Let's Sperg Pokémon Reborn (Screenshot LP) -A Matureᵀᴹ take on the beloved franchaise- -

Mary the Goldsmith

kiwifarms.net
Episode 17: The Island Part 1: They glow in the dark.

Welcome back to more Pokymen! Last episode Sargon decided xe is gonna defeat all the gym's kick the elite four's ass, become the new champion and make Reborn great again! Also something about some schizo kids.
1.PNG

Sargon disembarks at Apophyll beach, curiously enough you can sail back and forth between here and the city with no consecuense, despite you know the boat eating acid.
2.PNG

This poor fisherman still has hope he will one day catch something other than a grimer in the acid lake.
3.PNG

Some of the students at the academy are hostile.
4.PNG

Sargon expected the fighting type gym leader's students to be martial arts practicioners, or at least be inspired by Xiaolin Monks, instead zhe finds a bunch of hippies.
5.PNG

I kinda like Riolu and its evolution, but this one falls down easily.
6.PNG

The academy itself has a weaboo err Japanese aesthetic, the tileset looks quite nice imo.
7.PNG

Everybody here is constantly sucking Kiki's dick.
8.PNG

This guy serves as a Poke Mart so I don't have to go back and forth to the city, except I do since he doesn't sell Ice Cream. Or the Revive Cottons.
9.PNG

In one of the rooms we find this guy, he is the one who tells you what type your pokémon's secret power is.
The pokémon Daycare is on the other side of town, close to where we battled our first Pulse Tangrowth, so if I was breeding for perfect IVs and shit I would have to run back and forth to know if I got the pokémon I wanted.
10.PNG

This guy pushed himself to hard at the gym and now wants some protein.
sargonFace.png
: Sorry but my pokémon ate all the Protein I had, they did get some sick gains tho.
11.PNG

sargonFace.png: "Faito"? Seems you weren't bullied enough as a kid, allow me to fix that mistake.
12.PNG

Sheeple takes quick care of the Poliwhirl with a Discharge.
13.PNG

sargonFace.png:Only losers say that, but at least you learned to talk like a normal human being.

Meanwhile in a faraway region, some kid named MC-Kun felt a disturbance in the force after Sargon's comment.
14.PNG

sargonFace.png:Then tell me where she went!
Oh, you're looking for her?
BattleGirlFace.png
sargonFace.pngNo, I'm just making conversation, of course I'm looking for her you daft cunt!

Hm, well, she went down to teach a class in the Training Grounds. BattleGirlFace.png
You could probably try and catch her after the lecture.
They're basically right out the front door; can't miss them.
And off we go.
15.PNG

sargonFace.png:Fuck no! I'm here to kick your arse!

Just a vistor then? That's perfectly fine.
KikiFace.png

sargonFace.png: I have some important... are you glowing?

Please, have a seat.KikiFace.png
SargonPhone.png
:but I need... oh Red has posted something on Facebook, give me a sec.
16.PNG

Sargon goes back to tweet while Kiki starts rambling.
We will be reviewing the final principle for this curriculum, the art of void.KikiFace.png
Void is the acknowledgement of that which cannot be known.
It is the understanding that all ideas are in themselves fallible.
For that reason, this principle cannot be taught; only considered.
Many people believe that some things are "right" and "correct" and others are not.
But these are not the laws of the world.
When examining these ideas objectively, one finds that they are in themselves a deviance from the broader sense of existence.
Concepts such as "virtues" or "evil" must not be given way to exist, for this is not the true void.
By perceiving that which exists, learn to perceive that which does not.
All things, even this instruction, must be questioned.
That will be all for today. Thank you.

Sargon meamwhile is busy on social media. You see Red is one of the very few trainers Sargon actually respects, and xe will white knight any time some dang dirty troll tries to get to him.
fb.png

This post ended in an autistic slap fight between Ame, Amanda and Proff. Stump each arguing that their respective leagues are "the hardest ever". Also Blue ended up blocking Sargon after xe started reeeeing at him for his comment.
I wanted this to be a tweet comment chain instead of a Facebook post but the gayass page I use to make the fake tweets doesn't allow comments, and the page I found that does allow comments for some reason requires every "reply" to have a picture and it looks gay. Anyway I still had more fun doing this stupid Facebook post than playing this part of the game.
17.PNG

Meanwhile Kiki has been standing there patiently waiting for Sargon to stop sperging on social media.
18.PNG

Was there something you required me for?KikiFace.png
SargonSmile.png
Yes, I need the Strength HM, pretty please?

Due to one of xer comments being liked by Red, Sargon is in an unusually good mood.

It is in my possession.KikiFace.png
However, it is only typically awarded to graduating students of the Academy.
SargonSmile.pngOh, that sucks, is there any chance you could make an exception?

KikiFace.png
I must be returning now, but please come speak to me in my room at the Academy. We will see what
can be done.
SargonSmile.pngOf course, I'll see you there.

And she leaves, while Sargon continiues to sperg on social media for a few hours more.
19.PNG

Here is the TM for Focus Blast but we need Rock Climb to get it and we won't get Rock Climb until very late into the game. Well let's go talk to Kiki.
20.PNG

Back at the academy we run into Victoria
sargonFace.pngUgh, and this day was going great...

I finally caught up to you!
VictoriaFace.png
21.PNG


Yes, I was going to, but so many other important things have been happening.VictoriaFace.png
We have to speak to Kiki at once. Is she in her room?
BattleGirlFace.pngSTUDENT: I think I just saw her come in.
Okay, good. VictoriaFace.png
I'm going ahead.
sargonFace.pngOkay, but if you somehow fuck this up and it ends up costing me the badge and HM I will have SandNigger stone you.

22.PNG

sargonFace.pngHell no! Also unless you are a patron I really don't have time for your inane faggotry.

So we head into Kiki's room.
23.PNG


Incidentally, this young Trainer also came to me asking for that.KikiFace.png
I do not suppose that is coincidence?
VictoriaFace.pngNo, not at all. This is Sargon, a very good friend of mine.
We're working to save them together!

sargonFace.pngFuck no, I'm not your friend, but we are working together to save those schiz... I mean poor orphans.

Truly, I am moved by your plight. However...KikiFace.png
As you well know, Victoria, I can only award that Machine to a graduating student of our Academy.
One must attain inner strength before acquiring worldly strength.
And to disregard that procedure is to disrespect every student who has followed it before.

SargonEvil.png
What kind of bullshite excuse is that? So you'd rather let a bunch of kids die than bend your retarded rules? Are you autistic or just a gigantic cunt? Also is it the light in here or are you fucking glowing?

VictoriaFace.pngThen, Sensei, I wish to apply for graduation.

sargonFace.pngWow, thats probably the smartest thing you've ever done... I still don't like you tho.

So you will.KikiFace.png
I suspected you might finally ask.
This may be best, given my worsening condition.
VictoriaFace.pngSensei...

But never mind that.KikiFace.png
We mustn't let inner turmoil complicate outside affairs.
Victoria, were you successful in your challenge of the Reborn League, as I had asked of you?
VictoriaFace.png I admit, Sensei, I was not.
So much was going on that I had other priorities.


I see. KikiFace.png
1619660574769.png
Sorry couldn't resist making this dumb joke...

That is unfortunate, being that the Machine requires a certain Badge.KikiFace.png

SargonEvil.pngOh fuck me... how many more excuses are you gonna...

And how about yourself, Sargon?KikiFace.png
VictoriaFace.pngSargon can do it! Xe has lots of Badges already, one more won't be a problem!

So far this is the only time in the game where the characters take into a count the player's selected gender.
24.PNG

As you can see Victoria will use the correct pronouns, in every other instance (as of writing this) the character will always use "They/Them" to refer to the player regardless of gender, this is probably lazyness on part of the developers.

SargonSmile.pngHell yeah! if you want someone with badges I'm your girl... guy... err person? Whaetever, I can do it.


So you intended to pass off the Machine to an outsider regardless.KikiFace.png
I suppose it cannot be helped, but knowing that that is your intention, I must test Sargon as well.
Victoria, you will stay here and test for graduation.
Sargon, your challenge lies elsewhere.

sargonFace.pngJust tell me who's arse I need to kick and I'll beat them before you can say "Not today CIA".


As you should know, Apophyll lies in the shadow of one Pyrous Mountain-- a volcanic mountain.KikiFace.png
After all, it is the ash therefrom that grants the beach its grey hues.
Atop Pyrous Mountain is one of my newest, though finest, students.
VictoriaFace.pngThat's-- Oh, goodness!
Have faith in your companion, Victoria.KikiFace.png
Climb the mountain.
Find my student.
Challenge him.
If you are successful, you may have the Machine.
Good luck.
sargonFace.pngThats all you needed to say, I'll be back soon.
25.PNG

And off we go.
Now since Poochie was honsetly not that useful I'm gonna box him and add this little guy to the team instead:
26.PNG

shoutout to @ChucklesTheJester for naming him.
27.PNG

28.PNG

sargonFace.pngWhat do you want now?

Sorry, I just wanted to wish you good luck.VictoriaFace.png
sargonFace.pngOh, thanks I guess.


The student Kiki is talking about, his name is Cal. VictoriaFace.png
SargonPhone.pngI Don't care...

VictoriaFace.png
He was actually once the Fire-type Leader for the Reborn League,
but he retired and came here after something bad happened.
Anyway, he's really strong.
And sort of cute-- I mean...
I did not just say that.
Oh, yes!
In order to get very far into Pyrous Mountain, you may have to drain the lava from the upper floors.
If you look, there should be choke points in between the levels, and sometimes they get clogged up.
Just give the right one a good smash to clear it and you'll be good to go!
Say hi to Cal for me, please?
And don't worry about my test.
I AM the top student of Apophyll Academy for a reason.

Sargon meanwhile was busy trying to contact someone whose dealt with this faggotry first hand.

convo.png

@Polyboros2 Let me know if you want me to edit Newfag's dialogue.
Armed with the knowledge on how to deal with Kiki's bullshit, Sargon marches on towards Pyrorus mountain.


29.PNG

Will Newfag's advice work? Or has the CIA upgraded their glow niggers? Will we finally get to do some pokyman battles next update instead of listening to self-inserts rambling? Find out next Time on Pokémon Reborn!!!!
 

Attachments

  • convo.png
    convo.png
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Last edited:

EnemyStand

kiwifarms.net
Episode 17: The Island Part 1: They glow in the dark.

Welcome back to more Pokymen! Last episode Sargon decided xe is gonna defeat all the gym's kick the elite four's ass, become the new champion and make Reborn great again! Also something about some schizo kids.
View attachment 2126601
Sargon disembarks at Apophyll beach, curiously enough you can sail back and forth between here and the city with no consecuense, despite you know the boat eating acid.
View attachment 2126603
This poor fisherman still has hope he will one day catch something other than a grimer in the acid lake.
View attachment 2126606
Some of the students at the academy are hostile.
View attachment 2126609
Sargon expected the fighting type gym leader's students to be martial arts practicioners, or at least be inspired by Xiaolin Monks, instead zhe finds a bunch of hippies.
View attachment 2126621
I kinda like Riolu and its evolution, but this one falls down easily.
View attachment 2126628
The academy itself has a weaboo err Japanese aesthetic, the tileset looks quite nice imo.
View attachment 2126632
Everybody here is constantly sucking Kiki's dick.
View attachment 2126635
This guy serves as a Poke Mart so I don't have to go back and forth to the city, except I do since he doesn't sell Ice Cream. Or the Revive Cottons.
View attachment 2126639
In one of the rooms we find this guy, he is the one who tells you what type your pokémon's secret power is.
The pokémon Daycare is on the other side of town, close to where we battled our first Pulse Tangrowth, so if I was breeding for perfect IVs and shit I would have to run back and forth to know if I got the pokémon I wanted.
View attachment 2126646
This guy pushed himself to hard at the gym and now wants some protein.
View attachment 2126648: Sorry but my pokémon ate all the Protein I had, they did get some sick gains tho.
View attachment 2126660
View attachment 2126648: "Faito"? Seems you weren't bullied enough as a kid, allow me to fix that mistake.
View attachment 2126662
Sheeple takes quick care of the Poliwhirl with a Discharge.
View attachment 2126674
View attachment 2126648:Only losers say that, but at least you learned to talk like a normal human being.

Meanwhile in a faraway region, some kid named MC-Kun felt a disturbance in the force after Sargon's comment.
View attachment 2126681
View attachment 2126648:Then tell me where she went!
Oh, you're looking for her?View attachment 2126707
View attachment 2126648No, I'm just making conversation, of course I'm looking for her you daft cunt!

Hm, well, she went down to teach a class in the Training Grounds. View attachment 2126707
You could probably try and catch her after the lecture.
They're basically right out the front door; can't miss them.
And off we go.
View attachment 2126721
View attachment 2126648:Fuck no! I'm here to kick your arse!

Just a vistor then? That's perfectly fine.View attachment 2126737
View attachment 2126648: I have some important... are you glowing?

Please, have a seat.View attachment 2126737
View attachment 2126745:but I need... oh Red has posted something on Facebook, give me a sec.
View attachment 2126748
Sargon goes back to tweet while Kiki starts rambling.
We will be reviewing the final principle for this curriculum, the art of void.View attachment 2126737
Void is the acknowledgement of that which cannot be known.
It is the understanding that all ideas are in themselves fallible.
For that reason, this principle cannot be taught; only considered.
Many people believe that some things are "right" and "correct" and others are not.
But these are not the laws of the world.
When examining these ideas objectively, one finds that they are in themselves a deviance from the broader sense of existence.
Concepts such as "virtues" or "evil" must not be given way to exist, for this is not the true void.
By perceiving that which exists, learn to perceive that which does not.
All things, even this instruction, must be questioned.
That will be all for today. Thank you.

Sargon meamwhile is busy on social media. You see Red is one of the very few trainers Sargon actually respects, and xe will white knight any time some dang dirty troll tries to get to him.
View attachment 2127015
This post ended in an autistic slap fight between Ame, Amanda and Proff. Stump each arguing that their respective leagues are "the hardest ever". Also Blue ended up blocking Sargon after xe started reeeeing at him for his comment.
I wanted this to be a tweet comment chain instead of a Facebook post but the gayass page I use to make the fake tweets doesn't allow comments, and the page I found that does allow comments for some reason requires every "reply" to have a picture and it looks gay. Anyway I still had more fun doing this stupid Facebook post than playing this part of the game.
View attachment 2127047
Meanwhile Kiki has been standing there patiently waiting for Sargon to stop sperging on social media.
View attachment 2127087
Was there something you required me for?View attachment 2126737
View attachment 2127091Yes, I need the Strength HM, pretty please?

Due to one of xer comments being liked by Red, Sargon is in an unusually good mood.

It is in my possession.View attachment 2126737
However, it is only typically awarded to graduating students of the Academy.
View attachment 2127091Oh, that sucks, is there any chance you could make an exception?

View attachment 2126737
I must be returning now, but please come speak to me in my room at the Academy. We will see what
can be done.
View attachment 2127091Of course, I'll see you there.

And she leaves, while Sargon continiues to sperg on social media for a few hours more.
View attachment 2127104
Here is the TM for Focus Blast but we need Rock Climb to get it and we won't get Rock Climb until very late into the game. Well let's go talk to Kiki.
View attachment 2127110
Back at the academy we run into Victoria
View attachment 2126648Ugh, and this day was going great...

I finally caught up to you!View attachment 2127118
View attachment 2127122

Yes, I was going to, but so many other important things have been happening.View attachment 2127118
We have to speak to Kiki at once. Is she in her room?
View attachment 2126707STUDENT: I think I just saw her come in.
Okay, good. View attachment 2127118
I'm going ahead.
View attachment 2126648Okay, but if you somehow fuck this up and it ends up costing me the badge and HM I will have SandNigger stone you.

View attachment 2127138
View attachment 2126648Hell no! Also unless you are a patron I really don't have time for your inane faggotry.

So we head into Kiki's room.
View attachment 2127144

Incidentally, this young Trainer also came to me asking for that.View attachment 2126737
I do not suppose that is coincidence?
View attachment 2127118No, not at all. This is Sargon, a very good friend of mine.
We're working to save them together!

View attachment 2126648Fuck no, I'm not your friend, but we are working together to save those schiz... I mean poor orphans.

Truly, I am moved by your plight. However...View attachment 2126737
As you well know, Victoria, I can only award that Machine to a graduating student of our Academy.
One must attain inner strength before acquiring worldly strength.
And to disregard that procedure is to disrespect every student who has followed it before.

View attachment 2127157What kind of bullshite excuse is that? So you'd rather let a bunch of kids die than bend your retarded rules? Are you autistic or just a gigantic cunt? Also is it the light in here or are you fucking glowing?

View attachment 2127118Then, Sensei, I wish to apply for graduation.

View attachment 2126648Wow, thats probably the smartest thing you've ever done... I still don't like you tho.

So you will.View attachment 2126737
I suspected you might finally ask.
This may be best, given my worsening condition.
View attachment 2127118Sensei...

But never mind that.View attachment 2126737
We mustn't let inner turmoil complicate outside affairs.
Victoria, were you successful in your challenge of the Reborn League, as I had asked of you?
View attachment 2127118 I admit, Sensei, I was not.
So much was going on that I had other priorities.


View attachment 2127172Sorry couldn't resist making this dumb joke...

That is unfortunate, being that the Machine requires a certain Badge.View attachment 2126737

View attachment 2127157Oh fuck me... how many more excuses are you gonna...

And how about yourself, Sargon?View attachment 2126737
View attachment 2127118Sargon can do it! Xe has lots of Badges already, one more won't be a problem!

So far this is the only time in the game where the characters take into a count the player's selected gender.
View attachment 2127184
As you can see Victoria will use the correct pronouns, in every other instance (as of writing this) the character will always use "They/Them" to refer to the player regardless of gender, this is probably lazyness on part of the developers.

View attachment 2127091Hell yeah! if you want someone with badges I'm your girl... guy... err person? Whaetever, I can do it.


So you intended to pass off the Machine to an outsider regardless.View attachment 2126737
I suppose it cannot be helped, but knowing that that is your intention, I must test Sargon as well.
Victoria, you will stay here and test for graduation.
Sargon, your challenge lies elsewhere.

View attachment 2126648Just tell me who's arse I need to kick and I'll beat them before you can say "Not today CIA".


As you should know, Apophyll lies in the shadow of one Pyrous Mountain-- a volcanic mountain.View attachment 2126737
After all, it is the ash therefrom that grants the beach its grey hues.
Atop Pyrous Mountain is one of my newest, though finest, students.
View attachment 2127118That's-- Oh, goodness!
Have faith in your companion, Victoria.View attachment 2126737
Climb the mountain.
Find my student.
Challenge him.
If you are successful, you may have the Machine.
Good luck.
View attachment 2126648Thats all you needed to say, I'll be back soon.
View attachment 2127216
And off we go.
Now since Poochie was honsetly not that useful I'm gonna box him and add this little guy to the team instead:
View attachment 2127280
shoutout to @ChucklesTheJester for naming him.
View attachment 2127285
View attachment 2127291
View attachment 2126648What do you want now?

Sorry, I just wanted to wish you good luck.View attachment 2127118
View attachment 2126648Oh, thanks I guess.


The student Kiki is talking about, his name is Cal. View attachment 2127118
View attachment 2126745I Don't care...

View attachment 2127118
He was actually once the Fire-type Leader for the Reborn League,
but he retired and came here after something bad happened.
Anyway, he's really strong.
And sort of cute-- I mean...
I did not just say that.
Oh, yes!
In order to get very far into Pyrous Mountain, you may have to drain the lava from the upper floors.
If you look, there should be choke points in between the levels, and sometimes they get clogged up.
Just give the right one a good smash to clear it and you'll be good to go!
Say hi to Cal for me, please?
And don't worry about my test.
I AM the top student of Apophyll Academy for a reason.

Sargon meanwhile was busy trying to contact someone whose dealt with this faggotry first hand.

View attachment 2127392
@Polyboros2 Let me know if you want me to edit Newfag's dialogue.
Armed with the knowledge on how to deal with Kiki's bullshit, Sargon marches on towards Pyrorus mountain.


View attachment 2127397
Will Newfag's advice work? Or has the CIA upgraded their glow niggers? Will we finally get to do some pokyman battles next update instead of listening to self-inserts rambling? Find out next Time on Pokémon Reborn!!!!
Ah, Sped's first cameo. They grow up so fast.
 

EnemyStand

kiwifarms.net
More glowing? My god they are everywhere, every region. Be it trainer, pokemon, gym leader. You can't trust anyone not to be one.
As funny as that is, her ability to bullshit her way into being a guru by dropping that weak Philosophy 101 shit like it was the most profound thing ever was the really impressive part of her character. You can tell whoever wrote for her fancied herself a philosopher without any actual understanding of what philosophy or morality actually is all about. Bootleg Spock shit going on...at least Spock usually had a point to his callousness. Wonder what special theme of bullshit her leader battle is going to drop on you.
 

ChucklesTheJester

The Worst Pokemon Trainer Around
kiwifarms.net
Oh Arceus fucking damn it.

I went back to look at the shade update, as it was the least bullshit gym leader Sargon had to fight, and ironically most likeable gym leader. That's when I noticed something, among the stupid edgy death animations.

47.gif

That's Straight up kiki's sprite. I really hope this means shade created this illusion because he hates the rest of the gyms leaders as well. :story:
 

EnemyStand

kiwifarms.net
Oh Arceus fucking damn it.

I went back to look at the shade update, as it was the least bullshit gym leader Sargon had to fight, and ironically most likeable gym leader. That's when I noticed something, among the stupid edgy death animations.

View attachment 2127962
That's Straight up kiki's sprite. I really hope this means shade created this illusion because he hates the rest of the gyms leaders as well. :story:
Oh Arceus, not the "was really dead all along and achieved enlightenment through that" trope.
 
Last edited:

Mary the Goldsmith

kiwifarms.net
As funny as that is, her ability to bullshit her way into being a guru by dropping that weak Philosophy 101 shit like it was the most profound thing ever was the really impressive part of her character. You can tell whoever wrote for her fancied herself a philosopher without any actual understanding of what philosophy or morality actually is all about. Bootleg Spock shit going on...at least Spock usually had a point to his callousness. Wonder what special theme of bullshit her leader battle is going to drop on you.
Completely agree, her whole lecture sounds pretentious as hell, I would have preferred if they just ripped off Bruce Lee's "be like water" speech instead, it would fit with the fighting type gym leader and the fact that they are on an island imo.
I went back to look at the shade update, as it was the least bullshit gym leader Sargon had to fight, and ironically most likeable gym leader.
I find it hilarious that the gym leader that is meant to be "le terryfing eldrtich horror" is actually the most likeable.

EDIT: I checked on the official Reborn page and the next update to the game is gonna include the legendary pokémon.
in canon legendary encounters, usually you just trip and fall into legendaries after they've randomly decided to roost somewhere vaguely out of the way.
if you're lucky there might be a whole dungeon before them.
or if you're playing XY, maybe they'll just be sitting there in a cave that clearly always existed for no other purpose than except to specifically serve as their roost until the region's favorite ten year old traipses along and use said legendary for baseball pitching practice.

anyway, this isn't canon. this is reborn,
and some people would argue that i hate you all and want to see you suffer. *
* this is not true. i love all of you in varying degrees and the less you think it applies to you the more it's true. but don't be weird about it, ok?
1619736000269.png

Seems like each legendary is gonna be some epic boss battle, before you can catch them, I can't wait to get my ass kicked over and over Catch 'em all
 

EnemyStand

kiwifarms.net
EDIT: I checked on the official Reborn page and the next update to the game is gonna include the legendary pokémon.

View attachment 2129516
Seems like each legendary is gonna be some epic boss battle, before you can catch them, I can't wait to get my ass kicked over and over Catch 'em all
See, I like this idea. Legendaries should be a very difficult boss fight, not just a special encounter where they act like literally every other Pokemon in the game. Now, the implementation will be what wrecks it if they implement it poorly. Yes, those odds are 2:1 but if Shade's any indication occasionally the blind squirrels developing this game finds a nut or two.

Completely agree, her whole lecture sounds pretentious as hell, I would have preferred if they just ripped off Bruce Lee's "be like water" speech instead, it would fit with the fighting type gym leader and the fact that they are on an island imo.
Hell, having her recite "Lesson #1" from Mulan 2 would have been a better choice. Honestly, with a little research that could have been a really cool area. Of course, it's just American pseudointellectualism with a Japanese overlay. Also, why do her students all call her by her first name but Victoria only calls her sensei? It's kind of jarring. Unless they're trying to make a point about slow-in-the-mind weebs?
 

Genichiro

wanna meet my party bug ?
kiwifarms.net
The sludge from the lake must have seeped into reborn's water supply, causing all sorts of mental,physical and supernatural illnesses, the least is snowflake rambling and trying to delay Sargon's destiny.

Sped can come over and still be beloved Sped and not be among the enlightened dregs of Reborn society.
 

Fictional Character

kiwifarms.net
Not just being contrary, but is that the case or could it have been life getting in the way?

That's possible, but Desolation in particular is just unpleasant to get through. I'll spoiler things in case the LP continues, but here's some of the things that were terrible about it:

1. Before you even get to the first town and get more than your basic set of 5 free pokéballs, you have to fight a trainer who has Skill Link Minccino with Tail Slap (at level 16, but Tail Slap is a TM move in Gen 8 and it's in Reborn-verse where there's reverse candies, so it's justified if still dicky).
2. You get extremely little money: beating a trainer gives at best 100-200 cash for the longest time. You can barely afford pokéballs, much less healing items. You get access to great balls fast, but that's just more expenses. It's so bad that I'd consider failing to catch a pokémon the first try a reason to reset.
3. There is a trainer you can battle repeatedly for xp, but they give no money.
4. The first gym is fire-type at a point in game where most of what you can catch are bugs and plants. You can get a total of two water (plus one starter choice) and one ground pokémon before that and of course the gym leader has a Magby with thunder punch and a Fletchinder to ruin their day. I haven't checked, but I assume all gym leaders have the usual array of perfect IVs and optimized EVs, but that's a minor thing, really.
5. The dungeons are extremely long and can easily take hours to clear, even when using fastforward. Buying repels is out of the question, since you can't spare that much money. What's worse is that you're required to go back into them to do quests for the Ranger's Guild. (One of Desolation's additions. It is the best source of money, since some of their quests do give you over a thousand cash.)
6. The second gym is a flying-type and it goes all out unlike the flying gym in Gold/Silver. It takes place on the only new terrain Desolation has. Unlike Reborn and its ton of effects most of which aren't important, but there's some that can turn the battle if used cleverly, this terrain has only two effects: Flying moves get a 30% boost and Rock moves get 50% penalty. Since Rock-type is out of the picture, your advantage options are limited to electric and ice. The only Ice-type you can get is a starter. There's only one electric type you can catch and you can trade for an Elekid (if you catch a rare encounter). Since it's a flying gym and flying is a natural secondary type, the gym leader has an array of types to wreck your day.
7. The game has an extremely annoying habit of throwing rival-type battles against trainers with full optimized teams at you at the very end of a dungeon where you have to backtrack if you want to change your team. The fifth time it happened, I quit the game and haven't played since.

Basically, the issue with Reborn-likes is that Reborn sets itself a design goal (make a challenging Pokémon game that lets you catch all the Pokémon) that's impossible to attain without the gameplay becoming tedious at some point. Reborn does about as well as possible and it mostly works, but all Reborn-likes try to be more Reborn than Reborn.
 

ChucklesTheJester

The Worst Pokemon Trainer Around
kiwifarms.net
That's possible, but Desolation in particular is just unpleasant to get through. I'll spoiler things in case the LP continues, but here's some of the things that were terrible about it:

1. Before you even get to the first town and get more than your basic set of 5 free pokéballs, you have to fight a trainer who has Skill Link Minccino with Tail Slap (at level 16, but Tail Slap is a TM move in Gen 8 and it's in Reborn-verse where there's reverse candies, so it's justified if still dicky).
2. You get extremely little money: beating a trainer gives at best 100-200 cash for the longest time. You can barely afford pokéballs, much less healing items. You get access to great balls fast, but that's just more expenses. It's so bad that I'd consider failing to catch a pokémon the first try a reason to reset.
3. There is a trainer you can battle repeatedly for xp, but they give no money.
4. The first gym is fire-type at a point in game where most of what you can catch are bugs and plants. You can get a total of two water (plus one starter choice) and one ground pokémon before that and of course the gym leader has a Magby with thunder punch and a Fletchinder to ruin their day. I haven't checked, but I assume all gym leaders have the usual array of perfect IVs and optimized EVs, but that's a minor thing, really.
5. The dungeons are extremely long and can easily take hours to clear, even when using fastforward. Buying repels is out of the question, since you can't spare that much money. What's worse is that you're required to go back into them to do quests for the Ranger's Guild. (One of Desolation's additions. It is the best source of money, since some of their quests do give you over a thousand cash.)
6. The second gym is a flying-type and it goes all out unlike the flying gym in Gold/Silver. It takes place on the only new terrain Desolation has. Unlike Reborn and its ton of effects most of which aren't important, but there's some that can turn the battle if used cleverly, this terrain has only two effects: Flying moves get a 30% boost and Rock moves get 50% penalty. Since Rock-type is out of the picture, your advantage options are limited to electric and ice. The only Ice-type you can get is a starter. There's only one electric type you can catch and you can trade for an Elekid (if you catch a rare encounter). Since it's a flying gym and flying is a natural secondary type, the gym leader has an array of types to wreck your day.
7. The game has an extremely annoying habit of throwing rival-type battles against trainers with full optimized teams at you at the very end of a dungeon where you have to backtrack if you want to change your team. The fifth time it happened, I quit the game and haven't played since.

Basically, the issue with Reborn-likes is that Reborn sets itself a design goal (make a challenging Pokémon game that lets you catch all the Pokémon) that's impossible to attain without the gameplay becoming tedious at some point. Reborn does about as well as possible and it mostly works, but all Reborn-likes try to be more Reborn than Reborn.
Do they also try to have more unlikeable gym leader OC's, doing flips, and plot that could play out with out you being there, and still end up the same (I.E. The reason sargon is on twitter 24/7).
 

Fictional Character

kiwifarms.net
Do they also try to have more unlikeable gym leader OC's, doing flips, and plot that could play out with out you being there, and still end up the same (I.E. The reason sargon is on twitter 24/7).
From what I gleaned from the wiki, it seems the player has a little more importance to the plot, but I never got to that part. There was one seemingly big choice I could make and it had some effect on the dialogue, but not on how things played out. The gym leaders I saw were really bland and didn't have that much personality (one is a jerk, one is overconfident retard, one is ???) but also I didn't get that far into the game. (I have 61 hours on my save, but that's with fast forward, so it's more like 15, I guess.)
 

Mary the Goldsmith

kiwifarms.net
Episode 18: The island Part 2: MoralFagging

Who's ready for more pokeyman?
1.PNG

Our gender non conforming hero has reached Pyrous mountain to kick ass and feed rare candies to xer team, and xe is all out of rare candies.
2.PNG

There are wild Numel in here, SandNigger says hi to her kin by beating them up.
3.PNG

As Victoria mentioned in the previous episode, the main gimmick of this place is to break this rocks so we can drain the lava and proceed, but some of these rocks have wild encounters.
4.PNG

So far all the rock smash encounters seem to be Macargo, so I catch one and name it ImightCave
5.PNG

You can fish in the lava, I was really excited because I had read that you can fish Charmander in here, but then I realized they only appear if you use a Super Rod, and I only have the shitty Old Rod....
6.PNG

Sargon continiues to drain the lava by smashing rocks, since the extreme heat is messing with xer phone preventing them from tweeting, Sargon moves trough this area as fast as possible.
7.PNG

But now that the lava is gone we can move forward.
8.PNG

I've always wondered are Sawk wearing clothes? if so do they themselves make the clothes or do they steal them or something? or is that their skin made to imitate a Karate gi?
9.PNG

We eventually reach the top, now let's go kick Cal's ass.
10.PNG

The view from up here is quite nice.
11.PNG

sargonFace.png
:Oi cunt, I'm here to kick your arse!

......
CalFace.png


sargonFace.png




Don't you dare try to imitate Red, your nowhere near as cool or badass as he is!

.........CalFace.png
SargonEvil.png
YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO TURN AROUND AND TALK TO ME BEFORE I SPARTAN KICK YOU OFF THIS MOUNTAIN!

CAL: ...Hi.CalFace.png
Can I help you?
sargonFace.pngHi, I'm Sargon, Kiki sent me here to kick your arse.

Kiki sent you here too, huh? CalFace.png
To battle me?
I haven't had a serious battle since I resigned as Gym Leader.
And even then, I was misguided.
I had let anger drive and control me.
That's why I came here: To learn to let go of the rage I felt towards my brother.
SargonPhone.png
I don't give a fu... hey I didn't know Dawn had a Twitter, let's follow her.

Everything I'd ever done was just to try and prove myself better than him.CalFace.png
You're challenging the Reborn League now, correct?
SargonPhone.pngYep...
Have you met a Leader named Shelly?CalFace.png
SargonPhone.pngUh huh, sure...

...So you have. CalFace.png
How is she?
Timid, right?
That might have been my fault.
I used to keep her around.
Watch over her.
SargonPhone.pnguh huh, wait it's your fault she is so fucking timid? also what do you mean "keep her around"? Nevermind, some cunt named Tumblrita is bitching on Twitter about trans rights.


She and I connected on some level.CalFace.png
We were both always scorned by our brothers, and our families.
Blake... He always got the attention.
He got all the praise for everything, and then anything I ever did was just a sloppy second.
Back then I was too full of rage to see that he was the source of my anger.
But Shelly understood.
What she didn't understand was that my anger wasn't directed, like hers, towards trying to earn his
love.
She said something backwards, and it set me off.
I reacted terribly and--
I regret hurting her more than anything else.

SargonPhone.pngTo be fair, wanting to punch Shelly is a perfectly normal reaction to being around her.

And yet, because of it, I was finally able to change.CalFace.png
Look at me, just rambling on.
Sorry.
I suppose being assigned to meditate alone for days on end has that effect on people.
I can see clearly now, but the source of my energy is exhausted.
Formerly rage, and now, what do I have?
Perhaps I'll stop talking and find out in a battle with you.
sargonFace.pngFucking finally, bring it on faggot!
12.PNG

This guy's hair color looks weird.
13.PNG

I'm 80% sure his clothes are ripped straight from an anime just with a different color, anyway cue Cal's battle music.
14.PNG

He leads with a Barbaracle, who dies to a single Giga Drain, enjoy your x4 weakness to grass faggot.
15.PNG

Next up is Charizard, and I'm still salty I can't fish one yet, anyway it dies to a single Rock Slide, enjoy your x4 weakness to Rock faggot!
16.PNG

Next up is typlosion, it begins charging a Solar Beam, No Suit does a lot of damage with Mud Bomb but fails to kill it and dies in the next turn to the Solar Beam.

Enjoy your x4 weakness to Grass FaggotCalFace.png
sargonFace.pngFuck you that line only sounds cool when I say it.
17.PNG

Its up to SandNigger to avenge her brother in arms, Cal being the fag he is immediately heals with a Hyper Potion, but its no use since SandNigger just one shots Typlosion with Earth Power.
18.PNG

I use the good 'ole Psywave/Future Sight combo, while the Hakamo-o uses Sky Uppercut, it does a fair deal of damage, I use Iron Defense to better tank his attacks, before the Future Sight lands and defeats it.
19.PNG

Next up is this thing, and I don't really have a counter for it. I revive No Suit while NazisRpref dies to a terrain enhanced Flamethrower.
20.PNG

I send SandNigger, she was originally going to serve as a distraction while I healed No Suit, but decided to attack with Rock Slide, and since it did a fair amount of damage and the Turtonator's Dragon Pulse didn't do that much damage I decided to keep attacking. I used Earth Power in the next turn and defeated it, but SandNigger was left badly hurt from a second Dragon Pulse.
21.PNG

sargonFace.pngOf course you feel empty retard, you're probably the easiest battle I've had in a while.

22.PNG

I heal SandNigger and tank a terrain enhanced Lava Plume from the Magmortar, the attack causes the terrain to combust and become a Burning terrain, we take a second Terrain enhanced Lava Plume, leaving us in the red, while we leave Magmortar in yellow with Earth Power. I heal SandNigger up, while Cal does the same.
23.PNG

But it falls to two more Earth Powers.
24.PNG

sargonFace.pngYeah whatever, loser.

Perhaps it's for the best. CalFace.png
I only ever started training Fire-types to beat my brother's Ice.
How stupid of me.
sargonFace.pngWhy do you insist on telling me about your family drama? I don't care.

In any case, you can go and tell Kiki that you defeated me.CalFace.png
I'll be staying up here.
I've got things to finish.
Er, meditation, that is.
sargonFace.pngAre you gonna wank it? fucking degenerate.

And so we run all the way back to Kiki's room.
25.PNG


VictoriaFace.pngyou're going to hurt yourself!

No.
KikiFace.png

Willpower... is a muscle.
I will... not let... mine slip... away.
I have always said: One must fight hard to defeat the chaos inside.
This is my chaos.
Please allow me to fight it.
sargonFace.pngI'm back bitches!

Oh, Sargon. You've returned.KikiFace.png
Please pay no regard to the weakness you just witnessed.
I'm perfectly fine. I was only... winded.
SargonSmile.png
Yeah I don't ca... I mean, of course Sensei.

VictoriaFace.pngHow was Cal?
Er, I mean, were you able to beat him?


SargonSmile.pngHe's fine, and yes I did beat him.

So you did. I see.KikiFace.png
Victoria, too, has already been informed of everything she must do.
That means there is only one thing left to do.
Sargon, you will face me in an official Reborn League match.
If you win, you will have your Badge, and more importantly, your Machine.
I will be waiting in the courtyard.

SargonSmile.pngI understand, thank you Sensei, for everything you've done for me, I really admire you.

Ugh--KikiFace.png
SargonSmile.pngHoly hell this whole "reverse the order" actually works... err I mean are you okay Sensei?

...Apologies. KikiFace.png
I am all right.
SargonSmile.pngThank goodness, I look forward to our battle and may the best trainer win.

So we go to prepre for our bat...
26.PNG


sargonFace.pngUgh, what do you want now?

I have to tell you something.VictoriaFace.png
When you were gone, Kiki didn't give me the graduation exam at all.
sargonFace.pngShe didn't? She's got the be the single most incompetent gym leader/Academy Headmaster I've met, and I've met my fair shair of incompetent retards in this region, in fact I'm looking at one right now...

Instead she just showed me how to run things around the Academy.VictoriaFace.png
Gave me an overview on policies, and...
...Sargon, Kiki is dying.
She's been sick for months, but she tries her best not to let it show.
Apparently there's no cure. And...
I think she intends for me to take over when she...
Never mind, but, Sargon!
The point is, I don't feel good about you fighting her like this!

sargonFace.pngI'm not falling for this shite again, last time you tried to make me feel sorry for a gym leader she kicked my arse two times.

We'll convince her to give us the Machine some other way...VictoriaFace.png
sargonFace.pngLook, if this where some other person in another region I would say "okay, let's try to convince her" but this is fucking Kiki we are talking about, that cunt would rather die than give me the HM without going trough all her bullshite. So fuck you, I'm fighting her.

But battling takes so much of a toll on her, I just can't let you do it.VictoriaFace.png
sargonFace.pngFor fuck's sake Victoria! There's several lives at stake! Kids, damn it! They're getting tortured by a sadistic doctor who gets off on zapping children, if I don't get the sodding HM now they are gonna die! Sure they're a bunch of schizos but still if they die I won't be able to beat them up and get their gym badges...

I'll stop you myself if I have to!VictoriaFace.png
If you can't beat me, there's no reason at all that you should even try to fight Kiki!​

SargonEvil.png*In a perfect imitation of Sephiroth's voice* Come and try.

27.PNG

And so this bitch once again tries to cuck Sargon from xer badge, let's just get this over with, cue the battle theme.
28.PNG

Time for out little bat to show what he can do, I lead with Air Cutter and....... Rebornbat gets one shotted by Body Slam...
29.PNG

Depends On succeeds in landing Toxic before getting One Shotted by a crit Payback.
30.PNG

SandNigger is next, she tanks a Body Slam and does a lot of damage with Lava Plume, this coupled with the poison leaves the bear almost at red health, and a second Lava Plume seals the deal.
31.PNG

It uses Fake Out on the first turn, I then use Future Sight and spam Iron Defense since this things Drain Punch does some good damage. Eventually the Future Sight lands and takes it out.
32.PNG

The electric mouse dies to a couple of Mud Bombs, it did manage to land a Nasty Plot enhanced Psychic, and did a lot of damage.
33.PNG

I immediately heal NazisRpref, this thing does a lot of damage with Night Slash, I use Future Sight, and then spam Iron Defense and Ice Cream to survive, in fact I run out of Ice Cream, and barely manage to kill it.
34.PNG

NazisRpref sacrifices his life so I can slip No Suit my sole Super Potion I had.
35.PNG

Its Darkest Lariat does a lot of damage, and our Muddy Water fails to kill it
36.PNG

in the next turn it misses its attack and we finish it off with a Water Pledge.
37.PNG

...It's for the kids, right?VictoriaFace.png
They're more important than she is, right?
sargonFace.pngYes

I'll just go.VictoriaFace.png
38.PNG

And we are now ready to challenge Kiki, but first we need to do some grinding, you see I did a couple of Test Runs and Kiki has three pokémon capable of sweeping my entire team if the RNG favors her, for example her Hitmonlee outspeeds everything I have and spams High Jump Kick, which can one shot everything in my team, and in the test runs it never once missed.
So off we go to do some grinding, tune in next time to see the epic battle.
 

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