Pineapple does not belong on pizza -

[Solid Snek]

God damn kids today. When I was a young sperg, and we wanted to be funny, we'd pretend to throw tantrums over anchovy pizza. "Anchovies are so salty!" we'd say. "If you eat them, you're a nigger faggot kike! Testicles!"

But you know what, I'm too old to care about le pizza memes anymore. Pineapple is a fine fruit and there's nothing wrong with having it on a pizza.

 

[Dandelion Eyes]

Reddit-tier thread.

 

[The Last Stand]

Okay, pineapple juice is tasty.

 

[Vitruvius]

Reddit-tier thread.

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

 

[Xarpho]

This is the gayest and most basic bitch forced meme food hot take that emerged in recent years.

Agreed, caring about pineapple on pizza is retarded, and any "muh Italian bastardization" doesn't apply since pizza was bastardized years ago.

That being said, pineapple falls outside of what I call the "Pizza/Sandwich/Burger triad", a general compatibility of ingredients (meats, cheeses, some vegetables) that are fine in at least two (if not all three, usually rarely) of sandwiches, burgers, and pizza.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

Pineapple does not belong on pizza and if you like it that way you're probably a bottom ass bitch that likes dick in the ass. Real men order supreme.

EDIT: The first person to vote wrong is named SISSY, further proving my point. Is this truly the best the pinapple cuckold crew has to offer?

EDIT 2: @Maskull please refrain from using the wrong stickers on my posts in this thread, I think you meant to leave "agree" and "semper fidelis" stickers in that order.

I can see how a man like yourself, who was clearly molested by Hawaiians, might find the sharp acidic tones of pineapple, as it moistens and tenderises a strip of cured pork, liable to stir unpleasant memories that he had hoped to leave behind at Christian Surf Camp.

However, for some of us, the pineapple ranks second only to the coconut and chocolate concoction that is the Bounty Bar in evoking the sultry tropics. Combine this treasure, plucked from the bosom of equatorial Eden, with the cuisine of a nation synonymous with opera, superfluous hand gesticulation, and moped-assisted handbag snatching, and you have nothing less than the fusion of the primitive roots and cultural apex of our species. Biting into a slice of Hawaiian pizza mentally transports me to an island in the South Pacific, where I have been engaged to present a series of lectures on Dante, in-between bouts of adventurous sex. The dreary, freezer-burned margherita, that you plucked from the chilled cabinet of a gas station, tastes of your own congealing tears and masturbation sweat.

What Macario and the other camp councillors did to you in the wetsuit storage shed was unforgivable, however the world should not have to suffer for their crimes. You must carry that shameful burden alone.

 

[Vitruvius]

I can see how a man like yourself, who was clearly molested by Hawaiians, might find the sharp acidic tones of pineapple, as it moistens and tenderises a strip of cured pork, liable to stir unpleasant memories that he had hoped to leave behind at Christian Surf Camp.

However, for some of us, the pineapple ranks second only to the coconut and chocolate concoction that is the Bounty Bar in evoking the sultry tropics. Combine this treasure, plucked from the bosom of equatorial Eden, with the cuisine of a nation synonymous with opera, superfluous hand gesticulation, and moped-assisted handbag snatching, and you have nothing less than the fusion of the primitive roots and cultural apex of our species. Biting into a slice of Hawaiian pizza mentally transports me to an island in the South Pacific, where I have been engaged to present a series of lectures on Dante in-between bouts of adventurous sex. The dreary, freezer-burned margherita, that you plucked from the chilled cabinet of a gas station, tastes of your own congealing tears and masturbation sweat.

What Macario and the other camp councillors did to you in the wetsuit storage shed was unforgivable, however the world should not have to suffer for their crimes. You must carry that shameful burden alone.

I just want to be able to shit without bleeding and listen to somewhere over the rainbow without having a panic attack again

 

[737 MAX Stan Account]

I thought so to, but now I'm going to put it on pizza just to spite you.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

a nation synonymous with opera, superfluous hand gesticulation, and moped-assisted handbag snatching

Few have penned so concise a summary of the national character of a people. Verily, Shakespeare would be proud.

 

[Weed Eater]

We have no space for fence sitters in this thread please either agree with my correct opinion or accept that you are wrong and a filthy pineapple-on-pizzacel

How am I a fence sitter when pineapple and ham have always been known as a good combination. I just don't want wet pizza. Take your reddit tier retard sperging back to reddit pls.

 

[AbyssStarer]

So you're so asshurt about what other people put on a pizza that you had to make a whole thread about it instead of being Unoriginal Faggot #50 posting about it in the Unpopular Opinions About Food thread?
Cuz that's pretty fucking pathetic.

 

[COCl₂]

I love pineapple on pizza. One of my favs is pineapple, grilled chicken, and red onion.

 

[Vitruvius]

So you're so asshurt about what other people put on a pizza that you had to make a whole thread about it instead of being Unoriginal Faggot #50 posting about it in the Unpopular Opinions About Food thread?
Cuz that's pretty fucking pathetic.

Lol I was drunk and bored one night and was wondering why the fuck kiwi farms had a food subforum, so I decided to have some fun and make a dumb thread. Relax I don't actually give a fuck what people put on their pizza.

 

[Totally Awesome]

Pineapple belongs up Hitler's ass.

 

[A Gay Retard]

This is the sort of hot take my gay retarded boomer father will hit you with unsolicited

 

[Brahma]

Thinly sliced fresh pineapple not just chunks out of a can

Some hot sausage, andouille, pasqualara something like that

Bit of mozzarella.

Raw tomato base not some fucked up marinara monstrosity


Sweet, spicy and creamy mild all together.

Honestly it's the fact that pineapple is juicy as fuck, and anything wet/watery doesn't mix with pizza

Needs to be cooked at a high temperature and it's fine. Like real mozzarella, that works too but only if you have a hot enough oven

 

[Staffy]

Watermelon pizza anyone?

 

[horrorfan89]

ah yes the supposed "Hawaiian" pizza combo...that was created by a fucking Canadian

 

[Begemot]

Watermelon pizza anyone?

Watermelon and squid pizza is God-Tier. I tried some in Hawaii last year, pretty good.

 

[TFT-A9]

Watermelon and squid pizza is God-Tier. I tried some in Hawaii last year, pretty good.

What do they use for sauce on that?