/r/smalldickproblems - Your favorite subreddit; "Life isn't all about sex, but it isn't much of a life without one."


The hyeckin frickyen sweetist
True & Honest Fan

On Reddit, there is no community that's more comedically pitiful than r/SmallDickProblems (a). It is a place where the self-described 0.6% of the population who have micropenises go to jerk each other off while crying over their Body Dysmorphic Disorder, while simultaneously refusing to seek professional help. Nick Mullen, a comedian and professional autist, called this "the funniest subreddit (he's) ever seen" on an episode of his cum-themed podcast dedicated to looking at posts from it. Could these people really be that entertaining?

(I have already archived this episode, I'll make a reupload if this copy gets taken down)

First off, this subreddit has two entire threads on words/sentences that will trigger them; one (a) posted by frequent user u/DolphinBoy_Future (a) and the other (a) by a deleted user.


You literally cannot say anything positive about their penises, because they always have a whiny reason for throwing it out.

"I love having sex with you"
"Your dick feels amazing"
"Your dick is perfect"
"You fuck me so good"
You get the picture. Don't mention how big or small it is. You may say something like "You feel so big inside me". This is not a good thing to say for a few reasons. First of all a man with an actual small penis knows that he is not big. So saying "You feel so big inside me" to us sounds as fake as a pornstar screaming like a banshee while getting titty fucked. This is regardless of whether it feels big or not.

You can't even say that you had a good time with them! They'll take any compliment given to them and instantly shove it up their ass.


These people are not only incredibly open about what bothers them, but they'll analyze and structure what you say in order to continue feeling bad for their dicks. Only people with especially small dicks care this much about semantics. That sentence is (small/AND/unfavorable) by the way.

Writing and speaking this way perpetuates negative stereotypes. It's based on the ASSUMPTION that a small penis is inadequate, that it always has to be apologized for or compensated for.
I challenge everyone (myself included) to communicate in ways that DON'T mark us as inherently inferior.
  1. The first two sentences are such Social Justice Warrior bullshit, just replace "small penis" with "black person", or something like that.
  2. If people are communicating in ways that "mark you as inherently inferior", most of the time, it's because they want you to feel like shit. They're not going to listen to you, no matter how hard you plea them to be nice.

This guy "dies inside" when someone complains about their penis, the exact same thing he does. These people honestly believe their dicks make them oppressed! It's so fucking absurd how much they care about dongs.

r/SmallDickProblems is at it's best when anyone who isn't a melodramatic retard posts on the subreddit, like on this post called "I miss his dick small dick" (a)


She gave this detailed response on what it was like dating someone who had a small penis, giving both positives and negatives. However, she is on the micropenis subreddit, so of course they're going to shit their pants.


Here is a guy comparing rape to being rejected by a woman, calling it "emotional rape" and putting lots of emphasis on it. Making the text bold decreases how retarded your post is, right?


He blatantly missed the entire point of the post. She could go into graphic, explicit detail about how much she loved getting fucked by a 4-inch penis, and he would still focus on a single sentence just to make himself the victim again.

My favorite exchange when researching for this thread was from u/TheMeerkatLobbyist (a) and u/fuckbraincelmods (a), two frequent users.


I have linked and archived both of their profiles, because I've gone through their overviews and they seem particularly interesting. I might update this thread and post more of their sped shit.

Kinda funny how you were just about to take OPs post serious but then you read these replies. I feel sorry for you man.
"Go to therapy for your small dick issues" LMFAO.
"Insecure" is the absolute best part. Calling him "insecure" for what he said is literally so mindblowingly dumb i'm not even going to waste my time on adressing it. Someone shares his actual experience on a reddit designed for this, gets called insecure. I suppose you need to lie because that will make you not look "insecure". LOL what a joke. Like
be confident about ur small dick after being humiliated for it all your life.

How can you read this and not believe these people are lolcows? I have no idea.

To end this post, I offer a gift for the retards who post on Articles & Happenings: here is a black guy having a mental breakdown over not having a big dick like Daddy Pornhub promised (a).

You know how it feels to be part of a vertically endowed culture and still be living with a small penis.

Ah you sure you really a kang, nikka?


:informative: THREAD HIGHLIGHTS (3/4/2020) :informative:
Right now there is a new top post where OP is explaining how those who want to help aren't actually helping
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Prince Lotor

Oldschool 80's winged-helmet autism
Is there a subreddit for women with small vaginas? Seems like a pretty easy fix if you got those two together. Has anyone suggested to these doods to try dating a woman with a small vagina? Of course they'll probably still get turned down. No woman wants to be with a guy this whiney and pathetic. This seems more like a subreddit for incels who also happen to have a small dick tbh.

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