Postman Pat -

[Null's Personal Cockwarmer]

When I was little, like 17 or so, I was madly in love with Postman Pat. His nose was like a great big cock that my snizz just hungered for. Whenever he rubbed his pussy I wished it was my pussy.

For years I wanted to be a postman until I was 27 and found out Postman Pat wasn't real, but a character portrayed by acclaimed classically trained actor Wesley Snipes. I was devastated and did not shit right for a week. Regrettably i set fire to the Postman Pat friction van I used to rub the shaft of my pussy with for years.

I loved that little van, it is now a collectors item thats worth 478 rupees on ebay. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but its out there now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that sniffing glue and chain smoking might hurt your baby when you're pregnant.

Kony 2012.

 

[champthom]

Never watched the show or anything, but I've seen the intro and I sometimes think about it - "IS IT A LETTER? IS IT A PARCEL?," so delightfully British.

I needed a new messenger bag to haul my RPG stuff, and I was going to go with something from a military surplus site and they had some surplus Royal Post mailbags, like Postman Pat would use. I was tempted to get one but people might think it was weird that I was carrying around a mailbag, so I just went with a Bag of Holding messenger bag (which is really nice, BTW).

 

[Null's Personal Cockwarmer]

Never watched the show or anything, but I've seen the intro and I sometimes think about it - "IS IT A LETTER? IS IT A PARCEL?," so delightfully British.

I needed a new messenger bag to haul my RPG stuff, and I was going to go with something from a military surplus site and they had some surplus Royal Post mailbags, like Postman Pat would use. I was tempted to get one but people might think it was weird that I was carrying around a mailbag, so I just went with a Bag of Holding messenger bag (which is really nice, BTW).

No offense but I would literally rape the everlasting shit out of someone cosplaying as Postman Pat.

Is that racist?

 

[Aquinas]

No offense but I would literally rape the everlasting shit out of someone cosplaying as Postman Pat.

Is that racist?

Are you black?

 

[Null's Personal Cockwarmer]

Are you black?

I am blacker than nighttime in Nigeria.

 

[Aquinas]

I am blacker than nighttime in Nigeria.

Then no, because rape is a part of black culture and you cant appropriate your own culture.
Wherever you go, you must rape.

 

[Null's Personal Cockwarmer]

Then no, because rape is a part of black culture and you cant appropriate your own culture.
Wherever you go, you must rape.

I'm glad you say that because the thought of some white cracker dressing up like Postman Pat makes my pussy burn hotter than the fires of Hades.

 

[Apocalypso]

(sees Chris dressed as PP)

Postman Fat
Postman Fat
Postman Fat ate his black and white cat
All the guff is flying
The audience is crying
Chris picks up all the girls to shag in his van

 

[Coolio55]

DISGUSTING HORRIBLE SHOW.

POSTDELIVERER PAT IS YET ANOTHER PATRIARCHAL INSTITUTION STOPPING WOMEN FROM BECOMING POSTDELIVERERS

 

[Big Nasty]

When I was a kid we used to sing

Postman Pat
Postman Pat
Takes a shit on a lady's hat.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

When I was a kid we used to sing

Postman Pat
Postman Pat
Takes a shit on a lady's hat.

We sang,

Postman Pat, Postman Pat,
Postman Pat ran over his cat.
Blood and guts went flying,
Postman Pat was crying,
“Oh what a silly man I am!”

Alternatively:
Postman Pat, Postman Pat
Postman Pat and his black-and-white cat.
Flying over Venus,
Drinking from his penis,
[final line unknown]

 

[Spl00gies]

You can't beat a bit of Pat, mun! He's got a pretty foul mouth though!

 

[Spunt]

Postman Pat, Postman Pat,
Postman Pat and his black and white Gat
Early in the Morning
Just as day is dawning
He drive-by's all the people from his van.

Everybody knows that "bang, bang, bang"
Everybody ducks as he tries to shoot them
Maybe, you can never be sure,
There'll be [gunfire noises]
Bodies on the floor

Postman Pat, Postman Pat,
Postman Pat and his black and white Gat
Pat knows he's a really dangerous man
Pat knows he's a really dangerous man