Let's Sperg Pete vs. His Steam Library - Because sometimes games are homework

[Handsome Pete]

I'm not much of a gamer. Every so often I'll find a game that holds my interest, but I don't make much of a distinction between casual and hardcore (I've devoted roughly equal time to Dark Souls and Neko Atsume). I have one weakness, though:

Cheap games.

Between 80%-off Steam sales and bundles that give you 5-6 games for $10, I've amassed an embarrassingly large Steam library on a tiny budget. 20 years ago, these would have been the games you rented from Blockbuster, played for a couple days, and then never actually bought. Now, though, for the price of a rental, they give you a copy to sit in your library and taunt you forever.

Then I realized something: who better to give game recommendations than a bunch of raging autists? So here's my weirdly diverse list of neglected games. You nice folks will decide which one I have to play for your amusement.

Spoiler: The List

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Anodyne
Batman: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Broken Age (yeah, yeah, I know)
Brutal Legend
Evoland
Fez (I know, I know)
Final Fantasy XIII (please don't pick this one)
Gunpoint
Hack 'n' Slash
Hotline Miami
Lisa
Rayman Origins
Shank
South Park: The Stick of Truth
SpaceChem
The Stanley Parable
To the Moon
Transistor
Uplink
The Walking Dead, season 1
You Have to Win the Game

Will you point me towards a personal favorite of yours, or make me suffer through something I'll probably hate? Will the preponderance of sensitive indie games brainwash me against the noble cause of Ethics? My fate is in your hands.

 

[alex_theman]

Since I don't hate you, Hotline Miami.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Since I don't hate you, Hotline Miami.

Hell, I'm just grateful anyone voted at all. Hotline Miami it is. I'll even update the OP like this was a real thread or something.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Double post; don't care. Here's my stupid thoughts on Hotline Miami.

Why I originally bought it:
Everyone kept recommending it, and it was on sale.

Why I stopped playing it:
I sucked at it.

How things went this time:
I sucked less. Enough to finish the game over the course of a weekend, albeit with thoroughly mediocre grades at the end of every level. I could sperg all day about visual storytelling or the meticulously rendered pixel art, but I won't. Instead, I'll just congratulate whoever made the game for staying the hell out of the player's way. All the non-game parts of the game were kept to a minimum, and as hazy and hallucinatory as it got in places, it never tried to make any bold statements about... oh, I don't know, audience complicity in fictional violence or what-the-fuck-ever. So thank you, weird game-design nerds, for not thinking you were changing the world.

Has DSP played it?
Yes he has. I'm heading over to watch that right now.

Stray thoughts:

• Why aren't there more memes based on this? I know there are some, but it felt like almost everything could have been one.
• The unicorn mask felt like cheating, but once I got it I basically never took it off.
• Same with the collie mask.
  
• I wanted to avoid using the katana because they're overused in every game, but I underestimated the appeal of cutting a dude in half.
• That health club level was bullshit.
• I have no idea what percentage of the hidden stuff I found, but my guess is almost none.
• Nicolas Winding Refn gets thanked during the credits.
  
• I'm not kidding about the memes. Bearded store clerk guy is at least as amusing as that fucking unicycle frog.
• You'd think a game about busting into nightclubs and shooting people would be less fun this weekend, but nope.
  
• Seriously, this game deserved Skyrim levels of global meme saturation. We, as a culture, blew it.

So, all right, that's one crossed off the list. And it was actually a good one, which has given me a false sense of hope that the rest of this experience won't be miserable. So go ahead and pick another one. Or let the thread die, because I'm really not looking forward to some of these. Or, if you stumble in here a year from now, feel free to necro this thing and really catch me off guard.

 

[cmcki]

SpaceChem?

 

[Handsome Pete]

SpaceChem?

This is a game I got for free and have never played. I have no idea what it's about, how to play it, or indeed even what it looks like.

But if I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone, I wouldn't be letting internet weirdos make these decisions for me. SpaceChem it is.

 

[cmcki]

I don't remember that much about it - it's a puzzle game that I tried and couldn't get the hang of, but some of my friends really liked.

It looked like a bit of a change from some of the stuff on there, and I'm hoping it's actually fun. Apologies in advance if I just sent you to do something obnoxious.

 

[ActualKiwi]

I'm not much of a gamer. Every so often I'll find a game that holds my interest, but I don't make much of a distinction between casual and hardcore (I've devoted roughly equal time to Dark Souls and Neko Atsume). I have one weakness, though:

Cheap games.

Between 80%-off Steam sales and bundles that give you 5-6 games for $10, I've amassed an embarrassingly large Steam library on a tiny budget. 20 years ago, these would have been the games you rented from Blockbuster, played for a couple days, and then never actually bought. Now, though, for the price of a rental, they give you a copy to sit in your library and taunt you forever.

Then I realized something: who better to give game recommendations than a bunch of raging autists? So here's my weirdly diverse list of neglected games. You nice folks will decide which one I have to play for your amusement.

Spoiler: The List

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Anodyne
Batman: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Broken Age (yeah, yeah, I know)
Brutal Legend
Evoland
Fez (I know, I know)
Final Fantasy XIII (please don't pick this one)
Gunpoint
Hack 'n' Slash
Hotline Miami
Lisa
Rayman Origins
Shank
South Park: The Stick of Truth
SpaceChem
The Stanley Parable
To the Moon
Transistor
Uplink
The Walking Dead, season 1
You Have to Win the Game

Will you point me towards a personal favorite of yours, or make me suffer through something I'll probably hate? Will the preponderance of sensitive indie games brainwash me against the noble cause of Ethics? My fate is in your hands.

I see you and raise you:

Spoiler: 73H L157

Alien Swarm
Deathtrap
Hand of Fate
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
10 Second Ninja
1001 Spikes
1954 Alcatraz
AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome
Age of Chivalry
Age of Empires II: HD Edition
Alpha Kimori™ Episode One
Always Sometimes Monsters
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Anodyne
Anomaly 2
Another Perspective
Antichamber
Aura Kingdom
Avadon 2: The Corruption
Awesomenauts
Bad Hotel
Banished
Bastion
Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman: Arkham City GOTY
BattleBlock Theater
Battlefield: Bad Company 2
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Vietnam
BEEP
BioShock Infinite
BIT.TRIP BEAT
BIT.TRIP CORE
BIT.TRIP FATE
BIT.TRIP FLUX
BIT.TRIP Presents... Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien
BIT.TRIP RUNNER
BIT.TRIP VOID
Blackguards
Borderlands 2
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Bound By Flame
Broforce
Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
Brütal Legend
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Call of Juarez Gunslinger
Castle Crashers
Chantelise
Chaos on Deponia
Cities in Motion 2
Closure
CONSORTIUM
Cook, Serve, Delicious!
Costume Quest
Counter-Strike
Counter-Strike: Condition Zero
Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
Counter-Strike: Source
Craft The World
Crea
Crypt of the NecroDancer
Darksiders
Darksiders II
DARK SOULS™ II
Dead Island
Dead Island: Epidemic
Dead Island Riptide
Dear Esther
DeathSpank
DeathSpank: Thongs Of Virtue
Deep Dungeons of Doom
Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten
Defense Grid: The Awakening
Democracy 3
Deponia
Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon
Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut
Dino D-Day
Dishonored
Divinity: Original Sin (Classic)
Don't Starve
Don't Starve Together
Door Kickers
Dota 2
Dragon Nest
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeon Defenders
Dungeon Defenders Eternity
Dungeonland
Dungeon of the Endless
Dungeons & Dragons Online®
Dungeon Siege III
Dungeons of Dredmor
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Dustforce
Enclave
Euro Truck Simulator 2
EVE Online
Evoland
F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin
F.E.A.R. 3
F.E.A.R.: Extraction Point
F.E.A.R.: Perseus Mandate
Far Cry® 3 Blood Dragon
Fight The Dragon
FortressCraft Evolved
Fortune Summoners: Secret of the Elemental Stone
Free to Play
Front Mission Evolved
FTL: Faster Than Light
Full Mojo Rampage
Garry's Mod
Gemini Rue
Goodbye Deponia
Gotham City Impostors: Free To Play
GRID 2
Grim Dawn
Guardians of Middle-earth
Guns of Icarus Online
Hack, Slash, Loot
Half-Life
Half-Life 2: Deathmatch
Halfway
Hammerwatch
Hero Academy
Hero Siege
Hitman: Absolution
Hitman: Sniper Challenge
Incredipede
Insurgency
Iron Brigade
Jack Lumber
Jamestown
Journey of a Roach
Just Cause
Just Cause 2
Knights and Merchants
Left 4 Dead 2
Legend of Grimrock
Legend of Grimrock 2
LEGO® MARVEL Super Heroes
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Complete Saga
Life is Feudal: Your Own
LIMBO
Little Inferno
Loadout
Machinarium
Magical Diary
Magicite
Magicka
Mark of the Ninja
Mass Effect
Mass Effect 2
Memoria
METAL SLUG 3
METAL SLUG X
Metro 2033
Metro: Last Light
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor
Might & Magic: Duel of Champions
Monaco
Mortal Kombat Kollection
Mount & Blade
Mount & Blade: Warband
Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
Natural Selection 2
NEO Scavenger
Never Alone (Kisima Ingitchuna)
Neverwinter
Nosgoth
Offspring Fling!
One Finger Death Punch
One Way Heroics
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
Orcs Must Die!
Orcs Must Die! 2
ORION: Prelude
Osmos
Outlast
Out There Somewhere
Paranautical Activity: Deluxe Atonement Edition
Path of Exile
PAYDAY 2
Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3
Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 4
Pixel Piracy
Planet Explorers
PlanetSide 2
Polarity
Portal 2
Psychonauts
RAGE
Ragnarok Online 2
RaiderZ
Reassembly
Receiver
Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale
Red Faction
Red Faction: Armageddon
Red Faction: Guerrilla Steam Edition
Red Faction II
Retro/Grade
Retro City Rampage™ DX
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
RIFT
Risk of Rain
Road Not Taken
Rogue Legacy
Sacred Citadel
Saints Row 2
Saints Row: The Third
Saints Row IV
Sanctum
Sanctum 2
Savant - Ascent
Scribblenauts Unlimited
Serious Sam 3: BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shadowrun Returns
Shatter
Shovel Knight
Skara - The Blade Remains
Sniper Elite V2
Solar 2
Spaceforce Constellations
Spaceforce Homeworld
Space Pirates and Zombies
Spec Ops: The Line
Spelunky
Spoiler Alert
Stacking
Starbound
StarMade
Star Trek Online
Stealth Bastard Deluxe
Strike Suit Infinity
Strike Suit Zero
Strike Vector
Sunless Sea
Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP
Super Hexagon
Sword of the Stars: The Pit
TERA
Terraria
Tesla Effect
The Baconing
The Bard's Tale
The Binding of Isaac
The Book of Unwritten Tales
The Book of Unwritten Tales 2
The Book of Unwritten Tales: The Critter Chronicles
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
The Forest of Doom
THE KING OF FIGHTERS '98 ULTIMATE MATCH FINAL EDITION
The Last Remnant
The Lord of the Rings: War in the North
The Lord of the Rings Online™
The Night of the Rabbit
The Stanley Parable
Thief
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Torchlight II
Transistor
Trine
Trine 2
Unepic
Unturned
Violett
VVVVVV
WAKFU
Warframe
Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II - Chaos Rising™
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II – Retribution™
Wolfenstein: The New Order
XCOM: Enemy Unknown
X Rebirth
Zen Bound® 2
Zombie Panic Source

 

[Handsome Pete]

I see you and raise you:

Spoiler: 73H L157

Alien Swarm
Deathtrap
Hand of Fate
Teleglitch: Die More Edition
10 Second Ninja
1001 Spikes
1954 Alcatraz
AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! for the Awesome
Age of Chivalry
Age of Empires II: HD Edition
Alpha Kimori™ Episode One
Always Sometimes Monsters
A New Beginning - Final Cut
Anodyne
Anomaly 2
Another Perspective
Antichamber
Aura Kingdom
Avadon 2: The Corruption
Awesomenauts
Bad Hotel
Banished
Bastion
Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman: Arkham City GOTY
BattleBlock Theater
Battlefield: Bad Company 2
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Vietnam
BEEP
BioShock Infinite
BIT.TRIP BEAT
BIT.TRIP CORE
BIT.TRIP FATE
BIT.TRIP FLUX
BIT.TRIP Presents... Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien
BIT.TRIP RUNNER
BIT.TRIP VOID
Blackguards
Borderlands 2
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Bound By Flame
Broforce
Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
Brütal Legend
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Call of Juarez Gunslinger
Castle Crashers
Chantelise
Chaos on Deponia
Cities in Motion 2
Closure
CONSORTIUM
Cook, Serve, Delicious!
Costume Quest
Counter-Strike
Counter-Strike: Condition Zero
Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
Counter-Strike: Source
Craft The World
Crea
Crypt of the NecroDancer
Darksiders
Darksiders II
DARK SOULS™ II
Dead Island
Dead Island: Epidemic
Dead Island Riptide
Dear Esther
DeathSpank
DeathSpank: Thongs Of Virtue
Deep Dungeons of Doom
Defender's Quest: Valley of the Forgotten
Defense Grid: The Awakening
Democracy 3
Deponia
Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon
Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition
Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Director's Cut
Dino D-Day
Dishonored
Divinity: Original Sin (Classic)
Don't Starve
Don't Starve Together
Door Kickers
Dota 2
Dragon Nest
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeon Defenders
Dungeon Defenders Eternity
Dungeonland
Dungeon of the Endless
Dungeons & Dragons Online®
Dungeon Siege III
Dungeons of Dredmor
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Dustforce
Enclave
Euro Truck Simulator 2
EVE Online
Evoland
F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin
F.E.A.R. 3
F.E.A.R.: Extraction Point
F.E.A.R.: Perseus Mandate
Far Cry® 3 Blood Dragon
Fight The Dragon
FortressCraft Evolved
Fortune Summoners: Secret of the Elemental Stone
Free to Play
Front Mission Evolved
FTL: Faster Than Light
Full Mojo Rampage
Garry's Mod
Gemini Rue
Goodbye Deponia
Gotham City Impostors: Free To Play
GRID 2
Grim Dawn
Guardians of Middle-earth
Guns of Icarus Online
Hack, Slash, Loot
Half-Life
Half-Life 2: Deathmatch
Halfway
Hammerwatch
Hero Academy
Hero Siege
Hitman: Absolution
Hitman: Sniper Challenge
Incredipede
Insurgency
Iron Brigade
Jack Lumber
Jamestown
Journey of a Roach
Just Cause
Just Cause 2
Knights and Merchants
Left 4 Dead 2
Legend of Grimrock
Legend of Grimrock 2
LEGO® MARVEL Super Heroes
LEGO® Star Wars™: The Complete Saga
Life is Feudal: Your Own
LIMBO
Little Inferno
Loadout
Machinarium
Magical Diary
Magicite
Magicka
Mark of the Ninja
Mass Effect
Mass Effect 2
Memoria
METAL SLUG 3
METAL SLUG X
Metro 2033
Metro: Last Light
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor
Might & Magic: Duel of Champions
Monaco
Mortal Kombat Kollection
Mount & Blade
Mount & Blade: Warband
Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
Natural Selection 2
NEO Scavenger
Never Alone (Kisima Ingitchuna)
Neverwinter
Nosgoth
Offspring Fling!
One Finger Death Punch
One Way Heroics
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode One
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode Two
Orcs Must Die!
Orcs Must Die! 2
ORION: Prelude
Osmos
Outlast
Out There Somewhere
Paranautical Activity: Deluxe Atonement Edition
Path of Exile
PAYDAY 2
Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 3
Penny Arcade's On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 4
Pixel Piracy
Planet Explorers
PlanetSide 2
Polarity
Portal 2
Psychonauts
RAGE
Ragnarok Online 2
RaiderZ
Reassembly
Receiver
Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale
Red Faction
Red Faction: Armageddon
Red Faction: Guerrilla Steam Edition
Red Faction II
Retro/Grade
Retro City Rampage™ DX
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
RIFT
Risk of Rain
Road Not Taken
Rogue Legacy
Sacred Citadel
Saints Row 2
Saints Row: The Third
Saints Row IV
Sanctum
Sanctum 2
Savant - Ascent
Scribblenauts Unlimited
Serious Sam 3: BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shadowrun Returns
Shatter
Shovel Knight
Skara - The Blade Remains
Sniper Elite V2
Solar 2
Spaceforce Constellations
Spaceforce Homeworld
Space Pirates and Zombies
Spec Ops: The Line
Spelunky
Spoiler Alert
Stacking
Starbound
StarMade
Star Trek Online
Stealth Bastard Deluxe
Strike Suit Infinity
Strike Suit Zero
Strike Vector
Sunless Sea
Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery EP
Super Hexagon
Sword of the Stars: The Pit
TERA
Terraria
Tesla Effect
The Baconing
The Bard's Tale
The Binding of Isaac
The Book of Unwritten Tales
The Book of Unwritten Tales 2
The Book of Unwritten Tales: The Critter Chronicles
The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
The Forest of Doom
THE KING OF FIGHTERS '98 ULTIMATE MATCH FINAL EDITION
The Last Remnant
The Lord of the Rings: War in the North
The Lord of the Rings Online™
The Night of the Rabbit
The Stanley Parable
Thief
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Torchlight II
Transistor
Trine
Trine 2
Unepic
Unturned
Violett
VVVVVV
WAKFU
Warframe
Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II - Chaos Rising™
Warhammer® 40,000™: Dawn of War® II – Retribution™
Wolfenstein: The New Order
XCOM: Enemy Unknown
X Rebirth
Zen Bound® 2
Zombie Panic Source

Damn, son. I only included the games I've barely played/not played (and even then, only the ones currently installed), but if that's what you did too... well then you've got a long road ahead of you.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Damn, son. I only included the games I've barely played/not played (and even then, only the ones currently installed), but if that's what you did too... well then you've got a long road ahead of you.

Some of those I've played..most of them not much or not at all though. And according to http://steamleft.com/ it would take me..
3685 continuous hours or 153 days,13 hours,51 minutes of gameplay to complete the completable games.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Play Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs

 

[Strelok]

Stanley Parable was pretty good for what it set out to be. You'd be cheating yourself if you never play it.

However, here you shouldn't play it, because a narrative based choose your own adventure game that relies heavily on humor would fall flat on it's face in a text based LP, so instead I'll reccomend hacking simulator Uplink.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Play Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs

so instead I'll reccomend hacking simulator Uplink.

Well shit, we've got a queue going. Since the plan was to eventually get through the whole list, I guess I'll just play them in the order suggested.

Right after I'm done bashing my head against SpaceChem.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Another double post; still don't care. Here's SpaceChem, as suggested by @cmcki.

Why I originally bought it:
It was part of a Humble Bundle that included Bit.Trip Beat and World of Goo. I wanted those two games, and this one came along for the ride.

Why I stopped playing it:
I never played it. I rationalized this by telling myself it was basically free.

How things went this time:
There are two kinds of autism. We're all familiar with the Lego-stacking, toy-collecting autism that is this site's raison d'être. But there's also the hard autism. The mentat autism. SpaceChem is a game by and for that second kind of autist. When I started playing, I was relieved to learn that the game required no knowledge of chemistry, and then intimidated to learn that it used chemistry as an elaborate metaphor for programming. Despite being terrible at both, I found myself gradually getting the hang of the game's quirks - which wasn't necessarily a good thing. Once I started thinking in SpaceChem's language of loops and bonds, the levels stopped feeling like puzzles to be solved and became mere tasks to be completed. I could look at a board, see what needed to be done, and then go through the motions of plugging in the necessary commands. Sometimes it took a few tries, but according to the histograms at the end of each level I was (very) slightly above-average.

Which is all a roundabout way of saying I got bored and didn't finish it. Maybe things get interesting again in the late game, and I'll probably find out for myself someday, but right now I need a break. That said, it's sparked my interest in other programming-puzzle games, and at some point (separate from this project) I want to check out a few more. I've heard good things about Human Resource Machine.

Has DSP played it:
lol no

Stray Thoughts:

• The game was made by a company called Zachtronics, and indeed the lead designer was a dude named Zach. He had a small staff, but this game really does feel like a quintessential one-man passion project.
• I really liked the contrast between the semi-cartoony exteriors and the stark, ultra-minimalist puzzle screens. Even though the game wasn't really about chemistry, it made for an effective visual metaphor for just how alien everything seems on the atomic scale.
• I'm normally a big fan of seamless gameplay-story integration (Bastion is one of my favorite games for that very reason), but SpaceChem charmed me by doing the exact opposite: keeping the gameplay and the story completely segregated, and making the story completely optional. Why are we going to this new planet? Who the hell knows, but I'll bet we'll have to solve a series of programming puzzles once we get there!
• This music, for whatever reason, reminded me of an MST3K movie called "Quest of the Delta Knights." These days it's mostly remembered as the episode where Mike and Pearl switch places and she has to sit in the theater. I imagine there's a fair amount of overlap between the SpaceChem and MST3K audiences, so I can't be the first to notice this. Unless they prefer the Joel episodes.
• There aren't that many LPs of this game on YouTube, but the ones that exist are both autistic as fuck and chilling in their merciless efficiency.

I'm gonna call this one a failure because I didn't actually beat it. The goal of this thread, however, was to get me out of my comfort zone, and that definitely happened. I had virtually no experience with programming games prior to this, but now I'm curious to explore the genre further, if only to find one that feels like a better "fit" for me.

Next up - Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. I like pigs, so hopefully it won't bum me out too much.

 

[ActualKiwi]

Final Fantasy XIII to the list. Simply because you said not to pick it.

Next up - Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. I like pigs, so hopefully it won't bum me out too much.

You poor, poor thing..

 

[Azazel]

I really really liked Transistor. It's made by the same folks that made Bastion so you should like it. I think it may have the best soundtrack of any videogames ever.

So yea, play transistor and thank me later.

 

[Handsome Pete]

As per @Randall Fragg's instructions, here's Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. Late as hell, but technically finished!

Why I originally bought it:
I liked the first one.

Why I stopped playing it:
Playing at night was too spooky, but playing in the daytime made me feel like a pussy.

How things went this time:
I'm okay with being a pussy. The sun sets late this time of year anyway. So with that out of the way, let's talk about horror games in general. Pussy or not, I love horror games, but even the good ones tend to follow a pattern. They're front-loaded with creepy atmosphere, both to set the tone and to distract from the fact that the second half of the game is inevitably an extended sewer/cave level (Technically a factory level in this one, but you could definitely recycle a lot of those assets for a sewer level). There's also the fact that, if you ignore the atmosphere, there are very few points in the game when you're actually in danger. I'm not complaining; if you make a horror game too "difficult" in the conventional sense, it stops being scary. The focus shifts to progressing in the game, and the player stops being scared and starts being annoyed. A Machine for Pigs (and The Dark Descent) may keep the puzzles and mechanics simple, but that just means the only thing stopping you from progressing is your own fear. Not the worst gimmick to base a game around.

This one took me a while, and I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about why: my cat gnawed through the power cord of my speakers, and I lost a couple days trying to replace them and cat-proof my computer. My cat ended up being an integral part of my Amnesia experience, actually. It's hard to be scared when you've got a kitty sleeping on your desk. Then again, it's very easy to be scared when you're hiding from a pigman and the cat runs into the hallway and starts meowing at nothing.

Has DSP played it?
No, but he ragequit the first one. Turns out he's too dumb to scare. He's too dumb to even startle.

Stray Thoughts:

• This game was published by Frictional, but it was developed by The Chinese Room, a studio infamous for making detailed digital environments where nothing much happens and calling them "games" because they tossed in a couple audio logs. Turns out if you make the environment just a tad more linear, that approach can be scary as fuck.
• I don't miss the oil and tinderboxes from the first game. Making light a limited resource is a fine idea in theory, but it also meant the game gave you copious well-lit areas so you could save your oil for when you actually needed it. A Machine for Pigs makes good use of the unlimited lantern; with nothing to conserve, the developers were free to keep almost every area dark.
• And just to contradict myself on the whole resource-management issue: I miss the sanity meter. Without it, you're free to hide in a dark corner for as long as you'd like. Having a resource that gradually drained in the dark gave the first game a sense of urgency; you couldn't sit around weighing your options for too long, and you usually ended up doing something brave/stupid.
• I got a BioShock Infinite vibe from parts of this game, especially the theme of using before-its-time technology to prevent future disasters. Oh, and the protagonist dies at the end. Two of the big complaints about Infinite were that the action parts didn't go well with the story, and that it dropped the horror elements of the original BioShock. Welp, here you go.
  
• So, ummm, did one of the journals say the factory's engines were powered by pig farts? It definitely said that.

In conclusion, I want this in my house:

Spoiler: Hang it right over the bed

Now to find out just what the hell Uplink is.

 

[Handsome Pete]

Two of these in a row. Whatever. Uplink, as requested by @Strelok. Sorry in advance, man.

​

Why I originally bought it:
It was part of that same bundle that had SpaceChem in it.

Why I stopped playing it:
This is another one I never played.

How things went this time:
Dude, I tried. Every part of this game seemed designed to be as annoying as possible in ways specific to my computer. At my monitor's actual resolution (which isn't even that spectacular!), the text was distractingly tiny. At a lower resolution, everything at the top and bottom of the screen was cut off - and everything in this game happens at the top or bottom of the screen. Running it in a window at a lower resolution brought me right back to the tiny-text problem. Of course, you didn't come here to read about minor technical issues, nor did you come here to hear me whine about my crappy eyes. (Actually, chances are you didn't come here at all, based on this thread's overall activity level.)

But even powering through the above issues, I just couldn't get into this one. If real hacking is just running a series of programs and waltzing right into another computer, then I guess I've found a new career. Actually, those programs were a big part of why I didn't like this one. Whenever you encountered a mission that gave you trouble, the solution was always "buy an upgrade." The hacking was just window-dressing; this was yet another game where you buy periodic upgrades to make your numbers go up. We have Cookie Clicker for that.

I had no idea this game was made in 2001 until I started writing this, but it makes sense. This is cyberpunk hacking, complete with a storyline about an evil corporation doing nefarious internet things. I just wrote off any dated-looking elements as deliberate retro weirdness. Presenting the whole game as a computer interface was an unusual choice for 2001, but it seems almost prescient when you realize how many modern indie titles use that gimmick (or something like it). I have no idea if Uplink had any influence on that trend, but apparently it has (or had) a very dedicated fanbase, so it's not unthinkable.

Has DSP played it?
Haha fuck no.

Stray Thoughts:

• Speaking of technical issues, I could go on. For example, all the information about the system you're hacking is displayed in the upper-left, but the meter that shows how long you have until you're caught is in the lower-right. And it's tiny. Maybe there's a way to fix this, but Uplink was not forthcoming.
• There are apparently many, many mods for this game, which may have solved all my problems but which I did not explore at all.
• The computers in this game feel like they were designed by a guy who has a lot of big ideas about how operating systems should work.
• I suppose a game wouldn't be allowed to actually teach you hacking, for the same reason the Mythbusters had to build all their really dangerous shit off-camera.
• I named my hacker "Fat Poppa Jenk." Naming screens are invitations to stupidity.

I really, really wanted to like this one, and I'd still be interested in a game that provides a more true-to-life simulation of hacking. If you're worried about security or whatever, make it a retro game about hacking in the 80s. Some gamedev nerd must be autistic enough to do it! What's the SpaceChem guy up to? (As it turns out, something very similar.)

And now, we head to the opposite extreme for Final Fantasy XIII. I suspect I'll have a lot to say about this one.

 

[Lipitor]

The batman game is an obvious choice... It's a 9/10 polished triple A experience... No surprises. Just what you were looking for. It's really well done and what you expect out of a batman game. It's not super easy, but an average gamer should be able to beat it without too much of a struggle.

The Stanley Parable. This game is only like 1.5 hours, and is based on a pretty novel concept. It's short and it's quality while it lasts, so why not knock this one out of the way.

The southpark game. The game itself is mechanically very boring, but it feels like you're watching a very good episode of south park while playing it, so it's one of those games that tricks you into enjoying it. You can tell Matt and Trey took production of this game seriously and made sure their contribution to it didn't sucks. So if you like South Park it's worth it, if you want a rewarding RPG experience, too bad.

 

[Handsome Pete]

batman
-snip-
The Stanley Parable.
-snip-
South Park

Well shit, we've officially got a backlog. Looks like I've got some more double-posting in my future.