Quotes that describe lolcows well -

[ShittyRecolor]

There are quite a few entertaining threads about describing stuff with lolcow quotes, but there doesn't seem to be a thread dedicated to (more or less) popular quotes that fit certain lolcows well (either that or I suck at searching threads).

It can be quotes from famous people, movies, novels, games, the works. I'd like to start by this little segment from MGS: Snake Eater's epilogue that always makes me think of OPL:

Have fun, everyone!

 

[Bungleboy]

Yo, society's got you living for a whack cause
You're a fucking adult with no skills at all
You don't read any books or play ball
You don't draw, you literally do nothing at all
Still you fiend for the glamorous fruits
You don't have cause you idolize rappers that do

And all they say is "I got money and it's stacked to the roof"
And now you think that it's gon' magically just happen to you
How? Your lazy ass don't commit to labor
You pick something up, try it out, and put it down two minutes later
Then you complain about your life cause it ain't getting catered
Now whoever tries to call you on your bullshit's a hater

 

[TowinKarz]

Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

 

[Gordon Cole]

[...] I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

 

[ZepFloyd94]

"You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity"

 

[Konstantinos]

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

Spoiler: That applies specifically to this majestic creature

 

[Darwin Watterson]

"You're just a drop of embarrassment in an ocean of shame"

- My namesake, Darwin from The Amazing World of Gumball

 

[Oglooger]

 

[Lady Belle]

"The idiot heard the sounds, but they had no meaning for him. He lived somewhere, apart, and the little link between word and significance hung broken."

- Theodore Sturgeon, More Than Human.

In a more modern take on this quote, we can say what we need to say to these guys, but it's in one ear and out the other with them.

 

[Abethedemon]

"In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu lies dreaming"
To describe the constant content droughts that many lolcows suffer from.

 

[Chris-Chan Cure]

"I am hilarious and you will quote EVERYTHING i say!"
- Nappa, Dragon Ball Z Abridged

 

[Trombonista]

Is "Stupid is as stupid does" too obvious a choice?

 

[JP 307]

“No amount of therapy will ever make this moment OK.”

 

[Henry Bemis]

George Bernard Shaw was a brilliant man, but I think he missed the boat when he said:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

 

[Hi I Am From Page 6]

"It is in these circumstances most especially, that exceptional individuals, instead of being deterred, should be encouraged in acting differently from the mass."

- John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

 

[Morbid Boredom]

"Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself".

Exhibit A: ADF's lump-sum payment from SSDI.

 

[BILLY MAYS]

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that even genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein