LIKE PHIL WOULD KNOW WHAT A GHETTO LOOKS LIKE LULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Given how much Phil looks down his nose at others, my inclination here is to think that he's putting words in his parents' mouths. Obviously it makes sense to think that he picked that trait up from his folks to begin with, and is therefore telling the truth, or at least the core of the story is true, but with us knowing nothing about them beyond what he says, I'm forced to consider the possibility that Phil is Phil because he was always going to be. He may not have been made at all, he was just born to be awful. Two of my siblings got the same upbringing I did, and they suck in ways that I never have.
Of all the things Phil claims to be ahthentic Italian the way he reacts around basketball americans is the most guido-bambino his mom was probably on the porch throwing out the malocchio to every kid in the neighborhood that looked like a tanned Sicilian on a daily basis.
I'm reluctant, and that's putting it lightly, to put any stock into Phil's assertions about his heritage. Anything he goes out of his way to find opportunities to bring up is automatically suspect, of course, but what makes his authentic Italian shtick even more so is that nothing he ever says about it holds any water when put to the test. Couldn't find Italy on a map, doesn't know what part of Italy his mom's side supposedly comes from, his sauce is so garbage that I'm surprised its mere existence hasn't given any real chef's a fucking ulcer, the list goes on, and to top it off, he hasn't even been provoked into any of this shit, it has all happened organically.
