Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

Yautja

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It makes me wince looking at him. His poor body must be screaming in pain with how much inflammation it has from the copious amount of grain alcohol and sugar+simple carbs he consumes. His skin looks paper thin and I'm sure his circulation is incredibly bad as well considering his diet but also because he doesn't work out. I doubt he takes anything for his gut health and on top of that alcohol destroys your good bacteria from your stomach to your intestines so I can only imagine how bad his stools are.

But anyway the body usually has tells of whats going on inside and if you put him side by side someone his age who works out and eats healthy like eats dark leafy greens and doesn't imbibe in drink too often and eats healthy fats and gets their needed amount of water daily and sun etc etc its night and day. He's going to have a heart attack or go into diabetic shock live on stream one of these days. As much as I don't like the guy it's still really sad to see someone mistreat their body in that way and there's no WAY he feels good. Probably one of the reasons he gets mad so easily.
I think the sadder part is you don't even have to compare him to someone who works out. You can compare him to the average 40 year old who isn't sedentary and they'll look at least 5 or 6 years younger than him.
 

You see??

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I think the sadder part is you don't even have to compare him to someone who works out. You can compare him to the average 40 year old who isn't sedentary and they'll look at least 5 or 6 years younger than him.
Yeah you're right. And who knows how much longer a body like that can take. He sits all day and he's complained about his limbs going numb. Dude's nearing heart attack territory.
 

Corpun

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Yeah you're right. And who knows how much longer a body like that can take. He sits all day and he's complained about his limbs going numb. Dude's nearing heart attack territory.
I'm wondering how he will retcon the inevitable heart attack/stroke on stream when it happens.
 

twattycake

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I'm wondering how he will retcon the inevitable heart attack/stroke on stream when it happens.
That's an easy one, I can even do it in Pigspeak:

"I was trying to stand up to the cyberbullies and not let the trolls win but the khanstant harassment got to me and ruined my health. The hospital was also full of idiot nudniks who didn't know what they were doing, okaay, so now I have to pay $15,000 IMMEDIATELY or my health insurance gets cut off and they won't even give me the medicine I need anymore, The trolls aren't going to take the ONE LIFE I have on this Earth away from me!".

If he wants to be completely shameless and brazen, he'll even retcon the huge charges on his bank statement to "behind the scenes" payments to doctors for the health problems the trolls caused.
 
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Corpun

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That's an easy one, I can even do it in Pigspeak:

"I was trying to stand up to the cyberbullies and not let the trolls win but the khanstant harassment got to me and ruined my health. The hospital was also full of idiot nudniks who didn't know what they were doing, okaay, so now I have to pay $15,000 IMMEDIATELY or my health insurance gets cut off and they won't even give me the medicine I need anymore, The trolls aren't going to take the ONE LIFE I have on this Earth away from me!".

If he wants to be completely shameless and brazen, he'll even retcon the huge charges on his bank statement to "behind the scenes" payments to doctors for the health problems the trolls caused.
How will he retcon Khet coming on stream and showing how fat she is now as she tries to help the first responders revive him?
 

twattycake

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How will he retcon Khet coming on stream and showing how fat she is now as she tries to help the first responders revive him?
I doubt she would notice or care. We don't know much about her but we do know that she has zero interest in his streams - she even watches other streamers' LPs rather than Phil's which is my new favorite form of cuckoldry. If he lost consciousness from a stroke or heart attack there is a good chance that she would not notice until he was already dead.

Most strokes and heart attacks are also NOT the dramatic, fall-over-dead type you see on movies and TV. Minor heart attacks are painful but do not even result in tingling due to loss of circulation and small strokes will only result in the patient spacing out for a few seconds-a minute. Even if Phil did have one of those on stream and needed Kat to drive him to the ER, he'd have the mental and physical capacity to shuffle off screen first. This ties into your comment, I definitely agree he would NOT want 300 lb Kat on-stream even if it were a real medical emergency because "not letting the trolls win" takes precedence over everything else in his life.
 

Corpun

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I doubt she would notice or care. We don't know much about her but we do know that she has zero interest in his streams - she even watches other streamers' LPs rather than Phil's which is my new favorite form of cuckoldry. If he lost consciousness from a stroke or heart attack there is a good chance that she would not notice until he was already dead.
Regardless of Khet's personal feelings on Phil she needs him alive and (relatively) healthy in order to continue living life on easy mode as he e-begs most of his savings away. I'm sure without her around Phil would actually have no money left from his addictions to blow on fine dining.
 

TheGoutburglar

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Kat may rely upon Mr. Potatohead for things, but if she's as presumptuous as he is about the good times just keeping on forever, then yes, it will be too late when she discovers that her disgusting sugar daddy has had a heart attack or is suffering from acute alcohol poisoning. There's no doubt that she avoids him as it is, she has, after all, never come through that door to his "office" since leaving it years ago. Shit, she hasn't even been overheard more than a couple of times, and any time Phil feels the need to speak to her, he typically has to venture far away from the pigsty he streams from. Suffice to say, Katherine would have to be missing him for QUITE some time before thinking something is wrong, especially if it happened during his usual late night gin and gacha sessions. It's not like she gives him chores to do, we would be hearing him bitch about it if she did.
 

You see??

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I'm wondering how he will retcon the inevitable heart attack/stroke on stream when it happens.
He'll say something about how his face being drooped even more is just a cause of old age and that it's totally normal dood. It's like when he's falling asleep on stream and tries to play it off as how he needs more oxygen in his blood so he starts lightly jumping up and down. He'll never tell the truth haha.

Kat may rely upon Mr. Potatohead for things, but if she's as presumptuous as he is about the good times just keeping on forever, then yes, it will be too late when she discovers that her disgusting sugar daddy has had a heart attack or is suffering from acute alcohol poisoning. There's no doubt that she avoids him as it is, she has, after all, never come through that door to his "office" since leaving it years ago. Shit, she hasn't even been overheard more than a couple of times, and any time Phil feels the need to speak to her, he typically has to venture far away from the pigsty he streams from. Suffice to say, Katherine would have to be missing him for QUITE some time before thinking something is wrong, especially if it happened during his usual late night gin and gacha sessions. It's not like she gives him chores to do, we would be hearing him bitch about it if she did.
Actually I think she did open the door once within the past year or slightly over a year I believe. Remember when he said he had to end the stream early because someone was coming over to the pig pen? It was some type of worker or something and right before he ended the stream he looked over to the door and and was obviously talking to her and he asked her "oh are they here already? Ok." Then he ended the stream.
 

TheGoutburglar

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Actually I think she did open the door once within the past year or slightly over a year I believe. Remember when he said he had to end the stream early because someone was coming over to the pig pen? It was some type of worker or something and right before he ended the stream he looked over to the door and and was obviously talking to her and he asked her "oh are they here already? Ok." Then he ended the stream.
That must have happened during one of my breaks from the vortex, because I didn't know about that. Obviously the fact that it stands out so much furthers our stance that they don't interact as much as he would like everyone to believe. I mean, if that's what it takes for her to get anywhere near the pigsty, the very unusual occurrence of them having a visitor, that sure says a lot. Especially since we already have plenty reason to think she doesn't say "Hi" to him when she gets home, ever. That's something you expect out of a marriage that's heading for divorce, not the loving relationship Phil expects everyone to picture.

And the fact that he's "working" doesn't matter here, because his streams would hardly become LESS interesting or in any way truly derailed with Katherine's greeting being a regular part of them. More like the opposite, actually. Even Phil thinks so, he wants her back in, he just gets irritated about the inquiries because he's afraid of her getting pissy with him over it. Doesn't take much to put fear in him, or, perhaps in this case, get him agitated at the thought of having to be criticized by someone he can't just give the finger to.
 
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Corpun

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Actually I think she did open the door once within the past year or slightly over a year I believe. Remember when he said he had to end the stream early because someone was coming over to the pig pen? It was some type of worker or something and right before he ended the stream he looked over to the door and and was obviously talking to her and he asked her "oh are they here already? Ok." Then he ended the stream.
So this confirms Khet is embarrassed by her husband's professional job I guess. Then again who wants to hear a sweaty, 40 year old man child telling about how he is a mature adult, everyone who hates him is a troll, and the game is bugged interspersed with begging for tips.
 

DarksydePhil's Tits

are bigger than Kat's
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He'll say something about how his face being drooped even more is just a cause of old age and that it's totally normal dood. It's like when he's falling asleep on stream and tries to play it off as how he needs more oxygen in his blood so he starts lightly jumping up and down. He'll never tell the truth haha.


Actually I think she did open the door once within the past year or slightly over a year I believe. Remember when he said he had to end the stream early because someone was coming over to the pig pen? It was some type of worker or something and right before he ended the stream he looked over to the door and and was obviously talking to her and he asked her "oh are they here already? Ok." Then he ended the stream.
I believe that was in Oct. 2019, with Phil later admitting Rochelle was coming to visit or something. Whether it actually was that or somebody else, like maintenance coming to work on the house (as some also speculated at the time), I guess depends on whether you think Phil would lie about that specifically.
 

Corpun

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In Phil's Halloween stream he started ranting about how shitty soft cookies were from whatever brand he got. While I agree with him this got me thinking, as I know most brand cookies are not hard. They aren't homemade soft but they are definitely not like ginger snaps.

While it is speculation on my part, I suspect his dental hygiene now is so awful even cookies are a pain to eat. Phil's mouth must be a fucking haven for bacteria.
 

TheGoutburglar

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In Phil's Halloween stream he started ranting about how shitty soft cookies were from whatever brand he got. While I agree with him this got me thinking, as I know most brand cookies are not hard. They aren't homemade soft but they are definitely not like ginger snaps.

While it is speculation on my part, I suspect his dental hygiene now is so awful even cookies are a pain to eat. Phil's mouth must be a fucking haven for bacteria.
I think there's more than enough footage of him struggling to eat without making a pained face to call it a foregone conclusion that his teeth and/or gums are royally fucked. I myself have gum damage (it has literally eroded away in some spots), and I still don't experience such discomfort when eating.

Also, Phil is the same guy who only bathes twice a week. Not hard to jump from that to "Almost never brushes either".
 

Corpun

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I think there's more than enough footage of him struggling to eat without making a pained face to call it a foregone conclusion that his teeth and/or gums are royally fucked. I myself have gum damage (it has literally eroded away in some spots), and I still don't experience such discomfort when eating.

Also, Phil is the same guy who only bathes twice a week. Not hard to jump from that to "Almost never brushes either".
I'm in the same spot as you. I certainly don't have the best dental hygiene but I can still eat fine. Phil on te other hand always looks like he is in pain eating and I seriously doubt has gone to a dentists office in his adult life once. This is the guy who refuses to wear glasses and get eye appointments, no way he feels like going to get his teeth checked.
 

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
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I think there's more than enough footage of him struggling to eat without making a pained face to call it a foregone conclusion that his teeth and/or gums are royally fucked. I myself have gum damage (it has literally eroded away in some spots), and I still don't experience such discomfort when eating.

Also, Phil is the same guy who only bathes twice a week. Not hard to jump from that to "Almost never brushes either".
It could be a combination of two things. Poor dental hygiene leading to more bacterial growth in the mouth leading to ulcers and sores. Or it could be a form of malnutrition and he's not getting all he needs from his food considering they eat fast / convenience food all the time and Khet's skills in the kitchen are based on protein and starch only.

You can get away with this kind of diet when you're 20. You can't when you're 40.
 

TheGoutburglar

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You can get away with this kind of diet when you're 20. You can't when you're 40.
Which is precisely why he went from somewhat lean, in all the oldest photos we have of him, to being fat the rest of his life. Youth protected him for a short while, then his lifestyle overwhelmed and showed the world what kind of lazy, gluttonous, and stupid person he is.

What's crazy is that he doesn't hate being fat. He hates being CALLED fat.
 

Yautja

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His fucking mustache is greying now. He isn't even 40. Every new vdeo I see of him he looks worse and worse for wear. I'm expecting his skin to fall off soon.
This is why I genuinely believe this dude is stressed out immensely. Just being sedentary doesn't age you like this. There are plenty of sedentary people who look decent or average, hell even fat people tend to look younger than they are. This dude is living life on intentional hard mode treating his health as callously as humanly possible

This dude is battling gacha demons like crazy "behind the scenes"
 

Corpun

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This is why I genuinely believe this dude is stressed out immensely. Just being sedentary doesn't age you like this. There are plenty of sedentary people who look decent or average, hell even fat people tend to look younger than they are. This dude is living life on intentional hard mode treating his health as callously as humanly possible

This dude is battling gacha demons like crazy "behind the scenes"
He has no one to blame but himself. He just cares about money for his Gacha, look at his rant post-Halo. The source of his bitching was the fear people wouldn't give him money because of OIC doxxing people, not the fact OIC is a creep who threatens to dox people.