Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[turditup]

I watched that Fred video in whole, as well as the first 90 min cut of the iCarly video, but i CANNOT stomach even starting a 5 hour Quinton vid, i actually need a break from his grossly lethargic shite before i even try

But i just can't stop thinking about how he's such a sped that he needs to try and rewire his Estrogen-ass mind to make iCarly a daily necessity and have a fucking children's show be directly associated with not eating cope McDonalds to try lose weight.

Also, Game Theory; since Q is such a progressive sperg i doubt he'd actually make a video where he documents a successful weight loss journey and fames it as bettering himself, because "Body Shaming". I think he's either going to fucking fail (see "I lost a menial amount of weight, lessgo Taco Bell") and try to play it like it doesn't matter because he's happy as he is OR it'll be a pretty negligible loss and he'll talk about having some sort of revelation about how "toxic" and "harmful" dieting/weight loss culture is.

Just a theory, tho, interested to check back on this thread to see how it actually goes.

 

[Big Meaty Claws]

Jesus fuck it's five hours long....

how the fuck does this thumbnail NOT reeked of anything BUT "Oh man, I wanna fuck these kids SO BAD"

 

[Wally Gator]

I'm 50 minutes in. I can feel my brain atrophy already. Nothing but recaps of episodes of a mindless children's sitcom by a soy-man. No insight. No real commentary other than the most basic, surface level 5th grade book report. Creeping dread at the thought of another four hours of this. Still watching. I hate myself.

Two hours in. The word iCarly means nothing anymore. Nothing has value. Words just keep coming out of his mouth. How the fuck can someone stand to write, film, and edit this? How do you live with yourself?

Two and change. Quinton saying the word "kiss" over and over again is viscerally disturbing. He stretches it out and lingers on it. It feels forbidden coming out of his mouth.

Three hours in. I'm upset. I'm upset now. He's ranting about what constitutes a season. There's no point to any of this. Usually when you watch a youtuber break down some fluff or pablum in a lighthearted way there's a hook to it. A new angle you haven't thought of. This is just nothing. It's listening to a kid with brain damage rant about which ninja turtle is his favorite for five hours. But at least that might have slivers of comedy...

Done. MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T EVEN WATCH/RECAP THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW. HE QUIT AFTER SEASON THREE. FLAMES. FLAMES ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE. FUCK THIS GUY. HE COULDN'T EVEN SHIT THE WHOLE THING OUT ON TIME

 

[Whatyahideing]

Ok after a little break I'm back at it again

10:24 - 10:41: I would call that unhealthy but I guess do what you must quinton

 

[Tathagata]

Ok after a little break I'm back at it again

10:24 - 10:41: I would call that unhealthy but I guess do what you must quinton

Just edit your original post with these. Smashing your head against quinton's retardation doesn't need to be scattered through the thread.

I think he's either going to fucking fail (see "I lost a menial amount of weight, lessgo Taco Bell") and try to play it like it doesn't matter because he's happy as he is OR it'll be a pretty negligible loss and he'll talk about having some sort of revelation about how "toxic" and "harmful" dieting/weight loss culture is.

He's going to fail because he has no willpower. No matter how he tries to jazz it up, losing weight requires some self-control and will. Quinton can't even stick to a video upload schedule and that's what pays his bills.

 

[Whatyahideing]

Just edit your original post with these. Smashing your head against quinton's retardation doesn't need to be scattered through the thread.

Yeah sure thing I was just trying to go with the flow of the thread but yeah that sounds like a better idea.

 

[zelurker]

1 hour 10 minutes in and the most insightful commentary was how Freddy used some clown shoes in order to be taller than the girls earlier in the show.

to be honest I'd rather watch this video than the actual show, even if it is just a recap filled with "WOW that joke sure was FUCKED UP, that was just WRONG" or "HAHA wouldn't it be funny if this character was this extreme thing???" disguised as a... analysis? I think he called something like that before.

As for his weight loss, I'm GUESSING it was just a joke for the video, but if it wasn't, that is never going to work out. In order to actually get fit you need to at least somewhat enjoy yourself while doing it, assossiate with something you like, not a mediocre kids show you're now forced to watch while doing your job. You can't avoid eating food, being miserable, bored or anxious is only going to make you crave some mcnuggies.

On that note, at least in my experience, you should never think about the finish line of a personal long term goal (that requires active work afterwards, mind you) so much as he seems to be doing. Either you focus on the now and think about what you need to do and actually put in the work, or you'll think about how funny it'll be once you're there and how everybody will react and lose all motivation halfway through because hey you know what this isn't as easy or as funny as I thought maybe I'll cheat just for today

 

[zelurker]

He's talking about the aspect ratio the show was produced and released on different formats and it's actually interesting but why is it an hour and twenty minutes into the video? The moment I saw the footage of the show in the video I thought "wait wasn't this in 4:3?" and then disregarded it as me remembering it wrong. He really should've put this at the start because he admits he thought the same thing in this mini tangent.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

I know I plug my own posts too much, but just a page ago I linked the timestamps of the first iCarly draft including the time he talks about having nightmares about being Carly and that time he tried to lecture his audience on the rule of thirds while knowing nothing about composition.

Don't risk your brain cells on this, is not even ironic funny. Is just Quinton summarizing iCarly while applying big boy analysis to stuff that wasn't intended to be looked at that deep.
The only thing about his analysis I kind of like is that he contacted an expert on Washington law through Twitter (yeah, where you find experts on everything) and keeps a tally of the crimes committed by season. Problem is that it is drowned in a snoozefest filled with needless exposition. Quintons style of writing is what you get when someone talks about his own feelings while talking about a movie. A review is a description of an experience.

The only noteworthy things to me are his monologue about dreaming of being Carly and having anxiety nightmares while on set, the aforementioned ignorance on photography composition, and how he describes characters stealing kisses as "pre-#metoo" while also reading Mindy as being autistic and getting a tangent about how beatbox kids tend to be cool. If he managed to add anything else worth clipping, I will clip it but the Inside Mari bit only got surpassed imo when he admitted being obsessed about his subcount and delivered a Linkara rant in the FRED video.

Apparently, Quinton gets quite defensive about that episode in which Carly gets a bf who collects plushies and talks about testosterone levels. Quinton wanted to mock how Shelby Marx being a top fighter in MMA was ridiculous when Victoria Justice is extra skinny but pussied out because of reasons.

 

[albert chan]

Does it not strike anyone on this thread that it took him almost five hours to make a video essay about iCarly? Why would something like that need five hours to do this? Autism, Garfield and trans VHS tapes aside

 

[zelurker]

Does it not strike anyone on this thread that it took him almost five hours to make a video essay about iCarly? Why would something like that need five hours to do this? Autism, Garfield and trans VHS tapes aside

money

 

[Country Matters]

money

i actually momentarily whitelisted him to see how many adrolls it had (i was assuming like, 3-4) and i didnt see the little yellow tickmarks those usually have. how many did he have in this video?

and anyway, if he wanted big money on this, make it less than almost 5 hours lol, i barely even click on 1 hour vids on youtube of stuff im interested in, how many people are actually sitting down to watch this? thats 1/6 of your day down the toilet

 

[zelurker]

i actually momentarily whitelisted him to see how many adrolls it had (i was assuming like, 3-4) and i didnt see the little yellow tickmarks those usually have. how many did he have in this video?

and anyway, if he wanted big money on this, make it less than almost 5 hours lol, i barely even click on 1 hour vids on youtube of stuff im interested in, how many people are actually sitting down to watch this? thats 1/6 of your day down the toilet

You'd be suprised just how many people watch these long review/analysis videos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtrAx-rVgco&ab_channel=JosephAndersonJosephAndersonVerificada

I'd rather think he made a five hour video on ICarly for the money seeing as how the new season is just around the corner rather than as anything actually serious anyways. Has he been working on this before it was announced?

 

[Country Matters]

You'd be suprised just how many people watch these long review/analysis videos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtrAx-rVgco&ab_channel=JosephAndersonJosephAndersonVerificada

I'd rather think he made a five hour video on ICarly for the money seeing as how the new season is just around the corner rather than as anything actually serious anyways. Has he been working on this before it was announced?

According to Blue, he's been planning it since October of last year, as this post was from February 2021

I doubt he had any other plan besides just doing it. The iCarly retrospective was something Q used to convince his fanbase to inflate his subcount since mid October and he plans on making several videos. Chances are that it only premieres until March, which would match Q's expected return since he technically is on vacation.

And the earliest I saw the announcement is from May 2021. So he was actually ahead of the game on that, and through his procrastination had fortunate timing

 

[macguyver16]

Saving some of the replies from Twitter for posterity:

I have THC and sake at the ready. This will be the first Quinton video i have attempted to watch in years.

We're going in, boys.

 

[Richter Blobmondo]

I'm trying to watch the FRED video and boy I can't stand how he is inflocate his voice and how he speaks

Also the glasses shit is retared

 

[Gar For Archer]

I'd watch maybe an 80 minute Q video as background noise, just for the curiosity.

Five hours? Fuck no.

I don't know much about the Youtube algorithm, but surely these retardedly long videos must be bad for engagement, right? I have to imagine you're better off splitting it into parts so you can rack up more views and comments on each one while also not pushing away everyone who immediately nopes out after seeing the runtime.

 

[Mal0]

I'm sorry, I already watched the first rough cut of it, no need to waste more of my time.

 

[Korpon]

0:00 - 2:00: Just a bunch of preamble about to show and it's history. god why is a video this long not spilt into chapters like most video essay are know days. I already regret this.

2:00 - 4:02: I won't really say that icarly predicted the future. since by the time the show started airing people like Philip Defranco and and Ray William Jonson were all ready living out with similar circumstances. Plus tv like networks like machinima were being formed so the things the show purposed weren't that far off from when it was made. Also Quinton don't lie you haven't been to another youtubers set your to much of a loser for that.

4:02 - 5:00: I think Quinton is probably gonna get a huge subscriber boost from this because with the new season releasing in a few weeks people are more aware of what iCarly is more then ever. Plus the people who probably are nostalgic for icarly are now left leaning grifters so there the perfect audience for poor old Quinton.

5:00 - 6:00: Wait so this just part 1 and It's 4 fucking hours. yeah this is probably gonna be the only one I'm doing.

6:00 - 8:54: Even more preamble about how he's doing this project including the fun little fact that HE RESTUCTUREING HIS ENTIRE LIFE AROND THE SHOW! Jesus man no wonder you were so moody this year you have been watching icarly every single day a mediocre at best kids show.

8:54 - 10:24: After losing his mind a bit more quinton revels something we all knew from the begging and I quote "I'm a fat pieces of shit." Not only is this an icarly retrospective but also a weight lost journey ho ray. judging by his more "modern photos" that didn't turn out so well.

10:24 - 10:41: I would call that unhealthy but I guess do what you must quinton

10:41 - 12:37: In this stretch of time quinton laments his other attempts of getting attention including how he spent almost thousands of hours in raid shadow legends just for a joke. Quinton you do realize that spending most of your life chasing dead memes is the reason your probably depressed right?

12:37 - 12:54: Your right cause those stunts actively prevent you from so maybe you should STOP DOING THEM IF THERE ARN'T FUNNY.

Ok you know what I think I had enough of this stupid video. I know I haven't got to the main part but you know what I'm gonna be better then quinton and not force myself work on something I do not enjoy or pretend I like it just for a stupid joke. Besides this video really doesn't say anything new about quinton that we all ready didn't know that he is a spineless loser with no self-esteem.

I don't know why but the angry Shinji pfp makes this funnier to read.

 

[Richter Blobmondo]

What's the fuck is up with this thread and it's constantly begging Quinton to "troon" out

His high voice is trying to do a stupid TV / engaging presentable narrator that YouTube dumbfucks do

I swear to fucking god, this site obsession with troons are forever more annoying then actual troons