r/legaladvice - In which reddit's finest minds solve the world's weirdest legal problems

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

He'd been better off by not labeling the bag with "Do not eat, poison" in the first place.

Had he just put the laxatives from day 1 with no warning he'd still get a good kick out from fucking with the thief and nobody could allege malicious intent even if things went south, and even if they did the guy could've argued he had been suffering from constipation and that would be the end of it.

He did label it, said it still got stolen. Idk, I'm kind of on his side here...

 

[AnOminous]

Again, I'm no lawyer, but one thing I think will hurt him is that he put an unpoisoned package in the fridge previously, and observed that it had been stolen regardless. He then had reason to know that labeling such an item wouldn't deter the thief, and could reasonably anticipate that the poison would end up being eaten. This reasonably anticipable consequence of setting such a trap sounds like negligence to me.

I'd say it's more than negligence. It's intentional at that point. He intentionally put poison in something that someone then ate, and that he believed they would eat, as they already had. He's in serious criminal trouble. Usually, poisoning someone is considered a more serious form of assault. The fact that it was just laxatives and probably wouldn't kill him puts him at the low end of what is probably a felony.

I am suspicious of the story, though, because I don't think an entire office of people would see something labeled as poison in a shared refrigerator and not do anything.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

I'd say it's more than negligence. It's intentional at that point. He intentionally put poison in something that someone then ate, and that he believed they would eat, as they already had. He's in serious criminal trouble. Usually, poisoning someone is considered a more serious form of assault. The fact that it was just laxatives and probably wouldn't kill him puts him at the low end of what is probably a felony.

I am suspicious of the story, though, because I don't think an entire office of people would see something labeled as poison in a shared refrigerator and not do anything.

Do you think the DA will bother to press charges if the brownie thief isn't seriously harmed? What about a civil lawsuit?

 

[AprilRains]

Do you think the DA will bother to press charges if the brownie thief isn't seriously harmed? What about a civil lawsuit?

First, the brownie thief would have to know that his digestive troubles were due to a rigged brownie. Then he'd have to get law enforcement interested. If the poisoner just keeps his damn mouth shut, he's likely to get away with it.

 

[AnOminous]

First, the brownie thief would have to know that his digestive troubles were due to a rigged brownie. Then he'd have to get law enforcement interested. If the poisoner just keeps his damn mouth shut, he's likely to get away with it.

Seriously? You don't think someone who ate a bag labeled "POISON" in big letters who then got carted off in an ambulance would add two and two?

 

[AprilRains]

Seriously? You don't think someone who ate a bag labeled "POISON" in big letters who then got carted off in an ambulance would add two and two?

Probably he will. He might be reluctant to report the incident, as it does not reflect very well upon him. The difficulty I see is in proving the poisoning itself. A label on a bag, especially a bag which may no longer be around, doesn't necessarily prove much.

The other thing I considered was the possibility that the thief didn't read the label. Would you eat anything out of a bag with that label?

 

[AnOminous]

The other thing I considered was the possibility that the thief didn't read the label. Would you eat anything out of a bag with that label?

No, but I'm not an idiot. The kind of dipshit who steals other people's food from work probably is. The fact that someone could eat it accidentally is why you prosecute cases like this. It could just have looked like something someone else brought from home and just didn't look at it.

You don't poison people. It's a crime, and you should be sent to prison if you do.

 

[Country Matters]

I'd say it's more than negligence. It's intentional at that point. He intentionally put poison in something that someone then ate, and that he believed they would eat, as they already had. He's in serious criminal trouble. Usually, poisoning someone is considered a more serious form of assault. The fact that it was just laxatives and probably wouldn't kill him puts him at the low end of what is probably a felony.

I am suspicious of the story, though, because I don't think an entire office of people would see something labeled as poison in a shared refrigerator and not do anything.

I read both the thread and the "Best of Legal Advice" thread and many were positing that the OP was making up a story, but doing it to see if he could get into trouble for a plan he had for a lunch thief in his office, which I think is definitely possible

 

[AprilRains]

No, but I'm not an idiot. The kind of dipshit who steals other people's food from work probably is.

That's possible.

The fact that someone could eat it accidentally is why you prosecute cases like this. It could just have looked like something someone else brought from home and just didn't look at it.

You don't poison people. It's a crime, and you should be sent to prison if you do.

No argument here. I think it might not wind up being prosecuted, if it even happened as written, but the poisoner could use some prison time IMO.

 

[Donovan the Man]

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvic...i_want_it_back_but/?utm_source=reddit-android (https://archive.md/LPdwL)

this doesn't sound legitimate

you won't hurt his chances at law school, nor would I think this effects his chance at being accepted (except negatively), this is shocking

Like I said, I’m not prelaw. He explained that this was a normal thing people do to get experience on their resumes when they can’t get legal jobs. He helped his gf a lot with a similar arrangement and I thought I didn’t have anything to worry about.

"helped his gf a lot with a similar arrangement"
Helped his gf to get in law school? Or helped his gf via her giving him POA?

His gf gave him power of attorney. Right now he has it for me and her. Another friend of ours is considering giving him one too.

I want to believe.

 

[Bean Cheese]

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/awx85l/can_my_parentsschool_force_me_to_take_heart/ (https://archive.md/De7Ez)
Fat kid doesn’t realize how badly he fucked his body up.

Also,
“Heart Attack”
“Medication”

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/awx85l/can_my_parentsschool_force_me_to_take_heart/ (https://archive.md/De7Ez)
Fat kid doesn’t realize how badly he fucked his body up.

Also,
“Heart Attack”
“Medication”

This is the same kid that didn't want to go to a fat camp last summer:

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/r-legaladvice.44678/page-2#post-3507790

Links:
Part I: https://www.ceddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8lx7yx/can_my_parents_make_me_go_to_fat_camp/
Part II: https://www.ceddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8r5xo8/can_my_parents_make_me_go_to_fat_camp_update/
Part III: https://www.ceddit.com/r/legaladvic...y_parents_make_me_go_to_fat_camp_last_update/
Part IV: https://www.removeddit.com/r/relati...m_didnt_stay_at_a_fat_camp_and_my_parents_39/
TL;DR: he's 15, weighs 260 lbs / 118 kg, was sent to a fat camp, and then got kicked out back home for not participating in any activities and his parents were so disappointed in him that they didn't talk to him for three weeks.

 

[AprilRains]

That kid may need a thread.

 

[neverendingmidi]

That kid may need a thread.

God knows he probably won't live long after he's legal.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

That kid may need a thread.

Unfortunately he's too young for one right now, and the odds of him actually living to 18 sound slim. (Unlike him.)

 

[break these cuffs]

I would not vote to convict him were I on that jury

I'd vote guilty for being a reddit user alone tbh.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

He weighed 260 pounds in June of last year. God only knows what he weighs now.

 

[WhatNemesisMeans]

That kid may need a thread.

Agreed, now that Chance has gone to that big pile of shit in the sky we have several free seats waiting for a new occupant. Given how much of a fatty he already is, if he makes it past his 18th birthday he'll probably need all of them.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

His parents are really shitty though. It's their fault he was fat since he was small and now they ignore him for weeks just because he got kicked out of some fucking fat camp. First they abuse him by shoving shit down his throath and now emotinal. What assholes.

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

Update on the kid: he got a severe attack of sleep apnea, got scared of suffocating and dying, wants to lose weight:

r/loseit - I'm 15 and I'm so afraid I'm gonna die

579 votes and 105 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

http://archive.md/kmHn2

But so you won't say I'm straying away from the topic:

A guy had long hair and wanted to cut it short. He decided to stage a prank as if he got his hair cut without his consent by surprise. The friend who was supposed to perform the deed mistook some girl for him and cut her hair. She's suing him for about $1000 and he might face assault charges:

r/legaladvice - Prank gone wrong (Michigan)

0 votes and 107 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

http://archive.md/Ceqns

She looks fine and honestly she'd look cute if she just cut it all off anyway