Pet Sematary (2019) -

  • Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Waiting on a response from upstream.

Bush did USS Maine

Coal fires don't sink steel hulls
kiwifarms.net
This movie was getting good early reviews and the trailer looked pretty good, so I went to see it. I haven't read the book or seen the original adaptation, so I can't compare this to those, but this is an intensely mediocre movie. I have the same problem with this movie that I had with the IT film from a couple years ago: they do an ok job setting up a creepy atmosphere, then they try and do something with it and you get a pretty mediocre jump scare. I can only assume many of the reviewers who called it "horrifying" or said that "you'll remain on edge well after it concludes" have never seen a horror movie before. It's got a couple of weird things that I thought were subplots, but they never actually did anything with. I'm not sure if if that is a holdover from the book, or just an attempt to rush through the movie. It's only about an hour and half, so I don't see why there couldn't be more of an expansion on some points.

Some random thoughts, maybe someone who read the book can clarify some points for me:
  1. The first jump scare is right after the family moves to the house. Husband and wife are talking, all of a sudden semi-truck blasts by at 800mph. This startles wife, except I have no idea how she couldn't hear it coming. I know why the audience didn't hear it coming though: hack writing to create a jump scare and "foreshadowing". The driver is laying on the horn while blowing past too, which... why?
  2. In the same vein of terrible film-making, at the little girl's birthday party we see here running into the street to go hang out with zombie cat, just sitting there. That's fine, I know she's about to get smacked by a truck, even if I'm just wondering why she's such a retard that she just sits in the road. After that, we get the truck incoming and then the movie cuts to the little two or three year old running towards the street. Why? I already know the little girl is sitting there, it doesn't add any tension to the scene or anything. All it does it make it more awkward when dad saves the boy and little girl gets pancaked. Why were the parents not even paying any attention to either of their kids?
  3. I don't understand the old dude's motivation. I just kinda assumed he was "creepy old guy" character who would be evil, and he was the one who had the father bury the cat, but he seemed to be friendly to the family and genuinely like them, yet still helped bring the pet back to life seemingly knowing nothing good could come from it? I mean, he states "Well, my dog came back bad, but he had a mean streak, I thought the cat was nicer so it might work out", yet the movie also implies that he brought his wife back by burying there and that didn't go well either. He never tells the father this, of course. And if he had good and pure motivations trying to help bring the cat back, why is he so shady about it when he takes the dad to bury the cat in the first place? Really baffling.
  4. Speaking of baffling characters, the black ghost dude? First he tells dad "some boundaries shouldn't be crossed", then he brings dad to the burial ground area in a dream sequence, then when dad goes to bury daughter he tries warning dad against doing so, then we last see him telling mom and baby to go home to their death? Who even was he? As far as I could tell he was just some random college student. Why is he warning the father about the boundaries? Does he know the future? How does he know of the burial ground? Was this something more important in the book? My assumption after I left the theater was there were 2 versions of this spirit, one good and one evil, or something. It's the only way I could make sense of it.
  5. The Wendigo. Was this an important element in the book? You just get a sketch of the monster, then kinda see it in the background for a bit while the movie focuses on it, then never hear of it again.
  6. Does coming back undead make you super strong or something? I get why it was easy for her to take down and kill old dude, she ambushed and killed him. But then she's wrestling with the mother later, and I'm just astounded by the mother's apparent inability to take a nine year old girl in a fight. Then the mother just throws the girl off her at one point anyway.
In summary, 5/10 movie. The acting is pretty good for what they were given, but it's otherwise an incredibly standard cliched horror movie. Maybe people who are huge fans of Stephen King or horror movies in general will get something out of it, because it is a competent enough film to not be utter garbage, but this is honestly at best worth a rental.
 

Bush did USS Maine

Coal fires don't sink steel hulls
kiwifarms.net
Don't get me wrong, I expect jump scares from most horror movies, I just think they can be done better or worse. This movie mostly does worse. I was just expecting a little better based on some of the earlier reviews I had seen calling it terrifying.
 

OhGoy

i'm out
kiwifarms.net
It's spelled Cemetery you retrad.
p16080296_p_v8_ac.jpg

Edit: okay niggers, what's the joke?
 
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Kari Kamiya

"I beat her up, so I gave her a cuck-cup."
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
With all of these Stephen King remakes, the one I'm most looking forward to is Misery. I predict they'll modernize it by making the nurse a crazed Tumblrina who stalked her favorite writer she was a fan of back when he-now-she wrote fan fiction before transitioning to original work (and into a woman), but the Tumblrina never got out of her crazy "OMG good fic plz udpate!1!" phase when she held the tranny author hostage to force the tranny to bring her Misery back to life or she'll make her own AU and pass it off as canon after driving the tranny away from Twitter and to suicide.
 

The Nothingness

The one with no body!
kiwifarms.net
I'll try to do my best and answer some of the questions you asked based of my recollection from the novel and the first film adaptation.
First off, I don't get what the point was changing which child would be killed. One of the main points in the novel is having the parents explain death to their daughter while the mother, scarred from the early death of her sister, is hesitant to bring up the subject. The neighbor brought the father to the ancient burial ground because Louis (the father) was fretting about telling his daughter the cat was killed while she was away. Based on the dreams Louis has with the college student, it seems the Wendigo targeted the family when they arrived and when they were introduced to the Pet Sematary (the book describes Louis seeing something in the woods as he is buries the son in the burial ground). My guess is the college student was a spirit of a past victim as it is hinted the burial ground was used for victims of cannibalism (hence why the Wendigo residences there) and was using the image of the college student because his death was a traumatic experience for Louis.
I hope this helps you out.
 
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Duncan Hills Coffee

Whaddya mean booze ain't food?!
kiwifarms.net
I'll try to do my best and answer some of the questions you asked based of my recollection from the novel and the first film adaptation.
First off, I don't get what the point was changing which child would be killed. One of the main points in the novel is having the parents explain death to their daughter while the mother, scarred from the early death of her sister, makes her hesitant to bring up the subject. The neighbor brought the father to the ancient burial ground because Louis (the father) was fretting about telling his daughter the cat was killed while she was away. Based on the dreams Louis has with the college student, it seems the Wendigo targeted the family when they arrived and when they were introduced to the Pet Sematary (Louis is said to have seen something in the woods as he is buries the son in the burial ground). My guess is the college student was a spirit of a past victim as it is hinted the burial ground was used for victims of cannibalism (hence why the Wendigo residences there) and was using the image of the college student because his death was a traumatic experience for Louis.
I hope this helps you out.
This was spoiled in the trailer for me, but them changing which child died really annoyed me because the baby getting run over is one of the most grotesquely sad moments Stephen King ever produced. It succeeds because it plays on that
(not unreasonable) fear that really young children are liable to hurt themselves. You don't get that same impact when it's a 10 year old girl. Yeah it's sad that a child dies, but it doesn't create that same sadness and shock compared to a baby.

It also annoys me because it just shows this movie didn't have the same fearlessness IT did when it killed the 6 year old in largely the same way.

Of course, I also agree with you that by killing Ellie, it removes that all-important plot point of learning that death is a part of life. That's probably why they aged her up as well, but all the same I don't see how the movie can carry the power and weight of the book (which is one of King's best).
 

Tasty Tatty

kiwifarms.net
The best thing we all can do is to NOT watch remakes or reboots. And if we do, we pirate them.

Probably it's nostalgia but I have good memories of the original adaptation.


With all of these Stephen King remakes, the one I'm most looking forward to is Misery. I predict they'll modernize it by making the nurse a crazed Tumblrina who stalked her favorite writer she was a fan of back when he-now-she wrote fan fiction before transitioning to original work (and into a woman), but the Tumblrina never got out of her crazy "OMG good fic plz udpate!1!" phase when she held the tranny author hostage to force the tranny to bring her Misery back to life or she'll make her own AU and pass it off as canon after driving the tranny away from Twitter and to suicide.
Imagine the takes on how Hollywood hates fans and how they don't get that fans are totally justified on stalking authors because authors OWE them their time and attention.
 

Dolphin Lundgren

One suave fucker.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I wanted to see this one because of John Lithgow. But I also think it looks good. Honestly the old version doesn't hold up for me and I think it could be done better.
 

cypocraphy

Deader than the parents on "Party Of Five"
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Was Timmy Baterman portrayed well at least?
 

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