Personal Lolcows -

anameisaname

I'm going to unlock all the achievements.
kiwifarms.net
Okay, here's a girl that went to my high school. I'll call her Jane.

She would lie constantly about everything, and swear up and down it was true, even when it was extremely unrealistic.She claimed her brother was a world-famous writer but didn't even say the name of his book or anything. Then she claimed she was offered a recording contract from an extremely famous record label that, at the time (2006?) had artists that had #1 hit songs. But she turned it down because she "wanted to finish school first". Okay. As if all the teen singers don't go on tutoring and finish school anyway? To this day, nobody has actually heard Jane ever sing a note, so you'd think if this did happen, it'd at least make local news stations.

She would go around telling people on the day that it was the anniversary of getting her (benign) tumor removed, and wear a t-shirt celebrating it, as if it was an accomplishment. She would tell stories of how her best friends died and wear shirts for them on the anniversaries of their deaths. One of them was actually a rather infamous news story from like 2005-2006? of a teen girl getting murdered. It was even featured on ED to mock the murdered girl in edgelord fashion. I looked into the story myself and... the girl never lived anywhere near our state. It just seems highly unlikely than Jane even knew her at all, unless somehow they were online friends or whatever but I'm betting that Jane saw the story, and lied and said that the girl was her best friend just to get sympathy points. She also claimed to have a friend that died from AIDS, and then another that "almost died" in a car accident or something. I think we were all losing track of all the dead/almost-dead friends she supposedly had.

She claimed her family was Irish and spoke the Irish language. She would randomly write her "Irish name" on the board before class started, and it was like 10 names long. I know some Irish names are long but I've never seen one like that. It looked like she just Googled "Irish names" and combined a bunch together. And nobody really cared what her Irish name supposedly was. Also, in poetry club (don't judge me), she read a poem that she claimed was in Irish. Of course, none of us would know if it actually was, or if she just made up gibberish. I don't think Google Translate even had Irish at this point, maybe another site did but online language translators back then weren't as widespread. She also dyed her hair red and claimed it was natural, even though we all knew her before she dyed it. Also, her family had a very Germanic sounding last name.

It may just seem she's an obnoxious compulsive liar so far, but it gets better. She came out as bi (or lesbian, depending on the day of the week), and really wanted some girl-on-girl action. She had a crush on another girl in our grade (I'll call her Emily), and when Emily politely declined (because she's straight), Jane went psycho-stalker mode and threatened to kill her and everything. Also threatened to shoot up our school apparently. She ended up getting suspended for months. Jane later claimed to have been raped, but she wasn't very pretty so who knows if this is true. She had big tits though, and she wasn't even fat.

Other than that... she was a total loser who would loudly say unfunny "jokes" in the middle of class. And she'd walk around wearing heels when it would just be a huge inconvenience, like in bad weather and such. Oh and despite her being an out and proud dyke, she really hated gay/bi men and thought they were gross. Maybe there's more stuff about her I forgot but yeah.
Nice, checks almost every single box.
Lemme introduce you my lolcow:
An artist who constantly draws self-harmer OCs with bad colours and botched anatomy.
I know her for years, she was drawing adorable Five Nights at Freddy's humanisations.
Most of her OCs are suicidal and androgynous looking.

Edit: I have mistaken this thread as the Tumblr one.
Interesting. Do they burn or cut themselves?
Where's their social media saying how depressed they are?
 

sleazetown

Tyrant & womanizer
kiwifarms.net
This kid I knew in a class I took. I'll call him Xavier. There was so much weird, edgy shit he would say that it's tough to recall all of it. I remember I was talking to a friend in the smoke pit, and I said something mundane like "no, I can't hang out today, I promised my wife I would change her oil" and Xavier butts in with, "I made a promise once." and I asked "what was that?" and he then proceeds to tell us how he promised his family he would never kill himself after they found his self harm scars.
Another time, he was talking about his girlfriend, and he told me that she has a nickname for him. I asked what it was and he says, "she calls me her hatter. Like the mad hatter from Alice in Wonderland." so I just say, "oh yeah?" already trying not to laff, and then he says "yeah. And she's my little Alice." At that point, my facade broke because it made me mentally recoil and I told him straight up that that's weird as fuck and not to tell people shit like that.
Also, I had always wondered what kind of people actually bought those targeted shirts until he came in wearing one that said some shit like "Born in April, friendliest motherfucker around, but fuck with my family and you've got another thing coming, motherfucker." and showed it off to me.
Anyway, the crown jewel was at this party we had. 13 or so people, rented out an airbnb to have ourselves a nice little booze bender. Of course, we brought Xavier along to see what kind of funny shit he would do/say when we got him fucked up and the results were well beyond expectations. First night, this fucker had to have only dranken two lil glasses of whiskey before he started puking on the carpet. Vomit chunks of pepperoni and cheese from the pizza we'd ordered were matted into the carpet and he wouldn't stop apologizing. It didn't help that a few people were genuinely mad about it, so for whatever reason, in his brain, he decided the best course of action was to eat his vomit to clean it up. I started full-on yelling at him to stop, and grabbed him, trying to pull him away from the chunks but his tard strength and determination overpowered me. He actually cleaned up most of it, and got all the large globs so there was only an orange stain left. From there, we cleaned the carpet, he passed out and the rest is a haze.
He actually improved a fair amount from the time we were in class after that. Not a bad kid, and good-intentioned, just not all the lights on at home, looking back on it. Always bothered me when people would shittalk him when he was literally a foot away and could obviously hear. I still give likes to the wolf moon images he posts on faceberg.
 
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TheMagician

Just lost The Game
kiwifarms.net
Screw personal lolcows, I have my own personal herd of lolcattle
Just join any community that's either associated with a roleplay site, used for roleplay (as long as there are parts where the members talk out-of-character), or that is primarily about roleplay discussion
They are ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, CONSTANT sources of drama. It's like these people can't live without drama, if there is no big issue to fight over, then someone will start something over the pettiest, most irrelevant shit they can. They're like rabid dogs, and I can't get enough of it. I'm in a server for a site I don't even use, just to watch all the drama unfold. This shit gives even the best threads on Community Watch a run for their money. The one I'm currently watching has the community simultaneously asking the mods to crack down on more and more things they don't like, while also berating the mods whenever they so much as look at someone the wrong way. I don't envy those fuckers - If you sleep among dogs, you get bit.
:story:
 

PururinSenpai

[False & Lying Fan]
kiwifarms.net
Knew a guy online since at least 2015 who ended up becoming your stereotypical troon lolcow as of sometime last year. He's like Twitch Deer minus the otherkin stuff and from the looks of it, had his insecurities as a man taken advantage of by other trannies. I stopped talking to him around late 2016 and just recently saw what he had been up to all these years later. At first, I found the ridiculousness of the situation to be hilarious as he had all the stereotypes of your typical agp; the picrew profile, alphabet soup flag, obsession with anime traps, interest in coding etc, any trope you're thinking of and he definitely checks it off one way or another. I showed a couple of my friends his steam profile and they also found it funny as well. I genuinely wonder what would've happened if I hadn't ghosted him years ago. There's a chance I could've intervened but who knows, that's all in the past now. Lolcows can be an absolute joy to mock at with their own incompetence as a human being, but the only reason why they're like that is because they had no one to stop them from going insane. For him, there was no one else but trannies and other crazy people in his life and thus, he is the way he is. Still feel a tad bad about it though, ended up losing a friend to insanity that MAY have been preventable.
degeneracy.png
 

AN - THR4X

Known War Criminal
kiwifarms.net
I had this one fucker, I meant him on I think Amino or some shit, one of those pedo-ridden fuckholes 20yr old grown-ass men with white Ford Vans go to try and wank off and bait teenage girls and trannies go to cry about their problems instead of fixing them. At first, he seemed fine until he asked the weirdest fucking question, "hey wanna join my secret society" or some shit like that. He then sent me a discord link to a server that had like 5 other people in it, and at that moment, I was dragged into the weirdest cult shit ever. This motherfucker sent me his second bible religious manifesto, called his religion Cecronism and went around begging people to join his stupid cult worshipping him as the messiah. Oh wait, I forgot to get into the, him being the messiah part and his harem of 13 yr old girls. He believed himself to be the reincarnation of his god Cercona, and that he would erase the world of sinners and liars, install himself in a monarcho-fascist dictatorship and rule the world starting from a revolution in his home in Florida. He believed that God manifested himself as a green dragon, that the devil was a red dragon and that Jesus Christ was a false idol, and he constantly throughout every interaction I had tried to hammer-down everyone's throat that he was a god. Especially in front of these three teenage girls, he baited into the server, who he, by the way, would constantly try to force into ERP in DMs. I managed to get some of them to leave and get away from him, and by the time I started ghosting him, they were all done talking to the creep. I being the fucking retard that I was, watched to see how this guy would act, cus this fucker was a paranoid nut, the moment you said anything that went against his holy bible and animu he would sperg in voice and block ya. Oh yeah, the anime part. He was, how do I describe it, ya know those guys on discord, the ones with Sasuke as their profile, with some part of the face blacked out, the ones who use anime gifs and always talk about how women are evil or some shit but still try way too hard to get that one e-girl in voice, and they spam shitty emo-rap that sounds like a depressed 17-yr old white kid got dumped and is scream-crying into the mic about it with a max volume bass trying to hide shitty vocals, yeah those guys, turn that into a religion. He literally put Google-translated Japanese into his bible and talked about buying Katanas to kill the people who fucked with him in high school. This is just the beginning of his retardom, but I'll leave it here,
I might try to get a hold of him to see if I can fuck with him more.

Holy shit I dug and found his youtube channel
Do what you with it what you will

If I can get in contact and fuck with him, I might write a thread, I remember him saying something about making a twitter so I'll try and see where that went

EDIT: found the jackpot, looked through and found the google doc for his manifesto, I'll attach the pdf
 

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NerdShamer

International Glownigger Commander
kiwifarms.net
I had this one fucker, I meant him on I think Amino or some shit, one of those pedo-ridden fuckholes 20yr old grown-ass men with white Ford Vans go to try and wank off and bait teenage girls and trannies go to cry about their problems instead of fixing them. At first, he seemed fine until he asked the weirdest fucking question, "hey wanna join my secret society" or some shit like that. He then sent me a discord link to a server that had like 5 other people in it, and at that moment, I was dragged into the weirdest cult shit ever. This motherfucker sent me his second bible religious manifesto, called his religion Cecronism and went around begging people to join his stupid cult worshipping him as the messiah. Oh wait, I forgot to get into the, him being the messiah part and his harem of 13 yr old girls. He believed himself to be the reincarnation of his god Cercona, and that he would erase the world of sinners and liars, install himself in a monarcho-fascist dictatorship and rule the world starting from a revolution in his home in Florida. He believed that God manifested himself as a green dragon, that the devil was a red dragon and that Jesus Christ was a false idol, and he constantly throughout every interaction I had tried to hammer-down everyone's throat that he was a god. Especially in front of these three teenage girls, he baited into the server, who he, by the way, would constantly try to force into ERP in DMs. I managed to get some of them to leave and get away from him, and by the time I started ghosting him, they were all done talking to the creep. I being the fucking retard that I was, watched to see how this guy would act, cus this fucker was a paranoid nut, the moment you said anything that went against his holy bible and animu he would sperg in voice and block ya. Oh yeah, the anime part. He was, how do I describe it, ya know those guys on discord, the ones with Sasuke as their profile, with some part of the face blacked out, the ones who use anime gifs and always talk about how women are evil or some shit but still try way too hard to get that one e-girl in voice, and they spam shitty emo-rap that sounds like a depressed 17-yr old white kid got dumped and is scream-crying into the mic about it with a max volume bass trying to hide shitty vocals, yeah those guys, turn that into a religion. He literally put Google-translated Japanese into his bible and talked about buying Katanas to kill the people who fucked with him in high school. This is just the beginning of his retardom, but I'll leave it here,
I might try to get a hold of him to see if I can fuck with him more.

Holy shit I dug and found his youtube channel
Do what you with it what you will

If I can get in contact and fuck with him, I might write a thread, I remember him saying something about making a twitter so I'll try and see where that went

EDIT: found the jackpot, looked through and found the google doc for his manifesto, I'll attach the pdf
Congratulations! You've met Florida Man!
 

TheImportantFart

MadaGAScar
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I had this one fucker, I meant him on I think Amino or some shit, one of those pedo-ridden fuckholes 20yr old grown-ass men with white Ford Vans go to try and wank off and bait teenage girls and trannies go to cry about their problems instead of fixing them. At first, he seemed fine until he asked the weirdest fucking question, "hey wanna join my secret society" or some shit like that. He then sent me a discord link to a server that had like 5 other people in it, and at that moment, I was dragged into the weirdest cult shit ever. This motherfucker sent me his second bible religious manifesto, called his religion Cecronism and went around begging people to join his stupid cult worshipping him as the messiah. Oh wait, I forgot to get into the, him being the messiah part and his harem of 13 yr old girls. He believed himself to be the reincarnation of his god Cercona, and that he would erase the world of sinners and liars, install himself in a monarcho-fascist dictatorship and rule the world starting from a revolution in his home in Florida. He believed that God manifested himself as a green dragon, that the devil was a red dragon and that Jesus Christ was a false idol, and he constantly throughout every interaction I had tried to hammer-down everyone's throat that he was a god. Especially in front of these three teenage girls, he baited into the server, who he, by the way, would constantly try to force into ERP in DMs. I managed to get some of them to leave and get away from him, and by the time I started ghosting him, they were all done talking to the creep. I being the fucking retard that I was, watched to see how this guy would act, cus this fucker was a paranoid nut, the moment you said anything that went against his holy bible and animu he would sperg in voice and block ya. Oh yeah, the anime part. He was, how do I describe it, ya know those guys on discord, the ones with Sasuke as their profile, with some part of the face blacked out, the ones who use anime gifs and always talk about how women are evil or some shit but still try way too hard to get that one e-girl in voice, and they spam shitty emo-rap that sounds like a depressed 17-yr old white kid got dumped and is scream-crying into the mic about it with a max volume bass trying to hide shitty vocals, yeah those guys, turn that into a religion. He literally put Google-translated Japanese into his bible and talked about buying Katanas to kill the people who fucked with him in high school. This is just the beginning of his retardom, but I'll leave it here,
I might try to get a hold of him to see if I can fuck with him more.

Holy shit I dug and found his youtube channel
Do what you with it what you will

If I can get in contact and fuck with him, I might write a thread, I remember him saying something about making a twitter so I'll try and see where that went

EDIT: found the jackpot, looked through and found the google doc for his manifesto, I'll attach the pdf
I can't wait to see where this goes.
 
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AN - THR4X

Known War Criminal
kiwifarms.net
I can't wait to see where this goes.
oh its going somewhere
literally just sent him a bait email saying that I'm a "devout Cecronist" and waiting for a response
Updates will come soon

UPDATE: found his dead Facebook, it has his retarded religion splattered all over it
Still nothing big enough to make a whole thread

Him trying to spread his cult with a few sane people in the replies

here's him in his "cecronist uniform" in his parents basement
 

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Ciscoipphone

They're GRRREAT!!
kiwifarms.net
This cow in my friend's class constantly powerlevels in every class. He also has this same smug expression on his face in every pic

Capture.JPG
 

PurpleSquirrel

I owe God five skulls.
kiwifarms.net
oh its going somewhere
literally just sent him a bait email saying that I'm a "devout Cecronist" and waiting for a response
Updates will come soon

UPDATE: found his dead Facebook, it has his retarded religion splattered all over it
Still nothing big enough to make a whole thread

Him trying to spread his cult with a few sane people in the replies

here's him in his "cecronist uniform" in his parents basement
He looks Black. Always interesting when POCs adopt White-authoritarian aesthetics and images.
 

AN - THR4X

Known War Criminal
kiwifarms.net
He looks Black. Always interesting when POCs adopt White-authoritarian aesthetics and images.
Yeah, he said he was half/half, but all I really know about his family is that they lives on the really, really rich side of Parrish Florida, nothing on the email, he had a habit of constantly changing accounts so the email he gave me is probably dead

But for a Nigger he had a really weird nazi fetish, he bought a stahlhelm and the entire rank system in his cult was a one-for-one rip of nazi officer ranks

Also forgot to mention earlier so I'll put it here but he said he had an incident in High School were some kids in his class told the school board about the cult shit he was running with some other kids so he got kicked and I'm pretty sure he or one of his "followers" made a bomb threat or some shit so if anyone went to High School in the Parrish, Florida area and heard about a cult and possible school shooting we might have a lead
 

JambledUpWords

Thin privilege is real y’all
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Meet Ian Henry:
BB919049-2343-4D2A-9661-1D0C667B4AFF.jpeg649D352B-3857-4BB1-A3AB-DF50CC2652F6.jpeg
Tl; dr: someone scammed him, his friend Doug recently diedand he had a terrible acid trip consisting of three tablets of LSD and he’s bipolar

What he used to look like:
41EA4F14-42A9-4633-97B0-7939418E4F81.jpeg752A1BCD-657B-4FE1-BFA1-2A21E96252CF.jpeg

What he looks like now, and his Tinder profile:
8C22DB9B-6188-4DBC-B1F7-E3A188E8092E.jpeg1FF253D6-E8F3-4956-BE6A-7F30B7B617E5.jpegD85282EA-99DA-4309-A9DB-E27B66B82BAA.jpegFD4C3F3A-B347-40AC-8F5B-DF25767844C6.jpeg
8758DA35-ED1C-4413-AF8B-BA588DCC812A.jpeg3A278A13-D3D0-454C-89B2-E1086EAC1413.jpeg

Creeping on women:
B7068BC1-1329-40E9-B7B0-B766570949D2.png900FDAF8-61D4-4D80-A34C-42E9F0695032.jpeg0AE03F4B-F99A-47A2-A787-571FB3017C59.png
49725F8C-E6B9-4042-A069-C1CAC449ABB1.jpeg1504A155-B7F8-46A1-AFB6-08BA4C78A954.jpeg3DB01662-9BE9-4359-824C-F5D4CB3912AC.jpeg4D2CCA53-EBA5-4B3F-9EF6-887ED35996FC.jpeg

Getting rejected:
374D741D-B9C6-48B7-BDC4-0D002158D7DE.jpeg697273D1-F0A8-4B86-8DEE-D6BE7EF9CD55.jpeg

Totally not a simp:
F3B33872-6F9C-4DAD-9CE6-3FBCE2856554.jpegEAB49756-7903-4BE0-81FB-9FA7132955DD.jpeg

Betrayal:
F4A29B75-E2DE-4A11-81E2-962887C4452E.jpeg53DFAD05-7BA7-4694-840B-2A56083CC55E.jpeg2FFEEBBD-B179-4AC0-922C-5BD2E59A4063.jpeg

D2EA5860-653A-44D1-A86F-029BCDF039BD.jpeg3F2095BB-1767-4F53-8814-9A415AA50A9D.jpeg

E36546F2-693F-4D18-A889-F4F5A2DB420E.jpeg4A5FA72C-BC3A-4253-B149-27D22F34FC05.jpeg

69174487-49EE-4E27-8E03-1811E4CDCEA6.jpeg064FADBF-778E-488B-961F-95B22915D63E.jpeg

Random:
9D42E24F-52DD-4475-BA69-D0F6F597CF0B.jpegB5B1770D-701A-47CD-B277-991B5FE9260D.jpeg65D7C37D-DF3A-42C1-A489-47EF06F1BB55.jpeg

Tl;dr: this dude is the embodiment of a niceguy, neck beard and all. More updates to come. This guy posts a lot.
 

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Quarantine

Corona Spitter
kiwifarms.net
I'm pretty sure he or one of his "followers" made a bomb threat or some shit so if anyone went to High School in the Parrish, Florida area and heard about a cult and possible school shooting we might have a lead
This is quality shit and as of a few months ago, he is still advertising the Cecronist cult’s Discord server on his YouTube, so here’s to hoping he is active enough somewhere to warrant a thread. It’d be a shame for Cecronism to be lost to time.
If Carson Lawrence is his real name and he’s from Parrish, Florida, you’re also very close to a dox, a good thing to have if this Nubian prince is still out there seducing little girls in his Stahlhelm, lol.
Are you in touch with any of the girls he was trying to groom? Curious what sort of stories they and his real-life peers may have to tell.
 
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AN - THR4X

Known War Criminal
kiwifarms.net
This is quality shit and as of a few months ago, he is still advertising the Cecronist cult’s Discord server on his YouTube, so here’s to hoping he is active enough somewhere to warrant a thread. It’d be a shame for Cecronism to be lost to time.
If Carson Lawrence is his real name and he’s from Parrish, Florida, you’re also very close to a dox, a good thing to have if this Nubian prince is still out there seducing little girls in his Stahlhelm, lol.
Are you in touch with any of the girls he was trying to groom? Curious what sort of stories they and his real-life peers may have to tell.
I lost contact with all of em, but I'm working on a doxx, I'm thinking about going through and checking if any schools in his area have online yearbooks and sifting threw those, I'm also trying to find a news article that mentioned some of the shit he did in high school, when I started talking to him (a few months ago, at least 6 or 7) he was about 19 or 20 so only recently graduated a few years ago

If anyone's got ideas for finding the Holy Nubian Prince Pedophile Nazi Messiah then go for it
 
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JambledUpWords

Thin privilege is real y’all
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ian updates:

Last night:
5AE40B34-47BB-437D-9EE7-1D378633DA0B.jpeg07F155AD-819F-4F3A-98C2-B00EC6A22059.jpeg456F997D-DD1E-49F6-871A-53CB01A7551C.jpeg
Sure it won’t

Followers and clout:
61BB6813-6DAC-4D07-AA1A-07F2BC04E716.jpegACAE84C6-5F30-426A-9CA5-66A6682597CB.jpeg8C6A3A17-F5B8-4175-8B7B-DA8F8D61B5A8.jpeg9D64661A-74EE-4967-98D3-FAAB06959440.jpegA4D1E608-96B3-4B07-B4D8-7FBC7AD009FC.jpeg

Hats:
534BD0C0-BF4B-4404-95E0-CDA88F91AFCC.jpeg6C67F3E4-4CD4-4BDF-8291-CBCC53098C11.jpegFC07889F-0A05-42B3-B80D-5E2CD378E8C6.jpegCB7D829A-CEDC-4DFF-B59C-6BB7FC7DCAE1.jpeg

His therapist:
EB2C427C-C169-4B1D-B7A8-F3D9D51A1157.jpeg

Anger:
B971DAE5-5FB8-4C18-AA0E-7A4273357FE4.jpeg5082B228-2995-4FC3-AFAF-A9843AC0E778.jpegA56CEF83-BF31-4BAC-A532-3EA049A3C47A.jpeg

To catch a racist:
E5BB8DA5-9F4B-4C9E-89E6-CEC550742C33.jpegC0E189E7-9341-4D6F-B024-12268C433731.jpeg07D02EDE-12B3-4B86-8EA9-D7A5203DBDEC.jpeg74559C36-C357-441D-BF76-A95C5E3E540A.jpeg

Hypocrisy:
3B1945D6-35AF-4684-B2A2-E73EDFC92F42.jpegD210B86F-CD6F-4A59-859E-80D10693F0B6.jpeg
Earlier on the same day:
A9BF197D-9BB1-4702-914E-31EBC4304D56.jpeg


Bully:
FE479013-71D5-48C6-954D-AF1D5A21B7B3.jpeg
Even if he is a lightweight, he’s probably less of a screwup than Ian.

Crappy memes:
005F5721-E878-4675-AD2B-A130DC486466.jpegD3F0FEB0-EDA4-443B-BAA1-7F83F01E7775.jpeg

Bad habits:
15836DE9-FB7D-447E-AC93-6A36EFE0C34D.jpeg
 

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seckdeck

yeasty
kiwifarms.net
man there's this bitch i know, goes by chelle

These are all since August I think? Just about every other post she makes is something ridiculous.

Not cow worthy, but definitely great to see what kinda lies she comes up with.

Her big lies:

She's almost raped or kidnapped like every couple months
Men constantly prey on her
She is 100 percent totally Cherokee... although her older sister isn't
A super cool misogynistic older brother that no one's ever met and he doesn't have any social media (He probably isn't real)
She's a foster child (Yet grew up with both, assuming brother's real, siblings and her mom. Used to bitch about her mom a lot.)
She has a chronic disability that is completely invisible and has no physical symptoms, vague posts about it a lot

NO ONE KNOWS MY NAME:
12.png9.png

Men harassing her:
11.png3.png4.png2.png

Her chronic pain:
13.png7.png

and then everyone clapped:
5.png15.png6.png

???????????? okay sure??????:
10.png14.png (from the bitch who nearly failed highschool lmao)

"iM So OPPreSsEd":
8.png1.png

the native in question:
1.jpg2.jpg
 
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