Personal Lolcows -

WonderGirl

The Wonder Girl
kiwifarms.net
This guy was already posted on here. Normal he's doing unboxing vids, let's plays, or celebrating the anniversary of his plushies. But recently,he snapped over being called a "child" and filmed his computer screen with...Well, the thumbnail is self-explanatory


Why do people call him a child?


The world will never know.​
Man, He needs to directly upload pictures on his computer via a video editing software and directly uploading the photo as a thumbnail instead of taking it with his computer.
 

NerdShamer

International Glownigger Commander
kiwifarms.net
Man, He needs to directly upload pictures on his computer via a video editing software and directly uploading the photo as a thumbnail instead of taking it with his computer.
Well, Bandicam is free if it's under 10 minutes...But do you genuinely expect an autist to improve their YouTube channel? Because CWC didn't until he actually got a new camera.
 
I know this german girl from Berlin, she is a walking disaster.
She is 23, she has bipolar, the serious kind, by now she already was in the hospital like 4 times for several moths at a time. But her bipolar is more mania than depression.
But this alone doesnt mean she qulifies, it just adds to the fire.
Her parents are german left-wing hippies. Her father works as high-pay independant IT contractor. So high pay, in fact, that they were able to afford 2 houses with 4 flats each for renting. On the dowside the houses are in Dusseldorf, the ground zero of german rust belt. Her mother basically spends her time doig weird shit. Like recently she turned one of the bathrooms into the birdhouse for pigeons she collects on the street. They resigned from anything we will consider normal to go through growing up- disciplining, learning social norms and social skills, getting advised on how to proceed in life. Personally I blame her parents for the upbringing, not the BPD.
Anyway, her life is just one self-created disaster after another.
She claims to be gender-fluid pansexual in polyamorous relationship. Behaves like a woman, has a pussy, sleeps around all the time- this is how it looks.
She is unhygenic- she showers like every 4 days, eats crumbling cookies in the bed, doesnt wash her clothes that often etc. When me, her and a couple of other people were on vacation she had a whoopsy during the night so her pants crotch area was covered in blood. She is so based she just continued to wear them for 2 next days and we had to make her wear a tied shirt around her waist to cover it.
Besides regular hook ups she a boyfriend- he is now on the 4th try to finish the basic metallurgy course to become a smith. He claims to have depression, but doesnt take any pills, go to any doctors or take any other measures. He just keeps complaining to her how hard his life is. Oh and he has bed bugs, In 21st century, in the first world this fucker has managed to get the bed bugs. Naturally he gave them to her, so now all our communications are at the distance. He also has several women he sleeps with, which kindda makes you a bit annoyed until you realise that those women aren't really high quality. Kindda easy to understand why she sticks by him- he feeds into her fantasy world, he is an enabler of the worst kind.
With her it's a lot of small thing every time, hard to pin point the exact moments, but imagime that if you can do something wrong in any way- this is the way she'll go with.
Sad part of it is that she is naturally pretty, isn't stupid, genually creative and I kindda like those parts of her. But I'm not dumb enough to make any moves. Its more like distant melancholia of what she could've been even with bipolar if her parents weren't fuck headed hippies.

Also my personal favorites are all kinds of quack pseudo-sciences like astronomy and homeopathy. People who follow one of those never end there, so its fascinating to go through their internet presence and untangle all their questionable believes- neo-pagan nazism, militant veganism, cults etc. etc.
 

AN - THR4X

Known War Criminal
kiwifarms.net
I used to be in that server too. if you could, dm me on discord my at is AnimeGodEli#0038. I need to know more about Carson
Hey man I have no idea how this website works and I made this account to talk to you. I was actually part of that cult in around 2019. I tried my best to remove it from my memory because I was a middle school girl at the time, but I just can't forget it. He found me on Animo or something too and would try to force me and my friends into ERP just as u described. I was wondering if you still have more information on him. (I know I am late and sorry for that) If you do add me on discord hihello#5348
I’ll talk
But both are definitely glowing like a fed
Not going to be amazed if this is just a gay-ops by one of Carson’s Autists
 
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Crex Crex

Crashing this plane with no survivors
kiwifarms.net
When I was in middle school the "class lolcow" (which I suspect was likely autistic but not diagnosed officially) began freaking out after an ant climbed his pen. Like, he was paralized from fear: he was trembling and had a thousand yard stare. Because of an ant.
Much more recently, asked a friend of mine to help him cross the road because he (the lolcow) "couldn't do it himself" despite having no physical disabilities. There is more stuff but listing all of it is too tedious.
 

Chaos Theorist

It would be spiteful To put jellyfish in a trifle
kiwifarms.net
When I was in middle school the "class lolcow" (which I suspect was likely autistic but not diagnosed officially) began freaking out after an ant climbed his pen. Like, he was paralized from fear: he was trembling and had a thousand yard stare. Because of an ant.
Much more recently, asked a friend of mine to help him cross the road because he (the lolcow) "couldn't do it himself" despite having no physical disabilities. There is more stuff but listing all of it is too tedious.
What kind of road was it?
 

Maxxicus Callahan

kiwifarms.net
I had a personal lolcow for some time, a little too personal. I briefly went to college with this really strange autistic guy, who became rather infamous for his antics. He followed me around trying to get me to act in one of his videos. I initially expressed an interest to help him and then he told me I’d have to take off my pants for the role so I flat out told him no. He couldn’t take no for an answer and kept bugging me about it for months following me around even onto the bus while running his mouth in public about bullshit, like saying Hitler is someone he admires for showing his power by killing so many people. I was too nice to tell this nutter off when I should have, One time when he followed me a guy sitting nearby lost it on him and threatened to stab him and toss his body into the river. He thought I was his friend and called me Judas for not standing up for him, I just tried to maintain a distance at all times to appear like I wasn’t associated with him. I’m trying to think of where to start with this drama lama. Here’s a video to give you an idea of how crazy he is. Just imagine he’s more than 6ft tall too.

I met him in a video foundations program. It wasn’t long before we all became aware of his strange series of videos on his many YouTube channels. Unfortunately much of his content was scrubbed by himself after he wound up on the front page of the local paper for causing a bus driver to lose his shit in a video that went viral. I don’t know what he’s got in his short pockets but whatever it is it’s shaped like a dildo. Also he never stopped wearing those same shorts even when it was -20 degrees Celsius in winter.
All I know about what sparked this incident is that he was reading off some script babbling some weird shit like “I hate the pregnancy but I love the nudity” and dinging the stop bell at every stop. It also turns out the poor guy driving had lost his mother and wife in the same year had been spat on by another passenger that same week and didn’t take any time off for vacation so no wonder he lost it with this guy late at night acting like a loon.

I felt really bad for this driver losing his job if I’m not mistaken I think he got it back though. This guy pushes buttons for no fucking reason and even admits that he enjoys eliciting reactions of anger in his own words in a video he left up for some reason.

A friend and I being fans of shit films watched his entire series of videos on his channel, his most famous being his park bench series. To his credit he managed to rope in a lot of actors into his productions which is impressive for someone this dysfunctional. I don’t know how he did it. This video sums up the content.

This is super cringe he somehow lured a lady to kiss in this one on his Vimeo channel

There’s another video I want to post but I can’t find it now but it’s really well shot and properly made and it makes me struggle to understand like how did he get this cast and crew for these terrible productions, like how?!

Finally his conclusion, he went into music thinking he was Syd Barrette. I saw him one day busking on the street and threw him a few bucks to ask how he was doing. He told me he was protesting with his music, singing songs like Convenience is a Vice! Put down your iPhone put down your iPhone! And told me the cops ticketed him for annoying people at the bus stop but he still kept coming. A shit disturber until the end.

He invited me over to his apartment. I told my friend and he dared me to go so I did. My friend thought that maybe I could get some of his original movies off of him that we hadn’t yet seen. His apartment was in a giant high rise, I had been there before actually my girlfriends co-worker friend lived there also and later when I told her about my visit she finally understood where all the howling and piano playing she could hear in the halls was coming from.

He opened the door and greeted me playing his guitar and invited me in. A dildo was suctioned cupped onto the entrance wall at eye level when I walked in. The first thing I noticed was that there were papers scattered around everywhere with poems on them and a type writer on the dining table with papers jammed in it. It was horrifying I didn’t want to turn my back on him. In retrospect I should have taken more pictures of the place, I got some of them on a drive somewhere truth be told they aren’t that interesting. The carpets looked moldy in parts and stank of puke and vinegar and there were cigarette butts littered everywhere. I asked him about the movies but he was rambling so incoherently about nonsense I couldn’t get through to him and then when he finally understood what I was asking he went silent and looked down. He told me that this is all gone now and that he is no longer that person anymore. He actually apologized to me for all the shit he put me through in the past. I told him my friend and I are fans of your work and he smiled.

As you can imagine it was very uncomfortable being there so I was looking to get ready to leave but he wanted me to stay to hear him play his keyboard piano. It wasn’t actually terrible from what I remember, I did manage to get an external computer monitor off of him in the end for $20 and that made the visit kind of worth it except I realized getting home even the monitor contained the pukey stench of his carpets. I thought it would be interesting as a photographer to go back and capture some of the scenes of this mans bizarre existence but I didn’t hear back and I found out he had died later that month.

Edit: I think he found someone for his pantless roll in the end thankfully it wasn’t me.
 
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Maxxicus Callahan

kiwifarms.net
Just discovered this Japanese YouTuber who thinks Uber Eats couriers and anyone on bicycle with a backpack is gang stalking him
Also he claims to be gang stalked and yet he’s stalking other people for doing jackshit.
It’s funny how there are an endless number of gang stalking victims worldwide being targeted in the same way by this global cabal. You have to wonder who is pulling the strings here this guy in Japan and Canada must be into something deep to both be on that same list.

Not only that (((they))) operate on the astral plane as well. He didn’t just have a gay dream oh no, there was something deeper going on here when Jimmy woke up with a sore ass and a mysterious rash.
 
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cancermonger

kiwifarms.net
𝑫𝒓. 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝑾𝒆𝒆𝒓𝒅#6531

Personal lolcow/personal army crosspost
 

palmtreesalad

Add some Croutons
kiwifarms.net
I know a 30 year old cow that is definitely been my source of amusement for about 4 years now.

I assume she is schizophrenic or autistic. Maybe even both. Anyways, she's always posting shit on Facebook that makes absolutely no sense. These posts cover a variety of topics ranging from her lying about meeting celebrities, time traveling, clones, pakistani men hacking her phone, people stealing from her, intimate health issues she's dealing with, and has even accused her roommate of giving her plastic surgery while she slept lol. She also accuses random people of being spies from the government.

She somehow manages to get laid and had a baby with some fat guy a few years ago. She has made posts saying he's mentally ill. Another time she said he was suffering from terminal cancer, and mentioned that he died at one point. I'm willing to be he's fine, probably regretting knocking up an autist though. CPS almost did their job right and took the poor girl away from this nutjob .. and of course she won custody again. She claims that Donald Trump himself helped her win her child back. I would post screen caps of her page but it's taken my years to even be able to decipher what she's typing. Not only are her posts nonsensical in general but her grammar is atrocious. She reminds me of Pamela Swain if she misspelled every other word and had 30 run on sentences in each post.
 

Anon_Fluoride

“Terminally Online Zoomer”
kiwifarms.net
So mine kinda ties in with the yanderedev saga, which is a bit funny, but I am connected via a mutual acquaintance to one of troglodytes who helped YanderDev out.
They go by Glitchcloud, and make reallllllyyyy shitty music, which appeals to like, three people max. But that's not the amusing part. The amusing part is that, well, they basically do nothing but whine. It seems they learned quite a bit from yanderedev himself, in that regard.

Unfortunately, their twitch (twitch.tv/tvsleep) has been deleted, so I may only laugh at their tweets now. (@ToxicAssWhore).

A major funny thing in the timeline is when they and the mutual were in a gay relationship with each other- all the way up until Mr. AssWhore found out that the mutual had voted for trump in the election. Hilarity ensued, as he essentially burned every bridge possible with him literally within minutes, and then proceeded to whine for the next six weeks about the mutual having more followers and views than them.


Moral of the story? Stay out of E-Relationships.
 

Internet_Loner

kiwifarms.net
I had a personal lolcow for some time, a little too personal. I briefly went to college with this really strange autistic guy, who became rather infamous for his antics. He followed me around trying to get me to act in one of his videos. I initially expressed an interest to help him and then he told me I’d have to take off my pants for the role so I flat out told him no. He couldn’t take no for an answer and kept bugging me about it for months following me around even onto the bus while running his mouth in public about bullshit, like saying Hitler is someone he admires for showing his power by killing so many people. I was too nice to tell this nutter off when I should have, One time when he followed me a guy sitting nearby lost it on him and threatened to stab him and toss his body into the river. He thought I was his friend and called me Judas for not standing up for him, I just tried to maintain a distance at all times to appear like I wasn’t associated with him. I’m trying to think of where to start with this drama lama. Here’s a video to give you an idea of how crazy he is. Just imagine he’s more than 6ft tall too.

I met him in a video foundations program. It wasn’t long before we all became aware of his strange series of videos on his many YouTube channels. Unfortunately much of his content was scrubbed by himself after he wound up on the front page of the local paper for causing a bus driver to lose his shit in a video that went viral. I don’t know what he’s got in his short pockets but whatever it is it’s shaped like a dildo. Also he never stopped wearing those same shorts even when it was -20 degrees Celsius in winter.
All I know about what sparked this incident is that he was reading off some script babbling some weird shit like “I hate the pregnancy but I love the nudity” and dinging the stop bell at every stop. It also turns out the poor guy driving had lost his mother and wife in the same year had been spat on by another passenger that same week and didn’t take any time off for vacation so no wonder he lost it with this guy late at night acting like a loon.

I felt really bad for this driver losing his job if I’m not mistaken I think he got it back though. This guy pushes buttons for no fucking reason and even admits that he enjoys eliciting reactions of anger in his own words in a video he left up for some reason.

A friend and I being fans of shit films watched his entire series of videos on his channel, his most famous being his park bench series. To his credit he managed to rope in a lot of actors into his productions which is impressive for someone this dysfunctional. I don’t know how he did it. This video sums up the content.

This is super cringe he somehow lured a lady to kiss in this one on his Vimeo channel

There’s another video I want to post but I can’t find it now but it’s really well shot and properly made and it makes me struggle to understand like how did he get this cast and crew for these terrible productions, like how?!

Finally his conclusion, he went into music thinking he was Syd Barrette. I saw him one day busking on the street and threw him a few bucks to ask how he was doing. He told me he was protesting with his music, singing songs like Convenience is a Vice! Put down your iPhone put down your iPhone! And told me the cops ticketed him for annoying people at the bus stop but he still kept coming. A shit disturber until the end.

He invited me over to his apartment. I told my friend and he dared me to go so I did. My friend thought that maybe I could get some of his original movies off of him that we hadn’t yet seen. His apartment was in a giant high rise, I had been there before actually my girlfriends co-worker friend lived there also and later when I told her about my visit she finally understood where all the howling and piano playing she could hear in the halls was coming from.

He opened the door and greeted me playing his guitar and invited me in. A dildo was suctioned cupped onto the entrance wall at eye level when I walked in. The first thing I noticed was that there were papers scattered around everywhere with poems on them and a type writer on the dining table with papers jammed in it. It was horrifying I didn’t want to turn my back on him. In retrospect I should have taken more pictures of the place, I got some of them on a drive somewhere truth be told they aren’t that interesting. The carpets looked moldy in parts and stank of puke and vinegar and there were cigarette butts littered everywhere. I asked him about the movies but he was rambling so incoherently about nonsense I couldn’t get through to him and then when he finally understood what I was asking he went silent and looked down. He told me that this is all gone now and that he is no longer that person anymore. He actually apologized to me for all the shit he put me through in the past. I told him my friend and I are fans of your work and he smiled.

As you can imagine it was very uncomfortable being there so I was looking to get ready to leave but he wanted me to stay to hear him play his keyboard piano. It wasn’t actually terrible from what I remember, I did manage to get an external computer monitor off of him in the end for $20 and that made the visit kind of worth it except I realized getting home even the monitor contained the pukey stench of his carpets. I thought it would be interesting as a photographer to go back and capture some of the scenes of this mans bizarre existence but I didn’t hear back and I found out he had died later that month.

Edit: I think he found someone for his pantless roll in the end thankfully it wasn’t me.
You found 8Bit Brodys clone?
 

Let's Love Lain

mfw
kiwifarms.net
Not sure if this really merits a new thread but have any of you ever unintentionally befriended a lolcow?

I have had the pleasure of being around a few lolcows in a server I used to frequent and I found their antics really amusing. But I was faced with the dilemma that if people keep shitting on them they would just leave and so would my entertainment. So I routinely made sure to praise them or be nice whenever possible in order to keep them around. This lead to some weird situations however where they thought we were genuinely friends and then I felt bad for them so I would play along. Weirdly, forcing myself to be nice to them psychologically just made me actually start liking them and I did genuinely consider them friends.

I'm reminded of something I saw once regarding Lolcows, they need at least some support or they will leave, so I ended up being that support. But if anybody has advice on how to be supportive whilst also maintaining that distance I'd be happy to hear some advice.
 

Glass Sealing

He/him lesbian (V*MPIRES DNI)
kiwifarms.net
I just found out about this guy today, and was surprised/disappointed to not see anyone mentioning him.

His name is Daniel Schütz, otherwise known as Jeremy Fragrance. He's a German 'fragrance reviewer' (he smells and sells perfume) that's apparently somewhat infamous for shilling his overpriced perfume and generally acting very strange.
An average video on his youtube channel is usually about something pertaining to fragrances (theres a lot of top 10/5 videos) where he starts off by twirling around, and the comments are overwhelmingly positive. In the video "My Gay Past" (which is a very convoluted video where he talks in circles about having a past where he lied to cover up a rape suit and how he reconciled using religion that ends with him shilling another cologne after a run on sentence) he straight up admits to deleting all 'negative' comments. As with pretty much every straight (yes, he's straight) male beauty Youtuber he has a lot of videos and items catering to "alpha" males and has a bit of an obsession with the 'sexiest' perfumes. There's also a few obligatory sexual harassment claims.
In the past, he made a video about how he was totally quitting YouTube you guise. He then proceeded to make more videos and delete the old one. Apparently half the fragrance community hates his ass and the other half love him.

His German channel has apparently made him a bit of a meme over there. I like this one
"I also jack off, but I [laughs], but I… I do it for strategic reasons. And I… I don’t cum. So, um, it’s definitely part of my daily life."
He has a tendency to repeat things and explain them strangely. I thought it might be the language barrier, but in this video it seems like he does it in German, too.

So while his main YouTue channel looks pretty average from a distance (like i said, I just found out about this guy; don't give enough of a shit right now to watch) there's a multitude of deleted videos from him.

He got into a bit of drama for overestimating how big he was. He has his own perfume company he shills (Fragrance One) and made a controversial video about how he was going to triple the price.

His TikTok has some weird videos on it. Most are just "guys check out this fragrance" but he also posts videos like, uhh.. these (If someone has a good way to put tiktok vids on here please let me know)
(i dont think posting JEREMY FRAGRANCE MEMES 3 is credible but there's a specific TikTok i wanted to post)

The way I tried to write about him doesn't feel tat cowish though, but he's funny enough for a few videos
 

Spare Hyena

kiwifarms.net
I just found out about this guy today, and was surprised/disappointed to not see anyone mentioning him.

His name is Daniel Schütz, otherwise known as Jeremy Fragrance. He's a German 'fragrance reviewer' (he smells and sells perfume) that's apparently somewhat infamous for shilling his overpriced perfume and generally acting very strange.
An average video on his youtube channel is usually about something pertaining to fragrances (theres a lot of top 10/5 videos) where he starts off by twirling around, and the comments are overwhelmingly positive. In the video "My Gay Past" (which is a very convoluted video where he talks in circles about having a past where he lied to cover up a rape suit and how he reconciled using religion that ends with him shilling another cologne after a run on sentence) he straight up admits to deleting all 'negative' comments. As with pretty much every straight (yes, he's straight) male beauty Youtuber he has a lot of videos and items catering to "alpha" males and has a bit of an obsession with the 'sexiest' perfumes. There's also a few obligatory sexual harassment claims.
In the past, he made a video about how he was totally quitting YouTube you guise. He then proceeded to make more videos and delete the old one. Apparently half the fragrance community hates his ass and the other half love him.

His German channel has apparently made him a bit of a meme over there. I like this one
"I also jack off, but I [laughs], but I… I do it for strategic reasons. And I… I don’t cum. So, um, it’s definitely part of my daily life."
He has a tendency to repeat things and explain them strangely. I thought it might be the language barrier, but in this video it seems like he does it in German, too.

So while his main YouTue channel looks pretty average from a distance (like i said, I just found out about this guy; don't give enough of a shit right now to watch) there's a multitude of deleted videos from him.

He got into a bit of drama for overestimating how big he was. He has his own perfume company he shills (Fragrance One) and made a controversial video about how he was going to triple the price.

His TikTok has some weird videos on it. Most are just "guys check out this fragrance" but he also posts videos like, uhh.. these (If someone has a good way to put tiktok vids on here please let me know)
(i dont think posting JEREMY FRAGRANCE MEMES 3 is credible but there's a specific TikTok i wanted to post)

The way I tried to write about him doesn't feel tat cowish though, but he's funny enough for a few videos
 

naught

I'm going to unlock all the achievements.
kiwifarms.net
I made a post about this guy since there's no Japanese lolcow board it takes a while for me to gather content.

naught here with a somewhat unorthodox and exotic Japanese lolcow, the content will be sparse since I can't 100% read Japanese.
(http://n2ch.net/r/-/loser/1559191456/?guid=ON&rc=24)
This is one in a series of 2ch threads dedicated to a man named 奥田 (Okuda) that I've been following on and off for a year or so. Okuda is a middle-school dropout hikki/NEET in his 50's currently living by himself in Tokyo. He's basically the Japanese equivalent of a "lolcow", and all the threads are dedicated to quoting and making fun of the ludicrous number of tweets he puts out each day.



Vast majority of his tweets are talking about trying to find a marriage partner (婚活. His main reason for moving to Tokyo was apparently to find a wife (even though he doesn't leave his house). He's obsessed with idols and has been blocked by several for making creepy comments or flaming them because they cut their hair, or similar things. Also frequently makes angry tweets about young people wasting their time by not getting married.

He doesn't work and hasn't since dropping out of school, but is trying (and not really succeeding) to become an author. I think he's trying to write some sort of sci-fi novel based on this blog.
(https://ameblo.jp/okuda-hiroki/) / (https://archive.fo/uFNcg)

He also hates the current Japanese government and considers himself a "revolutionary", despite just tweeting and playing games all day.

And lastly, he's extremely paranoid. This is evidenced by some of his tweets where thinks normal people walking outside are stalking him or are yakuza. He has cameras set up around his house to film outside.

One of his tweets:
>なあ、革命の俺が、本当に茶髪の事を人と認めてると思う?
人間扱いしているのは、あくまでも、サービスなんだよ・・・。
とにかく、結婚は、黒髪の人としたいね・・・。
>Hey, do you think I, a revolutionary, recognize people with dyed brown hair as humans? Treating them like humans is only a service. At any rate, I'd like to get married to someone with black hair.

Social media: (https://twitter.com/hiroki_okuda) / (https://archive.fo/qebye)
(https://ameblo.jp/okuda-hiroki/) / (https://archive.fo/uFNcg)
 
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