Personal Lolcows -

  • Downtime due to DDoS attacks still. I'm waiting on different providers to give me what I need to deal with it long-term.

Darwin Watterson

Custom titles are for nerds
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A minor one would be the woodshop teacher I had during seventh grade. He wasn’t really that big of a cow in class, though he WAS kind of an asshole and ironically wasn’t very good at doing woodwork and the other shop teacher would sometimes have to show up because he couldn’t figure out how to work the machines.

Like a year later he was abruptly fired. Nobody knew why at first, but it later came out that he’d lost his teaching license. Turns out he’d been stalking his ex and had threatened to kill her.
 

space marine 0434

bruh stargender, doesn't exist
kiwifarms.net
Some Troon by the name of Pax tried doxxing and succeeded. He was also dating a 14-year-old at 18 and had a toxic relationship. He used jest/jests pronouns, and thought that he was a clown. Many other troon servers banned him.
 
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Windows Error 98

Bluescreening
kiwifarms.net
I’ve been lurking for months but today is the day I finally decided to make an account on the evil nazi devil forums, woo
There’s this one absolutely lunatic furry “enby” motherfucker I was an acquaintance with like 7 years ago and I keep running into their presence no matter how far I go. At this point I just check up on them every 6 months just to see what new nonsense they’ve gotten into. I can always find her because no matter how many times she changes her name, her terrible, terrible art stays the same.
Specific details I remember: publicly posting her 15 year old boyfriend’s nudes, getting publicly made fun of by a youtuber with 100k subscribers for drawing her fursona killing confederates despite being a white southerner herself, faking have multiple personalities in order to steal someone’s fursona, getting accused by another 15 year old wokester of sexual harassment, etc, etc.

Another one I’ve recently become fascinated by is the Reddit user /UselessAltThing, an “”””agender”””” girl who at the ripe age of 18 wants to surgically remove her genitals and breasts. She is a PROLIFIC poster to r/Tumblr, because of course she is, and nearly all of her post titles contain graphic descriptions of how she wants to mutilate herself and remove her clitoris. She also confesses to having developed an eating disorder to starve away her “feminine hips.” Half of her posts are spelled like she’s drunk off her ass, and she posts about how wanting her whole body to be violently mutilated is completely normal She talks constantly about not wanting to be seen like a woman, and the first day after “””having sex””” with another woman, started calling her her girlfriend and posted it to eight different subreddits even after admitting the girl didn’t like her. God at this point I’m just watching out of morbid interest. It’s almost too textbook to be real
 
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AnimeGodEli

kiwifarms.net
I had this one fucker, I meant him on I think Amino or some shit, one of those pedo-ridden fuckholes 20yr old grown-ass men with white Ford Vans go to try and wank off and bait teenage girls and trannies go to cry about their problems instead of fixing them. At first, he seemed fine until he asked the weirdest fucking question, "hey wanna join my secret society" or some shit like that. He then sent me a discord link to a server that had like 5 other people in it, and at that moment, I was dragged into the weirdest cult shit ever. This motherfucker sent me his second bible religious manifesto, called his religion Cecronism and went around begging people to join his stupid cult worshipping him as the messiah. Oh wait, I forgot to get into the, him being the messiah part and his harem of 13 yr old girls. He believed himself to be the reincarnation of his god Cercona, and that he would erase the world of sinners and liars, install himself in a monarcho-fascist dictatorship and rule the world starting from a revolution in his home in Florida. He believed that God manifested himself as a green dragon, that the devil was a red dragon and that Jesus Christ was a false idol, and he constantly throughout every interaction I had tried to hammer-down everyone's throat that he was a god. Especially in front of these three teenage girls, he baited into the server, who he, by the way, would constantly try to force into ERP in DMs. I managed to get some of them to leave and get away from him, and by the time I started ghosting him, they were all done talking to the creep. I being the fucking retard that I was, watched to see how this guy would act, cus this fucker was a paranoid nut, the moment you said anything that went against his holy bible and animu he would sperg in voice and block ya. Oh yeah, the anime part. He was, how do I describe it, ya know those guys on discord, the ones with Sasuke as their profile, with some part of the face blacked out, the ones who use anime gifs and always talk about how women are evil or some shit but still try way too hard to get that one e-girl in voice, and they spam shitty emo-rap that sounds like a depressed 17-yr old white kid got dumped and is scream-crying into the mic about it with a max volume bass trying to hide shitty vocals, yeah those guys, turn that into a religion. He literally put Google-translated Japanese into his bible and talked about buying Katanas to kill the people who fucked with him in high school. This is just the beginning of his retardom, but I'll leave it here,
I might try to get a hold of him to see if I can fuck with him more.

Holy shit I dug and found his youtube channel
Do what you with it what you will

If I can get in contact and fuck with him, I might write a thread, I remember him saying something about making a twitter so I'll try and see where that went

EDIT: found the jackpot, looked through and found the google doc for his manifesto, I'll attach the pdf
I used to be in that server too. if you could, dm me on discord my at is AnimeGodEli#0038. I need to know more about Carson
 

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The Great Citracett

It is the nineties, and there is time for autism.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Here's a guy I've been aware of for a few years now. He kept popping up when I was finding content for the Greer thread. He's a super eccentric dude who is a guitarist and singer and prolific video maker. He's also not exactly all there...

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Facebook

His name is Mike Meyer and he can usually be found filling Katy Perry's comments with bizarre fantasy scenarios and pitching song ideas. He does it on almost every single post and he's been at it for years.

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Those are just ones I grabbed today. He's also hanging out on Billie Eilish's profile doing the same sort of thing. No idea how many other women he's following. His comments are usually accompanied by a video of him playing a song. Sometimes a cover, sometimes original.

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His originals are something else. Songs about anything from aliens, ghosts, Elvis, to lesbians, to your mama being a stripper in a honky tonk bar. Acoustic or electric.

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His youtube channel is interesting. He's got over 200 songs but gets less than 10 views each. He welcomes any and all followers on Facebook and youtube.


Not sure he's exactly threadworthy, but other than what you see here, I haven't really researched him either.
 

Broseph

Who's that great ape right there?
kiwifarms.net
Here's a guy I've been aware of for a few years now. He kept popping up when I was finding content for the Greer thread. He's a super eccentric dude who is a guitarist and singer and prolific video maker. He's also not exactly all there...

View attachment 2070714
View attachment 2070716

Facebook

His name is Mike Meyer and he can usually be found filling Katy Perry's comments with bizarre fantasy scenarios and pitching song ideas. He does it on almost every single post and he's been at it for years.

View attachment 2070717
View attachment 2070718
View attachment 2070719
View attachment 2070720

Those are just ones I grabbed today. He's also hanging out on Billie Eilish's profile doing the same sort of thing. No idea how many other women he's following. His comments are usually accompanied by a video of him playing a song. Sometimes a cover, sometimes original.

View attachment 2070741
View attachment 2070743

His originals are something else. Songs about anything from aliens, ghosts, Elvis, to lesbians, to your mama being a stripper in a honky tonk bar. Acoustic or electric.

View attachment 2070738
View attachment 2070737
View attachment 2070739
View attachment 2070756

His youtube channel is interesting. He's got over 200 songs but gets less than 10 views each. He welcomes any and all followers on Facebook and youtube.


Not sure he's exactly threadworthy, but other than what you see here, I haven't really researched him either.
Untreated autism and unchecked simping are a deadly combination.
 

julzjulzzjulzzz

kiwifarms.net
So this is an experience that happened a few years ago and I can't remember the specific name of the guy, or any details like usernames for that matter. I wish I could link a profile or at least have some remaining photos because this shit was insane.

A couple years back I had a female friend who was either extremely bored, lonely, attention-starved or a combination. She would constantly stream herself on those shitty live-broadcasting social media apps (I think it was called LiveMe). She would stream herself on it on a frequent basis, and she built up a community too. She was fairly attractive and as you would expect from apps like that; she had a ton of creepy, socially inept guys watching her and orbiting her. She would pay tons of attention to them and even give them her personal information.

One of those orbiters in particular started developing a very strong fixation on her, watching all of her streams and eventually proclaiming that he loved her. He was an African kid living all the way across from the world, let's call him Cheg. The most notable thing about Cheg is he had spoke absolutely horrific, broken english with terrible grammar. He sounded like a fucking parody or meme; I'll give you an example of something I remember him saying:

"I luv u bby,.,.,.,.,.,.. i promiz u i wil protec u darleng forevr". His grammar was always incredibly broken, to the point where he was totally unintelligible at times and you had to hardly decipher what the fuck he was saying.

My friend, being completely fucking stupid gave Cheg her social media accounts... Which worsened the situation by 100x. Cheg starting stalking her on every single platform, commenting on every single post she made every day proclaiming how she was his wife and they were meant to be together . Just really weird creepy shit.

He started upping the ante and became even crazier afterwards, he started creating edited pictures of her. This one image in particular, he had a picture of a heart and on both sides of the heart he edited a picture of himself and this girl; he posted it on his Instagram with some caption like "SOULMATES FOREVER". He had dozens of pictures of her saved, and he started changing his profile picture to pictures of her.

Eventually I decided to speak with Cheg one-on-one and see what was up with this kid, and man it was fucking hilarious. This kid was definitely very lolcowish in nature, his horrible english/social skills combined with his fixated love obsession with some girl he had never interacted with; who lived across the world from him. He refused to let go of his delusional fantasy regarding this girl being his "wife" or "soulmate" no matter what how much you tried talking to him. And generally, interacting with this kid was super difficult because as I said before, his english grammar was completely atrocious. He seemed to miss the point that I was making fun of him, and even tried befriending me thinking insults were compliments.

So at a certain point, nobody could seem to talk sense into him (multiple people, including my friend herself tried) and to no avail at all; he held onto this belief they were meant to be together and continued obsessing. He bypassed through multiple blocks by making new accounts and continuing, while also making numerous posts about the girl. There was nowhere to report this kid to, considering he lived in a really poor part of Africa. Everyone decided to collectively ignore him, and hope he stopped at some point.

And he did, a few months later. I remember checking his page and he developed a new obsession with a different girl. This Japanese streamer girl, who he was posting pictures of and claiming it was his "gf"

So that happened a few years ago, I can't seem to find him now and I don't know what he's up to these days; it's a bit hilarious to ponder he could still be doing the exact same thing considering he switched to some different girl after a while, meaning this was a pattern for him. If I can, I'll find one of the pictures he made; a few people saved it back in the day due to the fact it was funny as fuck.
 

BrokenLightbulbs

kiwifarms.net
It's been at least 15 years since I knew of this person's existence but at school there was this total autistic shitfit of a guy who obviously should have been in a school for 'gifted kids'.
He was obese, albino, and generally genetically deficient in appearance, although he actually wasn't disfigured or even unattractive save for the obesity.
His main drag was behavioral problems and he would sperg out on an almost daily basis. He would get into arguments with people over mundane things, escalate to the point of screaming, then tremble and cry when handled by faculty. I remember a handful of times where he escalated to flipping desks, rolling on the floor, and even charging at the wall a time or two. He really was a spectacle who was almost unironically regarded as a 'cool guy' save for being so unbearable and uncooperative.
If you've ever seen a toddler's temper tantrums irl with screaming and thrashing around, that was this guy, in a 250lb+ roughly 5'10" body.
 

BrokenLightbulbs

kiwifarms.net
jesus fucking christ
This may come off as a joke but I mean it when I say it - actual manlets are persons of interest that should be closely watched. Being as short as 5'6" or below can lend itself to chronic inferiority complexes that may in turn cause the individuals to dominate and abuse their subordinates; that goes for their kids, pets, and the like.
 

Oughtism

see ye in the mornin' pal
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
His youtube channel is interesting. He's got over 200 songs but gets less than 10 views each. He welcomes any and all followers on Facebook and youtube.


Not sure he's exactly threadworthy, but other than what you see here, I haven't really researched him either.
Not gonna lie, that 'Black Moma Titty Fuck' is a bit of a banger (words I never thought I'd write). I may or may not be responsible for the surge in views. I wish he could make a studio version. Also, I don't think he sings about titty fucking at all?

He obviously seems like a complete nutter but it also shows that autism has the potential of creating cool stuff in the right circumstances.
 

furniture0

kiwifarms.net
There's this kid at my school named Mario Ferrari. He's the biggest incel I have ever met in my entire life, and this is offline. He's also very autistic, militiant vegan, accidentally racist, and his voice sounds like Kermit the Frog. He has a track record of sexually harrassing various women on campus, such as one time he showed his penis on Facetime to a 15 year old girl (he's 17) and the uppermost staff got involved. He also said very explicit things to another girl I'm good friends with, I don't remember what they were talking about, but they talked about sex for almost 15 minutes straight.
Another thing I should mention is that I told him to get out of a seat, and he said he's going to be like "Rosa Parks" and refused to get out of his seat.
 

keke

pussy
kiwifarms.net
My friends sibling told them that their teacher got mad when someone mentioned pewdiepie cause according to them he radicalises children into the right wing extremism. I had 2018 flashbacks
 

Sammyrye

I love meatballs. BUT I DIDNT FUCKING SAY THAT!!!
kiwifarms.net
And he's always finding new simping targets...
View attachment 2074373
This dudes gonna freak the fuck out one day. Horrifying. Or maybe horror novel inspiring.

...

Just discovered this Japanese YouTuber who thinks Uber Eats couriers and anyone on bicycle with a backpack is gang stalking him
Also he claims to be gang stalked and yet he’s stalking other people for doing jackshit.
This looks fun. Thanks.


Fuck! Sorry mods. Thought it would go into my edit above. I suck.
 

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