Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

Is Quinton able to redeem himself?

  • YASS QUEEN SLAY

    Votes: 202 13.7%
  • Not without Caleb

    Votes: 214 14.5%
  • Only inside a bouncy castle

    Votes: 612 41.5%
  • After his love quest is over

    Votes: 437 29.6%
  • With the love of a true and honest whaman

    Votes: 387 26.2%

  • Total voters
    1,475

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
You know those 'motivational' posters that say things like "The one constant in all your failed relationships is you"? Q needs that, but for computers. I'm genuinely curious how he's so bad at it. Does he sit there eating handfuls of cheetos and clogging the fans with cheetos dust? Does he block the ventilation ports with random crap? Does he keep coming down with cryptominer malware that ruthlessly overworks any machine it runs on to heat death, like that virus that was killing cell phones a while back? I mean, I routinely use the same machine for 5+ years and only get a new one when my old OS is no longer supported (and the new one won't run on the old hardware). I've never once had a virus or a hard drive failure in 20+ years. That's probably exceptional, but Q just has to be doing something badly wrong and I wish I knew what.
 

Mr Roboto

kiwifarms.net
Now for what really matters. Do you want to know how pathetic his Patreon is?, Do you really want to know?
that would mean he makes at least $5149.92 USD.
I'm not sure if I've misread your post, but that would mean he's making at least $60,000 a year right? Is that the pathetic or is it pathetic that his fans are giving him that much when he does dick all?
He's such a cunt
 

Oliver Onions

Stop sinning, that's literally all you have to do.
kiwifarms.net
You know those 'motivational' posters that say things like "The one constant in all your failed relationships is you"? Q needs that, but for computers. I'm genuinely curious how he's so bad at it.
I've been thinking the exact same thing. Like you, my laptop is currently on it's 7th or 8th year and it's definitely on its last legs, but it's still fit for the purposes I need it for. The only time I've ever experienced the kind of catastrophic failures Quinton deals with on the regular was back when I was a dumbass kid getting anime torrents off dodgy sites, so maybe wherever Quinton is sourcing all his footage of old shit nobody cares about is riddled with malware and bricking his machines.

The only other thing I can think is the laptops he's buying are so shitty that trying to run editing software (which in my experience is a massive resource hog) is frying the system, but I don't even know if that's possible.
 

Big Meaty Claws

What did you say, punk?!
kiwifarms.net
Well boys, the eternal question has risen

Who wore it better?

Bob
EzgABlmXEAQLsp3.jpg


Or Quinton
EzgACU6XoAEWF3G.jpg
 

Scarmaiden

kiwifarms.net
Well boys, the eternal question has risen

Who wore it better?

Bob
View attachment 2111804


Or Quinton
View attachment 2111805
Bobert gets points for wearing a matching basket, although Q's tee seems to complete the retarded composition like nothing else. Plus Roberto's special enough to actually have bought it, pretty sure Q only put it on for the pic (unless we see it in some of his next videos)

I've been thinking the exact same thing. Like you, my laptop is currently on it's 7th or 8th year and it's definitely on its last legs, but it's still fit for the purposes I need it for. The only time I've ever experienced the kind of catastrophic failures Quinton deals with on the regular was back when I was a dumbass kid getting anime torrents off dodgy sites, so maybe wherever Quinton is sourcing all his footage of old shit nobody cares about is riddled with malware and bricking his machines.

The only other thing I can think is the laptops he's buying are so shitty that trying to run editing software (which in my experience is a massive resource hog) is frying the system, but I don't even know if that's possible.
Pretty sure these days software can't melt hardware like it happened in early days, there are protections against that. There are things that could wear down it quickly (like overclocking which I doubt Q have braincells to do), but not 3 months quickly. Having a shitty power supply (voltage spikes) is more likely to fry some components of it, but even then it's usually limited to power supply unit
 

The Grimace

kiwifarms.net
Something horrid happened to me at school. During my History of Animation class, my teacher clicked a Quinton video (the Worthikids collab, by accident?) to show us Rankin Bass animation (do not worry, he avoided showing segments with Quinton and we only watched like a minute of animation). It should say enough that we have already watched a couple of video essays and this was the first time we didn't even bother listening to what the Youtuber could be saying. After that, he apologized by showing us the first 15 minutes of Yellow Submarine in Italian.

Suffice to say I was laughing my arse off but I am taking this as a personal attack, and as such, we will make it even the only way I know. Here is some data you might find useful.

Here is the new video that is supposed to drop today or tomorrow. This one is up to you because I already did the rest.

View attachment 2109787

Now for what really matters. Do you want to know how pathetic his Patreon is?, Do you really want to know?
Quinton had a very weird habit of posting a document containing his Patreon credits and the last one was over a year ago, so obviously, the data I can extract from it is not going to be anything more than an approximation but I am going to walk you through the process anyway.
Back on December 3rd, 2019, Quinton posted the credits for the last time and ten days later he claims he reached the Garfield Eats goal, that as we know in the future meant shite. What's interesting is that unless I am grossly off with my accounting the document was edited after the Patreon goal post because the goal is marked as 365 patrons but the credits mark 473 listed patrons who donated at least $5 USD.

Here are the numbers by tier:
[$100]: 1 (RaccoonReason)
[$55] {Personal voice recording}: 3
[$50]: 1
[$41]: 1
[$35]: 8
[$30] {Then personal postcard, now Quinton Plushie}: 55
[$25] {Three consecutive payments get you a mug}: 10
[$20.89]: 1
[$15]: 2
[$12]: 5
[$10] {You get to ask a question on the QnA}: 40
[$7]: 1
[$6.03]: 1
[$6] {Private server, discontinued}: 68 (Adustus, Rebecca's Trash Hole*, Hippie Rat, Superdark33, Salandria*)
[$5] {Minimum to appear in the credits}: 276 (Bad Empanada, Bex Bewitched*, Flowergothic)
* All marked are the same person.

Total of credited patrons: 473 ($10.24 USD per accounted patron)
Listed Patreon total: $4847.92 USD

These numbers are not set in stone as he could have lost some patrons or gained some. Some could have pledged more, some could have downgraded. Let's assume we are dealing with the same base number until this very month. He has 775 patrons at the moment, which means he has earned 302 new patrons since December 2019. Let's go very conservative and assume each one of those patrons donates $1 USD, that would mean he makes at least $5149.92 USD.

Those of course are the numbers I came up with based on, what I will admit, is outdated info. Let's go to Graphtreon to find something else. The problem is that Q doesn't disclose how much he makes like most leftubers and we can only go by an estimate.
View attachment 2110110

So my numbers are within the likable answer but definitely still a bit off.

Quinton last disclosed how much he made over a year ago. As you may have noticed, Quinton got into a minor dip after January 2020, during the peak of his vacation arc while all he was doing was tweet about how people weren't his friends.
View attachment 2110125
I looked up "garfield happy meal" and they were all from the late 1980's. Quinton, did you seriously buy a 30 year old piece of cardboard?
 

Huge Fuckin Nerd

kiwifarms.net
The only other thing I can think is the laptops he's buying are so shitty that trying to run editing software (which in my experience is a massive resource hog) is frying the system, but I don't even know if that's possible.
Editing software only gets intense when you’re doing big fuck you renders. Even then, it shouldn’t be bricking, just running slowly during the render and should be left alone to render with no other programs running.

I imagine a dumbfuck like Quinton is trying to render a 40 minute video with after effects graphics (what the fuck is he even using AE for?) and then going on to use his computer to do other things while the video is rendering.

At 8gb of ram, he’s definitely going to run into problems.
 

SpacePirat

kiwifarms.net
MCSperg.PNG

Of course he's a McDonald's consoomer. I mean I know about the McDonald's-makes-pain-go-away thing that happened a while back but I didn't expect it to be such a big obsession for him.
I feel like he's obsessed with anything related to his childhood, as if he can't let go of it, desperately clinging to what remains.
I know we enjoy being mean to tards and fat people, but man I hope one day big Q will be able to defeat his own Count Graduon, grow up and live a good and healthy life.
 

Underworld Goth Vibes

Sainted Halo
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 2112242
Of course he's a McDonald's consoomer. I mean I know about the McDonald's-makes-pain-go-away thing that happened a while back but I didn't expect it to be such a big obsession for him.
I feel like he's obsessed with anything related to his childhood, as if he can't let go of it, desperately clinging to what remains.
I know we enjoy being mean to tards and fat people, but man I hope one day big Q will be able to defeat his own Count Graduon, grow up and live a good and healthy life.
While I agree with the sentiment whole heartedly, I think that ship has long since sailed. Quintessa had that opportunity when he was growing by having a wide network of collaborators, but immediately shot himself in the foot when he had to make sure everyone he associated with passed his BreadTube Purity test.

Given Southern sensibilities, he’s the perpetual victim, not willing to look inward to see what he did wrong. Just look at how he treats his computers: it’s the computer that’s broken, not his abuse of the machine. He’s locked himself in this downward spiral of consooming (since it gives him the good feels) with his paypigs fueling it.

All that can be done is to watch with amusement.
 

glib

kiwifarms.net
View attachment 2112242
Of course he's a McDonald's consoomer. I mean I know about the McDonald's-makes-pain-go-away thing that happened a while back but I didn't expect it to be such a big obsession for him.
I feel like he's obsessed with anything related to his childhood, as if he can't let go of it, desperately clinging to what remains.
I know we enjoy being mean to tards and fat people, but man I hope one day big Q will be able to defeat his own Count Graduon, grow up and live a good and healthy life.
I think you're right that his "ironic" obsession with Garfield, and other random bullshit represents the arrested development that he is perpetually placed in.
This is thanks to the channel he's created, the audience he's attracted, and his financial needs.
Everything is steeped in irony, except his desire to be "a part of something" which is why he's probably going to troon out.

A while back, Ben Shapiro responded to a woman's question at an event, by asking why you can change your gender but not your age. Quinton referred to this on the SOTY podcast in between clicking legos together. He mentioned that he considers anti-trans politics to be a form of hatred, not political speech. his sensitivity to it, and overreaction either means he's into them, wants to be one, or wants to be rewarded for being on "the right side".
He himself has alluded he joins groups looking for the "cool people". Quinton made a video where he deep-throated Contrapoints with copious amounts of coomer praise. The other simp for Contrapoints literally wants to be Contrapoints. I don't even have to tell you who I'm talking about. I don't have the pictures saved, but if you look at the past year, he's been growing his hair out. I always suspect whenever a pro-lgbt youtube/twitch/whatever grows their hair out (or shaves it) they've already decided to pursue the gender bender madness. Why wouldn't they? No one is telling them otherwise, and if they are, its hatred to someone like Quinton.

I doubt Quinton cares about this discardable pop culture defined by happy meals and kids toys. But, looking at his body i assume he consumes copious amounts a la moviebob, and then tells himself "i'm a critic, i'm doing this because it's a part of the important work I'm doing." Look at someone like Renegade Cut for similarities
Alternatively or additionally, he's doing it in the ironic sense to signal to other people that he's woke, and is "making fun of capitalism" to get validation from the lefty people on youtube.
 

Woke Blue Muttlema

DMs might be open, but your heart is not
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Is that the pathetic or is it pathetic that his fans are giving him that much when he does dick all?
There is a person donating $17 through three accounts.

The misinterpretation is because that post was supposed to include the information I am going to include now. I already have posted about how Q's Patreon is a disaster, but I am going to hit the point home further with stuff that was only available earlier this month.

  • You give Quinton $1, you receive a Discord invite to the Patreon exclusive invite if he feels like it. You might as well donate at least $2 and be very careful to not make him suspect you are a troll because he has already kicked several innocent patrons over that. The server rarely ever got to at least a third of Q's total patrons.
  • You give Quinton $5, you receive video credits in the form of a Premiere text layer with no distinction between tiers with the exception of the guy that gives him $100.
  • You give Quinton $10, you receive the right to ask him ONE question per month but you need to make sure to not ask him anything that might make him feel uncomfortable. We will return to this later.
  • You give Quinton $25, after three months you receive a personalised Quinton Reviews mug. No, I am not joking.
  • You give Quinton $30, you receive the unsold plushies from the Makeship campaign, not including shipping outside the USA. This tier used to be for a personal postcard he technically has yet to fully cover and he messed the orders for the plushie anyway.
  • You give Quinton $55, you receive a personalised voice recording within the boundaries of what he is willing to record at the price of a low-end, professional VA and a personalised mug after three months.
And now, the piece de resistance. Get tardy because here comes what I meant by this Patreon being pathetic.
Quinton's Q&A tier is pitiful, as he has made 10 posts calling for questions in what is supposed to be a monthly segment. Bear in mind Contrapoints and PhilosophyTube do more to earn their Patreon bucks by doing public livestreams.

Dec 17, 2019
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 18, 2020
Apr 2, 2020
Jun 2, 2020
Jul 2, 2020
Agu 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 *
Oct 2, 2020
Dec 6, 2020

* It wasn't a $10 and up exclusive post.

Quinton has only ever done Patreon exclusive Q&As three times. They are just as you might have expected.

Feb 12, 2020



2:05: Quinton talks about his new apartment. He confirms living near his old home.
4:07: Quinton acknowledges not rewarding his $30 patrons with the promised postcards and that he is two months behind with the Q&A.
5:08: Quinton talks about his vacation. Doesn’t recommend going to Anaheim.
5:24: Quinton explains how his $10 tier works, which becomes hilarious in hindsight.
7:01: Quinton explains his process to create videos. Only proceeding with ideas after aspects pertinent to click-ability convince him he can make views of them. He starts thinking on the title and then designs a thumbnail before he starts writing.
8:28: Quinton talks about doing large projects akin to Full Force. He mentions his lore movie and speaks highly of Every Ghost Show, saying “if we cut five minutes of it and made it look more professional it could have aired in Adult Swim” which leads him to talk about the then canned BigFoot plans which he expected to make him “10 million views, billions and start a fake tourism show”
  • His big plans were: 1) BigFoot isn’t real, 2) Change the power dynamics of the first video so he becomes a subordinate.
12:57: Quinton proceeds to give the whereabouts of his friends. Wyatt lives half an hour from Quinton, Caleb lives two hours away and Q wanted all of them to move to California to shoot.
13:56: Quinton talks about his biggest inspiration being his father, which he also calls his best friend. Quinton’s pipe dream when he started YouTube was to make it to Hollywood and reboot his father’s old VHS short films. Even though he knows it is very unlikely he can make it there or even find an audience he admits he would be willing to leave YouTube if given the chance.
16:30: Quinton uses his $6 server (Quanto Analysis) as the main source of feedback for his scripts. He considers them his friends for giving him $6 a month.
20:19: Thoughts on J.K. Rowling. Predictable TERF bashing and calls her a dumbass for being transphobic.
24:35: Quinton talks about his less publicised love for Peanuts; how he bought all the books and bought some twice because he lost them while moving and planned to make a video similar to How Garfield Lost Its Magic about it. The only mentioned cast members were Jenny Nicholson as Lucy (or Peppermint Patty) and theOdd1Out as Lynus. He decided against doing it because “Peanuts clickbait doesn’t do as well as Garfield clickbait”.
33:37: Quinton thinks he could beat the shit out of Prince if he didn’t have bodyguards under the excuse he was 4ft (I guess I could fight in his name then) and he would love to beat the shit out of Andrew Jackson by curb stopping him. He even says you can quote him on that.
Quinton recognises he is shit at fulfilling his obligations to his patrons.

May 25, 2020



0:25: Quinton half-jokingly recognises he has not been delivering with Patreon exclusive content while giving excuses. He does it several times (8:16, 10:16, 19:08, 25:55)
1:46: He mentions how his channel has been doing well and he is surprised about it. He is flabbergasted about how well the History Channel videos did. He also talks about how little he had watched nazi documentaries before he started making edits.
5:42: Plans for tourism videos that got canceled because of COVID included a Creationist road trip and going to Garfield Eats to eat everything on the menu, which he estimated being able to make in February of 2021.
10:36: Quinton gets moody after someone asks him how he feels about being the algorithm’s bitch. Even though he is very subtle you can tell this question struck a nerve with him, considering his well-known stances about how YouTube treats the videos he is passionate about.
12:10: Quinton has not watched Psycho, which means he is only familiar with the scene he parodied for The Worst YouTube Video Ever / The Sexdoll Video.
12:54: Quinton mentions being working on a Watchmen video and not being sure how to tackle its continuity. For what it's worth he says he could watch the show and skip the movie, but he either didn’t watch the show or lied because the video ended up being only about Doomsday Clock.
13:44: He is familiar with Ito Junji’s work because of the comparisons with Gorefield.
15:09: Quinton weasels out of giving his opinions on Twin Peaks beyond “whoever claims it’s SOLVED is full of bullshit.”
17:25: Top simp Raccoon Reason gets Quinton to confess he mainly watches History Channel and HLN (informative murder porn with CNN news). He watches Sex & Murder because it comes before Forensic Files.
19:41: Quinton favorite beverages are coffee, six cups a day, and Blue Moon, with him starting to drink alcohol regularly as the quarantine came by and claiming to have a lot of bottles laying in his apartment. He likes strawberry-flavored beer, ergo girly drinks.
20:40: Quinton gets into a minute-long soliloquy about identity after being asked which is his favorite color.
21:58: A low-calorie burrito recipe. He often eats the fillings straight from the bowl when “he has been good”.
23:20: He talks about then upcoming videos. Nazi documentaries, VoidCon. Mentions wanting to record stuff for his BigFoot video in Super 8 and refers to Karl Pilkington as a “cryptid”.
26:05: He says his full name yet gets mad when people call him by that. Stick to the end to see the furry belly.

Oct 23, 2020



0:10: He calls himself Kyle. He again monologues about sucking at delivering Patreon rewards.
1:35: Pre-Election stress leads to playing Christmas music in October.
2:50: Garfield falls on Q’s groin.
6:58: There is a very good chance that the McDonald’s video can become a sabbatical from YouTube based on his answer to places he wants to visit besides Garfield Eats. He also wants to visit his online friends.
9:07: He is pretty salty that My Garfield Vacation and the Garfield Plush arc didn’t get many views.
10:55: He also extends the saltiness to the implication that people care about his character lore.
11:54: Quinton talks about how he decides which topics he makes into videos and his weirdest video idea being about Ben Shapiro not understanding rap, which he ended up not going through because even by his standards it was pretty bad.
15:23: The sand from #Sandgate was used by Q’s parents.
16:03: Quinton’s recounting of Breona Taylor’s killing is very unceremonious for being "the one story that has fucked with him the most".
17:03: A straightforward question about his favourite kind of video becomes a salty monologue about how he cannot risk doing all sorts of videos and another reason to name weird McDonald’s.
18:12: Quinton gets extra sad while talking about YouTubers but makes sure to stroke Erik’s ego.
20:02: Quinton loves fanart… except when it comes from trolls, which is the reason he doesn’t host it anymore.
21:46: He loves Thundercats, SpongeBob, and loved Kappa Mikey, until he convinced himself it was racist.
22:39: “How many times do you think you have said the word “Garfield” in the last year alone?” Somehow he gets into another doomer tangent.
24:08: Only including this timestamp because he calls Peppermint Patty “so cute, and the way he crushes on Charlie Brown is just adorable” which combined with the revelations that Jenny was going to be playing her as a guest made me irk a little.
24:49: Chapo’s book inspired his Star Wars video. Subtle political references, my bum.
He just rushes the last four minutes, which involved at least eight questions ranging from “has Jim Davies reached out to you?” to “are you single?” My theory is that the cause of the rush was a message he received.

America woke up knowing Quinton has somehow 845 patrons now after the McDonald's video has gone up and is a built-in call to action. So yeah, failing upwards is a stable of the Quinton Reviews experience.
 
Last edited:

Michael Jacks0n

You know I'm bad, I'm bad.
kiwifarms.net

How long do you want to bet Quinton cries over Munkey calling him a pussy
I actually watched that one a moment ago. A little low effort for Mumkey's usual stuff, but I still like the jabs at Q for sliding into his DM's that one time. Apparently he still complains about this and it drives him nuts when people bring it up.
 

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