Megathread Phil buying edgy shit megathread - Your tax dollar at work

UselessRubberKeyboard

Mergin' n' spergin'
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Phil really gets off on thinking he has mortal enemies. Why would anyone want to kill him? Considering his health practices, he'd probably decay more slowly as a corpse.
If he has enemies, he means something. Without enemies, he's just a fat re.tard with no friends and no future. Squealing about being threatened is the only way he gets any attention nowadays.

He still hasn't clicked that he's rapidly aging, and people are less sympathetic to middle-aged filthy hobos squealing about being threatened than they are 'at risk' LGBT kids.
 

ADN_VIII

I need more coffee
kiwifarms.net
Phil really gets off on thinking he has mortal enemies. Why would anyone want to kill him? Considering his health practices, he'd probably decay more slowly as a corpse.
Having enemies means you've, theoretically, done something to engender hate in someone else.

Unfortunately for spud he doesn't provoke hate, he provokes pity and contempt.
 

Doggo

Gone.
kiwifarms.net
I thought this was going to be about DSP and was excited for him to have a tacticlol mall ninja phase and now I’m sad.
Nah, I reckon Phil is better. At least DSP kinda sorta maybe does something with his day sometimes. Even if it is in absolutely, positively no way useful or productive whatsoever. What does Phil actually do day to day? (Seriously, I'm asking. What does he do day to day?)
 

Mr Foster

Dosh, grab it while you can lads!
kiwifarms.net
Nah, I reckon Phil is better. At least DSP kinda sorta maybe does something with his day sometimes. Even if it is in absolutely, positively no way useful or productive whatsoever. What does Phil actually do day to day? (Seriously, I'm asking. What does he do day to day?)
Roleplay being a super soldier, until he gets over excited and shits his pants?
 

The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I heard if you commit any crime wearing a bandanna over your face in Arizona, it becomes a felony. Must've been a relic of the 19th century.

Maybe one day Phil will start cosplaying as a stereotypical western villain.
Actually, a lot of modern criminals still wear bandanas while committing crimes, especially certain black and Mexican gangs. But you could be right about it being a holdover from the old west days.
 

Coldgrip

Dragon Kick your ass into the Milky Way.
kiwifarms.net
Phil really gets off on thinking he has mortal enemies. Why would anyone want to kill him? Considering his health practices, he'd probably decay more slowly as a corpse.
Because he likes to show off his toys and, while nearly all of them are cheap garbage, there's always somebody out there that'd happily pull a stab-and-grab on Phil for his phone or his shoddy tacticool gear.
 

The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Because he likes to show off his toys and, while nearly all of them are cheap garbage, there's always somebody out there that'd happily pull a stab-and-grab on Phil for his phone or his shoddy tacticool gear.
Yeah, but Phil would actually have to go outside for that to ever be a possibility. And it's his fear of that very kind of thing happening (and because he's a lazy fuck) that keeps him from rarely leaving his shitty apartment.
 

AnOminous

do you see what happens
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
The jumbo crayola markers really set the picture off.
Phil is such a blatant tard that if you can even see his eyes in a picture of him dressed up in his sped gear, you can tell there's something missing in his head. And he's now shown you don't even actually need to see him at all. Just looking at a collection of his tard accessories lets you know that only a true tard would own any of this.
 

The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cross post from random updates
The Arsenal of Autism
View attachment 768530
Wow. Airsoft guns. And not even good airsoft guns, but the cheap-ass $40 airsoft guns you get at Big 5 and Amazon. So fucking scary.

And thanks for proving your friend owns that SCCY and not you, Phil. Not that any of us actually believed that you owned it. What a pathetic child.
 
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