raw chicken

personallol.png
 
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