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Careercow Phil ElmoreSelf Defense Guru

Discussion in 'Lolcows' started by Pepsi-Cola, Apr 1, 2016.

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  1. [​IMG]


    Phil Elmore is a fat and old Careercow who spends his time writing edgy articles about libertarianism and facist liberals online. He also claims to be a self defense guru, his version of self defense is carrying around ridiculous weaponry such as katanas and intricate knives to defend against would-be attackers, which for some reason, are always either black, liberal or homeless in his mind. Or all three. He mostly puts articles on his website, "The Martialist", and on a conservative news website WND. His articles are pretty eccentric, like one where he rants about furries, transsexuals and bronies, and like a dozen different ones where he bitches about how Liberals are oppressing white men and that whites should arm themselves against "liberal facism". He is a renowned Internet Tough guy, often insulting random people on Twitter and through his articles.

    He's often mocked on Internet forums for his obvious superiority complex, lack of self awareness, and "everything I do I'm doing right" mentality.

    [​IMG]

    Phil has also wrote books in the past, one, called "Street Sword", is a painfully bad self defense book about how swords, such as Katanas, are completely effective modern day self-defense weapons. Phil, in his odd delusional state, thinks it's ok to carry a unconcealed sword around in public, and details how to do it in said book.
    [​IMG]

    Phil also has a presence on Twitter, where, as you would guess, he sits around complaining about black people and Liberals.




    http://www.wnd.com/author/pelmore/ (WND account)
    http://www.caverns-and-creatures.com/blog/2015/9/16/who-the-fuck-is-phil-elmore (blog post exposing him)
    https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Phil_Elmore (his ED page)
    http://www.philelmore.com/ (his website)
    http://www.themartialist.com/ (his other website)
     
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    Pepsi-Cola

    Pepsi-Cola Fuck Cumrobbery!

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  2. That cover of Street Sword is the stuff of legend, but I had no idea Phil Elmore had an active presence beyond that. I thought he had just faded into bargain-bin obscurity -- well, maybe he did, and we're the only ones who notice. That's usually how it goes.
     
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    VLAD

    VLAD I may be but small, but I will die a colossus.
    True & Honest Fan

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  3. I don't think this man needs self defense to protect his virginity.
     
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    bearycool

    bearycool The Movie Night Queen
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  4. I've seen that picture dozens of times posted as a joke, it's real though? That's so much more funny and tragic.

    Like any one it seems anymore online, http://themartialist.net/legal-fund/ begging for money in this case because apparently people try to sue him for being an idiot.

    With out pointing out the clear insanity of strolling around with a sword, even in places were you can and it's not looked at oddly openly carry a fire arm. He's really set from peeking at some of his reviews, if he likes it it's good mind set. But a lot of the stuff he looks at is of quality.
     
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    Bassomatic

    True & Honest Fan

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  5. LOL.

    Real talk time.

    The only time an edged weapon of any kind comes into play in self-defense time is when it's hidden & brought out in surprise on an unaware opponent. If you target has even a lengthy stick, you're fucked. They'll pop your hand/arm, making you drop it, then beat the bright blue fuck out of you. If they have a firearm of any kind, they'll drill your ass before you get in ten feet of them.

    Walking around with a long blade like a katana or broadsword is idiotic at best, or suicidal at worst. You'd have MUCH better luck with a box-cutter tucked in your pants pocket.
     
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    The Knife's Husbando

    The Knife's Husbando Combat pragmatist

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  6. What is it with guys like this and swords? Is it some messed up chivalry thing? It seems that every "expert" in this kind of thing with no formal training is a sword fetishist.
     
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    Fenwick

    Fenwick I have no idea what I'm doing.......

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    Tempest

    Tempest Voci Dal Nulla
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  7. As you said, he seems to act like he's some kind of martial artist/self defense god or something, like he's the second coming of Bruce Lee. Not only does he act like this, but he legitimately thinks this.
     
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    Pepsi-Cola

    Pepsi-Cola Fuck Cumrobbery!

    kiwifarms.net
  8. Seanbaby mocked him at one point (see #2, self-defense with a pocket flashlight)

    Assuming it wasn't someone else with the same name, glasses and adipose, he wrote an article on Return of Kings with (admittedly legitimate) criticisms of Cracked.com, including a vague poke at Seanbaby.

     
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    OtterParty

    OtterParty I shall crush your skull like a clam on my tummy
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  9. This thread blew my mind. I've seen that Street Swords pic in /b/ cringe threads but I never knew it was real.
     
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    Ruin

    Ruin Mercenary Slut
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  10. I was reading on him and a certain incident popped up, that was referenced and made fun of by internet commentators

    upload_2016-4-1_19-15-44.png
    this is how it starts
    upload_2016-4-1_19-16-52.png

    not a fan of panhandlers

    upload_2016-4-1_19-17-38.png

    really not a fan of panhandlers

    upload_2016-4-1_19-19-17.png

    strike first always

    upload_2016-4-1_19-21-34.png

    Dog carcass in alley this morning. Tire tread on burst stomach. The city is afraid of me. I have seen it's true face.

    upload_2016-4-1_19-25-8.png

    the guy didn't threaten him keep in mind

    upload_2016-4-1_19-29-0.png

    I get the feeling he's never worked community outreach

    upload_2016-4-1_19-30-54.png

    panhandlers are a threat never, never forget

    full article:
    http://themartialist.net/pointcounterpoint-2/
     
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    Tempest

    Tempest Voci Dal Nulla
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  11. Well, his book is certainly well-received on Amazon, at least.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
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    Qi Meng Dealer

    Qi Meng Dealer No one's idea of a hot date

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  12. It's compensation for having a tiny penis. They think swords are literally the greatest weapon ever, and yet most don't have the skill or willingness to learn to properly use one
     
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    Legatus Lanius

    Legatus Lanius The Monster of the East
    True & Honest Fan

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  13. This has the potential to be a legendary thread, so I've put a lot of thought into this because it might be the OP of a 100-pager:

    This gentleman and Davis Aurini are both self loathing homosexuals who like to get gangbanged by black guys.
     
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    *Asterisk*

    *Asterisk* Five-Percenter
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  14. When I write, I use italics. That means I'm angry.
     
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    VLAD

    VLAD I may be but small, but I will die a colossus.
    True & Honest Fan

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  15. So, when can we expect him and Daddy Derek to team up and make the ultimate self defense video?
     
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    Jewelsmakerguy

    Jewelsmakerguy (Cheesy 80s music intensifies)

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  16. Tard rage
     
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    bearycool

    bearycool The Movie Night Queen
    True & Honest Fan

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  17. Derek v Elmore: Dawn of Autism would be much better
     
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    Legatus Lanius

    Legatus Lanius The Monster of the East
    True & Honest Fan

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  18. I am pretty sure you can have a community watch thread on these guys. I just wish I knew more of them.





     
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    Billy_Sama

    Billy_Sama ♂Love and Muscle in Heaven♂

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    I_Am_Honor_Roll

    I_Am_Honor_Roll Beware the Dunning-Kruger effect.
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