Peter Coffin "trolls" who can't accept that he has sex and they don't -

[Le Bateleur]

Anyone who has taken even a passing interest in the adventures of Peter Coffin - a "comedian" with a propensity for both literally and figuratively kicking himself in the balls - will be familiar with the controversy surrounding his wife, Ashleigh.

Is she an expensive sex doll that Peter poses to look like a real woman? Is she an actress - or two actresses playing one part? Is she an oblivious acquaintance of Peter's that he pretends is his wife online? Is she an illegal immigrant scamming Peter for a green card?

Peter is undoubtedly a lolcow, albeit one who has likely been milked dry for the time being. Our thread on him hit 74 pages but petered out last month. A lot of the speculation about Peter's wife was done knowingly, to provoke Peter. Not everyone was trolling, however. A subset of Peter's followers appear so desperate to deny the fact that a lolcow is having sex with an attractive young woman while they are not, and so continue to obsess about the Coffins in threads like this one on /cow/. It's like the wave of buttrumpled denialism that swept Disco once it was revealed Chris had had sex, only somehow much sadder.

The latest straw being grasped at is that Peter's wife is real, and he's having sex with her, but the /cow/boys can still feel superior because she's actually a man

Post crazy Coffin conspiracies, and obsessive CSI:Autism photo enhancements that "prove" Ashlaay is a doll.

 

[Sanae Kochiya]

People still care about Coffin? I remember him back when I was lurking and the Farms were convinced he was trying to pass off a real doll as his wife, and then when it turned out he had an actual wife and said he got all of his trolls the Farms responded with a collective "meh" and lost interest.

That being said, yeah, the thread looks pretty boring. Some activity, yeah, but it's just mainly people saying that Coffin's an idiot and nothing more beyond that. Don't see a lot of paranoia regarding his wife at all. Maybe it's because I just skimmed it, but I just don't see anything.

 

[Stress Sigh]

I think it's a mix of 4 and 6

 

[EI 903]

The entirety of /cow/.

 

[CatParty]

Cultural virgin

 

[cumrobbery]

She's not a doll but actually an extraterrestrial

 

[Frank Rizzo]

I figured people stopped caring about this whole "Is she a sex doll or a real woman" thing months ago.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm pretty sure they're both mentally fucked up beyond all recognition, but just haven't been very interesting since the mystery is gone. Since the video with Ashleigh calling their baby a stupid fucker and (allegedly) slapping it around, there hasn't been much of note.

 

[MMX]

I'm pretty sure they're both mentally fucked up beyond all recognition, but just haven't been very interesting since the mystery is gone. Since the video with Ashleigh calling their baby a stupid fucker and (allegedly) slapping it around, there hasn't been much of note.

The kid is the only reason I take any interest any more, I was kind of hoping there would be some sort of intervention since neither of them seem fit parents.

 

[autism420]

She's a paid actor, Peter is still a virgin.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

I remember that thread. It was mostly a lot of a-logging and sperging over pictures of realdolls. It made me wonder if Coffin was actively trolling us. That might be one of the few times where the cow got the better of the farms.
But at the same time, I doubt the two of them have a healthy relationship. She's likely got some deeper problems, the kind below the skin. She's also probably about as intelligent as a fruit basket.
I've also wondered if maybe she's a green card wife who already had a kid when he "married" her.
Either way, there's definitely something wrong there. This cow is not done producing milk. It's only a matter of time before he does something else.

 

[KingGeedorah]

Toilet nigga was the MVP of this whole saga.

 

[Gangster Talk]

The historical context needed for this is that Coffin had been caught going to elaborate lengths to fake a girlfriend once before and his wife's web presence was very strange and like a 13 year old boy's idea of how an attractive woman would act. With Peter's history, it's not hard to imagine how conspiracy theories would evolve when his wife is posting shit like "I have such huge awesome boobs. My beautiful big dick husband loves my giant boobs."

The reality that this is probably just an adult woman with the mental development of a 13 year old is funny enough, it's sort of unfortunate this got convoluted into some kind of Infowars investigation because there's enough potential without the insane speculation.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Ashleigh was just a retarded person who was going on her mid-20s virginity. She FINALLY meets her match but turns out to be a guy who had lied about another girl in the past. Thus, his spectators just couldn't accept that he actually found a wife.

I was a skeptic too, until the video of both of them proved she was real for me.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Ashley is a reptilian shape-shifter that works for the illuminati. She married Coffin in order to put her grand plan into motion. She was the mastermind behind one of the greatest travesties of our time: SHE'S the one who changed Sonic's arms.

 

[Hodor]

She's not a doll but actually an extraterrestrial

Explains why Toilet Nigga looks like an Ayyy LMAO joke.

 

[Lola]

Why is sex so hard to believe when it comes to lolcows

 

[EI 903]

Why is sex so hard to believe when it comes to lolcows

Because virgins with rage hate the idea of losing to lolcows in any field. Coffin, Chris, and ADF have all had sex lives superior to that of many people on the internet, and the jealousy burns bright.

 

[CatParty]

Because virgins with rage hate the idea of losing to lolcows in any field. Coffin, Chris, and ADF have all had sex lives superior to that of many people on the internet, and the jealousy burns bright.

adf had ginger root shoved up his ass.

your move, trolls.

 

[AnOminous]

adf had ginger root shoved up his ass.

your move, trolls.

ADF failed to have ginger shoved up his ass. He instead got White Castle rammed down his throat.