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Recreating the first ever thread I created back in the days of old (aka the Yuku Days).
The first ever forum I posted at was the fanfiction.net forums in 2006. Thirteen year old me was pretty obnoxious but I got it out of my system.
I posted some at the deviantart forums but that didn't last real long since I was on the chats 24/7 anyway.
Now comes the one that had the biggest impact on me. In 2009 or so my brother convinced me to join this private forum he was a regular at. They were starting up a game of Mafia and he wanted me to join because he thought it'd be fun for me. Apparently the board was created by a bunch of members of gamefaqs that got tired of trolling several years prior, and eventually you had to be vouched for by an existing member to even get in just to cull it.
I was pretty shy and was struggling with severe social anxiety. Joining this closed community was really daunting to me (as opposed to places like deviantart which I had no problems with) and I had no idea what to expect. Back then I was aware of "lurk moar" so I waited a little bit before posting, but not TOO long since Mafia was starting up in just a few days. Well, not wanting to delay too much, I tentatively posted a thread about myself in the introduction section saying that I was the sibling of so-and-so. Not too long after I got responses like "sibling? You mean you don't have a gender?" or "Are we sure this isn't so-and-so pranking us? Quick, check the IP!" and "get the fuck out."
Uh.
Of course I got the standard "Hi, please do stick around" from a few folks, but for me, the damage was already done. I was totally walking on egg shells after that. It probably seems silly to some of you but, again, my social anxiety was so severe it wasn't funny. I would literally tremble in front of the computer wondering if I did something wrong. I didn't back out though, because I DID want to show a little dedication.
Between the first Mafia game, which went fine enough at first, I got the gist that the "get the fuck out guy" was apparently the guy that gave newbies a hard. You know the kind. Posting that was one thing, but he actively replied to most whatever I posted to antagonize me, like mocking my appearance when I posted a picture of myself and singling me out in a reply chain with a succinct "you're doing it wrong". I got the feeling no one would do anything about it, and I was right. Since the community had been so close-knit for so long, every got used to each others personalities and there were unwritten rules among the regulars that I wasn't there long enough to be aware of but was still somehow expected to follow. Eventually it got to be so upsetting that I PM'd the admin and he just said not to worry about it. I didn't want to be a bother so I left it at that.
The experience didn't get much better, since I eventually learned that most of the users there were men in their 20's/30's. I made my age known from day one and I was looked down upon for it before I could even establish myself. After about a month I felt too intimidated to even post. After another two months I didn't have it in me to keep trying. The first mafia game went alright, but the second we had competitive men with some underlying anger issues resorting to these ridiculous personal attacks and it got so bad the whole game was shut down. I felt really bad for the guy who started that round of Mafia. The premise was really creative, he was a great writer, and all because of the members shitty behavior he apologized and called it the worst thing he had ever done to the board. Yeah, that was it for me. I sent the guy some words of support and left.
Come two years later and I haven't participated in forums at all. I'm really into the Chris phenomenon and I start lurking the board of the forum I see linked on the wiki. It was the summer of 2011 and that was when the Offshore forums were up and going. Thought about creating an account, decided not to (anyone who doesn't know how those forums went doesn't need to)
A month or two later, I see the Yuku forums go up and I lurk for a fair while. To my surprise, it seems like a pretty easy going place. Lots of civil discussion and surprisingly intelligent commentary. After a few weeks of debating with myself, I join, and the rest is history.
I guess the whole reason I'm posting this is because it's really had an effect on the way I conduct myself on these forums. If there are new users like the me of several years ago who just want a chance to become part of the community then I want to be the one who gives them that chance. Even if we all know each other here, I can't forget that being welcoming and nonjudgmental towards new users is of the utmost importance. The good news is though, I don't need to stick up for anyone here. If someone shows the willingness to be part of the community there's really no one who'll shut them down before they get the chance. If that board had been even half as laid-back as the cwcki forums my experience there would have been a very different one.
So, what about you guys? Have you had a similar experience anywhere? How do cwcki forums hold up in comparison? If you're a regular, why do you keep coming back?
The first ever forum I posted at was the fanfiction.net forums in 2006. Thirteen year old me was pretty obnoxious but I got it out of my system.
I posted some at the deviantart forums but that didn't last real long since I was on the chats 24/7 anyway.
Now comes the one that had the biggest impact on me. In 2009 or so my brother convinced me to join this private forum he was a regular at. They were starting up a game of Mafia and he wanted me to join because he thought it'd be fun for me. Apparently the board was created by a bunch of members of gamefaqs that got tired of trolling several years prior, and eventually you had to be vouched for by an existing member to even get in just to cull it.
I was pretty shy and was struggling with severe social anxiety. Joining this closed community was really daunting to me (as opposed to places like deviantart which I had no problems with) and I had no idea what to expect. Back then I was aware of "lurk moar" so I waited a little bit before posting, but not TOO long since Mafia was starting up in just a few days. Well, not wanting to delay too much, I tentatively posted a thread about myself in the introduction section saying that I was the sibling of so-and-so. Not too long after I got responses like "sibling? You mean you don't have a gender?" or "Are we sure this isn't so-and-so pranking us? Quick, check the IP!" and "get the fuck out."
Uh.
Of course I got the standard "Hi, please do stick around" from a few folks, but for me, the damage was already done. I was totally walking on egg shells after that. It probably seems silly to some of you but, again, my social anxiety was so severe it wasn't funny. I would literally tremble in front of the computer wondering if I did something wrong. I didn't back out though, because I DID want to show a little dedication.
Between the first Mafia game, which went fine enough at first, I got the gist that the "get the fuck out guy" was apparently the guy that gave newbies a hard. You know the kind. Posting that was one thing, but he actively replied to most whatever I posted to antagonize me, like mocking my appearance when I posted a picture of myself and singling me out in a reply chain with a succinct "you're doing it wrong". I got the feeling no one would do anything about it, and I was right. Since the community had been so close-knit for so long, every got used to each others personalities and there were unwritten rules among the regulars that I wasn't there long enough to be aware of but was still somehow expected to follow. Eventually it got to be so upsetting that I PM'd the admin and he just said not to worry about it. I didn't want to be a bother so I left it at that.
The experience didn't get much better, since I eventually learned that most of the users there were men in their 20's/30's. I made my age known from day one and I was looked down upon for it before I could even establish myself. After about a month I felt too intimidated to even post. After another two months I didn't have it in me to keep trying. The first mafia game went alright, but the second we had competitive men with some underlying anger issues resorting to these ridiculous personal attacks and it got so bad the whole game was shut down. I felt really bad for the guy who started that round of Mafia. The premise was really creative, he was a great writer, and all because of the members shitty behavior he apologized and called it the worst thing he had ever done to the board. Yeah, that was it for me. I sent the guy some words of support and left.
Come two years later and I haven't participated in forums at all. I'm really into the Chris phenomenon and I start lurking the board of the forum I see linked on the wiki. It was the summer of 2011 and that was when the Offshore forums were up and going. Thought about creating an account, decided not to (anyone who doesn't know how those forums went doesn't need to)
A month or two later, I see the Yuku forums go up and I lurk for a fair while. To my surprise, it seems like a pretty easy going place. Lots of civil discussion and surprisingly intelligent commentary. After a few weeks of debating with myself, I join, and the rest is history.
I guess the whole reason I'm posting this is because it's really had an effect on the way I conduct myself on these forums. If there are new users like the me of several years ago who just want a chance to become part of the community then I want to be the one who gives them that chance. Even if we all know each other here, I can't forget that being welcoming and nonjudgmental towards new users is of the utmost importance. The good news is though, I don't need to stick up for anyone here. If someone shows the willingness to be part of the community there's really no one who'll shut them down before they get the chance. If that board had been even half as laid-back as the cwcki forums my experience there would have been a very different one.
So, what about you guys? Have you had a similar experience anywhere? How do cwcki forums hold up in comparison? If you're a regular, why do you keep coming back?
