International Glownigger Commander
Somewhere, an Texan is crying over this.In school I shared a class with a guy known as 'Squirrel Kid'. Squirrel Kid earned his name for his buckteeth, and the squirrel impression he'd do with them. He thought it made him likeable, when in reality it only made people laugh at him more.
Squirrel Kid was obsessed with cowboys, to the extent that he would tell me that the insult 'son of a gun' was the worst thing you could say to someone as it implied their father is an outlaw. He rode a moped to school, and would ask everyone else who did if they wanted to start a 'motorcycle gang'.
Our teacher was an unhinged lesbian who just stopped showing up to school halfway through the year, so people were given full reign to fuck with Squirrel Kid. One day, Squirrel Kid announced that he was going to kill himself, excused himself to another room, where, through the window, we watched him pulling on his own tie in an attempt to 'hang himself'.
Someone got the idea to use a wedge to block the door, and trap him in the room, and he had to climb out through the window to get out. Afterwards, he said that we'd feel bad for laughing at him when he got home and threw himself out of his window, to which my friend replied 'Don't you live in a bungalow?'
Squirrel Kid makes videos on YouTube to this day, he's been making 'cowboy movies' for years, and has yet to learn the basics of scriptwriting, cinematography, editing or even basic composition. Many a good evening has been had by putting on his videos with a few drinks.