Preacher Rocky? -

  • Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Waiting on a response from upstream.
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Scuttle456

kiwifarms.net
Has anyone here ever been to a service at Wesley Memorial Church?

If so what was it like, and what was Rocky's preaching like? Hellfire and Brimstone, or perhaps a sweet understated "jesus loves you" affect?

Is Chris officially banned there, or just forbidden from the "sharing of concerns?"

Is anyone there at all "friends" with him in the same way Rocky is?
 

Bgheff

kiwifarms.net
Rocky isn't a preacher, she's a church counselor. Ed is the preacher there. He is forbidden from the sharing thing by Ed. According to Chris, only old people acknowledge him there.
 

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I went to one of Chris' churches once years ago. I don't remember anything and, hell, it might've been some other church if Chris switched churches at some point.

But they're probably one of the "jesus loves you" churches. Chris has been banned from the church before, but he's allowed there now. He might not even go to services regularly anymore, because he's too sad or cranky or something. Though he's still calls in favors from Rocky regardless. And she does do them.
 

cahoots

born better
kiwifarms.net
Being a protestant United Methodist Church, they would be "Jesus loves you". They are usually more liberal and tolerant and focus on God's love rather than his wrath. That'd also explain Rocky's view on premarital sex.
 

CWCissey

Charming Man
True & Honest Fan
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cahoots said:
Being a protestant United Methodist Church, they would be "Jesus loves you". They are usually more liberal and tolerant and focus on God's love rather than his wrath.

Although they now know that God doesn't love them once the Chris'tard opened his gob!

That'd also explain Rocky's view on premarital sex.

Or she's trying to protect herself from fat, sweaty manchild love. :tomgirl:
 

The Knife

Magnificent Witch
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The CWCki isn't loading for me right now but there's audio of someone paying a visit to Wesley Memorial and talking to Chris and Bob if OP is interested.
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
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Rocky is a pastoral counselor.
It's just a typical church service.
Chris isnt banned, he just doesn't go.
Chris has no friends.
 

_blank_

The Charles Dickens of Disco
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Well, coming from the perspective of a Methodist pastor's son, yeah, I would suspect they're more of the feel good, self-serving type of congregation than the fire-and-brimstone Bible-thumping type of church. That said however, I'm also sure they'd also be the type to not actively condone certain things like homosexual marriages, but will not outright refuse them either.

Knowing how Chris acts in a social environment, I would suspect the congregation was... patient enough for a while to put up with his antics. However, even the most forgiving parishioners probably grew to be wary of the selfish manchild, probably most certainly the parents of smaller children. I would suspect the little social circles in the congregation approached Pastor Ed and he requested Chris to stop doing whatever he was doing (I would suspect demanding God to do his bidding during prayers, being a glutton at potlucks, yelling at small children, being rude to the elderly, etc.) and Chris, even the beacon fo level-headed thought, took it as an affront and deduced Ed was banning him from church. You see, then Chris can be the victim, and yet be able to find more time for his Pokemans.

Just an assumption, of course.
 

Himawari

Nigga that's kawaii
kiwifarms.net
CatParty said:
It's just a typical church service.
There's not really such a thing as a "typical church service." Even among same denominations the attitudes of individual churches can vary greatly - the Presbyterian church my family attended when I was little was very "FIRE AND BRIMSTONE AIDS IS A PLAGUE SENT BY GOD TO EXTERMINATE DA HOMOS" (my father called them "white-knuckle services"), but the Presbyterian church we've been attending since I was a teenager is very much the " :heart-full: :heart-full: God loves EVERYONE :heart-full: :heart-full:" type. Then there's the basic structure of a church service which can be vastly different between denominations (I once attended a service at the church my uncle and his family attend - I think it was a Lutheran church or something? - and it was BIZARRE), and I'm not even going to touch upon the differences when it comes to Communion - again, even among same denominations. I'll just say that when I visited a Presbyterian church while on a missionary trip to New Orleans, I was very shocked to find that the grape juice in my little cup was not actually grape juice.

Regardless of my religious sperging, I'm pretty sure it's been common Christorial knowledge for a long while now that Wesley Memorial is one of the very liberal types.
 

KakaSentYa

kiwifarms.net
Wesley's your average white-bread progressive mainstream Christian church. There's an archive of recent sermons on their website (http://wmumc.avenue.org/Sermon Archive.html), and they're all what you'd expect: Jesus is a nice guy, let's be more like Jesus, etc. etc. etc. Ed's November 24 sermon starts with a paragraph about twerking, so my guess is that Wesley's the kind of place where old people sit in pews and have gentle white people chuckles about life.

Edit: Rocky signed a pro-gay marriage (well, anti-anti-gay marriage) ballot back in 2006, so I'd say fire and brimstone are out. (http://www.equalityloudoun.org/advo...-clergy-statement-opposing-ballot-question-1/)
 

Himawari

Nigga that's kawaii
kiwifarms.net
KakaSentYa said:
Wesley's your average white-bread progressive mainstream Christian church. There's an archive of recent sermons on their website (http://wmumc.avenue.org/Sermon Archive.html), and they're all what you'd expect: Jesus is a nice guy, let's be more like Jesus, etc. etc. etc. Ed's November 24 sermon starts with a paragraph about twerking, so my guess is that Wesley's the kind of place where old people sit in pews and have gentle white people chuckles about life.
Goodness, maybe their pastors and our pastors collaborate. The sermon at my church just the week after that began with a discussion of hobbits.

And this is indeed the type of church where old people sit in pews and have gentle white people chuckles about life, while also having a sizable representation of college students (being a college town, like C-ville) who are "in" on what is being referred to.
 

Marvin

Christorical Figure
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
sparklemilhouse said:
Marvin, I know it was ages ago, but do you remember if Chris dressed up for church or wore his clown suits back then?
Uhh, I don't really remember, but I would imagine that Chris just wears the same stuff he wears every day.
 

Scuttle456

kiwifarms.net
Hobbits?

The priest at my church a week or so before Christmas basically reviewed the Hobbit and interwove it into his sermon. Yes priest, I am an idol worshipping Catholic lol
 

The Joker

Does not have a girl penis
kiwifarms.net
Marvin said:
sparklemilhouse said:
Marvin, I know it was ages ago, but do you remember if Chris dressed up for church or wore his clown suits back then?
Uhh, I don't really remember, but I would imagine that Chris just wears the same stuff he wears every day.
In the letter Chris said he was banned from sharing his concerns in front of the congregation because he whined about da evil trolls :pickleman: and the pastor was sick of it. From the church audio it seems like Bob kept the manchild behaved.
 

Russian

kiwifarms.net
I sometimes wish that Chris was Russian Orthodox or Eastern Catholic. There are a lot of bishops who wouldn't hesitate to excommunicate and anathematize him. The reaction from Chris would be hilarious.

Also, didn't Chris attend a Korean Church in the past?
 

DangDirtyTrolls

The man in the pickle suit tricked me once again
kiwifarms.net
Russian said:
I sometimes wish that Chris was Russian Orthodox or Eastern Catholic. There are a lot of bishops who wouldn't hesitate to excommunicate and anathematize him. The reaction from Chris would be hilarious
Well Chris has already been banned from churches before so I'm not sure what good this would do. Likely he'd blame the church for being excommunicated and act the victim regardless of what happened.
 

The Knife

Magnificent Witch
True & Honest Fan
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Russian said:
I sometimes wish that Chris was Russian Orthodox or Eastern Catholic. There are a lot of bishops who wouldn't hesitate to excommunicate and anathematize him. The reaction from Chris would be hilarious.

Also, didn't Chris attend a Korean Church in the past?

We'd get to hear about the DANG DIRTY BISHOPS who "ecks-ecks-eckscommunificated and anesthetized me!"

I don't know if he ever attended but the CWCki says the pastor of a local Korean church sent him a graduation gift. Plus he traveled to Korea in Bob's carry-on, making it one of the few countries Chris knows to exist.
 

Tubular Monkey

Very much Greatly extroverted
kiwifarms.net
The Chandlers couldn't look more out of place than they would at a Korean church. They really are a bunch of misfits, aren't they? The Chandlers, that is - not Koreans.
 

Stratochu

\
kiwifarms.net
Tubular Monkey said:
The Chandlers couldn't look more out of place than they would at a Korean church. They really are a bunch of misfits, aren't they? The Chandlers, that is - not Koreans.
Bob's best friend in Richmond was the pastor of a Korean baptist church, and Bob & Chris presumably attended services there when they were in Richmond. I don't think :snorlax: attended church much due to hoarding and :snorlax:
 
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