Kiwi Farms

This is the title screen, as you might have guessed. Nothing interesting happens, and I listened to the music all the way through. I adjusted the options and began a new game.
There's some dialogue about the game beforehand, mostly the usual talking about thanking you for playing the game, have fun on your new adventure, etc. Nothing terribly interesting. The game has two difficulty settings: Normal and Hard (Although Easy is advertised on their host sites). I'm not sure if I'm not actually choosing between Fair and Unfair (or Unfair and Really Unfair) so if a Kiwi's aware I picked a Baby Mode that was just labeled Normal, let me know. We have time to change it.
Hmm...no non-binary option. Guess the trend of Kiwi LPers being non-binary mental wrecks is dying down. Well, I make LPs FOR MEEEEN! So I'm going to be a boy.
My name. A question with so many answers. Who is this new trainer? The trainer that will live in the hallowed halls of Kiwi Farms with the likes of Sargon, Deviant, and Newfag...what should I name him? The future Chad Thundercock of the Pokemon world, the future Champion of every region, the one who will be the very best like no one ever was...WHO BE YOU?
Yep, I named him Sped because I don't just play a child on the Internet. My head canon is that Sped of course isn't his real name, but a mean nickname his older brother (the aforementioned Alex) came up with that stuck. This will lead to some unintentional hilarity,
This is the only thing you can interact with in your room. Sped's ADHD is so bad he can't be bothered to put away his underwear properly.
The ellipses and lack of contraction make it sound like Mom popped her Valium this morning when she greets me. She then proceeds to try and rush me out of the house so she can pop that bottle of chardonnay she has hidden under the table. Nothing else of interest here.
Yep, we're in Kanto right now. The prologue takes place in Saffron City, and you can run around and explore a bit. Most of the plot critical houses from FR/LG give you a locked message, and Sped refuses to go into the Gyms or Pokemon Center. He will enter the Mart, though...
I wonder what his usual would be. Hmm...some things will just remain a mystery.
Oak's lab is labeled Oak's New Lab, implying that after giving Pokemon to the only kids in Pallet Town that had a future he got fed up with his only friend being some fat neckbeard who hangs around outside his lab and spergs about the power of technology. Just like Ash, we slept in and woke up too late to get a Pokemon. I'll just transcribe the rest of the conversation in bold so we don't overwhelm the server with pictures of dialogue boxes with nothing else happening.
Oak: Oh dear...Sped, this was not expected...You're a little bit late! There are no Pokemon left whatsoever, I have just given the last one to Alex!
Alex: Sorry, Sped...
So Sped was too late to get a Pokemon. Is it just me, or does Oak's dialogue look just a little stilted? We'll see this strangely formal dialogue pop up every now and then.
Anyway, Alex decides to catch a Pokemon for Sped. Aww...he's such a good big brother. Oak gives us some Pokeballs and we teleport to the field between Saffron City and Vermillion City.
There's some theater of Alex catching the Eevee with his Bulbasaur. We can walk around a bit, but Sped won't go too far away. If you want to move on, you need to take the Pokeball with Eevee in it.
I name the Eevee Lamarck. It's the only proper name for a Pokemon that evolves when exposed to environmental changes and stays that way forever. Naming Eevee after Charles Darwin...why, you'd have to be so confused you don't even know your own gender! (I'm not sure when we'll get to a Name Rater, so I just took this one. Don't worry, I'll get the community involved on other mons.) Anyway, Alex plays the dutiful son and teleports us back to Mom so we can say our goodbyes.
Alex, Alex, Alex...I wish Dad was still around. At least he only ever physically abused me...
Well, at least she's not sexually abusing me...guess we all have our crosses to bear...
Mom: Professor Oak Came here earlier with an extraordinary offer! He said he has a friend in the Armira region who is in need of an assistant to work there. In all honesty, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would want to go!
Can't wait until I'm old enough to travel the world. Maybe I can find Dad in my late teens and we can be like buddies like in the movies...
What?!
I screencapped this whole section because this all strikes me as a bit weird. Not Alex not wanting to leave his home region and asking if they even speak English in what is essentially another country, but the fact that Mom seems to give him a Look over it. These are all perfectly valid concerns, and it seems like the devs want us to think what Alex says is...problematic, I guess. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Anyway...
Psh...yeah, fat chance. Like Mom even knows I exi-
What? Seriously?! Fuck yes, get me out of this shit heap and away from your Valium popping chardonnay-drenched ass!
Umm...did I say you were a Valium popping wine-soaked harpy? I mean I love you mommy!

Alex: I can't believe that you really want to go to the Armira region and train there! I thought this journey would be OUR journey together, you know?
Well bro, you see-
Oh birds, you two aren't going to kill me, are you? Just let me leave, I swear you'll never see me again!

Anyway, Alex suggests we look to evolve our Eevee if we get bored. I'll get to that in a second. For now, Mom and Alex go right into a conversation as if poor Sped isn't even there.


They?! I haven't even left yet and they're already not using my name and talking like I'm not in the room? Birds, this family sucks!

All right, so Saffron is open for now. Oak offers us the stones to get Jolteon, Flareon, or Vaporeon, but...

An astonishingly nice Sabrina points us to the Silph Company to learn more, and also explains the Friendship and Environmental mechanics to evolve Eevee. She also foreshadows the Dualeon mecahnic that'll let us multitype the Eon of our choice.
These guys in the Silph Company HQ offer to evolve the Eevee into a harder to get form after foreshadowing the Dualeon mechanic a bit more. So all the Eons save Sylveon are on the table right at the beginning.