She's so proud of those two steps, acting like she couldn't ever do that when waddling to the car to go to Lexington for Cheesecake Factory. Trisha Paytas worship. Absolute snorefest other than when her disgusting, clothed flounderbasket hamhocks went up the porch stairs; Wake me up when the real & raw lahg reveal happens.
PRACTICING ON THE STAIRS!!!!!! - 9/18/2019 (Day 92 of this 100-Day Nightmare) Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:
- We're back to the intro! Hamber had plenty of time to "edit" up this video, clearly!
- Pepto Bismol plug! But this video happens BEFORE the mook-bong from yesterday, right?
- Yup, Hamber is "exhausted" and Necky is out of the house with Norma's surgery that Hamber couldn't attend because she DOESN'T FIT (anywhere, in general).
Q: "Why do you have fans in your room?"
A: BECKY CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT ONE ON IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M AN OVERHEATING COW MELTING UNDERNEATH HUNDREDS OF POUNDS OF FLESH!
- She'll say "shits and giggles" but NOT "SEX". (Cool story, gorl.)
- Twinkie Storr got mad at scarecrows Eric put on the lawn.
- More blathering about people claiming her weigh-in was fakes or done earlier in the year. More blathering about her poor usage of words and understanding of time/seasons/days and that you simply can't trust any words that fall out of her moonface.
- See those very shallow steps? She had a hard time with them in the past. Let's practice using the stairs!
- SEVEN SECONDS OF STAIRS in a SEVEN MINUTE VIDEO about STAIRS. SHELF-ASS-PATS AHOY!!!
- Pillow Mountain is "officially" a Mountain of Pillows. For the "first time". *rolls eyes*
- Plug for Eric's Birthday Party vlog? (Go look at that totally-not-600-elbees gorl in that video that she previously CRIED over seeing herself in?)
- Wommort Hair Bands. Poop Bun.
- BookClubLynn adding "101 poems about my ex boyfriend" by Trisha Paytas.
- Hamber loves poetry. VogonLynn in effect?
- A few hours later. She is reedeen poems. She is "shooketh" (if she truly were, the house would have fallen down).
- Her content is still admittedly bad.
STILL NO COMMENT OF THE DAY! (These are still not videos where she'd feel safe reading ANY comments.)
TL;DR: PRE-MOOKBONG HAMBER WALKED ON STAIRS FOR SEVEN SECONDS. SHELF-ASS-PATS ALL AROUND. SKIP.
Less than 8 minutes? Fine! Let’s give the ol’ archived version a go!
0:00 Oh fuck. It’s the dumbass intro.
0:13 She sounds unenthused. Opening on a bottle of Pepto? Gorl, we don’t want /that/ much detail into your digestive issues. The NASTY thread’s for that shit.
0:22 Doctorlynn figures out that lack of sleep impacts health. “It seems like the less sleep I get, the more nauseous I feel.” No shit, you’re not giving your body time to recuperate.
0:28 “So if I look exhausted, that’s because I am.” As opposed to when ‘you just woke up’ and ‘I’m a hot mess’. You look like you always do, Amberlynn. Like you’re 600 lbs.
0:32 Becky’s Mom update! Abnorma is in surgery and everything looks good. Great news for them, considering the implosion over the GFM. Now those refunds won’t hurt their wallets as badly.
0:50 Now she gives us a tale about why she has fans in her room. We know. It’s because you’re insulated by a foot of fucking blubber in every direction and overheat constantly. Next!
1:08 Now we’re blaming large fans on Becky. I hear those beeps of the bus as you ram it right over her. Good show of your love there!
1:53 Professing that it’s the noise of the fans that she loves. We know it’s that air motion around your moist fupa and sweaty skin in the heat and humidity of Kentucky.
2:02 Very telling that she loves the feeling of ‘being cold and snuggling up to your blanket and such.’ Not her partner. Though to be honest, snuggling up to Necky would be akin to hugging a superheated walrus, so I suppose that can’t be pleasant.
2:12 Showing off Eric’s mini scarecrows. Talks about how Twinkie hated them at first. No shit, Twinks is a chihuahua. They hate everything. Especially Amberlynn.
2:30 It wouldn’t be an outdoor scene if it didn’t include Twinkie Star taking a shit.
2:33 Time to blather about responses to her weigh-in video. Nothing of worth here. Just annoying ear-buzzing ‘blah blah blah’ bullshit of ‘I am right, you are wrong, I didn’t lie about my weigh-in blah blah blah’
3:37 Finally showing the stairs. It’s 3 concrete slabs whose total change in elevation doesn’t appear to even be a foot. And she’s proud of herself for making it up the stairs with minimal huffing and puffing.
4:20 Massive pile of pillows. Says this is the first time it’s actually been a pillow mountain. I want to slap her silly right now, but I know all it would do is make the fat on her face jiggle. I doubt she’d even feel it.
4:36 Now we’re showing off headbands. It looks like something I might see on a child of ten or younger. Amberlynn’s embracing her mental maturity level using fashion accessories, it seems.
4:47 She shows a fabric-covered headband. Said fabric is white with black polkadots. Said fabric is tied into a knot on top. It seriously looks like cow ears, and I can’t wait for this fucking heifer to wear it.
5:02 Closeup view of the grease mound/poop bun that’s sitting crooked on her head. Jeebuz, take at least five seconds of time and put in enough effort to get that shit centered on your head!
5:07 Showing that she got ‘101 poems about my ex boyfriend’ by Trisha Paytas. Why the fuck is this becoming a lame Walmart/mail haul video? Noooo!
5:10 Sperging about Trisha Paytas. Gah. And she says those poems are really long? I want to smack her a few times with Dante’s Inferno. And Purgatorio. And Paradisio. And Homer’s Iliad. And Odyssey. Bitch thinks Trisha Paytas writes long poems. Fuck off, dummy.
6:01 Now it’s been a couple of hours, and she’s going on about reading some of the book. Says it’s “So (lipsmack) deep” and she’s shooketh. Fuck my ears with your mangling of the English language.
6:55 Professes that she knows her content as of late sucks, but says it’s because she’s worn from the 100 days of uploading. Like the first 70-odd days weren’t just prerecorded bullshit on an auto-timed upload. Bitch, we know you’re ‘worn’ because you’re having to scrounge for new material that doesn’t revolve around your partner and her family trying to scam innocent people.
Gah, what a bunch of stupid bullshit!
Edit: L_I_F_T_E_D, I fucking adore you and your ninja ways.