Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

FoxVirus

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Apr 22, 2021
That arm atrophy has gotten worse. He did complain about how he gets tired of carrying one gallon of milk.
Anyone can see the shade right under his absent triceps.
 

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Sup3r

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Sep 10, 2021
That arm atrophy has gotten worse. He did complain about how he gets tired of carrying one gallon of milk.
Anyone can see the shade right under his absent triceps.
I'd reference his claims of being a former weight lifter but that would be beating a dead horse. I bet he doesn't even bring the gallon of milk in now, instead leaving it for the living horse while he carries in the hamburger helper and packets of mashed potatoes in (because with how lazy they are, do you really think she makes them from scratch)
 

Yautja

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Sep 25, 2021
That arm atrophy has gotten worse. He did complain about how he gets tired of carrying one gallon of milk.
Anyone can see the shade right under his absent triceps.
Christ. I don't know which is worse. His holocaust survivor arms or his massive titties. Poor sleep, diet, high bodyfat, and lack of movement has to have his testosterone production fucked for the rest of his life
 

Corpun

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In a detractor video I saw maybe a month or two ago he sat up and you could see how bloated his body was. He wasn't 400+ pounds boomer in WalMart bloated but he is well on his way with his current lifestyle. Also does anyone know if there is a reason he drinks seltzer water (according to himself).
 

Funko Pops NFT collector

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Phil being ugly as fuck,unhealthy and having a soyboy body with no muscle mass is one of my favorite lolcow traits he posses, the nigga has so little muscle that he would have to do bicep curls with the pink weights in the gym rather that the dumbells with 2,5lbs on each side yet he has the gall to claim that he is healthy strong frogga because he used to lift two decades ago(even though we never seen a picture of him even being slightly fit,he was either skinny or mega fat) and that he is so yoked he can still do the pec dance lmao. Imagine this nigga saying those things to someone IRL,no wonder he never talks to anyone or leaves the house.
 

TheGoutburglar

The only good pigroach is a salty one.
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Also does anyone know if there is a reason he drinks seltzer water (according to himself).
I don't know what reason he gives (probably doesn't give any to begin with), but going theory around here is that it's to soothe his stomach problems that stem from getting hammered every night.

Personally, I think he's lying about it being seltzer water, ever. I think that's gin in his jug, always. There's a reason he stopped using plastic water bottles even though he used to love crunching them right into the mic, and it isn't going to be because he stopped enjoying being a childish dick. Not to mention Phil loves enabling his vices, not fighting them, and what always happens is escalation. It clearly isn't enough, the time and money he used to spend on gacha, and so to will it be for his drinking, no doubt about it.

It's just a question of which one is to going to kill him first.
 

Corpun

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I don't know what reason he gives (probably doesn't give any to begin with), but going theory around here is that it's to soothe his stomach problems that stem from getting hammered every night.

Personally, I think he's lying about it being seltzer water, ever. I think that's gin in his jug, always. There's a reason he stopped using plastic water bottles even though he used to love crunching them right into the mic, and it isn't going to be because he stopped enjoying being a childish dick. Not to mention Phil loves enabling his vices, not fighting them, and what always happens is escalation. It clearly isn't enough, the time and money he used to spend on gacha, and so to will it be for his drinking, no doubt about it.

It's just a question of which one is to going to kill him first.
I've always assumed the same that it is sometimes or all the time gin or another alcoholic beverage. That or his alcohol addicited brain is so fucked seltzer water tastes like gin to him. Alternativwely I guess it could help him burb into the mic to piss his audience off if it's carbonated enough.
 

actually

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I don't know what reason he gives (probably doesn't give any to begin with), but going theory around here is that it's to soothe his stomach problems that stem from getting hammered every night.

Personally, I think he's lying about it being seltzer water, ever. I think that's gin in his jug, always. There's a reason he stopped using plastic water bottles even though he used to love crunching them right into the mic, and it isn't going to be because he stopped enjoying being a childish dick. Not to mention Phil loves enabling his vices, not fighting them, and what always happens is escalation. It clearly isn't enough, the time and money he used to spend on gacha, and so to will it be for his drinking, no doubt about it.

It's just a question of which one is to going to kill him first.
I think he has carbonated water at least some of the time. Specifically, when he's belching a lot. But when he has 2 different bottles? Yeah, gin in at least one.
 

Corpun

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More expensive=better.
There's also no denying it's a slightly more robust 'custom' style of water.
"You see this is why I don't like American water. This seltzer stuff has a very robust flavor. I can feel my tastebuds jumping with joy when I drink this stuff. I love it."
 

Flavius Anthemius

Praetorian prefect of the East
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"You see this is why I don't like American water. This seltzer stuff has a very robust flavor. I can feel my tastebuds jumping with joy when I drink this stuff. I love it."
Phil should maybe look into making his own custom seltzer water, just like a cocktail. That should satisfy his taste buds, he can add as much gin as he wants and some cherry juice to mitigate any gout outbreaks.
 

Corpun

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Phil should maybe look into making his own custom seltzer water, just like a cocktail. That should satisfy his taste buds, he can add as much gin as he wants.
I wouldn't be surprised if he waters down his gin at all in an attempt to keep himself from getting wasted on stream. One of these days he will slip up bad.
 

Derich 2nd of coomland

You want it to be one way,but it's the other way
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I wouldn't be surprised if he waters down his gin at all in an attempt to keep himself from getting wasted on stream. One of these days he will slip up bad.
Dont be a tease like that.

There is nothing I would rather watch than angry, bitter, spiteful, resentful and racist Phil fortified by some Dutch courage stumble into his ''office'' turn on his webcam and go full tard for an hour+.
 

Corpun

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Dont be a tease like that.

There is nothing I would rather watch than angry, bitter, spiteful, resentful and racist Phil fortified by some Dutch courage stumble into his ''office'' turn on his webcam and go full tard for an hour+.
Wouldn't everyone. I don't know what I'd love to witness more, a real stroke on stream or him absolutely shitfaced like he was way back letting everything out. I imagine he'd berate everyone, even his whales if he was shitfaced.
 

actually

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Wouldn't everyone. I don't know what I'd love to witness more, a real stroke on stream or him absolutely shitfaced like he was way back letting everything out. I imagine he'd berate everyone, even his whales if he was shitfaced.
Shitfaced. 100%. Because he would drop all pretense and express himself freely. And the blowback would be hysterical.
 

TheGoutburglar

The only good pigroach is a salty one.
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Drunk Phil is probably the only state in which someone with all the available knowledge on him could possibly extract any more of the truth directly from him, though I doubt he has thought about that. His reservation is going to be entirely from knowing full well that if he gets sloshed on stream, he's going to say shit that will prove he has not changed from the days of Young Phil. Not only is that cancel-worthy, but upsetting to his ego, because there's a reason he sounded so angry when he declared that he had worked so hard for years at watching his mouth. We know how much he hates putting forth effort, well he's going to hate it even more when it doesn't amount to what he wants it to, regardless of how, even as he exerted himself, he still took the easy way out by simply holding True Phil in. He doesn't make such distinctions, after all. Same guy who thinks putting on a stupid vest qualifies as "entertainment".

Speaking of which, as much as he already slips up and expresses his true feelings on a number of things as it is, just imagine what would come out about being made into a muppet, slow streams, and, possibly the biggest of them all, who is actually living with him if it isn't Katherine.