Questions that will never be Answered -

[YouDorks]

Title pretty much explains it. Who is to say the CWC community hasn't only just cracked the tip of a lulz iceburg? There is so, so much we'll never know about Chris... like, grand cataclysmic events in his life that we don't know about. Truly regretful stuff that Chris would never share... ever, not even to a potential heartsweet.

To start off, here's some stuff about OPL I'd like to know but never will:
-What really happened at Nathaniel Greene Elementary that pushed his parents over the edge?
-What were Chris/Bob/Barb really expecting out of his enrollment at PVCC? Why did Bob feel a sudden urge to just keep him on a tugboat for the rest of his life?
-How did Chris behave growing up? At what point did his madness begin? (I'm still in high school and honestly, I probably would've hung out with him out of pity, tried to give him some help. I've been through his kind of shit and know exactly what it's like.)
-Was Chris bullied in school? (Not out of the question considering he grew up before Columbine, 9/11, and the internet)
-Why did Barbara feel the need to deny Cole's real father so vehemently?
-Anything about Barb in general, actually. We know next to nothing about her life story.
-Where did Chris get the demented idea of "recycling"? From what we can tell, Chris isn't some kind of hardcore fundamentalist prude. He thinks God is his personal wish-granting army, like Santa Claus.
-On that note, how long did Chris really believe in Santa Claus?
-Why did Chris embrace transgenderism all of a sudden? Is he really gay but in severe denial?
-Did Chris really make the honor roll?
-How long has the Chandler house been covered in trash piles?
-Chris's high school GPA? SAT scores? Class rank?
-Chris's Social Security Number?
-Who is merried seinor comic? Like seriously WTF does that name mean?
-What's Chris been doing for the last year outside of what we know from Facebook? Like... the stuff he doesn't want to share.
-What are his future plans once Barb finally drops?

 

[Yawning Squirtle]

Who is the Magical Potion Man?

 

[Trombonista]

On that note, how long did Chris really believe in Santa Claus?

Chris said he learned Santa wasn't real when he was 15 or 16, and stopped believing in Santa Claus when he was 24.

 

[Bgheff]

-What's Chris been doing for the last year?

According to the leak he's been hanging out with Barb, complaining about how his life sucks and escaping to hang out as fast food places when he can. As for the rest, I agree they will most likely stay unknown.

Was Chris bullied in school? (Not out of the question considering he grew up before Columbine, 9/11, and the internet)

He's mentioned the incidents like getting change thrown at him, kids telling him sonic was dead, ect.

Why did Barbara feel the need to deny Cole's real father so vehemently?

Barb is nuts. Lord knows what kind of issues she has.

Where did Chris get the demented idea of "recycling"? From what we can tell, Chris isn't some kind of hardcore fundamentalist prude. He thinks God is his personal wish-granting army, like Santa Claus.

Likely just his typical stupidity.

-On that note, how long did Chris really believe in Santa Claus?

According to the wiki, Chris stated that he learned Santa wasn't real around age fifteen or sixteen, but finally "gave up on him" at 24 after he failed to bring him a girlfriend for the third year in a row.

The rest are all issues that Chris doesn't care about (like his mothers life) or that Chris is in denial about and made up a fantasy for. Bob seems to have an influence on that, since according to the leak that is one of the things about Bob that upset Barb, his re-imagining of events.

 

[c-no]

Considering how some of the questions are, the question I have would be:
1) Why did Borb have to hire a terrible baby-sitter to watch Chris? Did they have any other options?
2) How was Chris as a student during class at PVCC, we only have mention of his CADD class and the events at his English class, but not other classes.
3) Regarding his half-brother Cole, how does he truly feel about Chris nowadays, does he loath his autistic half-brother or does he pity him? Does he hold any resentment to Borb for how they raised Chris?

 

[Kosher Dill]

-What were Chris/Bob/Barb really expecting out of his enrollment at PVCC?

Remember, at the time Chris had just graduated high school with honor roll. Bob probably still was clinging to some hope that Chris was trainable and that he'd miraculously beaten autism without treatment.

-Was Chris bullied in school? (Not out of the question considering he grew up before Columbine, 9/11, and the internet)

There was the thing where people threw pennies at him and said "Sonic is dead" That's probably the worst of it, because if there was more you know Chris would have milked it for sympathy a thousand times over.

-Did Chris really make the honor roll?

Yes, and even for a semester or two at PVCC as well.

-How long has the Chandler house been covered in trash piles?

Definitely by the time Kacey was around and the kitchen was unusable. Barb didn't seem to be a hoarder yet back in 2000 when they moved back to 14BC, so sometime between 2000 and 2009 the hoard was born.

-Chris's high school GPA? SAT scores? Class rank?

LOL I doubt he took the SAT.

-Who is merried seinor comic? Like seriously WTF does that name mean?

He's a cop by the name of Kirby McDerbie. My favorite theory on this (don't remember who proposed it) is that when Chris was on one of his "Virginia is for VIRGINS" rants in Target or wherever, the cop in question said that no, he was married, and made jokes. So he was a married comic, and older than Chris. We'll probably never really know since Chris himself has almost certainly forgotten.

 

[LM 697]

why come chris shittied himself in his pants. B-))))

 

[Marvin]

-Why did Barbara feel the need to deny Cole's real father so vehemently?

Because she was embarrassed? I don't know, I don't believe Cole's story about the interaction 100%, but Barb's crazy, so I'm sure big portions of it are accurate.

-Where did Chris get the demented idea of "recycling"? From what we can tell, Chris isn't some kind of hardcore fundamentalist prude. He thinks God is his personal wish-granting army, like Santa Claus.

Didn't want to waste them. Don't think it goes much past that, aside from the specific reason for this.

-Why did Chris embrace transgenderism all of a sudden? Is he really gay but in severe denial?

Chris has gender issues. That's not usually connected with homosexuality, I don't think... (well, until you get into tricky questions about original gender versus new gender and things like that)

Chris, right now and for the foreseeable future, is male. And no, he's not gay.

-Did Chris really make the honor roll?

Probably.

-Chris's Social Security Number?

Who cares?

-What's Chris been doing for the last year outside of what we know from Facebook? Like... the stuff he doesn't want to share.

Not much outside of what's on facebook. There are some other things, but they're (mostly) not surprising if you read the facebook leak. Chris' life has had a similar tone to the facebook leak.

-What are his future plans once Barb finally drops?

Find a replacement game place, find a girlfriend. Things will develop from there (in Chris' fantasy of the future, at least).

 

[sparklemilhouse]

2) How was Chris as a student during class at PVCC, we only have mention of his CADD class and the events at his English class, but not other classes.

Chris had to take other classes to earn his associates degree. He mentioned once in a leaked email from ages ago that he was taking an ice skating class for his health credit, which is an unfortunate requirement for your associates at a Virginia Community College. I graduated from and worked at a Virginia community college, so I know a general idea of the classes he took to earn his degree.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

-Why did Chris embrace transgenderism all of a sudden? Is he really gay but in severe denial?

Chris has gender issues. That's not usually connected with homosexuality, I don't think... (well, until you get into tricky questions about original gender versus new gender and things like that)

Chris, right now and for the foreseeable future, is male. And no, he's not gay.

Not to say there's a direct connection between the two, but seeing the two issues in the same post, I honestly wonder now if there's a deeper reason why he drank his own semen.

 

[The Dude]

-What are his future plans once Barb finally drops?

His future plans will be play vidya, fap, wait for a pretty, skinny, white 20-something girl to come up to him and say "You're the sexy manly-yet-feminine Tomgirl I've always dreamed about! Let's get married, have lots of sexy sex times, have a daughter named Chrystal, and I will cook for you, clean for you, and work to bring home the money so you don't have to!", play vidya, fap again, play vidya, eat McDoodles, and play yet more vidya.

The reality is that he's going to play vidya for a while, bitch on Facebook that he's lonely and ask why his friends aren't getting him said pretty, skinny, white 20-something girl, bitch about that DAMN BRIBING JEW MICHAEL SNYDER, bitch about Megan Schroeder, fap, eat McDoodles, then eventually lose the house, the dogs, the cats, the cars, the vidya, the LEGO, the My Little Ponies, the DVDs, the TV, and the tugboat will wind up going to a group home for other slow-in-the-minds who are unable, or unwilling, to care for themselves.

 

[Prowldent]

What were the rumors that upset Chris' parents so much and caused them to move from the Newberry Towne Subdivision?

And I too would like to know who the Magical Potion Man is.

 

[fridgesrants]

I wish we could here Megan side of the story of what he did to her.
I wish could learn more about the Chandler fleet of cars. There is so little known about the BMW Z3. Did Bob buy it as a retirement gift for himself?
I wish Chris's high school gal pals would post stories about Chris in high school on the CWCki.

 

[Ruckersvillian]

I wish we could here Megan side of the story of what he did to her.

Me too. I think it would be interesting to hear the perspectives of Sarah Hammer, Tiffany Gowen, etc, but I don't advocate bothering people to ask them about Chris. I'm actually acquainted with the Hammers, but I've never had the guts to ask them about the Chandlers.

I'd also be interested to hear the "TRUE AND HONEST" story of what happened at Nathaniel Greene. Knowing Chris' propensity for, shall we say, having an active imagination, I'm sure the incident from his perspective is twisted beyond recognition.

In the long period of "radio silence" where Chris hasn't made more videos, has he drawn more comics or items that we haven't seen yet?

What were the rumors that upset Chris' parents so much and caused them to move from the Newberry Towne Subdivision?

I hadn't heard about this. I too would be interested to know more about what happened.

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

I'm a tad bit surprised Chris hasn't given out his Social Security number, given his history of posting sensitive material online. Hell, he probably doesn't even know what Social Security is.

 

[The Dude]

I wish we could here Megan side of the story of what he did to her.
I wish could learn more about the Chandler fleet of cars. There is so little known about the BMW Z3. Did Bob buy it as a retirement gift for himself?

I'd love to hear from Megan too. After all, she IS our Queen!

As far as the Bimmer goes, we do know that Chris never drives it because he doesn't know how to drive stick shift. Plus the Z3 probably has a lot more horse power and torque than the Mitsubishi or Son-Chu, so even if Chris could drive stick he would probably be overwhelmed by the extra power. Of course this all depends on which engine the Z3 has in it, there were something like 7 different engines available through the life of the Z3. I'll bet Bob bought it used. You can get Z3's for pretty cheap now. I'm willing to bet he bought the Jag as a retirement gift.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

I honestly don't think we'll ever get a look at the 'tism papers, but I would love to know whether he was diagnosed with anything else at the same time -- or later.
I wonder what his IQ really is.
Of all the hairstyles on all the heads across the globe, why pigtails?
When his high-school class read Of Mice and Men, were all the other kids secretly sneaking glances at Chris and thinking, "Yup, Lennie"?
Did said high-school class deliberately hold some sort of 10-year reunion without him? (Similar questions about the fates of high-school classmates like Tiffany Gowen. Also, what the hell was so threatening about Joseph Herring that he had to appear horribly disfigured in the comic pages?)
Does he even know that "bode" is a legit word? If so, how, considering he probably hasn't cracked a book since high school, and even then it was Goosebumps?

I do think that it's possible Bob drilled into him never to give out his Social Security number, and/or that he just doesn't know it. He wouldn't have filled out a W-4 or I-9 form since Wendy's.

 

[Some JERK]

I'm on the fence about hearing Megan's side of things. I mean really, what else is she going to say to us that she didn't say to him, and that we don't already know?

"He was a nice enough guy until he started getting a little creepy. Then he drew a picture of himself finger-banging me and put it on the internet. Then I ran. The end."

 

[The Dude]

I wonder what his IQ really is.
Of all the hairstyles on all the heads across the globe, why pigtails?

He's not dumb in the traditional sense. I would say his IQ is probably average-high average. He's just dumb in that he has no common sense. I'm willing to bet, however, that his IQ is no longer as high as it once was.

He probably thinks the pigtails are cute, playful, girly, and sassy.

 

[Marvin]

In the long period of "radio silence" where Chris hasn't made more videos, has he drawn more comics or items that we haven't seen yet?

I don't believe so, no.

I honestly don't think we'll ever get a look at the 'tism papers, but I would love to know whether he was diagnosed with anything else at the same time -- or later.

Actually, our chances of getting the autism papers are a lot better now that Bob's gone.

Of all the hairstyles on all the heads across the globe, why pigtails?

Something noticeably girly that he can do with long hair? Something like that, anyway.

Also, what the hell was so threatening about Joseph Herring that he had to appear horribly disfigured in the comic pages?)

I don't think Joseph Herring was threatening to Chris, he probably just had bad enough acne that Chris had to draw it (which might not be that bad, just enough for him to notice it). And when Chris drew it, it ended up looking like he had a bunch of nipples on his face.

Does he even know that "bode" is a legit word? If so, how, considering he probably hasn't cracked a book since high school, and even then it was Goosebumps?

Don't really have an answer to your first question, but, don't forget he read Star by Pamela Anderson.

I do think that it's possible Bob drilled into him never to give out his Social Security number, and/or that he just doesn't know it. He wouldn't have filled out a W-4 or I-9 form since Wendy's.

Probably this. Hell, I don't think I have my SSN memorized. I think I know most of it, but I think I regularly fuck up one of the digits.