Phil could be in Puerto Rico for $205 -

[Tookie]

Why doesn't Phil go to Puerto Rico? He clearly yearns to be among his own kind and would be treated much better there than in a den of cishet white menz like the Bay Area. I found Phil a flight to San Juan for only $205, easily within his budget given how much he spends on tattoos. Probably not much more than his little Greyhound trips. He can buy the tickets in person at the ticket counter at the airport using cash so lack of a credit card isn't a problem. Plus he doesn't need a passport to go there. He would prove all of us seriously wrong about his latinxness if he were to go to San Juan and show us how well he fits in there.

 

[Clown Doll]

He won't go because he's a coward that fears that 'dem dirty darkies will shank his cracker ass.

 

[Totenkopf]

Because he has no original thoughts. But now that you've presented this idea to him, maybe he'll do it!

Phil, there is cell phone service and wi-fi in Puerto Rico! Plus it doesn't get cold in the winter! What could go wrong?

 

[Vitriol]

Well for starters, being an anglo-italian white American, he doesn't speak spainish.

He also probably doesn't know- phil's research skills are sub par- see phil's comments on race/gender/politics/literallyanything.

 

[Spooky_Scary]

He won't go for the same reason Pixyteri never went to Japan. Deep down they both know they wouldn't fit in, and its much easier to post pics and status updates about how great Japan/Puerto Rico is and about how Kawaii Japanese/Translatinx they are than to face the music that their transethnic identity is a coping mechanism for some greater dissatisfaction with themselves.

 

[BT 075]

If he wanted to be "among his own kind" he'd have himself voluntarily committed. In a group of people claiming to be Jesus or Napoleon, surely a chubby pale little Italian-American claiming to be a Latina woman-of-color won't stand out.

 

[OfflineCyberBully]

He won't go for the same reason Pixyteri never went to Japan. Deep down they both know they wouldn't fit in, and its much easier to post pics and status updates about how great Japan/Puerto Rico is and about how Kawaii Japanese/Translatinx they are than to face the music that their transethnic identity is a coping mechanism for some greater dissatisfaction with themselves.

And he'd also have to confront the truth that his idealization of whatever ethnicity he's obsessed with at any particular moment is, in fact, bullshit. His distorted worldview doesn't allow for the evils of Reality - e.g., that every ethnic group/nation/gender/whatever he's got a stiffy for at the moment has its positives and negatives. He'd much rather live in his fantasy world where every Latinx is a perfect specimen of humanity, superior in every way to the Evol White Males that help pay for his upkeep oppress him.

 

[Tony Fuckin Abbott]

Even if he wanted to go, he can't save $205

 

[Taily Puff]

I've got five bucks kicking around. I'll chip in to a collection to send Phil to Puerto Rico as long as someone promises a link to the inevitable news story about him being beaten to death.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

Q: can you redeem your continental autisbux in the Puerto Rican welfare system?

It'd be hilarious if Phil actually got there, realized Puelto Lico is a shithole and then he couldn't get out.

 

[sugoi-chan]

Q: can you redeem your continental autisbux in the Puerto Rican welfare system?

You can get SSDI in Puerto Rico since it's part of the US, yeah.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Looking forward to seeing him try to get his bondage gear through security, and the accompanying white menz with rubber gloves.

 

[Sczylak Madgar]

Paging our resident Puerto Rican spic @Gaol

 

[drtoboggan]

7/4/97 never happened just like him being a translatex in Puerto Rico will never happen.

 

[Count groudon]

He would make the perfect drug mule for a puerto Rican cartel. The lumps of caked shit in his unwashed ass would hide the smell and discourage any officers from doing an anal cavity search.

 

[Bassomatic]

I've got five bucks kicking around. I'll chip in to a collection to send Phil to Puerto Rico as long as someone promises a link to the inevitable news story about him being beaten to death.

I think we should raise the cash, and offer it to him, I would love to see the shit storm when there is the cash to get him a ticket and he has to cook up a reason why he won't go.

I'm down for some cash, let's be honest it'll all come back to our wallets.

 

[Weeping With Pity]

I think we should raise the cash, and offer it to him, I would love to see the shit storm when there is the cash to get him a ticket and he has to cook up a reason why he won't go.

I'm down for some cash, let's be honest it'll all come back to our wallets.

Does anyone less lazy than I am know if he could still collect Social Security in Puerto Rico?

 

[Bassomatic]

Yes, see above. Being a protectorate it's part of the US.

 

[Maxwell]

I don't think Phil would ever go through with it. He's more likely to buy a $205 tattoo of Puerto Rico than actually go to Puerto Rico.

 

[Mogambo]

I'm sure Phil would rationalize it all away with some racist stereotype like 'TRUE AND HONEST Translatinx are all poor so they can't take planez' or some such crap.