Phil’s (totally not a kid's) 39th birthday! A.k.a goutfest ‘21 - Reminder: this dude is almost 40

What flavor is the cake going to be?


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Swirling weeb

Curator of Islamic content تركني الله
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Colloid

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He'll probably kill himself on his 40th when he realizes that his entire life has been a miserable failure.
As long as he has access to a steady supply of gin and p2w gacha he won't. Even if Kat filed for divorce, Twitch and YT banned him, and his top whales all left him the next day, he'll just quietly shrink back to his mom's basement and waste away the rest of his days until his body finally gives out from his poor health. Phil's idiot, narcissistic brain ensures that this ride never ends.
 

BT9494

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I can only imagine the conversation at checkout.

Cashier: "Oh yeah, these balloons are great. My little boy turned eight a few weeks ago and absolutely loved them. He and his friends play Fall Guys all day!"

DSP: "Enjoy your ban." (snorts and leans in)
 
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4 Star Hulkster
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After watching MrHuth Stuff's Phil classics and then checking this thread, it is almost painful how fast Phil aged since the Panda era, while she on the other hand looks perfectly fine and age appropriate. With every month, he turns more and more into a Dark Souls hollow. Anyway, happy Birthday Phil, may your whales shower you with tributes like a feudal Lord.
 

Coke Zero

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Rating you optimistic for Phil ever having a single moment of introspection.
Sure he absolutely does occasionally have some introspection and signs of a conscience, but he just writes it off as depression. "I'm so depressed guys, I have this little voice in my head telling me these balloons are childish and that I dont deserve a week long birthday celebration."
 

Super Book

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What's up with these old cows and their birthdays? Chantal over in the deahthfat land celebrated her entire damn 37th birthday week by binging on fast food and going on manic lives. These people are all deranged narcissists.
They don't have anything else really going on in their lives, so they tend to exaggerate simple stuff like birthdays and starting a new diet.
 

Coke Zero

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:story: Only Phil would complain that $14.50 on a set of fucking balloons has the capability of taking all the money set aside for bills that month and putting him in the hole.
Not only that, someone could give him the $14.50 and literally say use this to pay for the balloons but of course that wouldn't take care of the balloons because that exact $14.50 he had no idea was coming has already been spoken for and can't go towards the balloons.
 
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