Phil should transition to IRL streaming -

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GuatamaBay

GoutanamoBay
kiwifarms.net
I should preface this by saying that there's no way DSP would ever do this; he's already made it clear that he is too scared for his "families" safety to put himself out in the open like that. Not to mention the fact that he's way to lazy to get off his ass and actually do any IRL content. Despite all this,, I can't help but imagine that he would make a good deal more money then he does now if he started doing IRL streams and took donations to do embarrassing shit and possibly get harassed by autistic detractors who actually show up and goof on him. I'd never donate to Phil normally, I haven't even sat in on one of his live streams before, but if a couple dollars in tips meant he'd go around a mall with a sign that says, "I'm the guy that jacked off on Twitch" ,or something similar, well shit, I might cough up a couple bucks. At least then he would be leveraging his lolcow status to make legitimately entertaining content and not just depressing snoozefest gameplay bookended by begging sessions. Anyone else think Dave could have a future as a IRL streamer?
 
I wonder if he's as bad at everything IRL as he is at video games. watching a few of his cooking videos points towards yes. I would love to watch a livestream of him trying to drive, ride a bike, or even cross the street without dying. I can actually see him trying this if he gets desperate enough for money, it's a very basic bitch thing to do. especially if he gets really depressed from his inevitable downgrade in life when the river of ♿ cash stops flowing, depression tends to make you not care about life anymore which makes you less of a pussy. look back at how much other exceptional shit he's tried, it's not that unlikely.
Phil doesn't have the personality nor the likeability to be a IRL streamer. Outside of his "job" he is a very boring mundane manchild.
he doesn't have the personality nor the likeability to be uploading videos of himself to the internet at all, but that doesn't stop him.
 

The Last Stand

Black History Month, represent!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
To DSP, that'd be basically his pre-streams minus the gameplay. Even so, he'd find a way to screw it up.
 

PreferredPenne

Easy to eat
kiwifarms.net
I wonder if he's as bad at everything IRL as he is at video games. watching a few of his cooking videos points towards yes. I would love to watch a livestream of him trying to drive, ride a bike, or even cross the street without dying. I can actually see him trying this if he gets desperate enough for money, it's a very basic bitch thing to do. especially if he gets really depressed from his inevitable downgrade in life when the river of ♿ cash stops flowing, depression tends to make you not care about life anymore which makes you less of a pussy. look back at how much other exceptional shit he's tried, it's not that unlikely.

he doesn't have the personality nor the likeability to be uploading videos of himself to the internet at all, but that doesn't stop him.
I'd love to see a video of Phil trying to cross the street, arms flailing and waddling maniacally, screaming about how "I ALMOST GOT KILLED DOOD!"
 
I'd love to see a video of Phil trying to cross the street, arms flailing and waddling maniacally, screaming about how "I ALMOST GOT KILLED DOOD!"
you'd get bored of that quickly as you realize that's what he does every single time he crosses the street. the real fun would come from the anticipation of him tripping over his own feet and falling off a cliff or getting hit by a train. or just getting beat up if he does the TTS thing that other IRL streamers do.
 

Pargon

He don't
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Phil's streams will never be more or less interesting than they are now because regardless of the featured activity it will always be secondary to the panhandling. If he was an IRL streamer we'd just get shit like

"Ooh, boy, do you guys think I should go deeper into the suicide forest? Hmm, I dunnoooooo...maybe Papavera could cheer me a map, ack ack ack."

I'll agree that Phil's scummy, manipulative ass does deserve to be lumped in with the same crowd as that Jaystation fuckwit but damn, at least Jaystation makes something. Held up beside DSP you really get context as to just how low-effort Phil is, despite the fact that both of them somehow realized that the key demographic for internet content is preteen boys living in the Western hemisphere.

Children (and the adult marketing executives who have them perpetually in their crosshairs) really do ruin everything.
 

Prince Lotor

. . .and the blackest eyes. The Devil's eyes.
kiwifarms.net
Phil says he has people "stalk" and "do crazy shit" to him "all the time in real life already" so he can't do it. It's "really dangerous" he says. He doesn't want to fucking DIE, okaaay?

Phil doing IRL streams would literally just be him sitting on a couch doing nothing. Like this
"This IS an IRL stream, okaaay?"
even though "I'm NAHT an IRL streamer, I'm a game streamer who 'hangs out' with you guys"
Also he knows this isn't an 'IRL' stream and that it belongs in the category 'Talk Shows'
He was going to do more """IRL""" streams. It's Tevin's fault he doesn't because he can't do them without his wife there to whore out to his ♿ for quarters
Also Phil can't do IRL streams because he will die, he can't even walk down stairs while filming because he will fall down them, okaaay?
 

Plastic Love

kiwifarms.net
Phil says he has people "stalk" and "do crazy shit" to him "all the time in real life already" so he can't do it. It's "really dangerous" he says. He doesn't want to fucking DIE, okaaay?
Classic lolcow blowing things out of proportion. Remember, he was totally swatted that one time you guys! And I even heard someone made a sign at a WWE match, won't anyone think of little Jasper's safety?

To address the topic at hand though Phil's ego would never allow him to be a fool on camera on purpose, even if it would MAYBE net him some of that money he loves so much. Detractors would absolutely lay into him hard with how inept he would be at everything. Think TIHYDP IRL edition. Would be pretty funny though.
 

Near

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
if he started doing IRL streams and took donations to do embarrassing shit and possibly get harassed by autistic detractors who actually show up and goof on him.
He is genuinely afraid of being assassinated when he has to go outside. If it's not a room where he can talk shit, be untouchable and have no voice that's challenging what he's saying, he will not do it no matter what. He's already making a killing off of sitting in his little stonewall mansion, and having people chuck pebbles at its walls.
 
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the khat quaffer

resplendent!
kiwifarms.net
The hilarious thing is, I WOULD unironically watch Phil if he did anything, ANYTHING other than his stupid fucking gaymin' streams while sitting on that stupid couch with his stupid melted gerbil-looking face perpetually stuck in that same stupid expression.

Part of me thinks that Phil might be a government psyop at this point because I've never seen him off that fucking couch in years, unless you count the quartering interview (which I don't). It would genuinely pique my curiosity to see him waddling about the Kohl's/Ikea/general Seattle landscape, sharing his insight with his ♿ legion. I WOULD watch that after being blue balled by that fuckin couch for years...

...now, with a gun to my head, I could never give Phil any shekels; however, watching his own streams and thus boosting his view count is the closest I'll ever come to doing that. Still won't turn off ublock though.

I don't know why he still says people don't want more DSP tries it. I think he once said it doesn't make enough money ie 'fuck what the people want'

Alas.

how like Chris he is, in that he vehemently rejects all the things that would bring him considerable sums of money and possibly even good will.
 
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