Personal Lolcows -

  • Downtime due to DDoS attacks still. I'm waiting on different providers to give me what I need to deal with it long-term.

Gaussiana

Central Impotent America
kiwifarms.net
Okay, I've been following this guy for a while. I found him because of some bizarre comments he made on an astronomy Facebook group.

pfp.jpg


TL;DR: Peruvian boomer thinks all of modern physics is wrong and has devised his own theoretical framework which he calls "Scientific Dialectic Materialism". He writes wall of text after wall of text of barely understandable interpretations of physical phenomena, personal definitions of fundamental concepts such as force, mass, energy, etc. Most amusing of all, he constantly challenges people to debates and writes lengthy responses to both trolling and genuine rebuttals/questions using creative insults and calling everyone dumb and/or lazy.

He's the La Filosofía del Conocimiento Científico guy. I took some liberties with the translations to make the messages closer to the writers original styles.

1.png
2.png

He then proceeds to say that a ton of feathers > a ton of lead and gives no further explanation.

He has an ongoing imaginary feud with Miguel Alcubierre, a Mexican theoretical physicist whom he hates and constantly shit talks about. To my knowledge, Alcubierre has never even acknowledged his existence.

alcubierre.png

A_D.png

Other people he hates:
  • Einstein
  • Stephen Hawking
  • Michio Kaku
  • Basically anyone who criticises him.
Despite being seemingly mentally unstable, he teaches at a Peruvian university and appears to be functional. He has a bit of the 'old person who doesn't understand the internet' syndrome and has made a horrifying amount of personal information public. There's so much more about this guy that I didn't include, I'd say he's almost thread worthy but idk if there's enough interest on the Internationale Clique section.
 

mitzi

"Hackers are nerdy, pasty, tubby, little geeks."
kiwifarms.net
My favorite at the moment is Zui Watts. I never even knew she existed until I joined a facebook group about "2005 internet nostalgia". Zui Watts, better known as ZUI SUICIDE back in the myspace days, was apparently involved with Audrey Kitching in a shitty MTV show called "Trashy Life" and appeared on a few episodes of "Paris Hilton's New BFF".

As one would expect, Zui completely faded out of the public's eye as she was just another anorexic bitch with big hair that sucked up to anyone with more followers in the hope of getting more internet fame.

Here are some pictures of Zui:

400full-zui-suicide.jpg

70c12bb2a7486b929065c60e78df8eea.jpg

19172.jpg



Now, like any other bitch whose ever had their 5 minutes of internet fame, Zui still considers herself an e-celeb and expects everyone to know who she is.

Until Zui made the mistake of posting on the aformentioned Facebook post.
1613080749772.jpg
1613080779190.png


Now I AM in this group and have been for a long time. I was one of the people who commented on her post with "Who are you?"
Believe me when I tell you no one bullied this fucking cow, no one said anything that would come over as bullying or harassment. Just people being genuinely curious about who she was and why she posted in a group about 2005 nostalgia. I get it, that was your niche. Entitlement is still gross.

Some DMs after people asked why she was so offended about the video and the comments asking who she is:
1613079997682.jpg
1613080072036.jpg
1618271761037.png


Fast forward twenty minutes later after the second picture's response and her leaving the group, I got curious and went to her Instagram page. That's where I encountered miss plastic-lips in tears. Enjoy this!



 
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Discourteous Discourse

¡THIS CHEESE IS BURNING ME!™
kiwifarms.net
Zui Watts, better known as ZUI SUICIDE
That's a name I haven't seen in years and totally forgot about. She looks rough. I used to keep up with that crowd because I thought at least one of them would OD or do a flip. Zui was at the top of my list because she was always in the shadows of other attention whores of the time like Audrey Kitching.

Speaking of Audrey, she got in trouble earlier this year after it was revealed that she was selling $3 Aliexpress earrings for $40+, among other things. She entered personal cow territory for me once again, but then started deleting social media accounts, setting the ones that remain to private, and removed her face from her company.
 

cockaine

spagooti
kiwifarms.net
Anna Nyulund

1517602641368.jpg
LinkedIn ARCHIVE
GitHub ARCHIVE
Medium ARCHIVE

She's a shitty programmer who thinks she's amazing. I don't claim to be much better, but I'm not an ass about it. She spends most of her time writing self completing blog posts and screeching at people who give her any form of criticism, constructive or not.

1618246377499.png1618246095712.pngc65c79aeae34ceef2a57de94866f2581.jpg

People on /g/ ree pretty hard whenever she's brought up, if you can't imagine. Some people think she's a troll, but I'm pretty sure she's just another hysterical narcissist in the corporate world.
 

IAmNotAlpharius

For the Emperor!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When you find those videos, let us know, because that sounds hilarious.
Found it. I don’t have an archive yet though (working on it downloaded but I’ll probably have to chop it into smaller pieces). He a-logs Tom & Jerry and he does a sin counter.:lit:



Some screenshots:
5044593E-880F-4FC9-A51B-09C11480A1F6.jpegE77CCA36-B4FF-49A0-BC21-FEB6ADB641DB.jpeg

I think he lives in the UK but I don’t know much about him.
 
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polyqueerandrosensual

Somehow-not-a-Lolcow
kiwifarms.net
Here's one I knew IRL. Briefly mentioned her in another thread.

Her parents gave her a name that only old ladies have, so she insisted on going by Luna Star, her online screen name or whatever, IRL. Even made teachers call her that but they never listened.

Fat. Like, really fat. The joke is that she's bigger than the celestial bodies she named herself after.

Lesbian, but not butch. Feminine with a soccer mom haircut. (Though apparently not a lesbian anymore? More on that later.)

Yaoi fangirl. Despite supposedly having been lesbian. Tbh lotsa lezzies like yaoi, no idea why.

But she hates gay men. Hated all men but especially gay men.

It partially has to do with this lezzie fantasy she had about being a mother to adopted or in vitro kids. She'd draw her ugly fursona (yeah she's a furfag, go figure) with an imaginary wife and kids. Spoiler alert: she's 30 and still childless.

She saw gay men as being "bad for kids" the way radfems tend to. When Adam Lambert did that sexxed up TV performance in 2009 (tame by today's standards, apologies incoming...), she got ultra butthurt about how much of a gross fag he was. Apparently gay men are only cute in anime.

She was an artist and started out actually decent, then MLP came along, she became obsessed and her art devolved into that shit. She now exclusively does pony commissions and gets butthurt that nobody wants them because it's her only form of income, because she dropped out of community college before even having a chance to get into the art school she wanted. She claims her mental illness prevents her from having an actual job.

She now identifies as "agender", even though she'd frequently bully me and call me a he-she for being a bit girly (but again, girly men are only cute in anime, right?).

Aaaaaand... she apparently now has an online boyfriend, although it's likely an FtTroon. I don't think she ever had an IRL s/o, she's still living at home and her parents don't allow sleepovers.

Also she's a pagan who does all the cringey witchy stuff.

I could go on about her but yeah you get the idea.
 

Jewthulhu

A rare deepwater Jew
kiwifarms.net
Okay, I've been following this guy for a while. I found him because of some bizarre comments he made on an astronomy Facebook group.

View attachment 2081661

TL;DR: Peruvian boomer thinks all of modern physics is wrong and has devised his own theoretical framework which he calls "Scientific Dialectic Materialism". He writes wall of text after wall of text of barely understandable interpretations of physical phenomena, personal definitions of fundamental concepts such as force, mass, energy, etc. Most amusing of all, he constantly challenges people to debates and writes lengthy responses to both trolling and genuine rebuttals/questions using creative insults and calling everyone dumb and/or lazy.

He's the La Filosofía del Conocimiento Científico guy. I took some liberties with the translations to make the messages closer to the writers original styles.

View attachment 2081706View attachment 2081744
He then proceeds to say that a ton of feathers > a ton of lead and gives no further explanation.

He has an ongoing imaginary feud with Miguel Alcubierre, a Mexican theoretical physicist whom he hates and constantly shit talks about. To my knowledge, Alcubierre has never even acknowledged his existence.


Other people he hates:
  • Einstein
  • Stephen Hawking
  • Michio Kaku
  • Basically anyone who criticises him.
Despite being seemingly mentally unstable, he teaches at a Peruvian university and appears to be functional. He has a bit of the 'old person who doesn't understand the internet' syndrome and has made a horrifying amount of personal information public. There's so much more about this guy that I didn't include, I'd say he's almost thread worthy but idk if there's enough interest on the Internationale Clique section.
Is he a commie? "Dialectic materialism" is another word for Marxism.
 

Legoshi

hunky bara wolf daddy
kiwifarms.net
In high school, there was a notorious wanker in my year who was nothing more than an obnoxious and selfish mooch. Let's call him Johnathan (not his real name). Johnathan owed people up to £2,000 that accumulated over the past few years that he needed to pay back and he never worked or studied a day in his life. There were also cases when he stole peoples' property that led to him getting suspended. He was only ever nice to others when he wanted something and was never afraid to use his "friends" as personal servants for simple tasks he could do himself like buying something from the store or cleaning his room. People eventually got fed up with the entitled arsehole and they eventually gave up with Johnathan. He's been close to expulsion quite a few times but was always let off by teachers who felt sorry for him. Johnathan's career goals was to be a pretentious wannabe rapper who never tried at school but expected things given to him without trying while blaming others for his failures. He also made a video about how beating women means that you're "disciplining them".

Haven't spoken to him in years and don't plan on getting in touch with him anytime soon.
 

Gaussiana

Central Impotent America
kiwifarms.net
Is he a commie? "Dialectic materialism" is another word for Marxism.
I don't think so, he has a degree in agricultural engineering or something like that and interestingly never brings politics into his posts, if anything he seems very detached from the real world. I think he just heard it somewhere and thought it sounded cool. If he was a commie or into Marxist analysis I think it would show up somewhere in his posts.

energyandmass.png

Again, most amusing part for me is how he responds to people.
challenge.png


Whenever he is actually challenged to live debates he chickens out or never shows up, he also responds non stop to comments (see amount of comments in the previous pic). I am aware my translation reads a bit grammatically off but it is just as odd in Spanish, like a person who wants to sound smart but ends up misusing uncommon words and making the whole text more lengthy and convoluted that it needs to be.

Beyond just his ideas, I'm completely fascinated with this guy because it's like someone gave unlimited internet access to that one weird uncle and now he's developing unhealthy parasocial relationships with strangers on Facebook. Really odd.
 

Notawaterbottle

kiwifarms.net
I had this one fucker, I meant him on I think Amino or some shit, one of those pedo-ridden fuckholes 20yr old grown-ass men with white Ford Vans go to try and wank off and bait teenage girls and trannies go to cry about their problems instead of fixing them. At first, he seemed fine until he asked the weirdest fucking question, "hey wanna join my secret society" or some shit like that. He then sent me a discord link to a server that had like 5 other people in it, and at that moment, I was dragged into the weirdest cult shit ever. This motherfucker sent me his second bible religious manifesto, called his religion Cecronism and went around begging people to join his stupid cult worshipping him as the messiah. Oh wait, I forgot to get into the, him being the messiah part and his harem of 13 yr old girls. He believed himself to be the reincarnation of his god Cercona, and that he would erase the world of sinners and liars, install himself in a monarcho-fascist dictatorship and rule the world starting from a revolution in his home in Florida. He believed that God manifested himself as a green dragon, that the devil was a red dragon and that Jesus Christ was a false idol, and he constantly throughout every interaction I had tried to hammer-down everyone's throat that he was a god. Especially in front of these three teenage girls, he baited into the server, who he, by the way, would constantly try to force into ERP in DMs. I managed to get some of them to leave and get away from him, and by the time I started ghosting him, they were all done talking to the creep. I being the fucking retard that I was, watched to see how this guy would act, cus this fucker was a paranoid nut, the moment you said anything that went against his holy bible and animu he would sperg in voice and block ya. Oh yeah, the anime part. He was, how do I describe it, ya know those guys on discord, the ones with Sasuke as their profile, with some part of the face blacked out, the ones who use anime gifs and always talk about how women are evil or some shit but still try way too hard to get that one e-girl in voice, and they spam shitty emo-rap that sounds like a depressed 17-yr old white kid got dumped and is scream-crying into the mic about it with a max volume bass trying to hide shitty vocals, yeah those guys, turn that into a religion. He literally put Google-translated Japanese into his bible and talked about buying Katanas to kill the people who fucked with him in high school. This is just the beginning of his retardom, but I'll leave it here,
I might try to get a hold of him to see if I can fuck with him more.

Holy shit I dug and found his youtube channel
Do what you with it what you will

If I can get in contact and fuck with him, I might write a thread, I remember him saying something about making a twitter so I'll try and see where that went

EDIT: found the jackpot, looked through and found the google doc for his manifesto, I'll attach the pdf
Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348
 
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polyqueerandrosensual

Somehow-not-a-Lolcow
kiwifarms.net
Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348
...lord please help us
 

yasscat

yass.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348
This will end well.
 

Carlito

Who's that boy!
kiwifarms.net
Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348
Obvious gay-op to fuck over someone you don't quite like. I'm calling it.
 

uncleShitHeel

Jiggling and Giggling at Shoes nudes
kiwifarms.net
This may come off as a joke but I mean it when I say it - actual manlets are persons of interest that should be closely watched. Being as short as 5'6" or below can lend itself to chronic inferiority complexes that may in turn cause the individuals to dominate and abuse their subordinates; that goes for their kids, pets, and the like.
Learning how to handle manlets early on, has come in useful over the years when dealing with little managers.
There's this kid at my school named Mario Ferrari. He's the biggest incel I have ever met in my entire life, and this is offline. He's also very autistic, militiant vegan, accidentally racist, and his voice sounds like Kermit the Frog. He has a track record of sexually harrassing various women on campus, such as one time he showed his penis on Facetime to a 15 year old girl (he's 17) and the uppermost staff got involved. He also said very explicit things to another girl I'm good friends with, I don't remember what they were talking about, but they talked about sex for almost 15 minutes straight.
Another thing I should mention is that I told him to get out of a seat, and he said he's going to be like "Rosa Parks" and refused to get out of his seat.
You're supposed to be over 18 to use this site as minors are technically not considered lolcows at the the time.

Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348

What is this? What is it with newfags being this exceptional?
 
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polyqueerandrosensual

Somehow-not-a-Lolcow
kiwifarms.net
I got 2 more cows to post about! Completely forgot about them until recently.

1. Nignog Cow

I mentioned him briefly in another thread. The one who drove with his knees while texting and almost caused us to crash. He's one of those nogs who thinks he's not like other nigs, but is exactly like other nigs.

His name is very unique so I won't post it. It isn't a nigname like Daykwon. It sounds like a last name if anything. He said his dad gave him the name because it was "respectable" and he frequently hated on people with nignames like Daykwon.

He respected his dad a lot... turns out, his dad left the family when the guy was 1 year old. Imagine my shock (also they were immigrants which is surprising since I thought only domestic nigs did that shit). So he never met him.

Huge misogynist who voluntarily became homeless because he didn't want to live with women (his mom and grandma). Moved back in after like a month.

Bisexual or gay who only dated white, despite having Black Power ish beliefs. Also would eat mayonnaise out of the jar. Idk if that has anything to do with it.

Later on became ex-gay due to all his insane conspiracy theories (in reality, as overcompensation that he couldn't get a date), including one that told him he "had to leave" so for a few months he moved to a shithole Middle Eastern country. Didn't last long there. Idk what happened after he moved back home again.

2. "Genderfluid" Cow

Someone I worked with, I'll call him Brad. He acted autistic af to the point he had to be. Just had to. He never mentioned it but it was obvious.

He introduced himself to everyone as being genderfluid, and that his "female name" was Jenny. When in female mode, he'd wear a bow in his hair so you knew which name to use. My job actually let him have 2 name tags. He did all of this so casually, as if it was completely normal. Tumblr must've had him by the balls.

He'd talk out loud about awkward topics like troon porn. Seriously, his first convo with me, he began talking about it and Buck Angel and how well he passes or some shit. That's how he introduced himself to me. Luckily the only other person in the break room was an old coworker who didn't speak much English.

One time he sat me and my coworker friend down and told us, in the most serious tone ever, that he had AIDS. Then like 30 seconds later, as we were figuring out how to reply, he'd say "Just kidding!" and laughed manaically.

Would walk around in public wearing tutus over his clothes. Often smelled of b.o. The cops would constantly show up at my job because he'd say he was gonna kill himself and he'd do a stint in the psych ward.

Me and my friend tried to help him and be nice to him but it got to be too much. I honestly felt bad for him. And he was actually really cute tbh.
 

NerdShamer

International Glownigger Commander
kiwifarms.net
This guy was already posted on here. Normal he's doing unboxing vids, let's plays, or celebrating the anniversary of his plushies. But recently,he snapped over being called a "child" and filmed his computer screen with...Well, the thumbnail is self-explanatory


Why do people call him a child?


The world will never know.​
 
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