Megathread Phil's Profile Pictures - and other pictures

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
Is that the Farms on his computer screen in the background?

Also, note the line of books behind the computer, with crap piled on top of them proving that they're not being read. So much for muh anarchist library.
It probably is the Farms. Phil is obsessed with the site. He's constantly on here either reading what we're saying about him, or keeping tabs on CWC because Phil is highly envious of Chris and wishes something terrible would happen to him so he can feel superior to Chris once in his life.

The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
Damn, this dude is ugly. It's actually unsettling to look at one of his photos for too long. This is one lolcow blackhole I think I would have rather not stepped in.
No, no. Phil is the gift that keeps on giving. His ugly-ass mug IS a bit of a shock at first, that's for sure, but soon you'll be able to appreciate the symmetry of just how fucking mongoloid he really looks.

The resemblance to an undercooked potato is even greater then that of Jason Genova, another cow compared to spuds facially.

The outlandish shit that he's done with his face over the years is breathtakingly awful. The absolute best/worst has to be the Goth/Witch phase he went through, with 'EVIL TRANS' tattooed or inked on, inverted cross in felt pen and the usual teen mallgoth shite in a man in his late 20s at the time. Pure gold.

And this is before he opens his stupid fat mouth or posts on various social media. The history of lies and projected dreams he's posted over the years are so tangled only the fact that Kiwi Farms archives EVERYTHING could allow anyone to remember and trace a path through them. Fatty certainly can't do it any more. He outright relies on Kiwis mocking him for forgetting his latest transtrender bullshit so that he can remember himself and add back onto it.

There's so SO much more, but basically, don't give up on the Philthy Phil rabbit hole. It's deeper and stinkier then you could ever imagine, but the rewards in schadenfreude and pure lulz are some of the richest in the entire Kiwi Farms cow-pen.


Wears a lab coat but curses like a sailor.
I know it’s late, but that ski mask makes him look like a re-tarded, derpy, cliched, generic bank robber or thief stuck in the ‘90s.

You are doing a terrible job at passing as a gorgeous, latinx Goddess of misandry.

Cosplaying as an ain’t fah super soaker is not a good way of passing as a pretty lady.
P.s. black is not a very feminine color and does not flatter you.

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
He looks like one of the nameless mooks who get gunned down in some Bronson revenge film while trying to do something completely idiotic.
Phil wouldn't even rate that high. He'd be the window-licking mongo who idolizes the gang, tries to come to the rescue of the gang in one of their first encounters with the hero, then ends up blowing himself and three gang members because he's too stupid to use a grenade right or loses control of an automatic weapon.

Syaoran Li

Commie Punks Fuck Off!
True & Honest Fan
Phil in a Balaclava looks like a generic bank robber.

Not one of the cool ones like in a Die Hard movie, more like one of the poorly digitized ones from Lethal Enforcers or any of the other countless arcade action games in the early 90's.

Actually, Phil might actually look slightly less ugly if he were a digitized sprite. Slightly.


A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
But Phil’s eyes will never look that normal.
The look of dimwitted surprise is at least accurate. Obviously the balaclava should be a lot tighter, struggling to contain his wattle.

It is also accurate in that the balaclava-wearing gent is typing on his computer, but is not actually fighting anyone.
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Lesbian Sleepover

Party Announcement
True & Honest Fan
Two words: Uber Eats. The gluttonous shut-in's best friend.
On a long call with a client one night in the south east , needed my Dunkin Donuts fix but all that was open was Starbucks. I was staying in a hotel, decent but exterior doors type.

Couldn't get off call for the emergencies with customers system, but needed coffee.

Downloaded the Postmates app and an hour later an African migrant , with a shitty attitude for 11PM in a nice area angrily brought me my coffees. I even tipped VERY generously.

Now, be Phil IRL and use one of those services. Can you imagine how long it must take for someone to pick up him or Toren's shitty orders of Chinese food and cough medicine??