The Emerald Knight
Some other random information: He's 32 years old and lives with his mother. But unlike Chris, he's employed.
Okay so he's 10% less autistic
When I was in elementary school I encountered quite a few personal lolcows.
The first won was called Julian, He was a tiny kid probably first or second grade. Every day at recess he would crawl under a fence near the back of the school to quote "escape school". The adult supervisors or "duties" as we called them would usually tell him to knock it off. One day during recess I'm heading towards the playground with a few other kids from my class when we see Julian run buy us while being chased by two teachers. It was like an irl roadrunner and Whiley coyote cartoon. One of the teachers gets ahold of his arm, Julian manages to get his arm free and than preceded to punch the teacher in the face. The Principal (a 70 year old man) it's called out to try to help the two teachers drag the kid down to the office. The Principle tries to get a hold of the kid only to get punched in the balls. He loses his temper and tackles the kid like a quterback than drags him inside. I never saw Julian again and the principal got fired for tackling the kid.
The second one was an annoying little shit called Logan. I use to have a digital media course with him in highschool. He'd always get in trouble with the teachers for being disruptive and looking at his phone instead of paying attention to lessons. He frequently had. Bouts of tard rage. This one time we were learning how to use Photoshop and Logan somehow managed to crash the program he than preceded to smash his keyboard against the monitor while screaming fuck over and over again. The teacher got pissed and shouts at Logan "get the hell out of my class!!!" The funniest part was Logan had to pay for a replacement keyboard and monitor.